"I'm engaged" 

"We know, Baekhyun told us"

"I feel absolutely horrible"

"You also look like it" Kyungsoo points out over lunch. The gang had gathered after Baekhyun's insistence of talking Jongdae's problem out. Minseok, fortunately, doesn't have school that day for unknown reasons, that he can't really point out. "You look absolutely horrible" Kyungsoo repeats, absorbing the tired look of Jongdae who was wearing an all black outfit. Jongdae had never liked black always preferring bright colors like pink and Minseok wonders if Jongdae rampaged Kyungsoo's closet.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Kyungsoo" Jongdae glares at the male. Kyungsoo grins sheepishly before taking a huge sip from his diet coke. Baekhyun stays by Kyungsoo's side, with his laptop typing away. "By the way Baekhyun, what are you doing?"

"Stuffs" Baekhyun waves off with a mysterious smile. Baekhyun had been quite calm for the past twenty four hours after the announcement that it worries Jongdae to some extent. 

Baekhyun and Jongdae had been friends four days after Jongdae had kicked Yixing in the groin. It was a funny encounter to say the least especially when Baekhyun decided to make Jongdae his Hapkido training partner. Jongdae had bruises from endless hours of getting kicked in the by Baekhyun. Jongdae no matter how much he gets beaten up he never gets mad at Baekhyun, he most often attacks Yixing in frustration though after each Hapkido session. 

"But I didn't do anything" Yixing whines to Jongdae who kicks him hard on the for being there at the wrong time.

"Well Baekhyun did" Jongdae says at his self-proclaimed bestfriend, "and as my bestfriend you're submitted to a life long contract of being my shock absorber" Yixing hits Jongdae in the gut for being insensitive.

"What kind of stuffs actually?" Kyungsoo leans closer to Baekhyun and reads the words written on the top corner of the screen, "Jongdae's Craving List: A Survival Guide"

"Survival Guide?" Minseok stares at Baekhyun, twirling the spaghetti on his fork absentmindedly. Jongdae looks absolutely scandalized at the announcement, "what do you need a survival guide for?"

"Well" Baekhyun starts closing his laptop, "I just thought since Jongdae is now pregnant and he was an insufferable sadistic bastard before, that I needed to be prepared for the apocalypse"

"I'am not insensitive nor sadistic" Jongdae points a spoon at Baekhyun, "I just have a really bad temper and an ignorant attitude"

"Same thing" Baekhyun smiles sweetly. Too sweetly for Jongdae's liking that the male snarls at him with malice and hatred. "See, I told you he's a prick" Baekhyun makes a point by gesturing to Jongdae's whole being. Jongdae decides that it's best to bite off Baekhyun's arm until it bleeds. Baekhyun yelps in pain.

"More like a violent cat with rabies" Minseok and Kyungsoo snickers at their own joke before dodging a fork aimed at their heads. Jongdae glares at the two males under the table before grabbing Baekhyun's laptop. Opening the laptop, Jongdae is surprised to see numbers of different notes and schedules for Jongdae's everyday life for 7 and a half months. Baekhyun flails to get his laptop, being held by a foot. 

"Make sure to give Jongdae two boxes of soymilk for breakfast. No soymilk equals to a whiny and cranky Jongdae, implies from Monday to Friday" Minseok reads, claiming Jongdae's left side. 

Kyungsoo clambers on top of Minseok squinting his eyes into small slits, "Jongdae is not allowed around sugar. Jongdae craves for applesauce every Thursday" Kyungsoo judges Jongdae from his position to only get a mouthful of bread in his mouth when he decided to open it. 

"Jongdae is only allowed to eat pickled fish every Sunday" Jongdae widens his eyes at the written words. "Baby Zhang rejects pickled fish from Wednesday to Friday. The other remaining days are Jongdae being cranky for being pickled fish deprived." Baekhyun breaks free from the foot and grabs the laptop away from his friends sight. Kyungsoo and Minseok looks generally confused while Jongdae questions Baekhyun's observation with his eyes. 

