FINALE: I HateThis Love Song
 

*BANG!*


I heard the loud sound of a gun tearing up into my very soul.


My mind went blank and my heart started beating furiously.


JIYONG!


I turned around, determined to go back to where I came from but strong hands stopped me even before I could make one step.


"Don't, Dara. It's dangerous!"


I looked at Khun Khun in disbelief.


"BUT JIYONG'S THERE!"


"The police are there too, Dara! They'll take care of everything." He started pulling me away from the dangers of the old abandoned warehouse and into the safety of the open road.


"But I can't leave him the~"


*BANG!*


*BANG!*


The successive sounds stung my ears, making my heart drop in an instant.


"JI!"


Without thinking twice, I roughly pulled my hand away from Khun Khun and rushed upstairs to the rooftop only to be faced by Jiyong, standing in front of me. His eyes were in a daze and filled with exhaustion.


But his lips curved into a smile as he cupped my face.


"Dara..."


And just as I was about to say his name, the man who held my heart captive fell lifeless on the ground.




















*BANG!*


I anticipated pain as I heard the loud sound of the gun piercing into the peaceful night.


But the pain never came.


I opened my eyes and looked up only to find the assailant gone. I looked to my side and saw him lying, seemingly motionless on the ground with a bullet stuck in his chest.


I heaved a sigh of relief, thanking the heavens for the worst is over.


I stood up just as the police surrounded the man that intended to harm both Dara and I.


I walked aimlessly, exhausted from all the physical and emotional battles I have been facing.


It was the end. 


I could feel that from here, it would be a peaceful ride for Dara and I.


I would ask for her forgiveness and I would woo her again, until her heart could finally forgive me and take me back.


*BANG!*


*BANG!*


My eyes widened as I felt a stinging pain that shot through my back, numbing my senses and blocking off everything that surrounded me.


Everything but her.


She was standing in front of me, her eyes filled with tears.


A smile curved my lips and silently thanked the heavens that her beautiful face was the last I would see.


I pulled all my last strength to ask for her forgiveness. 


But all I could make out was her name.


"Dara..."


I cupped her face for the last time before I collapsed on the cold, lonely ground.





































"Ssantokki..."


I looked up and saw my best friend standing just a few feet away from me, tears streaming down her beautiful face.


"Bommah..."


I weakly called out her name. I didn't dare to move. I was too weak and exhausted.


She ran to me and gathered me in her arms, providing comfort and support.


In her arms, I let my tears freely fall.


I had been crying ever since I held Jiyong's motionless body on the rooftop.


I had been crying ever since I held Jiyong's hand as we brought him here.


I had been crying ever since they placed him inside the room and closed the door.


I had been crying, crying and crying until I felt that all my tears had run dry.


And now that I was being comforted by my closest ally, my confidant, I let myself cry again.


"Ssshhh, Ssantokki. He's going to be fine."


I felt her caressed my back, just the way omma always do.


"I hurt him, Bommie. He was shot because of me." I buried my face on her chest, hating myself for causing the unfortunate incident to happen.


"Ani, Dara. It's not your fault! You did not want that to happen to Jiyong." Bommie assured me as she continued caressing my back.


"But the ahjussi... he shot Jiyong because of me." I cried even more, remembering the look on Jiyong's face when he cupped my face. So full of love and affection.


"It was that psycho's fault and not yours, Dara! For sure if Jiyong's here, he wouldn't like you blaming yourself for what happened."


My head snapped at her words.


"Don't speak as if Jiyong's already dead!"


Bommie's eyes widened at my sudden outburst.


I bit my lip and apologized meekly. 


What she said wasn't wrong. It was just that I was too sensitive at that time.


"Neh. I understand." She kissed my hair and soothed it. Somehow, it felt comforting.


"Thank you, Bommie, for staying with me." I smiled weakly at her, thankful for the support she was giving me.


"I'm here anytime for you, Ssantokki." She smiled as she let go of me and settled on a nearby seat beside me.


She looked at me and examined my state. I had been in the hospital for four hours now but I haven't seen myself in the mirror.


"Ssantokki, you need to go home now. You look so exhausted." She told me worriedly. I whimpered in protest.


"But Bommie, no one will be watching over him! What if he suddenly wake up? No one will be here to accompany him." I looked at her desperately which made her sigh.


"We'll watch over her, noona."


I looked behind Bommie and saw Seungri and Youngbae walking towards us.


"Youngbae-ah... Seungri..."


I saw Seungri's face drenched in tears.


I felt a tug in my heart and I ran to hug him.


