Kuroi yawns as she walk down the stairs and head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast when she heard the doorbell. She walked towards the door and peep out to see Sehun standing at the door. She sighs. Seems like the word “give up” doesn’t exist in Sehun’s dictionary. She turn around and head up the stairs and into Mina’s room. She knocked and entered and see that she is sitting at one corner in the room hugging her legs tightly to herself and it seems like she is zoning out.

 

Kuroi saw the scene in front of her and sigh and that sight broke her heart and she walk gently towards her and said, “Mina. Sehun oppa is outside right now.”

 

That simple sentence is enough to snap Mina back to reality and she looked extremely afraid and terrified. Mina clutched on tightly to Kuroi and begged her, saying, “Please don’t please i beg you do not open the door for him. Please!!”

 

Seeing how she is behaving, Kuroi immediately pat her gently on the head and comfort her saying, “I won’t I won’t. So don’t worry okay. Calm down.” After hearing her assurance, Mina then start to calm down a little but then Kuroi cannot help herself but to press on a little further asking, “But you sure you don’t want to see him just a little?? I mean to clear the air and stuff??”

 

“NO!! Please eonni I really don’t want to see him for now please. Just give me some time.  I need some time alone, I need to think this through. Please eonni.” With that she looked away from her eonni.

 

“Mina…” Kuroi whispered softly, wanting to attempt to change her mind but Mina just ignored her even further. Kuroi sigh. She knew how stubborn Mina is and it is not easy changing her mind like that. She sigh once again and left the room with one last look at Mina.

 

“How is she??” Vannie asked when she and Sooin saw Kuroi exit from Mina’s room.

 

Kuroi sigh and shake her head and immediately they know how Mina is behaving. They know they cannot do anything but to let Mina have her own space to think about this because the more they provoke her, the worst the situation will get and it will end up getting more innocent people hurt. Sooin and Vannie pat Kuroi comfortingly on the back.

 

Kuroi gave them a weak smile before asking, “So how is Sehun oppa??”

 

“As persistent as yesterday night but then it suddenly went quiet so I guess he have left or something…” Sooin said.

 

“I see… For now there is nothing we can do. Let’s just go down and have some breakfast then.” With that they went down to the kitchen together.

 

Sehun had came to Mina’s house feeling really confident that he will be able to talk to Mina today, as he thought that after a night of letting her calm down and stuff, maybe she will want to know what it truly happen and listen out to his explanation but who knows it is just like yesterday where no matter how many times he knock on the door or press the doorbell, there just seem as if nobody's there to answer the door for him. As he continue to knock on the door, he feels his confidence slowly drops and the hope of seeing her is just decreasing and he slowly start to feel sad again.

 

“Mina please just let me see you for once please.”

 

But then as he watch the time slowly go by and it is time for him to go for his schedule, he sigh and a drop of tear threaten to fall down but then he knows he have to be strong and hold on to that little hope that Mina might change her mind and therefore this is not the time to give up yet. He gave one last look at the house before leaving but with a determined mind that he will be back to find her once again and he won’t stop doing it until Mina give him the chance to explain himself.

 

After breakfast, Kuroi went in to check on her but then she is just in her world and she tried to urge Mina to try eat something but she just kept on refusing her, saying that she have no appetite and it seems that nothing can convince her so Kuroi sigh and left the room.

 

Sehun entered the company just in time for the meeting and Suho welcome him into the room warmly and he wanted to ask about things when he sees the face that Sehun have on his face shows that maybe things didn’t go well and so he did not ask anything more and just smiled and continue to pat him comfortingly on the back while waiting for the meeting to officially start. Just then Jiyah entered the room and settle herself down before announcing that, “We have already set the comeback date for your next album and therefore things are going to start getting busy from now on.”

 

That sentence caused Sehun’s heart to sank because that means all of his time will have to be spent on practicing and preparing for comeback so that means lesser time to find Mina to explain things to her. He want to protest but he know that it is practically impossible because it is a direct order from the top management in the company and therefore it is unavoidable. He sigh. This cannot come at a better timing. It seems that everything is against him lately but that doesn’t mean that he will just give up just like that. He will accept all obstacles in his way and he will make sure to find time and make time to find Mina to explain things to her.

