Have a Strong Heart




“Aaaaaaawwwwwww…. Hmmmm….. mmmmmm…”


I stretched my limbs like a cat as a ray of light passed through my window, slightly blinding my eyes.


I got off my bed and gathered my messy hair in a bun as I admired the faint appearance of the sun outside. 


The sun decided to shine today. Despite the coldness that seeped through my body, I couldn’t help but feel positive as if today will be unlike any other day.


Warmth.


Yes. That was what I felt the moment I laid eyes on the faint sunlight that emanated from the sky. Who would have thought that such a trivial thing could bring an unexpected joy to a twenty-seven year old lady acting like a child?


But that’s just how I am. Despite the glitz and glamour that the music industry presented to me, at the end of the day, I’m still the old Sandy craving for a simple joy that can make my heart flutter like a butterfly.


Butterfly… 


I marveled as I saw a red butterfly made its way towards my window. It stood outside, fluttering its wings as it settled outside my window as if prying inside my room, probably wondering who was the person eyeing its beauty just now.


I smiled as I watched it fluttered its wings and flew away, probably to another place where it can bring another joy to a sullen person who needs inspiration.


I made my way out of my room as quietly as I could. The girls were still sleeping peacefully as it was still too early to be in such a good mood.


I took my hoodie that was resting by the couch. I guess I left it there last night as I was too exhausted after coming back from our shoot. I wore it and zipped it up to protect me from the coldness outside. I went back to the room as I realized that I forgot to wear a scarf. I took my yellow scarf among the piles of scarves resting in my closet and made my way back to the living room.


It would be such a waste if I wouldn’t take the opportunity to enjoy this day. My heart was still aching from yesterday’s event and I felt like taking a walk to clear my mind and probably, bring clarity to my heart in a way.


I twisted the knob of the door and stepped outside.


Under normal circumstances, that simple task may be insignificant.


But not today.


For today, right outside my apartment, he stood as if he had been there for awhile now, leaning his back against the cold wall.


He wasn’t wearing anything fancy. He was clad in his favorite white shirt underneath an old heavy hoodie sweater, the one he loved to wear whenever we go out on a cold weather. He was wearing simple jeans, just the way I liked it.


But what caught my eye was the pink scarf that stood out among the items he wore. It was the scarf that we bought along with the yellow scarf that I was wearing at that moment.


“Hello.” I quietly greeted him. Somehow, that made him smile.


“Hello.” He greeted back, his smile never leaving his handsome face.


I never expected to see him there, standing outside my apartment at six in the morning, after the things I’ve said last night.


But there he was, standing in front of me, stripped off of the glamour G-Dragon so expertly wore.


He was Kwon Jiyong before my very eyes and somehow, that gave me comfort.


“How long have you been standing here?” I did not make an effort to be bashful. He already knew me too well.


He ruffled his hair as if in embarrassment. “You read me too well.” He blushed as he shyly admitted.


It was too quick. My cheeks flustered before I could even stop it. Aigoo! How can he so easily do this to me?


I heard him cleared his throat as he looked hesitantly at me. I cocked my head and looked at him expectantly.


“Let’s go out.” He told me nonchalantly, as if he just blurted out a casual sentence.


I saw how awkward he got as soon as the words got out of his mouth and I couldn’t help but a little despite the awkwardness I was feeling at the moment.


“Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. K?” I shyly which earned another blush from him.


“Ani- ANIYOOO!” He was flabbergasted at my sudden boldness that I couldn’t help but let out laughter.


And despite the laughter, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed at his answer.


“Then what are you doing standing here so early in the morning? Don’t tell me you’ll ask one of the girls, huh?” I raised an eyebrow at him.


I only meant to but his eyes turned dead serious I suddenly regretted my playful behavior awhile back.


“You know damn well you’re the only girl I want to be with it.” He muttered under his breath and I could tell, even with his head bowed down, that his eyes reflected sadness.


I just knew him damn well.




















“You know damn well you’re the only girl I want to be with it.” I muttered under my breath, unsure if she even heard it. I bowed my head so as not to let her see the sadness that emanated from my eyes.


I felt her coming near me, held my chin and leveled my gaze to hers. I felt like a little boy right there and then, trapped in the piercing stare of the woman who holds my heart in her hands.


“I’m glad you’re here, Ji.” She told me as she gave a gentle smile. My heart fluttered in happiness as I felt sincerity in her voice.


I took that chance to hold her hand and intertwine it with mine, savoring the warmth her hand gave to me. I looked at our hands and marveled at how they fit perfectly.


