Amber’s Pov

I laid there for the next few minutes not moving. What should I do? I should have asked first. Was it just that she wasn’t expecting it. Or was it because of that ? How could he still be affecting our lives like this. I’m fine with whatever she wants to do, but if the only thing that is keeping her from moving forward in our relationship is because of that experience it is just not fair. She deserves to have the purity of that first experience not be tainted by anything. Does she want me to go in there? Should I wait for her to come out? Ugh, it was all so perfect. Still thinking I reached over to pick my shirt off the ground and put it back on. We were supposed to spend the night here, but now I don’t know. Sitting on the edge of the bed I looked up when I heard the door opening slowly. I saw her step out with her shirt re-buttoned, eyes downcast. I moved to stand up, but then hesitated and sat back down. She crossed her arms over her chest before saying, “Am...I...I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?” I asked in disbelief.

“I wanted to be ready,” she said in a small voice.

Her face glanced at mine for a second, and I could see that she had been crying in the bathroom. I couldn’t sit down anymore. I got up and walked over to her.

“Can I?” I asked before pulling her into my arms.

She nodded and I wrapped my arms around her waist as she moved her head into the crook of my neck.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m the one that should be apologizing,” I said.

“It felt good, I promise. I mean it surprised me, but it’s not you,” she explained. “I really thought that this would be a good time. When are we going to have the house to ourselves like this again? I want to. I want you. It’s just...”

“No matter the reason, it’s ok. Whatever you want is what I want too,” I said rubbing her back.

“I just felt like I was leading you on then disappointed you.”

“Absolutely not. What happened was amazing. I loved every second of it. If you don’t want to tell me what you are thinking then I understand, but I’m here,” I told her confidently.

“It wasn’t anything that had to do with you,” she said pulling back to look at me.

“Is it because of...of him,” I said gravely. 

“I haven’t thought about it in so long but-”

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. I wasn’t angry at her. Not in the least. It was him. He still had a hold on her. When would it end? When could we just be happy? I just wish I could make him feel the torment that she has felt. I stepped away from her feeling the anger surge through me.

“I hate him. I hate him so much for doing this to you,” I whispered turning away and facing the bed. “I hate him!” I yelled kicking the bed. “I hate him,” I said defeated sinking to my knees.

I felt her presence next to me and and her hand on my back.

“I wish I wasn’t angry but I am. I want to hurt him.”

“That’s not the answer. You have to let the anger go somehow,” she told me putting her arm around my shoulders.

“What do you want to do next? I can leave if you want to be alone. Or I can take you to Lauren’s.”

“You know that I’m not saying I need to be away from you,” she said.

“I know. I just want to give you options, and I need to calm down some,” I said tense.

“I don’t want to be here alone.”

“You can come back to the dorm or to Lauren’s.”

“I think I want to spend the night at Lau