[ Mayling Prologue ]

Taking the last look at the setting sun that was slowing being swallowed by the ocean. I headed back to the hotel and stayed in my room for the night. I needed to have that peace in silence for a while. Sometimes all this noise just giving me a headache. So bad until the point I can not breathe and just feel like screaming. You might think that is overdramatic or strange but one day you will experience it. When everything is overflowing and you feel so lost. You feel like everything you do just makes the situation worse. As if someone is scratching open a wound as soon as it dried, making it worse and worse. I most likely scratched my own wound.

I can blame no one else for this mess other than me.

After all, I didn't throw the ring into the ocean as I had planned for the past months. Because I didn't have the balls. I wanted to return it to him but he told me that it was meant for me and it would be in since to give to anyone else. He is somewhat right about that. Or was there some hidden message behind that? I don't know. But I would love to find out. A peart deep in my heart is still dreaming that I would go to work and run to him and be able to hug him. That we are fine. That we are happy. That we can work things out no matter what they are.

Other than losing him. Deea and I grew apart slightly. Most likely she is just as disappointed in me as I am in myself. But enough of the self-pity. Only s pity themselves. I wouldn't deny not being one.

However, I am glad I walked away from Jungkook before it was too late. Or at least that's what I am telling myself over and over again. I know I have hurt him and it's not a lie when I say that it was unintentional. It was just not well thought out. 

Over time we learn not to be so selfish. We learn that in order to get along we need to compromise. 

It was a sleepless night for me and I was wondering what the hell I am doing in Malta, why was I trying to purposely hurt myself by bringing up the past memories? But sometimes placed 

I found myself on a plane to London. You might wonder why. Or some of you might remember. 

I went to Uni there and I am half British.

I put on some trainers and he