J’s POV

“Do you think… that Yong Junhyung is lying?” One of them from the group asked.

“Does his expression look like he was lying? And besides, why lie?” I asked.

“To gain pity?” He asked.

“You’re ing brainless and mean. If you couldn’t think of anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all.” I said.

“J, you’re on his side now?” He asked.

“I’m not on anyone’s side. I just feel that we should not trample over someone’s true words like that.” I said.

“Trample over… Psh~ J, you were the one who started trampling all over him. Who are you to say something so… saint-like now?” He mocked.

“Whatever.” I muttered, walking off.

“What happened between you and Yong Junhyung in that fire huh? When did the both of you become BFFs? Just because he attempted to save you?!” He shouted.

I turned back to glare at him.

“Well, at least he bothered.” I smiled.

“We would have done the same! We just did not realize you weren’t with us!” He yelled.

I laughed out and walked off. What a joke.

I found myself walking towards Yong Junhyung’s room side of the corridor.

“J, you hate him. He’s stupid.” I muttered to myself as I turned away.

“But J, he saved you. No, you saved him. But he cared. He bothered. And he… Ughhhh~!!” I messed up my hair, annoyed with the conversation my head was having.

I was about to turn away when I heard a loud dragging sound coming from his room.

“I’m just curious. I don’t care. I’m not bothered. I’m just… so bloody curious.” I mumbled to myself as I went closer.

I got a shock when I heard him pushed something against the door. For a split moment, I thought he was going to open the door and find me lurking outside his room, but it did not seem like it. It seemed more like he was trying to block the door. Our doors have no locks, but the in-charges here respect our privacy enough to knock until we opened the door for them to enter.

I stood outside his door, listening from the outside as he shifted the furniture here and there. What was he doing? Changing the feng shui of his room or something? Then again, that did not sound like something he would be doing now. J, are you crazy or what?

There was a few minutes of silence, and then I heard the sound of something crashing. Like something dropped. A chair, or something similar.

“Yong Junhyung?” I called out.

“Are you okay? Yong Junhyung?” I asked as I knocked the door.

Silence.

“YONG JUNHYUNG!?” I yelled, banging on the door.

To say he did not worry me would be a big, fat lie. Yong Junhyung have been behaving weirdly ever since the fire. He still seemed okay when I left, but after that night, he seemed depressed. He disappeared for three days, and then when he appeared in that room, he was smiling, but it was a weird kind of smile. The kind of smile that scared me, honestly. The smile that someone would have when he was ready to let everything go, especially his life. And he told us everything, including his deepest secret. His moves were not someone in the sound state of mind would do.

“YAH!!! JUNHYUNG AH!!! JUNHYUNG!!!!!!!!” I shouted as I tried to push the door open.

Fortunately for me, Yong Junhyung is not the smartest guy around. He actually thought that by using a side table and a chair with roller wheels, he would be able to hold the door. A few kicks and pushes and the door was opened.

“Yah, Yong Junhyung, you’re… !!” My eyes widened as I saw his body hanging from the ceiling.

His face was red and he seemed to be choking. He was also struggling slightly. That means he is not dead yet. This stupid man.

“Don’t die. Don’t die. You idiot. You have so much people who love and care for you. What are you thinking!? Have you gone mad!?” I screamed at him as I work on cutting the rope off with the Swiss Army knife I carry around.

I started to panic when his face turned slightly blue and he was not struggling as much as before.  

“JUST BREAK OFF, BLOODY ROPE!!” I yelled as I tried to saw harder.

I let out a sigh of relief when the rope broke. He collapsed onto the floor with a loud thud, face down.

“OH MY GOSH I’M SO SORRY!” I got a shock when I suddenly remembered I forgot to hold him, thus letting him fall flat on his face.

“Yah~ Are you okay? Huh?” I shook him.

I started to worry when he did not move. Did I kill him indirectly when I let him collapse like that?

“Yah~ Wake up~” I poked him.

I turned him over. He was bleeding from both nostrils and tears were flowing all over his cheeks.

“Yah~ Don’t cry. Does it hurt a lot?” I asked as I pressed a few piece of tissue against his nose to stop the bleeding.

