[ Mayling Prologue ]

We spent a few days in Jeju in a resort. Quietly, we enjoyed each others company. We just needed to be there for each other. 

This pain will heal slowly.

We released her ashes into the sea. 

I am sorry that this is how she got to see Korea. 

I am sorry I didn't care more.

It was so cold and the cold wind from the ocean was flowing in my face. It was so cold my skin hurt.

I headed inside with my dad.

" What now?" I asked him because now there was nothing left of her. Just her memories.

" We need to keeping going with our lives," he said and it sounded could for a moment. But he was right. What was the point to grief forever?  

We headed to Seoul and my dad was staying with me for a few days. 

I wasn't ready to go to work yet.  

I wasn't ready to pretend that I am okay.

Days later my dad left and it was 7 AM in the morning. I was hesitating to go to work.

But I can't hide the fact forever.

I got up and got dressed. Wearing a black blouse and trousers. My favorite pair of black heels. 

This pair of heels was always the classic heels she would wear. I copied her look as soon as entered university and even before that I would steal them to go out partying some times. Black pumps with red soles this will always remind me of her. 

I tear fell from my cheek. Good memories will live on.

Reaching office, I got a lot of looks from my collugeas. I was gone for a month.

 I walked to Sejins office.

" I am back," I said while knocking on the door.

" Everything fine?" he asked me and for some reason, I couldn't pretend to be fine.

" Yes" I said as a tear fell down. I was trying so hard to keep it in.

He got up and hugged me.

" It's gonna be okay," he said and this was the first time he genuinely cared about me. 

I hugged him back. 

I just needed a shoulder to cry on.

I have been holding my tears back for so long.

" Can you please not tell anyone?" I asked him and he agreed.

I walked out the room wiping my tears. As I was walking back to my room I passed the boys. Jungkook looked at me.

I couldn't tell if it was a worried look or curious.

I got back to my room and Deaa came in.

" Hey I heard you are back, Is everything okay?" She said.

" I was just spending time with my family," I said and smiled at her. 

" That is nice. I am letting you know that we are going to have a US tour" she asked me.

" I don't have to go right," I said trying to laugh

" I guess unless you want to"

" How long is it?" 

" 3 weeks" 

" I see"

" Okay, I got to get going. Nice to hav