"Noona..."


I heard his soft voice through his muffled cries. I held him tighter, determined to bring comfort to my favorite dongsaeng.


"Your hyung will be fine, panda. He is a fighter. He'll get through this." I softly whispered as I continued caressing his back, just the way Bommie did awhile ago.


"Noona, what would I ever do without him? He had always looked after me, took care of me."


I closed my eyes, trying not to imagine what my life would also be without him.


"He won't leave us, Seungri. Jiyong's too stubborn to die."


I heard him chuckled a little despite the tears that continued to fall from his eyes.


I felt his cries gradually fading as he silently heaved short breaths.


I looked over to Youngbae who was leaning on the wall, looking straight ahead, his chinky eyes betraying none of his emotions.


I pulled away from Seungri and went towards him. 


"Bae..." He abruptly looked at me as if he fell out of his trance.


"Noona, I'm scared..."


I felt my heart breaking into pieces as I watched the boy crumble in front of me.


"He said that between us, I was the strongest. He told me that he admired my courage to give you up no matter how hard and painful it was for me for he knew in his heart that if he did what I did, it would probably cause him his death."


My heart felt like it was being pierced over and over again into the smallest, tiniest pieces.


"What he didn't know was that part of my strength and courage came from him, from his encouragement, from his support and belief in me..."


I held his shoulders as he slowly fell on the fall, sitting on the dirty ground, uncaring if people were seeing his weakness.


I sat beside him and leaned my head on his shoulder. His shoulder used to be my pillow, comforting me whenever I was down or having problems with Jiyong.


And now, it was comforting me from the fear that was slowly engulfing my heart.


The fear of living a world without Kwon Jiyong in it.


















After much convincing from Bae, Seungri, Dae and Tabi, I decided to go home to Bommie and rest first at our dorm.


But before leaving, I wanted to see his face first.


Walking silently inside his room, my knees weaken when I caught sight of him.


Lying motionless on the white bed, several devices were connected to his thin body. His beautiful, boyish face was partly hidden by a big oxygen mask.


He was far from the Kwon Jiyong I was used to seeing. 


The Kwon Jiyong who always had a playful smirk on his face. 


The Kwon Jiyong who smiled so wide he revealed his gums.


The Kwon Jiyong who always gives his famous lopsided smile.


Not this Kwon Jiyong that was lying motionless on a cold, white bed.


I sat on the chair beside his bed and whispered softly on his ear.


"Ji, wake up. This place doesn't suit you. That clothes don't suit you."


I chuckled at myself for saying such nonsense thing. 


But I knew that if I didn't, I would just break down once again.


"What would your fans say if they see the fashionable and dashing Kwon Jiyong looking like this? Even if you're the famous G-Dragon, a hospital gown is still not the next trench coat."


I felt my tears spilling as I take in his appearance. Every glance I casted on him brought a pang in my heart.


"You can't stay like this, Jiyong. You're my young, tough, chic guy. You still have to live to protect me from the fanboys that confess to me!"


I held his hand which were cold against mine.


"You still have to apologize to me for saying all those hurtful words to me when you saw me and Khun Khun together!"


But I knew in my heart that I had already forgiven him even without him apologizing to me.


"Ji..."


I squeezed his hand as tears continued to flow from my eyes.


"Mian..."


I bowed my head and buried it on his bed, staining his blanket with my tears.


"I've always caused you pain. I always gave you reason to worry about me. I always appear weak that's why you're obliged to protect me..."


I let go of his hand and gently caressed his forehead with my palm.


"What if I just go away from your life?"


My voice trembled as I said those words.


I closed my eyes and whispered a silent prayer.


God, just let him be okay. I promise I will stay away from him and let him live a peaceful life.


I felt my heart constricting in pain.


Even if it's hard, I'll make that sacrifice...


Just let him be okay.


I opened my eyes and held his hand once again. I slowly put it against my lips and kissed it gently, hoping that somehow, I could make him feel all the love I still have for him.


I slowly got up and walked my way out of his door, unaware that as I did, the hand that I held, gently moved.






































It was eight in the morning when the sun's rays started blinding my eyes, urging me to wake up. 


I slept late last night as my mind refused to stop thinking about Jiyong's welfare.


How is he?


Is he awake already?


Is he feeling pain?


Is he going to be alright?


My thoughts were disrupted by the sudden opening of the door.


There, standing by my door was Bommie, smiling widely at me.


"Get up. We're going to the hospital."


I stared at her in confusion.


"Jiyong woke up already."


