Junhyung’s POV

“What are you doing?” J asked as he peeped over my shoulder.

“Nothing.” I muttered.

“What’s this?” He asked, taking the piece of paper I was looking at.

“Lyrics?” He looked at me quizzically.

I nodded.

“So this is what you volunteered to perform?” He asked.

“Yea.” I said, taking the paper back from him.

“But why sing?” He asked.

“It’s what I do best.” I said.

“I thought you rap?” He asked.

“Aish! I’m an all-rounder, okay! Rap, sing, act, dance, variety, I can do it all!” I said, smacking him on his head with a book.

“Ouch! Ouch! Okay! Okay! All-rounder!” He crossed his arms and pouted like a kid.

“Hahaha~ I’m sorry~” I said, rubbing his head.

“But… this song seems sad.” He said, reading the lyrics.

“I am sad.” I said, as a matter-of-factly.

He smiled awkwardly at me.

“Aren’t we all a little sad some times?” I asked.

He looked at me, and then nodded.

“She’ll come back to you, hyung.” He said.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“As long as you are alive and she is alive, there is still a chance.” He said.

“J, you know, some bonds are so strong that even death cannot break. For example, the bond between a father and his son.” I said.

He smiled sadly at me.

“APPA!!!!!!!!!!” A familiar voice yelled, startling me.

I turned back to find Ji Eun and Tae Hyun running towards me.

“Aigoo~ My babies~” I said as I opened my arms wide for them to jump into.

“Appa, I miss you!” Ji Eun pouted.

“Me too.” I pinched her nose lightly.

“Who is this?” Ji Eun asked, looking at J.

“Appa’s friend.” Tae Hyun said, smiling at J.

“Appa chingu, annyeonghasaeyo.” Tae Hyun said to J as he bowed.

“Annyeonghasaeyo.” Ji Eun greeted him as well.

“Erm… erm.. Hi. I.. I’m J.” J said, trying to look away. I could see tears welling up in his eyes.

“Appa, why did he look away? Am I very ugly?” Ji Eun pouted.

“No. No. I don’t mean it that way. Don’t misunderstand me. You’re not ugly. You’re very beautiful. I just…” J tried to explain to Ji Eun.

Ji Eun broke off from my embrace and went to hug J. J seemed a little surprised at first, but then let Ji Eun hug him after that.

“Ahjusshi, don’t cry. Ji Eun will play with you.” Ji Eun said.

“Really? You’ll play with me?” J asked.

Ji Eun nodded.

“Me too!” Tae Hyun said, taking J’s hand into his.

“Ahh~ And then what about me?” I teased them.

“Appa, we have forever to play with you!” Ji Eun said as she dragged J away.

Forever? How do I break it to Ji Eun that there is no such thing as forever? She looks so happy when she said it. Then again, perhaps there is forever, it is just how we see it. Just like… while Loki is not here physically, he lives in our hearts forever. While Haneul is not here physically, she will forever have a piece of me.

“Hey! I’ve been calling you!” Seungho hyung said, shaking me.

“Oh. Oh. Hi, hyung. Hi.” I greeted.

“What were you thinking off?” He asked.

“Just… nothing.” I muttered.

He looked at me strangely, but did not press further.

“Where are your kids? I thought they ran in first.” He said, looking around.

“They are with J.” I said.

“J? As in, Jace? But Jace is with Minki.” He said.

“Not Jace. Someone else. From here.” I said.

“You made friends!?” He asked, surprised.

“I guess.. I did. Hee~” I scratched the back of my head shyly.

“Aigoo~ Junhyungie is making friends? That’s a good move!” He said, pinching my cheek.

“Ahh hyung~ Don’t do that.” I covered my cheeks.

He laughed and slung his arm over my shoulders, dragging me along.

“HYUNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!” I heard a few familiar voices yell, and then I was pinned down onto the ground.

“Ahh Junhyung ah~ Junhyung ah~” The boys were all over me, pinching me like I was some fruit.

“How have you been?” Doojoon asked finally as he pulled me up.

“Good.” I smiled.

“Now, that sounded sincere.” He punched my arm playfully.

“I heard that you’re going to sing later!” Yoseob said.

I nodded.

“Aye, you better not disgrace Beast!” He punched my chest.

What is with them and punching me every time they come?

“DEEDEE, I’M FLYING!!!!!!!!!! FLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” We turned as we heard Minki shout.

Jace was swinging her all over the place, earning joyful screams from the girl.

“She has grown a lot since I last saw her.” I said to Seungho hyung, who was watching his daughter like a proud father.

“She sure has. And the day will come where she will not want me to kiss her anymore.” He said, sounding a little sad.

“I’m pretty sure Minki will always be daddy’s little girl.” I said.

He shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

“Deedee!!!” Minki giggled as she crashed her tiny body onto Seungho hyung.

“You tired Jace out.” Seungho hyung said as he picked his little girl up.

She giggled and snuggled her face into his neck.

“Minki ah, will you still come to daddy like that when you have grow older?” Seungho hyung asked.

Minki nodded, her big eyes staring at Seungho hyung.