We walked in silence as we held on to each other’s hand, not minding if other people would come out of their apartments and buzz around us. They would just be mere specks or something insignificant like dusts.


All I care about was the owner of the hand that held mine and the feeling of knowing that even for just that morning, she was mine.



















We walked outside the building only to be greeted by snow-covered street. I fixed the scarf around my neck and out of instinct, fixed Jiyong’s as well.


He looked at me in surprise and I just smiled at him. He smiled back and tightened his hold in my hand. “I guess some things never change, huh?” He teased me as I felt my cheeks turning red. He must have noticed it too since he chuckled, making me blush even more.


“Aigoo… It’s so cold in here it’s making my cheeks red!” I tried to alleviate my embarrassment. Sadly, he only chuckled more upon hearing my statement.


“Are you sure you’re blushing because of the weather or because of my presence?” Aigoo, the cocky Kwon Jiyong is at it again!


As we walked together, my mind conjured an evil plan to get back at him for embarrassing me earlier. AHA! A sneaky smile crept up my face as I watched him walking confidently, unaware of what he would be experiencing in a few seconds.


I put my plan into action as soon as he got distracted by a phone call. I bent down pretending to fix my shoelace while he continued with his conversation, unaware that my hands gathered snow that I was carefully forming into a ball.


I stood up quickly as I heard him end his conversation. I hid the snow ball I made behind my back and called him, hoping to get his attention. 


“Jiyongie!” He came near me and when we were just a few inches away from each other, I whispered something in his ear that made him shiver.


“Jiyongie, I have something special for you.” I told him alluringly. He looked at me expectantly, a goofy smile pasted on his face, like a kid waiting for his birthday treat.


“This.” I hissed seductively as I stepped a little backwards and smashed his face with the snowball I just made.


“I just thought you needed to cool down a little!” I giggled as I saw his face, still covered with snow, fuming mad at my little scheme. I squealed like a child as I ran around the street, trying to escape the wrath of Kwon Jiyong as he chased me around continuously.


“HAYYYYSSSSSTT!!! I’LL GET YOU, YOU LITTLE DEVIOUS RABBIT YOU, YOU SSANTOKKI!!!!”




















We ran around the street like little kids playing with snow. She would throw me a bunch of snowballs in vain while I chase her, determined not to let her go.


She would giggle every once in awhile and I would laugh at myself for her mere giggles sounded like music to my ears. It might sound funny but those giggles were what I have been longing to hear.


I finally caught her and the impact of our collision made us fall in the snow-covered ground. She was still giggling while I, well let’s just say I wished we would remained that way forever, our bodies entangled and snowbound. I tightened my hold on her and snuggled my face against her neck, inhaling the fragrance of apple in her hair. I felt her body shivered, probably due to the nearness of my body to hers.


It took awhile for her giggles to subside. I felt her stiffened as I gently kissed the crook of her neck and sighed.


“J-jiyong…” She stuttered as she pulled away from me, sat up quickly and looked at me in dazed. I sat up beside her and fixed the strands of hair that covered her stunning bare face.


“I’ll be taping Kang Shim Jang later, D.” I told her, suddenly feeling exhausted.


She looked at me curiously. “Why do you sound so tired?” I was touched as her face showed concern for me.


“You know how much I hate going on variety shows, right? Having to act all cute and show my aegyo…” I sighed as I remember the things the PDs made me do in the past in order to rake in ratings.


She smiled that smile of hers, the smile that she reserves for me whenever I said something that she found amusing. “But you have no choice but to comply, eh?” She asked, teasingly.


“If I could refuse, I would. People just shove things to me and let me do things that I don’t even want to do.” I groaned and pouted which earned a hearty laugh from her.


As I was watching her, an idea suddenly came to me. I couldn’t help but smile slyly.


“What if I just admit on air that you are my butterfly, D?” My smile grew wide as I blurted those words.


Her reaction, however, was not what I wished for.


“Ji, we already talked about this last night…” He voice sounded exasperated. I knew the moment she started talking that I was already defeated.


“Neh. I understand.” I told her as I tried to smile and hide my disappointment. My effort seemed futile though, as she pinched my nose hard, a gesture she always does whenever she wanted to comfort me.


“AWWWW!” I pouted as I rubbed my abused nose and frowned at her. She only laughed at me and started writing words in the snow in front of her.


I scanned my eyes on the words she wrote in the snow and despite the simplicity of her words, I felt the genuineness she wanted to convey to me.


Have a strong heart, Ji…




















“Everyone settle on their seats please!”