 

“Here are the schedules from now on so I hope you guys will work hard on it!! I have high expectations on you all so don’t let me down.” Jiyah said while passing down the schedules and one look at it, there is only one word to describe the schedules which is hectic. Sehun sigh once again. Suho is actually watching him from one side, watching his reaction to this, very scared that he will flare up or do something stupid or say something stupid to the management team, or to Jiyah but somehow Sehun did not say anything and just quietly accept everything and that make Suho let out a sigh of relief and think that his maknae have really grown up.

 

After confirming some things here and there, the meeting ended and they are off to their schedules and also to the start of that hectic schedules.

 

For the next few days, things did not change for Mina, where she continued to lock herself up in the room, refusing to eat much and she barely slept and just stay at the corner in her room, her eonnis do not know what she is thinking. Her eonnis keep trying to get her to eat or even talk but she just doesn’t want to and it is kind of driving them crazy and angry. She also did not go to school, never leave the house and just keep on staying in that confinement of the room.

 

Sehun on the other hand had been really busy with his schedules that he barely have time for himself and have some rest and sometimes by the time he is free, it is already midnight and it would be too late to go meet her and so he would purposely drive by her house and just watch the house from outside for a while before going back home. Most of the time he will try his luck in the morning but then it always did not end up well but he is not giving up and he will continue to do that until Mina give him a chance to explain himself to her.

 

A few days have passed and one morning, Kuroi just cannot take it anymore. She just cannot take how Mina is just shutting everyone out and refusing to talk to anyone and worst of all not taking care of herself and eating. It all started out as a normal day when Kuroi heard the banging again and she immediately know who it is and somehow for that day, she cannot take all the banging anymore, the banging that disturb everyone’s morning and but then more so on the fact that they really need to talk but then Mina is just being stubborn and therefore she stomps angrily into her room and saw her at the corner as usual and that make her anger boil even more.

 

She stomp angrily up to Mina and roughly pulled Mina up. Mina looked up at her in shocked and before she can asked anything, she is being forcefully dragged out of her room. “Eonni what are you doing?? Let me go!! You are hurting me!!”

 

“I won’t let you go unless you talk to Sehun now!! I cannot stand the banging he did every morning just to look for you and how you just keep on mopping over him and not listening to what he have to say and worst of all not taking care of yourself!! I can’t you have to talk to him right now!!  Everything will be solved when you both talk so you have to do that now!!”

 

“No eonni!! You know how I cannot bring myself to see him please!!”

 

“I don’t care if you can bring yourself to see him or not!! You have to talk to him no matter what!! Today!!”

 

The two other eonnis jump up in shock as they watch the scene unfold in front of them. Kuroi have never been hard on Mina no matter what she do but this is the time it seems that Kuroi just cannot stand her doing that anymore and it seems she cannot keep her emotions under control anymore and therefore the flare up today. They know it has been really hard on Kuroi because she is the one that constantly try to make Mina talk and eat and it is difficult to always get a no from her and that accumulation have let her to flare up big time today. There is a saying that goes a person that normally doesn’t flare up, when they really flare up, that is when they are the scariest. All of them have never seen Kuroi so angry before and they are all shock including Mina.

 

But Mina is not bent on following orders because no matter how hard she tried to prepare and ready her heart in order to meet up with Sehun and give him a chance and to listen to his explanation but then she just can’t do it and she tried to erase the images in her mind about Sehun and Tae In but she just can’t. Nothing she does is working and therefore she is not ready yet. She panic and in panic, she roughly and hardly shake off Kuroi’s hand that is holding on to her wrist and dragging her forward.

 

“I can’t!! I can’t do it!!”

 

“What do you mean by you can’t do it??!! You are just avoiding everything!! This is just an excuse!!”

 

With all the shouting and all the banging, it is driving Mina nuts and all the emotions that have been hidden in her heart erupt from deep within her and caused her to shout at everyone. “PLEASE STOP FORCING ME PLEASE!! I HAVE ENOUGH!! I AM TIRED!! REALLY TIRED!! I AM TIRED OF EVERYTHING!! I AM TIRED OF HAVING TO RUN AWAY FROM BULLIES EVERYDAY IN MY LIFE, TO BE BULLIED, TO BE SLAP ON THE FACE, TO SEE THINGS THAT I DON’T WANT TO SEE, DO THE THINGS THAT I DON’T WANT TO DO AND TO  GET MYSELF FULL OF INJURIES EVERYDAY!! I HAVE ENOUGH AND I AM NOT READY TO MEET HIM YET. I TRIED I REALLY TRIED THROUGHOUT THE PAST FEW DAYS WHEN I AM ALONE IN MY ROOM. I TRIED TO. I TRIED TO READY MYSELF, PREPARE MY HEART FOR IT, TO MEET HIM AND TALK THIS THROUGH BUT THEN WHENEVER I TRIED, I WILL SEE THE IMAGES OF HIM KISSING ANOTHER GIRL CLEARLY  IN MY MIND AND I CANNOT STOP MYSELF AND MY HEART FROM ACHING FROM THE PAIN. I REALLY TRIED.”

