I woke up in the morning and ran into the bathroom to throw up. Luhan came beside me and patted my back gently. I tried to catch my breath and then let out a long breath.

“Ok now?” He asked wrapping his arms around me to help me walk out of the bathroom. I nodded.

“You want to take a bath?” I asked softly.

“Yes. You should rest a lot and it’s time to stop going to school…” He said putting me gently on the bed.

“I need to finish my final exam first. You work today?”

“Appa needs me today”

“Today I…” I was about to tell him something but his phone rang. He got his phone from the nightstand and answered the call.

“Yes?”

“…..” I pouted turning away. I wanted to tell him that I had an appointment with the doctor and I wanted him to accompany me as always but looked like he forgot it already. He walked to the balcony while talking to the phone. I sighed and my eyes started tearing up.

I then walked into the bathroom and took a bath. But something made me cry. I sat down on the floor and cried my heart out. I just wanted to cry and cry. I didn’t know why I cried too. Maybe, it was because Kang Jihyun’s words.

‘Men…have need…all of them are the same. When their wives are pregnant…and cannot please them…they’ll find somewhere to fulfill their need! You got what I meant?’

It kept repeating in my head and it made me think about it again and again. But…I didn’t know if Luhan was really that kind of man.

‘I guess I’m right! It’s my concern…your husband is betraying you with some girls in the club. Who knows, he’s hiding a girl somewhere …tell you honestly, I saw Luhan and his friends in a club with girls a few night ago. If you don’t believe me, go and ask him…’

Luhan acted strange too, he often went out at night, sometimes I could keep him from going but not all of the time. He didn’t even pick me up after school as he used to do. And now, he forgot about my appointment with doctor. It’s hurt every time I think about it.

And like Jihyun said…I was pregnant and I could not take a duty as a wife at night…so it could be that he went out to find another girl to fulfill his needs. Think about it, I cried harder and harder.

Did he really cheat behind my back?

Did he really have another girl?

“Min!” I quickly wiped my tears I heard Luhan called me.

“Min!!!” He raised his voice and I let out a deep breath.

“I’m taking bath. Wait a minute!” I shouted trying to be normal.

After shower I got out of the bathroom and Luhan was nowhere to be found. I guess, he used the bathroom downstairs, though. I had breakfast alone because Luhan hurried to the company. After breakfast I went to school with Mr. Choi.

I felt bad all day and wanted to cry badly but I could not. I tried to hold back my tears and tried to avoid ExoK and everyone, especially Kang Jihyun. She kept smirking at me when she walked by.

In the afternoon, I secretly took a taxi to the hospital alone without anyone knew. It’s my early fifth month pregnant, and it’s my first time pregnant, doctor told me everything and how to be careful every movements.

I got out of the hospital and decided to walk. It would help me from thinking too.

I got thirsty so I went into a café and rest there for a while. I took out an x-ray from the file and carefully watch my baby. It’s too small, I could not believe that there’s a small human being in my tummy. I smiled caressing the photo. Then my phone rang, I looked at the screen and saw Luhan’s handsome face on it. I ignored and started to read the book for pregnant women from the hospital. I didn’t want to talk to him in that kind of situation. There’s only me and my baby, no other. I didn’t care if he really had another girl…(really?). I used to live without him for months…so I think I could live without him again…(Jjinja?).

I left the café and walked on until I reached a kindergarten school, it was very noisy because of children’s voice. They were laughing, playing and taking to each other. I got into school and watched them play. I could imagine my child runs around just like that.

I stayed in the school till the evening, I got a lot of calling from Luhan and the other but I didn’t pick up and just turned my phone off. I just needed time to be alone sometime. I knew, Luhan just cared about his child in my tummy, he didn’t worry about me at all. TT_TT

My tears rolled down again as I thought about it. I was sitting on a swing. It was silent because everyone went home after school. I sighed and wiped my tears from my cheeks and got up to go home.

I took a taxi and told the driver to be slow on the way.

“Ajussi!”

“Yes?”

“Are all men the same?”

“Not really!”

“Men always care about their children, right? They don’t care about their wives but only babies, right?”

“Just some of them”

“They’ll find other girl when their wives are pregnant…”

“It may be true!”

“You too?” I asked.

“No! Tell you honestly, I never think like that…my wife is a great wife ever. I love her and our children the same. I don’t care about her because she’s pregnant with my child but I care about her because I truly love her…True love, you know it?”

“…”

“I don’t know if your husband is the kind of that man you think he is…but if he really loves you then he never change and always cares about you because he loved you not just for his child…”

“But…what if he really cheats me because I’m pregnant?”

“…”

“What if he cares about me because I’m pregnant with his child…not because he loves me?”  

I walked into the house slowly. I was tired of thinking and worrying. I sighed looking around and found only silent. Was Luhan home? It seemed so quiet since Omma and Appa went abroad. And Grandma went to China to visit her relatives.

I opened to door of our room and Luhan was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t come back yet. I was about to walk into the bathroom but the door slung open and Luhan ran toward me and hugged me tight.

“Where were you? Why did you turn off your phone?! Do you how worried I am?! What if something happen to you and the baby? I ran everywhere just to find you!!!” He said a bit yell. I didn’t say anything. See, he just cares about the baby not me. I didn’t envy with the baby, ok?

“I’m tired. I want to rest!” I said coldly pushing him away. He looked at me with confused look. I just ignored and went into the bathroom. I leaned my back on the door and cried.

After shower I readied myself to sleep. Luhan was staring at me with a frown.

“Min!” He caught my wrist.

“I want to sleep!” I said taking my hand back and got onto the bed. I felt he still looked at me but I just closed my eyes and tried to sleep. My legs were hurt, maybe it’s because I walked a lot.

“What’s wrong with you, Min?” Luhan asked. I didn’t answer.

“Yoo Jimin!” He called turning me to face him.

“I know you’re still awake! Get up and talk with me! You’re strange today”

“I’m tired, Luhan. I walked way too much today, I’m really tired!” I said softly.

“You’re not only tired…you look weak and sad! What happen? Come on, Min!” He grabbed my shoulders pulling me up gently. I pushed his hands away and back to sleep. Really, I was so tired and my legs were hurt like hell.

“Luhan, please”

“Where do you hurt? You walk? Your legs are hurt?” He asked worriedly.

“Who tells you to walk? Why don’t you call me if you want to go anywhere? Why would you hurt yourself like this? And why didn’t you tell me where did you go? Do you know, I ran all the way just to find you?” He yelled angrily.

“Of course, I don’t know!!! I’m not sure if I called, you would appear. I’m not sure, if I tell you, you would have time to listen to me! I’m not sure myself that you care about me because I’m carrying your child or you really worry about me!”

“ …..”

“You’re very busy and don’t even have time to pick me up from school! You didn’t even answer my call! And most important, you didn’t even remember that I have an appointment today! So how can I ask you to help?....you idiot!...” I yelled back angrily. I could not control myself anymore. I needed to let it out or else I could die because of it. I cried lowering my head down.

“What are you talking about?”

“…”

“What do you mean? Care about you because you’re carrying my child? Where did you get that idea?” He asked lowly.

“….” I didn’t say but cried.

“Babo!” He pulled me into his embrace and hugged me tight. I cried harder in his chest.

“Let’s talk about it! Make it clear this time and you’ll never do it again!”

So here we go again.