You look guiltily at Hoya. “Sure. Uhmm, now?” Hoya nods. “Ne. After you eat, if that’s okay with you. I mean, I’m not disturbing you or anything?” You could not look straight into his eyes. Guilt is taking over your body. You finish eating and stand up, anticipating for Hoya to get up from his seat too. He stands up and offers his hand out to you, but you do not give in. He puts his hand down disappointingly and starts to walk side by side with you.

“What do you want to talk about?” You ask him frankly, trying hard not to cry. You know you missed hanging out with him, you cannot deny it. He still has your heart, and that will never change. You are hurt, but you continue to love him even if the two of you do not talk that much anymore and do not really know the status between the two of you.

Hoya replies to your question. “I want to apologize first. I know I already said sorry a hundred times, but I know you have not forgiven me yet. I want to clear up the messy things that ruined our relationship.” Hoya sniffs. He tries to stay strong and keep his emotions to himself. Hoya did not want you to see him cry.

“I have already forgiven you since the first time you asked for apology. Don’t think about it anymore, it’s all good now.” Your voice cracks when you talk. It is pretty obvious that you are already close to crying and bursting your tears out infront of him. You wanted to hug him tightly, be in his arms and feel his warmth. But you stop yourself from doing so, you do not want to leave having yourself still attached to him. You wanted to be free, that’s why you asked for a withdrawal. But this moment with Hoya is making you have second thoughts on leaving.

Hoya holds onto your shoulders and looks sincerely into your eyes. “Do you still love me?”  He hopes you would answer him yes. Your eyes become watery. This was it, the moment of truth for the two of you. It is the right time to patch things up. “Yes, I still love you. Always have, always will.” Tears stream down from your eyes down to your reddish cheek. “But…”

Hoya smiled a bit after your response until you said “but.” “But what? A-a-are you leaving me?” He could not prevent his tears from falling down on his face. “Please answer me.” He pulls you in a tight hug. “I love you, I still do. I don’t think I can live without you. Please, please don’t leave me.” He buries his face on your shoulder, crying hard.

“It’s for the two of us. I love you, but I am not happy here anymore. You will be happy with another girl. Go find someone better than me. Someone who will truly and patiently love you.”  You try to pull away from the hug but he tightens it even more.

“She is standing right infront of me.” Hoya murmurs, he sobs. “Please. Let’s work things out again. If I have to wait forever, I will. Please. I want you back.”

“But you never lost me, baby.”

“Then why are you being like this?” Hoya pulls away. He cups your face and wipes your tears with his thumb. “Hmm? Why?” He caresses your face.

“Because I am leaving Korea soon.”