"What?" Baekhyun cradles his laptop on his chest.

"Do you stalk Jongdae on a daily basis Baekhyun" Minseok states without blinking and Baekhyun blushes.

"No!" Baekhyun insists, "I just happen to observe his every movement as his secretary"

"We've just learned he was pregnant yesterday" Kyungsoo settles on the seat beside Minseok. "How did you learn or observe all of that"

"Jongdae's a control freak by nature" Baekhyun dusts himself off, siping on his drink with an unreadable expression. "He has this laid out schedules that his brain follows automatically. All the things he do every week is repetitive, you have to be by his side twenty four seven to actually observe it happening"

"So, let me get this straight, you observe Jongdae everyday"

"No, I'm too busy for that" Baekhyun remarks, eyes focusing on his laptop. "I simply hire a stalker to follow his every move"

The table goes silent at the announcement and Baekhyun looks up from his laptop. Baekhyun raises a brow at each of his friend's gaping faces. Baekhyun doesn't find anything bad with his actions but the others do. Sure Baekhyun fights with Jongdae on a daily basis, but he is concerned enough to hire reliable people to gain information about Jongdae though not at a level that matches sasaeng fans. "You are creepy" Minseok punctuates very word and the other nods. 

"Whatever" Baekhyun rolls his eyes, "I'm just concerned that's all"

"When did this begin"

"I don't know, the day you started craving pickled fish"

"That was like a month ago" his companions exclaimed.

"January 30, to be exact" Baekhyun mused and the others looked thoroughly scandalized.

Jongdae blinks dumbly at his bestfriend, "you know what I don't really care. Carry on with your weirdness Baekhyun" Baekhyun seems to think for awhile before winking languidly at Jongdae. Jongdae looks disgusted at the male but doesn't say anything. 

"I just have this weird thought" Kyungsoo proclaims on the table after a moment of silence. Three head snaps to look at him and Kyungsoo tries to blend with his seat. He never really likes attention even by his own friends, especially when their looking at him with anticipation and hunger (for knowledge) in Baekhyun's case. "Wouldn't Jongdae's baby bump grow in size?"

"Uh, obviously" Baekhyun helpfully supplied with a roll in the eyes, "haven't you seen your mom pregnant before, Kyungsoo?"

"I'm the youngest" Kyungsoo blinks and Baekhyun blinks back, "have you, Baekhyun?"

"I'm also the youngest" Baekhyun points at himself. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun doesn't say a word at each other, just resorting to blinking their eyes out.

Minseok and Jongdae share a look of confusion before the former held out a hand to whack each male in the head. He earns happiness by pain, "god, you two are stupid." The two males whine at the older, "but please proceed, Kyungsoo"

"You didn't have to hit me" Kyungsoo rubs his head, Minseok smiles. "But anyway, I thought that if Jongdae is going to have a baby. Wouldn't he be like taken care of? Like be healthy to have a normal delivery"

"Jongdae won't have a normal delivery" Minseok states, "he'll undergo a Caesarian section but you do have a point"

"Caesarian section?" Jongdae stares at the elder blankly. Trying to process the information, "Like cutting my stomach in half to get the baby?" Minseok nods and Jongdae pales. "I think I'm gonna vomit"

"No uh uh, you aren't" Minseok grabs the fleeing male, wagging his finger from left to right. "You just had lunch and according to Baekhyun's survival guide" he grabs the laptop away from Baekhyun, who mutters a small hey. "Jongdae is not allowed to puke or dispel food from his stomach after lunch since he gets quiet in the afternoon and cranky in the evening"

"I'm nearing my third month. I'm bound to puke my off" Jongdae scowls, getting back on his seat. 

"Not twice in one day" Minseok helpfully states, "and for your information a Caesarian section is not that scary. Disgusting maybe but not scary"

"It's much more painful though" 

"It's better than having a baby pooping out your " Minseok deadpans and the other occupants of the room shudder at the mental image. 

