I was laying in bed wide awake. I turned to the side and saw the morning sun hit his face softly. 

There was no more turning back from this... I have hurt him too much. His eyes looked broken and sad. Never did I expect to make such an impact on someone’s life. 

Getting out of bed as soft as possible I walked to close the curtain. Making the room pitch black. 

I looked at him and moved his hair away from his eyes. His hair was long and messy. (Totally referring to Jungkooks long hair period in September/October 2019) 

He didn’t notice what I did to him at all. I leaned to him and kissed him in the forehead and got out his place. 

I reached my hotel room and sat down on the working desk. I couldn’t lie down. All I could do was sit stiffly. I wanted to think about what was happening but my mind was not able to be still. It was running wild and I could not focus on a single thing. 

I decided to take a hot bath, calming my muscles and nerves. And what is ever left of it. 

Why cant it be like in dramas. Where everything just happens according to a nice story line with happy ending? 

My phone vibrated and I reached out.

The caller ID surprised me.

”hello Sejin” I replied softly still laying in the bathtub. My realxastion just went down the drain.

” I heard you are in Korea” he sounded enthusiastically and I was surprised on how fast news travel in this small peninsula.

” Yes, I am” I replied and finally I didn’t lie.

” Could you come by big hit, Mr. bang would like to see ou and you can help with Jungkooks surprise party” 

“what time?” I replied and asked. 

“ you can come any time now, before he wakes up is even better” 

“okay” I replied 

I should go... I should be a good girlfriend, fiancé or what ever I am.

i should try harder for him. Just how he tried for me...

I got out of the tub and got dressed in a simple flower too and jeans, paired with black open toe heels. 

I took a cab to the Bighit wen I got a msg from Jungkook. 

“Where are you”

”went to change clothes, see you for dinner??” I lied again but also not to ruin the surprise 

“ okay, I love you” he repl