An Explanation for.....

All right, we all know, and hell, even I know more than enough, that this explanation is something that you all deserve, and something that was way prolonged due to various reasons.  So, if you've made it this far, I congratulate you.  To sum it up, this "chapter" explanation is for the those of you who have been waiting, for those of you who have just discovered the story, and just arrived at this chapter, for those who are probably more than irritated with the rate at which I am posting things, and finally, for those who have stayed with me from the very beginning (of which are very few, I'm sure). If I missed you, then don't worry, this is for you as well.

Yes, I've posted in the story feed a couple of times before this, and most of what I was saying was true.  Yes, my internet was out, and I was forced to take a break from AFF, which didn't help after the site unfortunately ran into some problems.  Thank Jason for making things run smoothly again.  My hat is off to him, seriously.  Anyway, I also mentioned that I was working on the story, and thinking of how to end it. That is partly true.  Yes, I was thinking of how to end it, but no writing was actually happening.  There are various reasons behind this.

One, I was in a major writers block.  I jumped head first into a story that I didn't have a plan of where it was going to end up.  The details were vague, but all I knew was that when I first started, I just wanted to write down what came to my mind.  And write I did.  The story was actually going to be a lot shorter than it has actually developed to be. After writing all I did, I wondered how I could successfully end a story that I had already started, and found myself stuck. I decided in the middle that I wanted to add some more details and happenings within the short 3 month period.  Of course, in doing so, I didn't realize that I would make the pace of the story become extremely slow. 

Two, as I'm mentioned above, the pace of the story, now I realize, is going way too slow.  It's almost been 60 chapters, yet all the danger and stalking stuff that should have been lurking in the background hasn't been present where it should have been.  The story contains a lot more fluff than actual plot line, and that was what began to irritate me.  I couldn't just go back and fix everything, especially after posting all that I have.  Perhaps if I hadn't jumped the gun and had really worked on developing a reasonable story before posting, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem.  However, since I have already done what I have already done, I was stuck in another problem.  

Third, I began to realize that I didn't have the motivation I previously had to continue with this story.  This coupled with my school life, and the problems I was dealing with myself, didn't help at all, and I found that ignoring the story became much easier.  Even with the continuous subscriber alerts and things, I still couldn't find the motivation to continue the story.  I felt guilty of course, that I was making my subscribers wait, and that my older subscribers were probably only being replaced with newer ones.  Still, I couldn't bring myself to continue the story, or provide a reasonable explanation that would be acceptable with my state of mind then.

So, I decided that I wouldn't worry about that too much.  there were other things that needed my attention. I then discovered some self-improvement books (Yes, I am influenced by Seo Hyun)  and read them.  I began to realize how important motivation was through reading stories of other people.  I knew I had to get my motivation back again, or else I would be stuck in my slump for a really long time.  A slump was not acceptable, especially with my previous mindset about hard work, and the morals I was raised with.  I'm in my last year of high school now, and with college apps and SAT test last chances, and all the things I have to prepare for, a slump was just not going to cut it.  Summer is finally ending, and I think I will find myself out of the slump soon.  Hey, I suppose school is useful for somethings, eh?

Anyway, now that you've read all that stuff above (did you read it all? If so, props to you, really) I am going to say that no, I am not going on a hiatus.  I think that when school starts up again, being able to write on a story and rest my mind from school stuff will be helpful to me.  When is my next update going to be? Well, as you're reading this, I'm actually working on updating the next chapter.  It's quite long, and doesn't really help with the slow pace, but I figured I owe you guys something.  Or, if you're lucky, and you catch it at the right time, I would have already finshed posting up the next chapter, and you won't have to wait at all!

And so, it brings me to the end of this explanation chapter, and something else that is long due: I'm sorry for making you readers (of those who are left, that is) wait.  I know I am a horrible author who shouldn't deserve your support, but for those who have stayed this long, all I can say is I'm sorry for what I've been doing, and thank you so much for being patient with me.  The fact that you are still here, I am so grateful.  For you new subscribers who haven't gotten here yet, I hope you will stay to come to this point, and continue to newer chapters that I will hopefully have up in the near future.  If the story is too slow paced, or becomes boring for you, feel free to abandon it. I don't mind, because even I know it is that to some degree.  On the other hand, if you do still miraclously still enjoy it by this point, I will be eternally indebted to your patience, seriously. Once again, I'm sorry, and thank you.

Well, this really ends the sob story now.  I'm not who I was at the beginning of this, but that's all right.  I'm changed, but better I think. It hasn't changed the way I view you supporters and readers.  I am still grateful and humbled. Now, it's off to post up the long due chapter that I think I promised over a month ago (oops...).  Look forward to it...really, look forward to it...because it's really coming.  Seriously.