And for the first time after that fateful encounter, I smiled a genuine smile.
























I woke up with a throbbing pain on my backside.


"Sh*t!"


I cursed as I felt the pain growing more, spreading rapidly in my body.


I opened my eyes and let it roam inside the room I was in. I was surprised to find myself not in my room but in a room inside a hospital.


My still groggy mind tried to process what could have happened to make me end up in this place when the sudden realization hit me like a thunderstorm.


"DARA!"


A hand laid on top of mine as I sat upright on my bed.


"Ji."


I looked to my left and saw my best friend with half-lidded eyes, sitting beside my bed.


"Where is Dara? Is she okay?"


I was getting worried and wanted to secure her safety.


"Dara-noona's okay, Ji. She was here with you all night last night."


His words made me smile despite the pain I was feeling.


"Chongmal?"


A foolish grin appeared on my lips, making Bae smile as well.


"Neh. She didn't want to go home and insisted to accompany you but we convinced her to rest as well."


I closed my eyes laid contentedly on my bed upon hearing Bae's word. Somehow, the pain I felt earlier was gradually fading away.


After a few hours, I heard a loud sound coming from the door.


"OPPA!"


I opened my eyes and a smile immediately appeared upon seeing the girls.


One by one, Minji, Chaerin and Bom-noona entered my room.


A frown made its way on my forehead when I saw the door closing.


The girl that I wanted to see the most was not with them.


"Where's Dara?"


I asked them. At the mention of her name, Chaerin and Minji froze, making me suspicious.


But Bom-noona stepped up and calmly answered my question.


"She was still sleeping when we left. She was too exhausted from last night that's why we just let her rest some more."


"Ah." I nodded as Bom-noona's answer made sense.


But when I glanced at Minji and Chaerin and noticed them avoiding my eyes, I had a strange feeling something was up.


"What's wrong?" I asked the two.


Both Minji and Chaerin smiled at me nervously. Definitely suspicious.


"Ani. It's just that you gave us quite a scare there. We thought we were going to lose you."


I smiled genuinely as I heard Chaerin's words. She was really like a sister to me.


"Come here, both of you."


I stretched my hands and offered a hug to both of them. They obliged and hugged me back.


I looked at Bom-noona who was watching us with curious eyes. I smiled at her and motioned for her to join us.


"I can't leave this world yet. I still have to continue the Kwon generation with the help of your Dara unnie."


"OPPA!"


Minji and Chaerin slapped my arm causing me to wince in pain as they touched a part of the wounded area in my back.


"Mian, oppa!" Both chimed in and bowed their head in unison, making them look like synchronized animated dolls.


I looked over to Bom-noona and saw her smiling.


But behind her eyes was an emotion I was too familiar with.


Sadness.







































































I walked hesitantly towards the place I knew she would be.


It took me all the courage I could muster to enter their building.


For the past few weeks, I have been living in shame.


I have hurt and betrayed two of the kindest persons who have entered my life.


Jiyong had been supportive of me when I wanted to give up on my career due to the charade we were playing.


And Dara-unnie had been my confidant, my one and only ally against my number one enemy, the hurt that Khun had left on me.


I entered the dance hall and saw her sitting on the ground, totally exhausted.


"What are you doing here?"


Bom-unnie's cold and unforgiving voice welcomed me as I stepped inside the hall.


"I'm here to see Dara-unnie."


"You have the nerve to call her unnie after what you did to Jiyong and her?"


"Bommie, stop it."


We both turned Dara-unnie who was standing beside Bom-unnie.


"Come on, Yoon-ah. Let's go somewhere we can talk."


She guided me out of the hall and into the canteen where there were only a few people dining.


"Unnie, I want to apologize to you."


I bowed my head repeatedly.


"Mian! Mian!"


She smiled at me and lifted my face.


"It's okay, Yoon-ah. I'm not mad at you."


My eyes widened at her words.


"But I really want to know what happened that night."


I nodded my head and proceeded to recall that fateful night.


"I was drinking heavily and causing a stir on the bar. One of the customers, who turned out to be Jiyong's friend, recognized me and immediately called him, thinking that I was really Jiyong's girlfriend."


I saw her stiffen as I said that word.


"Jiyong was supposed to bring me to my dorm but upon seeing as how I was drenched in alcohol, he drove me to his place to let me borrow his shirt. He told me that he didn't want me to get into trouble with sajangnim."


I paused for awhile, uncomfortable with what I was about to reveal next.