 

This outburst caused all her eonnis to stop in her tracks and just stare at her. From her outburst, they can tell how much she is going through this few days and had not told them about it and the things that she have to go through that no one will ever understand unless they go through it themselves. The outburst comes with an overflowing amount of emotions that Mina cannot control and she just broke down and cried out loud. At the same time she also felt bad for shouting at her eonnis because she did not mean it at all as sometimes when she is at the edge of bursting out, she cannot control herself and she felt bad.

 

After a while of crying, Mina softly said, “I am sorry eonnis. I didn’t mean to but please. For once please respect my decision. Just give me some more time to prepare myself. I am really really tired, I really just want to run away from everything and just abandon everything because everything here is suffocating me, making me unable to breathe and I just feel like dying so please eonnis stop forcing me… plea…” Before Mina can finish her sentence, suddenly her visions suddenly start to become blur and everything seems to be spinning and she starts to blink and she can feel that she cannot stand properly. Her eonnis notice that and start to move closer to her and without warning, there is a suddenly blackout and Mina collapsed onto the floor.

 

Her eonnis rushed towards her and Kuroi helped Mina up, shaking her and calling frantically her name but there is no answer. “There is still heartbeat so I think she just fainted over. I am just going to call the doctor in. You guys don’t leave her.” Sooin said and quickly went away to grab the phone to call the doctor in to look at Mina.

 

“What did we do?? I shouldn’t have push her so hard… I thought she was just escaping from everything but I… I didn’t know that she is having such a hard time… I feel so bad…” Kuroi said.

 

“It is not your fault… We also didn’t know so don’t blame yourself. Let’s just get her back to her room first.” Vannie said and with that they help her back into her room.

 

“She is just tired and stress and she haven't been taking plenty of rests and eating much and therefore she fainted. After a rest she will be fine. Don’t worry about it. It is nothing much. Just make sure she take care of herself from now on.” The doctor said, after checking on Mina.

 

“Thank you so much doctor.” With that they all send the doctor out before going back to accompany Mina. They let out a sigh of relief when they heard the doctor says  They just sit there watching her, waiting for her to wake up, not saying a thing and after a while, Mina slowly open her eyes and see that she is in her room. She remembered flaring up at everyone and then suddenly there is a blackout and when she woke up she is in her room. “Wha… what happened??” Mina asked as she struggled to get up from the bed. Seeing her do that, her eonnis rush over to help her up.

 

“You suddenly fainted on us halfway through when you are speaking and we got so worried so we called the doctor in and he said you are too stress and haven’t eat well that is why you fainted. He said you need to take care of yourself more from now on.” Sooin said.

 

“I am so sorry for worrying you so much today.” Mina said.

 

“So long as you are okay. It is nothing.” Vannie said.

 

They fall silent for a while with Mina still feeling really awkward for flaring up at her eonnis just now and she is trying to think of something, a way to apologise to her eonnis when suddenly Kuroi said in a serious way, “Do you really mean what you said just now??”

 

“I am sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Just before Mina can even finish her sentence, Kuroi cut her off and said sternly, “Answer my question Mina. Do you really mean what you say just now when you say you just want to leave everything behind and just run away??”

 

Mina looked around for a while, seeing the look on her eonnis face, she sigh. “Yeah i meant what I said. I really want to leave this place. I want to forget the things that make me sad here, by leaving this place and starting anew and when the time is right, I will be back again.”

 

Kuroi looked around at the rest of the 2 eonnis before suddenly making up her mind and said, “If that is what you want to do, then go for it. I will support you.”

 

“Kuroi eonni!! How can you say something like this??” Vannie immediately retaliated when she heard that. She cannot just let Mina leave like that. Not when she never patch up with Sehun or anything. This is just wrong even though she might be sad and all.