My eyes roamed the room as several staff and crew ran around as the show was about to start in a few minutes. I recognized some juniors and seniors and bowed to them in greeting. I settled on my assigned seat while TOP-hyung sat next to me and continued on with his heavy breathing.


“Hyung, will you cut that out? You’re creeping me out.” I as I saw him looking dazed and confused.


“Have I told you that I hate going on variety shows? Why am I here again and not Seungri?” He groaned as he stared at the audience who were screaming his name.


Yes, our resident rapper, T.O.P., was always charming as hell when we were performing but in real life, he’s just awkward and silent.


“It’s because Seungri’s busy with his other taping.” I informed him.


“What about Dae?” He cocked an eyebrow at me.


“Busy with his Broadway show.” I answered casually as I fixed my lapel.


“And Bae?” He raised another eyebrow.


“With Teddy and Kush to discuss his new single.” I answered again.


“And why do you know all these things while I don’t?!” He asked me incredulously.


I just gave him a cheeky grin. “Coz I’m the leader and I take care of you, boys.” I answered smugly.


“I see the almighty Kwon Leadah has come out to play!” He teased me while playfully punching my shoulder.


I was about to retaliate when the opening billboard for Kang Shim Jang was played on the background. I turned my attention towards the hosts, Kang Ho Dong and Lee Seung Gi.


And the show started. The show for tonight was about idols’ ideal mate and secret relationships, just as what the two hosts have stated.


What a great choice of theme! I laughed secretly. They really pick the right idols to guest tonight. Kkkkk. 


I stole a glance at my buddy, TOP-hyung and noticed he was starting to blush as the hosts Seunggi-sshi elaborated on the subject. I knew he was thinking about one person as the words “secret relationship” and “ideal mate” became the selected topic.


“Jiyong-sshi, you have been asked about this question in numerous occasions but we would like to know if your ideal girl has changed already now that you and Yoona are dating.”


I cringed as I heard Ho Dong-hyung mentioning that Yoona and I are dating. A sneaky smile, though, crept up on my face as I lingered on the question of my ideal girl. A vision of Dara lying in the snow-covered ground, snuggled close to me with cheeks turning crimson red, suddenly came into my consciousness.


“My ideal girl hasn’t changed a lot. Although now, I prefer her to have long jet black hair.” I giggled as I remembered tucking the loose strands of Dara’s long black hair that covered her delicate face.


“Oh, and a girl who doesn’t mind lying in the snow-covered ground while giggling like a child.” I smiled like a fool while remembering her cuteness a little earlier. “That would be my ideal girl.” I looked straight in the camera as I wanted her to know that I meant all that I said awhile ago.


“Oh, Jiyong-sshi and Yoona-sshi probably played in the snow a lot, neh?” The crowd cheered on as Ho Dong-hyung and Seunggi-sshi giggled like schoolboys.


I thought this Seunggi likes Yoona? Why is he even giggling thinking I’m dating Yoona? My mood suddenly turned foul.


“Arasso, let’s move on to a beastly idol, shall we?” The crowd cheered as Ho Dong-hyung moved on to the next guest. “I heard this beastly idol was well-loved by the Japanese, neh? He was even voted together with Sandara Park as the most loved on-screen couple on one award show!”


My head shot up upon hearing her name. I looked around to see who Ho Dong-hyung was talking to and spotted my bitter rival, Nichkhun, smiling like a little a beast that was tamed. He’s also here? What are the odds of us being in the same show? I snickered to myself.


“Annyong haseyo! Nae ileum-eun Nichkhun-ibnida!” He greeted cheerfully as the fans cheered him on. Damn, this guy sure has charisma! I hissed to myself.


Who would have thought the Almighty Kwon Leadah, the Great G-Dragon, the leader of the phenomenon boygroup, BIGBANG, was feeling insecure over Nichkhun Horvejkul being cheered on by fans? If he was some other idol, I would have felt happy for him but knowing that he was my rival, my heart constricted as my mind wondered whether the cheers meant his “onscreen” relationship with Dara was being accepted warmly by the fans.


“Nichkhun-sshi, what about you? What are the traits that a woman must have in order for her to be called Nichkhun’s ideal girl?” Seunggi-sshi asked him with a cheeky grin.


I watched intently as Nichkhun’s eyes wandered somewhere, as if recalling something, then smiled like a fool. “My ideal girl must be someone who even though bare-faced, still looks stunning and breath-taking.” He answered dreamily.


“He must be the type of girl who doesn’t need to exert much effort to stand out but still does, a girl who does not need to dress ily just to be y.”