"He gave me a shirt to change into and led me to his bathroom. He left to give me privacy and proceeded to the living room where you saw him standing."


I heaved a sigh as I continued.


"I was so out of it then. I was drowning in self-pity for I heard Khun call out your name repeatedly when I was nursing him after got so wasted. He even thought it was you who cooked the Ginseng Chicken that I used to make for him!"


I controlled my emotions for I didn't want to break down in front of many people.


"Having my self-esteem at the lowest, I did the stupidest thing one can do. I tried to seduce a man who I knew was in love with a other person already."


I bowed my head in shame.


"I wanted to feel beautiful, feel loved. I thought that if Jiyong caved in, it would make me feel a little better about myself."


I saw her flinched and I cursed myself for my reckless action.


"But he refused me again and again. He told me how she loves you and did not want to cheat on you. That time, my mind was all ed up that I didn't listen to his pleas. I kissed him but he didn't respond. I deepened my kiss which made him freeze in shock and that was the scene you witness."


I looked at her eyes, expecting to see hatred and disgust on them.


Instead, I saw understanding and care, making me well in tears.


"I understand, Yoon-ah. I understand what you feel."


I pulled her close to me and started crying, bawling my eyes out and seeking comfort on my ally and my confidant.


"Unnie, promise me one thing. If you can't find your happiness in Khun, would you please bring him back to me?"


My words made her pause. After awhile, she nodded.


"Neh, dongsaeng."






















































I stayed outside her dorm, hoping to catch her.


The past few days, I had been embarking on a pilgrimage. I went to each and every place she and I went to, recalled each and every word we have talked about.


It was her confession a few days ago that gave me the newfound courage I had now.


"I'm letting him go, Khun. I can't live my life with Kwon Jiyong."


And I didn't ask anymore. I just held her in my arms, making her feel all my love.


It was then that I decided to take time and reflect on my feelings towards her and my pilgrimage made me realize what I failed to know before.


I just couldn't live my life without Sandara Park.


I held on to the piece of item that signified my lifeline, the item that would bring me back to her completely.


"Khun Khun..."


I looked up and saw her approaching me. 


"Dara..."


I took her hand and placed the brochure on it. She opened the brochure and saw a ticket


"Khun Khun, what's this?"


"It's my lifeline, Dara. If you accept it and come with me, it means you are accepting a life with me."


She looked at me uncertainly.


"The night you took care of me when I was wasted and drunk, it was then that I realized that I couldn't live my life without you."


Her head snapped and her eyes widen. She was about to say something but I cut her.


"I'm not forcing you to love me, Dara. I just want you to give me a chance to make you fall for me, again. Give me a chance to erase all the hurt you felt once again."


She looked at the ticket and her brows furrowed.


"But the flight is the same day as the Big Show..."


I bowed my head in apology.


"Mian. It's the only flight I can get with my tight schedule. "


She looked at me then at the ticket uncertainly.


"You told me that you want to live a life without Jiyong, neh? Then please live your life with me."


She closed her eyes, debating with her mind.


"I won't pressure you to give an answer. I'll wait for you in the airport instead."


I moved closer to her and kissed her head.


"I'll wait for you, D. I won't lose my faith in you."


She looked up at me and smiled.


"Kamsahamnida, Khun Khun..."






























It had been three days since Jiyong was released from the hospital.


With all my might, I did my best not to show my face to him.


I knew it would be hard to avoid him as we were living and working on the same building.


So I visited the one place I knew who wouldn't go to.


The Philippines, my former home.


For three days, I stayed in my former country, catching up with my old friends and visiting the places I failed to explore the last time I went there.


It was a fun and enjoyable trip for me but all the while, my thoughts were in South Korea, wondering how he was doing.


And now, here I am, standing face to face with the man I had been avoiding.


"Why are you avoiding me, D?"


I looked straight in his eyes, determined not to show that I was weakening deep inside.


"I'm putting a space between us."


My simple answer irritated him.


"What the hell do we need the space for??!"


I swallowed hard and stood straighter, not taking my eyes off him.


"Admit it, Jiyong. We have hurt each other far too much for too many times. If we continue being together, we will just continue hurting each other."


I replied with all the coldness my voice could muster.


"I don't want to let you go."


His voice was stubborn, unwilling to back down.


"But I want to let go!" I exclaimed. I swallowed hard as I continued. "A week from now, I'll be joining Khun Khun in Thailand. There, he would formally introduce me to his family."


My words made him stop, his eyes probing mine to seek for a sign of sincerity.


But I have practiced this over and over again for the past few days, looking at the mirror with cold, uncaring eyes.