"That is so gross!!"

"I'm scarred for life, Minseok"

"What the actual f was that" 

"Reality" Minseok grins, sipping on his tea calmly. Not even bothered by his declamation. "Anyway, Kyungsoo does have a point. Jongdae as much as I like to congratulate you at this point of your life, having a marriage to worry about would take toll in your health"

"Not to mention that you have a whole company to operate" Kyungsoo continues, head resting on his hands, eyes open wide in wonder. "Stress is bad for the baby's health"

"It's not like I wanted a baby in the first place" Jongdae groans in his hands. Baekhyun looks up from his laptop, raising a brow before continuing in his work. Baekhyun had neglected his drink at the corner, ice slowly melting and messing with the concentration and sweetness of it. "This is just a nightmare I wish to wake up in."

"No this isn't a nightmare" Minseok disagrees just when a waiter comes to hand the check of their heavy breakfast or is it lunch, no one seems to know. "This is the consequence of receiving weird magic water from strangers"

"Don't rub it in" Jongdae sighs, ruffling his hair, paying for the meal with his cousin's stolen black credit card. Baekhyun closes his laptop and grins happily at males who he calls as friends. "You look awfully contented with your life. Finally ended your book"

"Not quite" Baekhyun smiles his most mischievous yet charming smile that Kyungsoo wants to offer to satan. Baekhyun takes a sip from his bland and watery soda without a care, staring into Jongdae's soul. "I probably will win the best bestfriend in the world with my news today"

"Please tell me you're moving to another planet" Kyungsoo chimed in, "I'll finally have a raise in my salary"

"Not a chance in hell, peasant" Baekhyun stuck a tongue out.

"A man can dream can't he" Kyungsoo murmurs to himself. 

Baekhyun ignores him but instead bellowed "I got you a nine month leave, Jongdae! Isn't that great!" Baekhyun expected a lot of things from Jongdae after his announcement. A hug maybe or a promotion. He expects a lot just not getting banned from his favorite restaurant for a good three months because Jongdae decided that it was okay to strangle Baekhyun on the table while Minseok and Kyungsoo tries to hold the enraged male down.

"Who did you ask to take my place, bacon" Jongdae flails of Minseok's arm. Kyungsoo manages to dodge the incoming hand by a second, "it's Jonghyun, isn't it?"

"No" Baekhyun waves a hand. Face wearing the look of being violated by his civil rights, "I'm not that dumb Jongdae"

Jonghyun was Jongdae public enemy number one. Everyone who have known Jongdae knows about his hidden vendetta against his step brother. Jonghyun was most often compared to Jongdae and normally Jongdae would ignore his brother until it decided to flirt with LiYin.

LiYin had only visited the Kim mansion twice in her whole relationship. First time, when he was sick from flu and no one was their to take care of him (Baekhyun had a doctor's appointment). The second time, when he decided that it was safe for LiYin to meet his foster parents. Jonghyun was behave at first since their parents where there until they had their backs turned. Jonghyun would sit closer to LiYin much to Jongdae's displeasure and sometimes tried to feed her his ice cream. LiYin being the nice lady she was accepted all the advances with a kind heart. Jongdae really didn't snap until Jonghyun tried to kiss LiYin while he went to get her something to drink. Jongdae would have killed his brother if LiYin wasn't there to tell him off. Jongdae glared at his brother before leaving the other alone.

LiYin to this day doesn't know about the multiple poison Jongdae keeps in his cabinet to use against his own brother. Baekhyun still wonders, where the poison came from though he had suspicions that Kyungsoo was the one supplying Jongdae. Kyungsoo had a knack for the dead and dark rituals that Baekhyun wouldn't even be surprise if his theories were correct.

"Then, who did you get?" 

"Ryeowook-hyung!" He smiled and Jongdae expelled the air out of his lungs. Baekhyun knows Jongdae's soft spot for the elder boy. "Also before I forget, you're leave is operational on the 3rd of March. Two days after Justin Bieber's birthday"