“And a girl who loves to eat ice cream even when it’s frickin’ cold.” He finished with a bigger smile on her.


Who the hell will eat ice cream when it’s frickin’ cold? I snickered to myself. Even Dara wouldn’t do such a thing.


I eyed him again with curiosity. Has he changed his mind about Dara? 


As if sensing someone watching him, he turned towards me and eyed me with the same intensity.


We stared hard at each other, neither one of us wanted to withdraw our stares if not for the voice that distracted us.


“It’s now time to reveal what our idols would be talking about to determine who has the strongest heart this week. Idols, reveal!”


All at once, we pulled out the cloth that covered our mini board that states the title of our stories. I smiled as I read what I wrote earlier.


“WOW! I’m seeing some pretty interesting titles here. One has already caught my eye.” Ho Dong-hyung looked towards TOP-hyung’s and I’s direction. “TOP-sshi’s board says ‘Sleeping under the peaceful sky of Shiba Park.” The crowd cheered while hyung’s face turned a shade of tomato.


“Wow! I heard Shiba Park’s a favorite among Japanese movies for location shoot, right?” Seunggi-sshi asked as TOP-hyung nodded. He had recovered already from being flustered earlier.


“Neh. It was really beautiful and peaceful.” Hyung answered with a dreamy gaze in his eyes and I guessed that his mind was probably traveling back to that place where he and Bom-noona practiced our Jibe Kajima stage.


“Tell us, TOP-sshi. What was so memorable about sleeping under “the peaceful sky of Shiba Park” that made you choose that as your story for today?” Ho Dong-hyung , earning another blush from our tough, resident rapper. I had to laugh upon seeing my hyung all red and flustered. 


The audiences hushed when TOP-sshi moved the mic closer to his mouth, indicating he was ready to share a juicy story.


“One day while visiting Tokyo, I went to Shiba Park to practice for a special performance.”


“Practicing for a performance in Shiba Park? Isn’t it dangerous to go dancing and rapping in a place where there are many people gathered around? Didn’t your fan girls abduct you or something?” The audiences, along with the hosts, the guests and yours truly, laughed at Ho Dong-hyung’s last comment.


TOP-sshi laughed as well, his awkwardness was gradually being replaced by his natural charms. “We were wearing disguises so that our fans won’t noti~~” My eyes widened as I heard him slip.


I guess I wasn’t the only one who noticed the slip as the hosts along with the audiences all gasped and widened their eyes at his revelation. 


“We? Our fans? You were out dating a celebrity in Shiba Park??” It was TOP-hyung’s turn to widen his eyes as he realized he had slipped.


Thanking the heavens that our blabbermouth maknae was not around to add further damage, I did my best to save my hyung.


“HAHAHA! I remember your face, hyung, when some of your fans eyed you suspiciously. HAHAHA!” I forced a laugh as hyung looked at me confused. I gave him my “just-go-along-with-this-or-else-your-a$s-will-be-busted” look which he caught up to. “We did our best to disguise ourselves but his baritone voice just couldn’t be hidden.” We both laughed forcefully as the audience along with the hosts laughed with us as well.


“So Jiyong-sshi, you were also with TOP-sshi a Shiba Park at that time?” Seunggi-sshi asked me which I replied with a nod. 


“Neh. We were practicing Jibe Kajima at that time and we wanted to sing somewhere peaceful. We thought Shiba Park was the best choice.” The audiences all agreed. I looked at TOP-sshi and saw him giving me a thankful smile for my good deed.


“But what really interests me is the “sleeping under the peaceful sky of Shiba Park” story. Please elaborate on this story, TOP-sshi.” The ever persistent Ho Dong-hyung asked TOP-hyung again. Hayssst! Better not slip up again, man! I gave my hyung a warning look which he acknowledged with a smile.


“Jiyong-ah left me for awhile to grab some snacks. He was getting hungry for we didn’t eat breakfast that morning.” He looked at me as if to get my confirmation to which I nodded in agreement, playing along with his charade. “I got tired so I sat on one of the benches and decided to rest my eyes for awhile as I woke up very early that day.” His gaze became dreamy once again, probably envisioning the day vividly.


“I don’t know how long I have fallen asleep but then suddenly, I felt something land on my shoulder. As I looked at what that something was, I was surprised to see an angel sitting beside me with her head leaning towards my shoulder.” The audience gasped at what TOP-hyung revealed. “She had the most stunning face I have ever seen. Her skin was creamy white as if she has never gone out or have been hiding in a tall tower ever since.” I had to smile upon hearing hyung’s description of noona. It was very clear that he had fallen deeply in love.