"When's you're flight?"


I couldn't read his expression.


"Saturday night. 9 P.M."


I saw the hurt in his eyes.


"But that's the night of our concert..."


I bowed my head to him in apology but in truth, I wanted to hide my eyes that might betray me.



"Mian..."


His eyes turned sharp and cold.


"You don't mean that."


His voice was low and muffled.


"I am hurting! You're hurting! We're both hurting!"


I exclaimed as I started walking away from him.


Mian, Ji... I have to do this. It's my turn to protect you from hurting again.


I was only a couple of steps away from him when his words suddenly stopped me dead on my tracks.


"In order to feel complete happiness, one must feel pain."


I bit my lip as I absorbed his words.


"I am willing to feel the pain over and over again, D. If it means I'll be able to feel complete happiness in your arms once again."

































Hundreds of media flocked the Seoul Yeongdeungpo Times Square all anticipating the press conference that was called by YGE's most prized idol, G-Dragon.


It was just a few days away from the BIGBANG Big Show 2012 concert and the media were all abuzzed as to what the leader of the most popular boyband in South Korea was planning on announcing.


Suddenly, a loud scream resounded all throughout the crowded area as the object of everyone's attention walked in with powerful strides. Following him closely were YG CEO Yang Hyun Suk, his manager and the rest of BIGBANG.


Clad in simple jeans and white shirt, G-Dragon shed off all the glamor of being an idol.


He settled on a seat on the middle of the stage and addressed everyone.


"Today, I am addressing all of you not as G-Dragon, the leader of BIGBANG but as Kwon Jiyong, a simple guy who used to dream of becoming a musician and living a peaceful life."


The crowd grew silent as Jiyong spoke with so much passion and sincerity.


"Months ago, I was in this same room, confessing to all of you that Yoona and I are a couple."


The crowd started murmuring.


"Today, I am here to admit to all of you that my relationship with Yoona is all a hoax."


The murmurs grew louder as the crowd looked on at Jiyong with disbelief.


"It was a lie we conjured to cover the stupid mistake I have done one night out of extreme jealousy."


Jiyong's face softened as he recalled a memory that had been etched in his heart.


"Seven years ago, I met a girl who made me fall in love at first sight. We became friends, closer in time. But just as I was developing feelings for her, she had to leave to pursue a different dream."


The crowd tuned into him, engrossed at what he was narrating.


"After she left, I became devastated. I grew depressed and I channeled all my ill feelings and loneliness in the songs I've written. Lies, Haru Haru, Until Whenever... all those were written for her. It was my silent shoutout to her even if she was in a different side of the world."


He smiled faintly as he recalled the day she came back.


"One summer, she came back to me. Right then and there I promised myself I wouldn't let her go. Our feelings for each other blossomed and our love was strengthened as years passed and I couldn't be more happy and contented."


Sadness suddenly engulfed him as he continued.


"But a foolish mistake tore us apart. She was being hurt by all the bashing and negative comments she was receiving from some who did not approve of her being linked to me so I did what I thought was best for her. I broke up with her to protect her."


The crowd murmured once again at his admission.


"We got separated as she went far away to continue her dream. Months passed and I realized that I had to get her back into my life. I realized that life wasn't worth living without her."


A tear fell from his eyes.


"But I was too late. She already met someone else and had fallen for someone else. In my jealousy, I did the stupidest thing. I drank far too much drink my body couldn't handle and kissed a girl I don't even know personally. That girl was Yoona."


The crowd gasped and continued buzzing, all in disbelief at what Jiyong was telling them.


"Some people snapped photo of us and spread it in the internet. To protect both Yoona and I, our management decided to make us pretend to date in order to cover up my stupid mistake. But even in our charade, all I could think about was her, the girl whom I loved and hurt the most."


Tears were flowing continuously from his eyes. Jiyong did not bother hiding his emotions anymore.


"Then she came back again and the love that had remained in my heart for her grew even more. I pursued her once again even if she tried to close her heart for me. I knocked and I knocked until I had broken down the wall she had worked so hard to build against me, afraid that I would hurt her once again."


He bowed his head and placed his hands on his hair. He paused for awhile as if to calm himself before proceeding to speak.


"And I hurt her once again because of my damn jealousy. I said hurtful words that made her feel little of herself. But I did not mean that! God knows how I did not mean all the things I said! I respect her and think highly of her and I knew that she couldn't do the things I have accused her that day."


His tears overflowed his eyes as he spoke his next words.


"And now, I am afraid I might be losing her forever..."