“Really?” Seungho hyung asked, pinching her cheek.

“Minki will hug daddy forever. Like this!” She said, squeezing Seungho hyung’s neck before taking his cap and putting it on her head.

'DEEDEE! WHERE ARE YOU!?" She yelled when the cap covered her eyes.

"I'm here." Seungho hyung laughed as he adjusted the cap for her.

I am envious of how they can say forever so easily and really mean it. I hope these kids will never know the real definition of forever, because only like that can they always believe in it.

***
“I’m a little nervous, as you can see.” I laughed nervously as I gripped onto the guitar lightly.

It has been a long time since I performed in front of so many people.

“But anyway, I’m just going to do what I do best so… Please listen well, and don’t throw stones at me even if I go out of tune. Thank you.” I bowed to the audience.

“GO FOR IT, HYUNG!!” I heard Dongwoon shout, and then the crowd cheered.

“APPA, FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!” Ji Eun and Tae Hyun jumped like kangaroos.

“I dedicate this song to whomever that is missing someone as of now. To myself, because I miss my son very much, and to J, I’m sure your son is having a good time with my son up there in heaven. So don’t you worry and just live your life well. When it’s time for the both of you to meet again, he will be there waiting for you. A father’s bond with his son is so strong not even death can break.” I said.

Shin pulled J into his embrace as J bawled his eyes out.

“And one more person…” I muttered.

And this song is for you too, Haneul. Are you perhaps somewhere listening?

Haneul, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I have been trying hard. Are you watching me? Do you see it? Haneul, come back to me please. I miss you.

I’ll be able to see you again someday
Because I will wait
Somehow until always
Because I miss you

I will be patient, Haneul. I will wait for the day you forgive me. I don’t know how long it will be, but I believe it will come. Will you be able to forgive me for my mistakes?

Are you doing well without me?
Are you still the same?
Without you,
I am still crying like this

But Haneul, why can’t you appear in front of me at least once? I just want to know if you are doing fine. I just want to know if you’re living well. How long has it been, Haneul ah~ Do you miss me like how I miss you? Do you think of me like how I think of you?

All of those countless good memories
Have you forgotten them all now?
Without you, I am still crying like this
How about you?

I’ll be honest, Haneul. Life without you is a torture. I know I should not be wishing like that, but every day when I open the door, I hope to see you standing there and smiling at me, telling me that you’re back. I know it would be too much for me to ask for you, but I can hope, can I?

Even by chance, don’t worry about me
Because I will wait somehow until always
It’s just that today is especially hard
Because I miss you

Haneul, even if you’re still angry with me, you got to take good care of yourself, alright? You got to eat on time, rest well, don’t overwork. Don’t do it only because of the kids, but also for yourself.

Are you doing well without me?
Are you still the same?
Without you,
I am still crying like this

Why am I worrying so much? You’re Haneul. You’re the strongest person I have ever met. You’ll be okay without me. I know it. You’ll be fine. But Haneul, I’ll never be completed without you. But it’s okay, because I deserve it.

All of those countless good memories
Have you forgotten them all now?
Without you,
I am still crying like this

Haneul, I’m a coward, aren’t I? I don’t have the rights to call your name, let alone think about you. But I do it every day. I hope you hear me one day, Haneul ah~

I live in your memories every day
I see myself, not being able to say anything
Because I’m afraid
I won’t ever see you again

I love you, Haneul ah. Do I still have the rights to do it?

I put the guitar down and bowed to the audience. I watch as my tears dripped all over my shoes. Haneul, did you hear my song for you?

“Umma!” I looked up when I heard Ji Eun yell.

“Where!?” I asked, looking around.

Ji Eun pointed to the side, but all I saw was emptiness.

“Appa, I really saw Umma! I really saw Umma!” Ji Eun insisted.

I jumped down the stage and ran in that direction. Haneul, are you really here? If so, why are you hiding? Is it because you’re still angry? Haneul, at least let me apologize before you decide our fate. Haneul, please.

I ran all over the centre, but no sign of her. Did Ji Eun see wrongly? Or was Haneul really there, but she did not want herself to be seen, therefore she hid away from me?

“Appa, I really saw Umma.” Ji Eun pouted.

I nodded and smiled at her.

“I trust you.” I said.

“But why… why did she run away?” She asked, obviously upset.

“Perhaps… she doesn’t want to see Appa, yet.” I said.

“Umma is bad.” She grumbled as she walked off.

“Hyung, you know there’s another bond that is strong?” J said as he settled down beside me.

“What?” I asked.

“The love bond. Not just any love, but true love. The love that forgives all mistakes and embraces all imperfections. The love that holds two people so tightly together they can only be functional knowing the other person is well.” He said.

I smiled and punched his shoulder lightly.

“She’ll come, hyung. I’m sure she will.” He smiled.

Haneul, he is describing our bond, am I right?

***
Ji Eun: Appa, we have forever to play with you.

 Seungho: She sure has. And the day will come where she will not want me to kiss her anymore.

Minki: Minki will hug daddy forever. Like this!

When Junhyung couldn't find Haneul anywhere.