Haneul’s POV

“I…” I muttered, backing away.

“Haneul? Lionny?” He called out, looking normal out of a sudden.

“Why are you moving away from me? What did I do?” He asked sadly.

“No, no. I’m not moving away.” I said, going closer to him.

He let out a sigh and sat down on the bed, burying his face into his palms.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, smoothing his hair.

“I did that, didn’t I?” He asked, pointing to the mess behind.

“You… know?” I asked, surprised.

“It’s my body, you know.” He chuckled.

“I just couldn’t control it.” He said softly.

I said nothing, except held onto his hand.

“Why did you leave?” He broke the silence.

“I… I am sorry.” I said, looking at him.

“I don’t want ‘sorry’. Honestly, I am not angry at all. I just want to know why. When my family left and came back, they only apologized, giving me no explanation at all. I really want to know why. Is it really that difficult to live with me? Am I… that hateful?” He asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

I shook my head.

“It’s just… I don’t know. I… I couldn’t. I knew if I stayed on, I would hurt you. I don’t want for that to happen.” I tried explaining.

“Then how is leaving any better? You left me the exact same way they did. Why?” He asked.

I kept quiet. I had nothing to say.

“The problem lies with me, doesn’t it? If one person leaves, then perhaps that person has a problem. But now, you too.” He said.

“I’m not leaving you anymore.” I said.

He looked at me, unconvinced.

“We’ll go through this together. I’ll be here for you. I promise.” I said.

“You know, everyone can make a promise, then break it, and say they didn’t mean to do it.” He said, walking out of the room.

I watch him walk away. He must be very disappointed in me.

“Where are the kids?” He asked when I came down.

“You mean… Ji Eun and Tae Hyun?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I… They are in the orphanage.” I said.

He looked at me. I felt my heart raced. Would he turn aggressive again?

“Perhaps.. it’s better this way.” He said.

“I’ll bring them back.” I said.

He shook his head.

“I don’t want to hurt them. Maybe you should leave too.” He said.

“I’m not leaving! I didn’t come back just to leave!” I hugged him tightly.

“I’m not the safest person to be with now. I know myself.” He said coldly.

“Let me help you, Junroro. Please. Let me help you. I promised you I would not leave, and I’m going to keep that promise! Trust me!” I begged.

He shook his head and pushed my hands away.

“Why?” I asked, feeling hurt at his actions.

“There’s no explanation.” He said.

***
“Junroro? Where are you?” I called out when I woke up realizing he was not beside me.

I the lights and went outside.

“Junro…” I stopped when I saw him sitting on the stairs.

“Junroro, what are you doing here?” I asked, sitting down beside him.

He turned to look at me, his expression scared.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

 “Tell me.” I said, rubbing his arm.

He said nothing, except looked at me with a pained expression.

“Loki…” He finally muttered.

“I dreamt of him, and he asked me…” He started tearing up.

“What did he ask?” I asked, letting him rest his head against my shoulder.

“He asked… ‘Daddy, why didn’t you save me? I called for you, Daddy..’”.” He said.

“It’s not your fault.” I said.

“I murdered my son. I am a murderer!” He cried out.

I managed to coax him back to the room. I hushed him to sleep but I stayed awake all night. I never knew hearing him call himself a murderer could hurt so much. I was the one who put that label onto him. What went into me at that point of time? How is it that I could push all the blame onto him when I knew it was not his fault?

“I’m sorry.” I apologized despite knowing that it would not help the situation, but it was the only thing I could say.

***
“What are you looking at?” He asked, sitting down beside me, staring at the webpage I was looking at.

“Nothing much~” I said, turning to him

He smiled at me and kissed me on my cheek.

He was in a good mood today.

“I’m hungry.” He pouted.

“Hungry? What do you want to eat?” I asked.

“You.” He whispered into my ear.

I slapped his arm, causing him to yelp in pain.

“Be serious!” I said.

“I am serious.” He grinned.

“Yong Junhyung.” I said sternly.

“I have no preference.” He said.

“Shall we eat out?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“You wouldn’t let me take a break, would you?” I said.

He laughed and squashed my cheeks.

“I would eat out if every store tasted as good as your cooking.” He said, before kissing me on my lips.

“What a lie~” I flicked his forehead lightly before heading out.

“I’m not lying!!” He yelled.

I went downstairs to cook for him. I cooked him a simple meal since I was feeling pretty lazy.

“Junroro!!!!!!” I yelled when food was almost ready.

“Junhyung ah~!!” I called again.

“Tsk~” I grumbled when he did not respond to me.

“Did you hear me calling you!?” I shouted as I went upstairs.

“Junhyung!” I shouted as I opened our room door.

“Where are you?” I asked no one in particular when he was not in the room.

I looked around while calling out for him. All the rooms on the second level of our house were empty, except for one; Loki’s room.

I pushed the door open, and as expected, he was sitting on the floor beside Loki’s bed, playing with Loki’s soft toy.

“Junhyung~” I called out.

He looked at me, and then went back to playing with the toy.

“Junhyung, you were hungry, weren’t you?” I asked, squatting down beside him.

I tried to take the soft toy away from him but he pushed me away.

“Don’t touch!” He glared at me.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized.

“Junroro, Loki wouldn’t want to see you like that.” I said, but I know he could not hear me at all.

***
Junhyung: Don’t touch!