The crowd grew silent as the sound of Jiyong's cries resonated throughout the room.


"Days from now, during the night of our concert, she had been invited to go to Thailand with the man who had been my rival in her heart."


The crowd grew loud once again as they started to speculate.


A hand was raised from the crowd.


"Is the girl you're talking about, Dara Park? Nichkhun of 2PM announced on MBC that he invited Ms. Park to go to his country to meet his parents."


All eyes were on Jiyong, eagerly anticipating his answer.


A smile appeared on his face as the image of the girl he loves entered his mind.


"Neh, the girl I have loved and continued loving for seven years is Sandara Park."


The crowd gasped and loud murmurs and buzzing at the explosive revelation of Kwon Jiyong.


The loud noise inside the room was cut short by Jiyong's voice.


"I know what I have admitted might make me lose the people who have supported, believed and loved me but the incident that happened in Angel Price Music Festival made me realize how easy it is to lose the person you love. I almost lost her and now that she is still with me, I will make sure I won't ever lose her again."


He bowed his head to crowd.


"Sorry, everyone, for the treachery we committed. I fully take responsibility for it and if somehow, the people decide to stop supporting me, after the Big Show Concert, I would willingly step down as BIGBANG's leader and idol member and live a normal life again as Kwon Jiyong."


He turned to the camera that was focused on him.


"D, if you're watching this, I will reserve a seat for you in our concert. I have faith that you will not leave me again. Please give me one last chance to prove that the two of us, we belong together."


"For you, I would willingly give up the fame I am experiencing now. Even if it's painful to leave my dream, I would gladly do it just to experience my happiness with you."


With those last words, he dropped the microphone he was holding and stood up, leaving the crowd in complete shock.













































In a blink of an eye, it was Saturday already.


I've always thought that making decisions was my achilles heel.


You see, I have always been fickle-minded, pacing back and forth, coming up with the a decision at the very last minute.


Tonight, however, my heart never felt so sure of what it wanted.


I got up from my bed and gathered my things. I walked with a purpose, my steps filled with confidence in each stride.


I left the empty dorm and made my way out of the building. Outside, the sky was illuminated with countless stars that it felt surreal, as if it was one big constellation.


I hailed a cab and sat at the back. I smiled at the driver as I noticed his eyes grew wide in surprise.


"SANDARA PARK!"


The ahjussi exclaimed in shock.


Yes, I was not wearing any mask to protect my celebrity image. 


I was too tired of pretending.


I was sick of living a lie.


It was time to drop the act.


I looked at the ahjussi who had finally recovered from the biggest shock of his life.


"Where are we heading to, Ms. Park? To Incheon International Airport or Incheon Munhak Worldcup Stadium?"


A smile formed on my lips as I realized the ahjussi was up to date with the latest news about me.


My smile grew wider as I said my choice of destination.


"To Incheon..."

























I looked at my watch and grew weary. It was already 7:30 P.M., just an hour and a half before our flight takes off.


"Could it be..."


I shook my head to brush the negative thoughts away.


I felt a hand gently tapped my shoulder. I looked up immediately and my heart dropped when I saw that it was only Woo.


"Don't worry, bro. She'll come." He told me with a somber look on his eyes.


I looked at his calm demeanor and heaved a sigh.


"What if she won't?" I felt my heart constrict as I said those words. 


My heart grew weary as time ticked off a second.


He looked at me seriously before breaking into a smile.


"Trust me. She will."


My heart and my gut told me to believe him.







































It was our last song, the song I wrote the day I thought I would lose her forever.


I roamed my eyes again to the crowd and landed on the seat I have reserved for her. It was a habit I have grown accustomed to ever since our concert started, hoping to catch a sight of even the slightest evidence of her presence.


A new hope accompanied my every glance at her seat, believing that if I just look close enough, I would definitely see her smiling brightly only at me.


But it had already been more than two hours since the concert started and I began to feel my hope gradually slipping away from me.


I cast a glance at the audience once again, telling myself that it would be the last time I would look for her.


I felt a nudge and saw Bae smiling at me.


"Don't worry too much, Ji. Noona will come." He said convincingly, giving hope to my dying spirit.


I smiled at him before I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer.


Just let me see her please... I promise this will be the last time.


With a hopeful heart, I opened my eyes and roamed them around once again, determined to find her.


But I guess it would be hard to look for someone who wasn't there to begin with.


A sudden realization hit me like a tidal wave that crashed with my broken heart.


She's not coming...


