Haneul’s POV

 “Oh! You’re home!” I was surprised when I came back seeing Junhyung already at home.

“Yea. Came back early today.” He mumbled.

“That’s nice.” I smiled.

“I thought you were working?” He asked.

“I am.” I said, showing him my laptop.

“Then why were you coming out from Seungho’s car?” He asked.

“He happened to pass by my workplace, so he asked if I wanted a ride. Cab fares are expensive these days, you know.” I said, settling my stuff down.

“Public transport are there for a reason. No, scratch that. I exist for a reason. You could give me a call and I would pick you up.” He said.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked, arms crossed.

“What’s wrong with you? How do you think you would look as a married woman coming out of the car of a man who is not your husband?” He asked.

“Is this what it is about? You’re just furious that I got a ride from Seungho?” I asked.

“I’m not furious.” He lied, obviously.

“You said you exist for a reason and that I could call you to pick me up? Ask yourself, how many times have you snapped at me when I called just to merely ask if you wanted dinner or if you would be coming back. What’s wrong with you; shouldn’t I be asking you this question?” I asked.

“Well, you didn’t call me today.” He said.

“Enough, Junhyung. I’m warning you.” I said, controlling myself.

“Warning me?” He smirked, and then walked off.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE BEEN LONGING TO SEE YOU AT HOME MORE OFTEN!? THIS ING HOUSE IS NOT A HOTEL! IT’S NOT SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU JUST COME BACK AND SLEEP! WHEN WE BOUGHT THIS HOUSE, YOU PROMISED ME IT’LL BE FILLED WITH WARMTH! WHERE IN THE ING WORLD IS THE ING WARMTH YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT HUH!?” I yelled.

He stopped and turned back to look at me.

“Are you trying to say that I am not doing my part well enough? While I am out there slogging my life out to earn money for the family, you are complaining?” He asked.

“Did you think I was kidding when I told you I don’t mind living under the bridge just as long as we are together? Did you think it was all a joke? I can give up this house and all the wealth if I could get back the closeness and warmth we once had. I swear I can.” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks unknowingly.

We stared at each other in silence for a minute or so, and then he walked back towards me and pulled me into his embrace. I sank into his embrace, realizing for the first time after so long how much I miss being in his arms.

***

“Jun…” I called out when I did not feel him next to me.

“Junroro~” I called out again as I forced myself to sit up.

I glanced at the clock. It was about 4.30AM.

“Junhyung ah~” I buried my face in my palms as I called out.

I stumbled out of bed to the door. I opened the door to find Junhyung walking out of Loki’s room.

“Omo!” He yelped.

“Hee~ Did I scare you?” I asked tiredly.

“You sure did. What are you doing awake?” He asked, pushing me back into the room.

“What are you doing in Loki’s room?” I asked.

“Huh? No.. I..” He stammered.

I smiled and nodded. He smiled at me too.

“Go back to sleep.” He said, tucking me into bed.

“Didn’t I say I couldn’t sleep without you?” I said, hugging his waist.

“I’m here now. You can sleep.” He said.

I rested my head against his chest and fell into a deep sleep even before I realized it.

***
“I’m home!!” Junhyung shouted.

“WELCOME HOME!!” I shouted back from upstairs.

“Kids not off school yet?” He asked as he strolled into the study where I was.

“School?” I asked, not looking up from my laptop.

“Isn’t… today a school day?” He asked, sitting on my pile of paper on purpose.

I looked at him, and then his . He grinned in response.

“It’s the holidays.” I said.

“Really!? Since when!?” He looked surprised.

“Since last week.” I said.

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have taken them on a trip or something!” He said.

“Oh, you have time for a trip?” I said sarcastically.

“Aye~ Everything can be planned.” He said.

“Then plan it and let me know.” I said, going back to work on my laptop.

“Are you angry?” He asked, poking my cheek.

“No.” I said.

“I’m home early today, aren’t I?” He asked.

“You sure are.” I said.

“Then let’s go out! Where are the kids? At the orphanage?” He asked.

I threw my pen down and stared at him.

“W.. what?” He asked.

I decided that I should not get angry. He obviously did not read my SMS.

“The kids… They are out with Seungho, Minji and Minki.” I said.

“Oh, they are at their place? I can go pick them up.” He said.

“They took our kids on a trip, okay?” I said.

“How come I didn’t know about it!?” He looked at me with wide eyes.

“Because you didn’t read the SMS I sent you.” I said calmly.

“You didn’t send me any SMS.” He argued back.

“I did.” I said.

“If you did, I would have read it.” He said.

“Is it important now?” I asked.

“Well, my kids are away with another family and yet I am the last to know, it sure is important.” He said.

I looked on the floor.

“You should have at least discussed it with me. I didn’t even know the kids were on their holiday.” He said.

“You did not make the effort to find out. Who are you to blame it on me? Did I have the chance to even talk to you? It’s either you come home at 5AM and leave the house at 8AM or you come back with the ‘talk to me and I’ll slap you’ look on your face.” I said.