He pushed me away and sat up, glaring at me with teary eyes.

“Why did you save me!?” He yelled.

“Ungrateful bastard.” I muttered.

“WHO TOLD YOU TO BE A BUSYBODY!?” He shouted.

“Fine! Kill yourself for all I care!” I threw the ropes into his face.

He said nothing, except cry.

“You don’t really want to die, Yong Junhyung.” I said after a while.

“Who are you to be so sure of what I want to do?” He said coldly.

“Because if you really want to die, you wouldn’t simply just use such light furniture to block the door. It’s either that, or you’re really stupid enough to think that the side table and chairs with ROLLER WHEELS would be able to hold the door.” I said.

He looked at me, as thou guilty.

“Oh my god, you’re really stupid?” I asked.

He said nothing, except looked down, blood still dripping from his nose.

“I think it’s broken.” I said, poking his nose. He hissed in pain.

“Just let me bleed and die.” He mumbled.

“You have so many people who love and care for you despite the mistakes you made. Is this your way of repaying them? By committing suicide?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes at me. He tried to stand up but wobbled.

“Did you crack your skull as well when you fell?” I asked.

“Are you mocking me?” He asked.

“I… whatever.” I muttered as I helped him to sit on the bed.

 “I’ll go get the doctor. Lie down and close your eyes, and don’t do anything stupid, okay?” I said.

“Why are you so caring out of a sudden?” He asked.

“Who says I care?” I asked.

“Your actions. Why did you save me? Shouldn’t you be happy if I died?” He asked.

“If you want to die, don’t do it here. I don’t want to have your ghost lurking around here forever. Like as if facing your human self is not annoying enough.” I said.

He let out a chuckle.

“Don’t you dare do anything stupid.” I warned him before running off to get the doctor.

When I returned with the doctor, he was still lying on the bed, thankfully.

“What the hell happened here?” The in-charge asked.

“I…” Junhyung muttered.

“I punched him.” I said.

Junhyung looked at me, but I avoided his eyes.

“And why did you do that?” The in-charged asked me.

“Do I need a reason to punch him?” I asked.

“You punched him and you called for the doctor?” He asked.

“I didn’t want him to die, that’s why I called the doctor. If he died, I wouldn’t have anyone to bully.” I said.

The in-charge looked like he was about to say something, but did not in the end. He knew I was lying because the red marks on Junhyung’s neck caused by the tightening of the ropes were so damn obvious.

The doctor confirmed that Junhyung broke his nose and had a mild concussion from the fall. He was told that he should let someone know if he continues to be dizzy and nauseous after tonight.

“You’re not leaving?” Junhyung asked after the doctor and in-charge left.

I wanted to leave, but I was afraid he would try to kill himself again.

“Of course I am leaving.” I said, reaching for the doorknob.

“Would you stay?” He asked softly.

“WHY WOULD I STAY!? AM I YOUR WIFE OR YOUR BROTHER OR YOUR FRIEND!? WHY SHOULD I STAY!?” I yelled, but my sat down on the chair. Stupid .

He let out a loud laugh, but shut up when I glared at him.

“You’re right.” He said.

“What?” I asked.

“I don’t really want to die.” He said.

“Then why did you do it?” I asked.

“I miss her. My wife.” He said.

“Why, is she dead?” I asked, then realize how insensitive my question sounded.

“I mean… I…” I tried to explain.

“She’s not dead.” He said.

“Then… Why? Why kill yourself? Do you know how envious I am of your family and friends? I’ll never have such people around me. Why do you want to make them so sad by doing this?” I asked.

“I’m tired. I don’t know how to go on anymore. In the past, Haneul, she was always there for me. She’s my pillar of strength. She supported me. I thought I could do this alone, but I realize I couldn’t. I don’t know.” He said.

“Gosh, you’re not only stupid, but you’re blind too. Alone? You have so many people for you, and you dare say you’re alone? If I were your wife, what’s her name? Haneul, is it? If I were Haneul, I’ll never come back to you. Never in my ing life, NEVER!” I yelled into his face.

He looked at me, his lips trembling as tears spilled.

“You want her to come back to you when you’re like that? You want her to come back to your body? Scratch that, you have the cheek to let her come recognize your body after you did something like that to her? If I were her, I will stab you even if you’re dead.” I said.