I was certain that any minute now, she would be boarding her flight together with the man she has chosen to spend her new life with.


The realization slowly killed my wilted being, my tattered and battered soul.


And just as our music started playing, I knew...


I lost her forever.








han yeojaga meoreojyeoga.. (One woman is becoming disaster..)

namjaneun norae bureujiman.. (Even though a man is still singing..)

nunmuri naneungeol ibyeoriran... (I'm tearing up at the thought of break up...)







I ran as fast as I could, not minding the people I bumped into, the stares that were thrown at me or the heavy burden that was hanging by my hand.







Neol manjilsuga eomneungeol I know yeah eh.. (I can't touch you, I know yeah eh..)

tteoreojineun nal jabajwo, Hello... (I'm falling, catch me, Hello...)







I didn't stop running until I saw him. He was in the center, surrounded by his group he called his brothers.






I hate this love song I hate this love song..

I hate this love song I hate this love song....






I pushed my way towards the sea of people chanting their names, some of their banners were waved frantically in front of my face.






I hate this love song I hate this love song..

I hate this love song I hate this love song....





I tried squeezing my way out of the crowd but they were too persistent.





I sarang noraega sirheo dasin an bureuri.. (I hate this love song, I'll never sing it again...)


neoreul tteoolliji anke ijeulsu itge... (so I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you...)






"Excuse me!" I yelled on top of my lungs, battling with the noise that surrounded me.


"I need to get to him. Please let me go to him!"








I sarang noraega sirheo useumyeo bureuri.. (I hate this love song, I'm going to sing it with a smile..)

geudaega oeropji anke jigeum neoegero... (In order to cure your loneliness, I'm going to you now...)







One by one, people started noticing me which made matters worst.


"OMO! IT'S SANDARA PARK!"


I heard one of the fans screamed on top of her lungs, causing a commotion in the crowd.








Nan duryeowo i sesangeun uimi eobseo.. (I'm scared, this world is meaningless..)

Dalgwa byeori inneun neo inneun geu gose deryeogajwo... (Take me to where you are, a place with the moon and stars...)







I felt my limbs were being torn apart as fans lunged at me, pulling my arms, sniffing my hair and asking a million things I couldn't comprehend.






Urineun areumdawonneunde You know naege.. (We were so beautiful, you know..)

sarangeul gareuchyeojun neo, Hello... (You taught me what love was, Hello...)








I felt all hopes faded as I sank lower, my body being pulled towards the ground.


"NO! I need to see him. He needs to know I'm here..." I cried out helplessly as fans continued swarming me.


And just when all hope was lost, I felt a hand firmly gripped mine. I looked up and saw it was their manager.


He pulled me out of the crowd and into safety.


"Kamsahamnida!" I bowed in gratitude to the man who saved my life. I was about say something more when I heard a voice that resounded throughout, fighting the noise of the crowd.







I hate this love song I hate this love song..

I hate this love song I hate this love song....









"DARA!"


I turned towards the voice and saw him smiling brightly at me.


Without a second thought, I ran towards him and held him tightly in my arms as the crowd cheered loudly for us.


"Khun Khun..."










I hate this love song I hate this love song..

I hate this love song I hate this love song....






She's gone...


Just like that, my hope along with my heart died all of a sudden.






I sarang noraega sirheo dasin an bureuriI.. (I hate this love song, I'll never sing it again..)

Neoreul tteoolliji anke ijeul su itge... (So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you...)







She's gone...


I felt every part of my body become numb.






I sarang noraega sirheo useumyeo bureuri.. (I hate this love song, I'm going to sing it with a smile..)

Geudaega oeropji anke jigeum neoegero... (In order to cure your loneliness, I'm going to you now...)






She's gone...


I realized that I would never get to hold her in my arms again.







Oh I hate this love song...







I felt my knees weaken as I joined Bae in singing the last line of our song.







I hate this love song....








With my last strength, I felt my knees buckled and I found myself limply kneeling on the ground.



I didn't hear the loud cheers of the crowd nor realize that the lights were turned off except for the faint light that stayed with me as I remained rooted to my spot, kneeling helplessly without a cause.


It was there in the comfort of darkness that I finally let out the pain in my heart. My cries filled the whole stadium, silencing the crowd who earlier cheered for us.


I lost count of how many tears that had fallen on the ground, how many cries I had let out and how many gasps had resonated from the crowd.


All I was aware of was the intense pain in my heart, stinging me repeatedly, making me more numb as each second passed.


I glanced up at the sky, powerless and laughed bitterly at the thousand stars that decided to accompany me tonight.