 

“Kuroi eonni!! Are you crazy?? You cannot allow this to happen!!” Sooin retaliated too.

 

“Kuroi… eonni…” Mina mumbled as she cannot believe what Kuroi had just said. This is just impossible and it just sounds so out of the world.

 

“I also don’t want to do this also but then think about it!! Mina… Mina she is hurting, I am sure everyone of us can tell very clearly and it hurts us all and I don’t want that to continue on and let it eat us out from inside out. We need time and there is no better time than now so just leave Mina just leave.” Kuroi said slightly agitated.

 

“Kuroi eonni…” Mina is so shocked that Kuroi is so understanding, understanding what she is going through and is willing to let her be selfish and run away from all this mess, letting her have a chance to recover from all this. Without warning her tears slowly fall down from her tears and Kuroi looked at her and said, “Pabo why are you crying?? There is no reason to cry...”

 

“I am just so sorry for everything… I didn’t mean for things to go like this… I am so sorry but I am so thankful… thankful to you all for being so understanding towards me… I am really sorry…”

 

“There isn’t anything to apologise about… You are our baby maknae and we won’t want to see you continue to be hurt like that and continue to shut us out like that and if the escape is all you need to get the old Mina that we know back, then I am willing to let you do that. I am selfish but then I just want our makane back again.”

 

“Kuroi eonni…” and Mina reach out to hug Kuroi and cry it out on her and Kuroi pat her comfortingly on her back. “Just let it all out. Just cry it all out until you feel better.” Kuroi said. Seeing how they are, Sooin and Vannie also can’t help it and their tears also slowly flow and they reach ahead and hug Kuroi and Mina and they cry together, crying out all the stress and all the unspoken emotions that they had all bottled up throughout this time that they are together.

 

After a while they finally break apart, they helped each other to wipe their tears and they laughed at each other as to how ridiculous they all are.

 

“Okay enough crying for all of us. Let’s all stay strong and continue on stronger than before!! I know we can do it so long as we are together!! We can do this!!” Kuroi said and they all nodded their head happily and they give one loud cheer before laughing happily again.

 

Mina felt better after letting everything out and she is forever grateful for having such friends around. Friends that she will never ever let go for life.

 

---

ho ho ho~~ I am back with a special update on this special day for EXO 4th anniversary!! I cannot believe how far EXO have come and also how far we have come as fans of EXO~~ to fans without a name to now that we are name, it is all very precious memories to me~~ I still remember how I entered the EXO fandom thanks to my friend continuous promotions of them and also forcing me to watch weekly idol with her and forcing me to choose someone to root for in EXO and that is when all the magic happens~~ Even though we have come through many ups and downs but I have never regret one day that I was in this fandom~~ I see my bias from the start leave the group and I was really depressed but then I still stayed on when I thought I couldn't and that is when I realised how much I love EXO for who they are~~ I was in too deep to even get out of it and I don't know if that is a good thing or not hahaha~~ EXO make me really happy no matter what they are doing~~ They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me get diabeties from all their sweetness and making me so proud with all their achievements and how hard working they are and most importantly their passion in this~~ I am proud of them and forever will be~~ Thank you EXO for everything that you have done for me be it the music, your presonalities and your sweetness~~ Thank you and I am so glad that you are always there to provide me an escape from reality and be my safe heaven~~ On this special day, I hpoe each and everyone of you have enjoyed your day and enjoyed yourself and from today on, I wish for all of you to stay healthy and take care of yourself and have plenty of rests. I hope through this year, you guys will also get to enjoy and do the things that you love, be it acting, having fun with friends and more~~ Stay cheerful and continue to be yourself~~ Continue to be my adorable dorks and enjoy the little things in life~~ Thank you for everything and no words can truly describe how much i love you guys~~ I hope there are many more anniversaries to come, maybe up to 1000 anniversaries and also no matter what happens in the future, I hope both EXO and EXO-L do not forget that we have one another and will be there for one another till the end~~ No matter happiness or sadness I am sure we can go through it together because we are strong and nothing can pull us down~~ All the best in everything you do both EXO and EXO-L and I will always be cheering for you!! Good luck and EXO saranghaja!! We are one and will 4ever be one!! to9ether 4ever~~ 

Double update this week so stay tune to it!! Sorry for the long message above hehehehe!! Thanks everyone for your continous support and i cannot express my happiness for it!! Thank you and enjoy reading!! :))))