“You could have called, or tried to talk.” He said.

“So I am not trying hard enough now? It’s my fault that you don’t know anything about our kids life. It’s my fault that I allowed our kids to go on a trip with another family because we could not bring them on one. It’s my fault that I did not discuss it with you. It’s my fault that you are busy with your work. I’m never enough for you, am I? But mind you, I am only human. I have to work, I have to take care of the kids, I have to take care of your needs. And then who is here to take care of what I need!?” I yelled at him.

“I was just saying that you could at least discuss it with me. Why are you flaring up?” He asked.

“Because I am so goddamned tired! You think I enjoy letting the kids go off with another family apart from ours!? You think it was an easy decision for me!? I called you like ten thousand times but you hung up on me each and every time I called! Who was I to ask for opinions!? The wall!?” I shouted.

“You should have seen their faces when I said okay. Sad, yet happy at the same time; Sad because it’s not you bringing them on a trip, but happy because they are so damn bored being confined to all four walls every day.” I said after I calmed down.

“Okay.” He muttered.

“I’m just tired, okay? I’m sorry for yelling.” I said.

He shook his head and left the room.

I hugged my knees and buried my face in between them. What the hell was happening to us?

 ***
“WHAT THE HELL!?” I exclaimed when Junhyung stumbled into the room looking like a wreck.

“What!?” He snapped at me, glaring at me before stumbling into the toilet to puke his guts out.

“Why did you drink so much when you know you cannot hold your alcohol well?” I asked, patting his back as he puked.

“Get off me.” He scoffed as he pushed passed me to the basin to rinse his mouth.

“Yong Junhyung!” I shouted.

He turned to face me, glaring hard.

“Never mind. Just…” I sighed.

“I can do it myself!” He shouted when I tried to take off his clothes for him.

“LIKE YOU CAN STAND WITHOUT WOBBLING!” I yelled back, forcefully tearing his shirt apart.

He did not come home for last night. All he said was that he was busy at work. But he came back drunk.

“Give it to me.” He hissed, snatching the shirt back from me.

“What in the world is going on?!” I asked, feeling tired of all the drama.

He mumbled someone inaudible under his breath before stumbling out of the room. I did not bother going after him.

“WHERE ARE THE KIDS!?” He roared suddenly, opening the door roughly, shocking the hell out of me.

“WHAT!?” I yelled back.

“WHERE ARE THE KIDS!? DID YOU PUT THEM UP WITH SEUNGHO AGAIN, HUH!?” He shouted into my face.

“You’re drunk!” I yelled, pushing him away from me.

“Where are they!?” He shouted.

“ORPHANAGE!! DAMN IT!! READ YOUR SMSES FOR GOODNESS! THEY WERE HAVING A PARTY AND IT WAS GETTING LATE, SO I ASKED JACE TO LET THEM STAY THERE FOR THE NIGHT!” I shouted back.

He glared hard at me.

“What the hell is wrong with you these days!?” I got angry.

“Nothing is wrong with me! But everything is wrong with you!” He pointed an accusing finger at me.

“What did I do!?” I stared at him.

“If not because you are so sneaky with Seungho!” He growled.

“I am sneaky with Seungho!? When on earth!?” I yelled.

“You know it well.” He scoffed.

“I can’t believe this.” I muttered under my breath.

He grabbed the neck of my top, startling me.

“Listen. I am your husband. Not anyone else.” He said in a threatening voice.

“Then ing act like one.” I hissed.

Before I could even react, he threw me against the door. I winced as my body hit the hard wood. I scrambled to my feet and fumbled with the knob. I did not even bother to look back. I was not interested in seeing what a monster my husband has become. I am so glad the kids are not here today. They did not need to see this.

“WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING!?” He yelled.

I could not think straight. All I knew was that I had to get away from him. I dashed into a room and slammed the door shut. Loki’s room. I jumped when I heard banging on the door.

“COME OUT! YOU !” He shouted.

Did my husband just call me a ?

My entire body was shaking. I had no idea what to do.

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.” I muttered to myself as I tried to calm myself down.

I could not afford to sink into sadness. I had to find a way to calm him down before he hurts me, or worse still, himself.

“OPEN THE DOOR OR I’LL BREAK IT DOWN!!!” He screamed.

I paced around the room, unsure of what to do. I stopped when I stepped on something, like a packet. I the lights to see what it was. I froze. I never expected to see such a thing again; the packet of white powdery substance that almost killed my husband. Why is it here again?

I could hear nothing but the loud ringing in my ears. I got down on my knees and bend down to look under the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that I had not make that move. I clenched my fist around the packet until it burst open.

I got up and went to open the door. Junhyung was glaring at me angrily. But this time, I am angry too.

“How could you do this?” I tried to hold back my tears.

“What?” He growled.

“HOW COULD YOU TURN LOKI’S ROOM INTO YOUR MINI HEROIN BAR!?” I yelled, throwing the packet onto his face.

He looked at me, paled.