Yet the one and only star I had wanted to be with me was nowhere in sight.


I bowed my head and let the tears flow freely, wanting to rid myself of the heavy burden I was carrying.


"Why do you hate our love song?"


I shot my head abruptly as I thought I heard a very familiar voice asking me an odd question.


"Huh?"


I was still kneeling down, my head directed towards the crowd that was screaming and cheering like crazy.


"I said, why do you hate our love song? Don't you know that a lot of people love that song even if it's not your title track?"


My eyes widened as I recognized that voice. How could I have not the first time I heard it?


Probably my mind could not register the possibility that it was her.


But my heart... my heart was certain it could only be her.


I stood up and spun around, only to see her standing just a few feet away from me, wearing the smile she had the first time we met seven years ago.


The smile that had made me fall in love with her the first time I saw her.


She approached me, probably noticing I was frozen on my spot, that smile never leaving her face.


And just when she was just a few inches away from me, she leaned close and whispered softly to my ears.


"Sorry it took me too long. I had to bring a friend to her happiness."










I held him tight in my arms as tears started falling from my eyes.


He pulled away gently and cupped my face, concern was written all over his eyes.


"Dara, why are you crying?"


I smiled at him faintly as I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes.


"I came here not to join you in Thailand, Khun Khun."


Khun Khun's eyes widened at what I said.


"I came here to bring you your happiness."


He looked at me with a mixture of pain and confusion.


"Khun Khun, the person who took care of you that night when you were drunk and wasted, the person whom you cannot live without, she's not me."


He shook his head as if to clear his mind.


"That person is Yoon-ah."


Yoon-ah came from behind me, holding the luggage I was carrying earlier.


I turned to her and smiled widely at the girl who had become my ally, my confidant.


"Yoon-ah, I'm giving you back your happiness."


I placed the ticket I was holding to her open palm.


"Unnie..."


She held me tight as our tears fell freely together.


I pulled away from her and faced the man I had depended on during the roughest times of my life. 


The man I had turned to when I sought for solace and comfort.


And the man I almost fell in love with. 


"Khun Khun..." I whispered softly as I held on to him for the last time.


"Kamsahamnida."


I lpulled away and brought my lips to his cheeks, letting him go of in order for him to find happiness with the woman who love him unconditionally.








I smiled at her, proud of how she handled the dilemma she was faced with.


She took out a cap from her jean pocket and placed it on top of my head.


I was baffled. It was the cap I wore during the Global Gathering where we first held our "HELLO" performance.


"H-how did you get this??"


She glanced at the backstage area where the boys were all smiling goofily at us.


"Let's say a baby panda and a chinky-eyed hottie helped me." She smiled at the culprits, Seungri standing next to Chaerin and Bae who was holding hands with Yuri-sshi. Both gave a thumbs up sign.


My eyes narrowed at what she said.


"BABY AND HOTTIE???!"


She chuckled lightly, amused at my anger.


"YA!"


She just winked at me and held me suddenly in her arms.


My frown quickly dissolved as I basked in her sweet aroma, her comforting warmth and the overflowing love I have felt with her touch.


"I knew you'd find your way back to me, D."


I felt her burying her head on my chest as she heaved a sigh.


"It wasn't that hard. My stubborn mind just had to listen to my persistent heart."


I smiled at what she said.


"Now that you're here in my arms, I'll make sure that you won't ever go away again, my butterfly."


I felt her smile through my chest which made my heart beat faster.


"Even if I could, I would make sure my wings would stay attached to your wings, my dragon."


I pulled gently away from her and stared deep into her eyes, my own welling in tears as I thanked the heavens for bringing her back to my life.


"Do you want to know why I placed that cap on your head?"


I shook my head for I had absolutely no idea.


"It's so you can kiss me again like the way you did when we performed at Idol Big Show."


I chuckled at her dorky idea.


I pulled my cap from my head and placed it in front of our faces, covering them from the crowd that eagerly anticipated our kiss.


I closed my eyes and brushed my lips against her, gently and slowly, savoring this wonderful moment I was having with her.


I felt all sights and sounds were blocked off as my whole being was focused on the feeling of our hearts being reunited with the union of our lips.


And just as our kiss was deepening, I felt her hand pulled the cap away, exposing our faces much to the crowd's delight.


A smile spread across my lips as we continued kissing, oblivious to the hoots and cheers from the crowd that was going crazy.


For all that mattered to us was just US.


The dragon and the butterfly.


Kwon Jiyong and Sandara Park...