“I salute your courage to spill everything out to us, and I would not hide and say I wasn’t worried because I was, when you said those, your expression and all, you just did not look well. But now after hearing the reason why you tried to kill yourself, I wish I hadn’t been a busybody and save you. You should just die. You don’t deserve to live at all. Just die.” I said, glaring at him.

We were silent for a while. All that filled the room was his constant sniffing.

“Have you ever thought of your wife, your kids and your friends? How are they going to react when they received that phone call? You also said that your son drowned, have you ever thought for your wife, would she be able to take it if she receives such a phone call for the second time?” I asked.

“I really miss her. I know I shouldn’t be acting like that. But I…” He choked on his own tears.

“You miss her, but you still have the chance to get her back. If you end your life now, it’s really the end, and not only that, you would end hers too.” I said.

“I didn’t really want to die, actually. That’s why I used such a lousy blockage.” He said.

“Psh~ Don’t lie through your teeth. You’re just stupid. You seriously thought that could hold the door. Come on, admit it.” I said.

He laughed and buried his face in his palms.

“You have a wonderful family and circle of friends. They are expecting you to get better and go back out to join them. Don’t disappoint them further. More importantly, don’t do anything that you would regret. If I didn’t come in, you would be dead even before you knew it, and by then, no amount of ‘I didn’t actually want to die’ could bring you back to life. While you miss your wife, perhaps she is somewhere out there missing you and waiting for you to go tell her that you’re sorry, get down on your knees and beg her for forgiveness, then shower her with branded stuff and whatever nonsense diamonds they like to wear all over their fingers. Girls are like that, aren’t they?” I said.

He smiled and nodded.

“Suicide is really the stupidest way out. No, it’s not even a way out. It’s another dead end. Don’t do it. Don’t even think about it. It’s very hurting to people around you.” I said.

He looked at me, as thou wanting to ask something, but did not in the end.

“Sleep. I’ll just be here.” I said, turning my back to face him.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Better than you.” I said.

“Do you want to share the bed?” He asked.

“AM I GAY WITH YOU!?” I yelled.

He laughed and shook his head. He sat up and gestured me to sit on his bed.

“NO!” I said.

“Come on. I could tell from your eyes that you’re dying to sit here.” He said.

He was right. I was. This chair is so uncomfortable.

“There~ Isn’t it nice to be sitting next to a hallyu star?” He said with overflowing confidence.

I made a puking sound and he laughed.

“Have you ever wondered… what if I did not come in on time?” I asked.

“I’ll die.” He said, as a matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes at him.

“Why were you outside then? Your room is on the other side.” He asked.

“I… I wanted to use the… toilet.” I said, trying to not stutter. Stupid mouth.

“You have a toilet there too.” He said with a hint of mockery.

“CAN’T I USE THIS TOILET!? IS IT YOURS!?” I yelled.

He giggled and shook his head.

“I just thought you hated me.” He said.

“I still hate you. But I don’t want to owe you anything. Now that I’ve saved your life once, we’re quits.” I said.

“Does this mean you’ll go back to bullying me?” He asked.

“Of course! And you better fight back. Do you know how stupid I feel when you don’t give a damn and just let me throw punches and haul insults at you?” I said.

“So my plan succeeded after all.” He laughed.

“What.. what plan?” I asked, confused.

He shrugged his shoulders, but was still laughing.

“AISH! SHUT UP!” I kicked his side as I buried my face into the pillow.

“Thank you for saving me and knocking sense into me, J.” He said.

“How do you know my name!?” I asked, surprised.

“If I were to get killed by you one day, wouldn’t it be very embarrassing if I didn’t even know the name of my killer?” He said.

I cannot decide if Yong Junhyung is stupid or witty. What do I do? But now I feel stupid. WHY AM I EVEN HERE, ON HIS BED, HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH HIM!?

***
When J sat down after saying he would not.

Junhyung: So my plan succeeded after all.

Junhyung: If I were to get killed by you one day, wouldn’t it be very embarrassing if I didn’t even know the name of my killer?

***
Is J too cute for a bully? Hahaha~