Later that night

Krystal’s Pov

Watching her sleep is one of my favorite pastimes. With my head laying on her chest I can’t help but stare at her peaceful face. I don’t get to sleep over at the dorm all that often, but I managed to convince Jessica that I really needed this extra time with her, because I have had trouble getting to sleep lately. Jess reluctantly agreed, only after talking to Amber about keeping her hands to herself. Amber tried really hard to try and stay awake until I fell asleep, but she was exhausted from doing that crossfit workout with her guy friend earlier today. She was very excited to show me the results of all her hard work today, she wouldn’t stop flexing or picking me up almost the entire day, before we went to Henry’s for dinner. She has been going to the gym more since the airport incident, and I know that she uses it to let off steam. I even heard her mutter under her breath one day that “she won’t let it happen again.” Amber’s protective side is a huge part of who she is, and a quality that I came to fall in love with, but it is not my favorite part of her personality. This right here is what I love most about her and our relationship. I am the only one that she is ever this vulnerable with. On the outside she is the lovable goof that can make an entire room laugh, but on the inside she is very guarded about her feelings.There are many people out there that would be able to protect me physically, but I want more than that in someone. Amber is everything I could ever hope to find in someone. She is one of the most caring people I have ever met, and not just to me but everyone. She wasn’t always comfortable with expressing how she felt to me, but overcoming that is how we got closer. It is how we fell in love. Reaching over to brush her bangs off her forehead I can’t help but remember the night we shared our first kiss, it was one of the most emotional nights that we have ever had together.

Flashback

“Hey Am, are you in there?” I asked knocking on the bathroom door lightly.

“Uh, just a second,” I heard her sniffle and try to stop crying.

This wasn’t the first time I had found her crying in the bathroom. Several times during our trainee days this is where I would find her if she was having a bad day or was home sick. She always wanted the other members to view her as a strong person that they could rely on, so she never let them see her cry. She was the second oldest and felt obligated to look out for the younger ones, including me. But ever since I caught her in here the first time, she couldn’t resist having another person to talk to in english. At first I would just sit next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, because she wasn’t ready to open up to me and tell me why she was upset. I knew that it was the ongoing problem of not feeling like she fit in. Not only was she an American trying to make it in a Korean industry, her tomboy style set her apart for criticism even more. I always felt at a loss when I would find her like this, I desperately wanted to help her but didn’t know how. Even since we first met we just clicked and got along. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t attracted to her when I saw her at school that first day. Once I realized that she was a girl I laughed it off as a weird misunderstanding. In my short life I’ve only ever had I few crushes and a few brief kisses, I have never been in a real relationship before. That is why I had no idea how to deal with the feelings that overcame me the first time she held my hand. It happened the day we had our debut stage at Music Bank. Our stylist had dressed as all in similar black outfits and heels, while Amber wore combat boots. In order to get to the stage from the dressing room we had to walk up a flight of stairs. I have danced and wore heels before, but the ones I was wearing that day were particularly high. Half way up the stairs I took a misstep and began to fall backwards. Not a second later I felt someone catch me and stand me back up.

“Are you alright Krys?” Amber asked still holding on to me.

“I think so, it just scared me. I don’t know what happened.”

“You have to be really careful when you are wearing those. Not that I know from personal experience, but I’ve seen a lot of girls fall.”

“Yeah, I’ll try to be more careful.”

“Here take my hand to hold on to the rest of the way up. If you lose your balance at least you can lean on me,” she said holding out her hand.

“Thanks,” I said slipping my hand into hers.

The rest of the way up I started to feel extremely nervous. At first I thought it was because of our debut performance in a few hours, but I quickly realized that my heart rate seemed to quicken every time she gave my hand a light squeeze. The fact that she was so concerned about my well being made me feel unexpectedly happy. Ever since that day Amber offers me her hand or shoulder to lean when walking up or down steps. I have come to expect it and like it more than I should. These feelings I’ve started to have when I’m around her are very confusing to me. They aren’t like anything I’ve felt before, and certainly never for a girl. But I have never met another girl like Amber. She never gives much thought about herself, but she is constantly making sure we have whatever we need. Sulli right from the beginning felt awkward calling her unnie, because Amber just isn’t anything like a typical unnie. Sulli thought it would be just as strange to call her oppa, so they settled on hyung. Amber is playful, attentive, and protective, and a great hyung to Sulli. For me Amber has never been an unnie or oppa and certainly not hyung. We connect on a different level. She has always been Am to me, and I’m Krys to her. Recently, she has started calling me princess and I can’t help but smile every time she does. We tease each other to no end, and I always ask way too much of her, but that is how we are.

“Hey,” I said to her when she finally opened the door.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said to me, her eyes scanning the room behind me.

“That’s ok. We are the only ones here. They all went out to get some dinner,” I told her.

“Oh,” she said relaxing a little.

“Can I join you in there?”

“Uh, if you want. It’s kind of cramped,” she said letting me in.

“I think it’s cozy,” I said once I was inside and she had closed the door. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s just the same old stuff,” she said kicking the sink counter and then sliding down to sit in front of it. “It’s Jackie’s birthday tomorrow. I haven’t seen her in almost seven months. I know that I should be getting used to not seeing them, but I still miss them so much.”

“Hey, you should never feel guilty for missing them. They are your family, of course it is hard to be away from them. It is hard for anyone to be away from their family, especially one as great as yours,” I said sitting down next to her. 

“You know you really made an impression on Jackie at our debut. She asks about you every time we talk on the phone,” she said giving me a weak smile. 

“Really that’s nice of her. Do you know what she asked me before she left?”