“I watched her as she peacefully slept, unaware that gradually, she already owned bits and pieces of my heart. We stayed that way, her sleeping innocently while I was watching her intently. It was then I felt that my heart was at peace and so I closed my eyes, leaned my head on hers and slept beside her peacefully.”


The audiences erupted into giddy fan girls scream while the other idols, along with the hosts, all hooted, shocked and surprised at how the toughest member of our group could act like a lovesick puppy all of a sudden. I, on the other hand, felt proud of my hyung who have come a long way from being a man who was more interested with his toy collectibles than dating a woman.


I stood up and clapped together with the other people inside the studio. I thought for sure he would win today with that heartfelt confession.


“WOW!! Who would have thought that Vick who assassinated countless innocent people is speaking about an angel and creamy white skin while peacefully sleeping under the beautiful sky of Shiba Park?” Seunggi-sshi’s statement earned a roar of laughter from everyone.


After the laughter had died down, the hosts announced TOP-hyung as the winner by default.


“Up next, I’ve been seeing G-Dragon-sshi smiling and laughing giddily while his hyung was narrating his story. Care to share with us what you have written, G-Dragon-sshi?” Ho Dong-hyung winked at me as he eyed my board. My eyes lit up as I spoke what I have written awhile ago.


“My butterfly who almost flew away.” I repeated what I have written. The audience all buzzed curiously, probably wondering what the heck I was pertaining to then.


“Butterfly? This made me remember you had a song with the same title, neh?” Seunggi-sshi raised his right brow as if asking for my confirmation.


I nodded in agreement. “Neh. It was part of my solo album, ‘Heartbreaker’.” I informed them.


“So tell us, who is this butterfly you were talking about? I believe this is a person as you used ‘who’ instead of ‘that’.” Ho Dong-hyung asked, eyeing me curiously. I saw the audiences hushed, anticipating what my confession would be.


“Rather than elaborating on who she is, I will just share what had happened between the two of us.” I gave a gentle smile as I began my narration.


“I met her way back my training days at YG, around 2004. It was late 2004 when she was introduced to me.” I noticed the room fell quiet as all ears were tuned in to what I was telling.


“She wasn’t wearing anything fancy at all, just a pink shirt, simple jeans and sneakers. I don’t know why but she really caught my eye that day. It was probably her smile.” I looked up and bit my lips, recalling the day I first saw her. “Neh, it was her smile. She really has a great smile.” My smile grew wide as I envisioned her smiling face.


“So you met her in 2004 and you fell in love with her smile?” Ho Dong-hyung asked, curiously. 


I nodded and continued with my story. “Neh. It was love at first sight. After that meeting, I found it hard for me to sleep at night. I kept on seeing her face repeatedly, even if I didn’t mean to. She haunted me every minute, every second ‘til I found myself growing restless until I have done what I had to do.”


I have now complete blocked off the people in the studio. In my mind, it was only me and her in the room, with me confessing what I have felt so long ago.


“2005 came and we become closer to each other. She signed up for the same class that I had together with my best friend. I found out that she had the same dream as I have but was having difficulty reaching for her dream.” I sighed as I remembered how she cried while we were talking on the rooftop of the old YGE building.


“One night, she was crying alone on a rooftop. The rooftop was our own little sanctuary, a place we hid when we wanted to be alone. I approached her and listened to her as she shared her past experiences, all the trials she had gone through and how she survived each one of her trials, though it seemed impossible. That was the time then that I realized that the frail-looking girl beside me was probably the toughest person I have ever met in my entire life.” I smiled once again as I remembered how she smiled in spite of the tears rolling down on her cheeks.


“As she was telling me her story, a red butterfly landed on her knee. I saw how this made her eyes light up, despite the sadness she was feeling. She gently held the butterfly, afraid that it would fly away if she handled it too roughly. We stayed silent for awhile, her watching the butterfly delicately fluttering its wings while I was watching her delicate face in absolute admiration.”


I subconsciously played with the ring in my left finger as I continued on. “After awhile, she lifted her hand and let the beautiful thing fly away. I was confused as I thought she wanted to keep the butterfly for herself. She then turned to me and smiled dreamily as if she was not crying at all earlier.” I shook my head and smiled at the randomness of that girl.


“She told me, ‘Ji, I would love to be like that butterfly. I’d love to spread my wings and fly away, fly away to a peaceful place where there will be no hurt or pain. A place I can call my own, where I can be myself without fear of people judging. A place where I don’t have to worry about harm or negativity. But I know that’s impossible because if I want to reach for my dream, I know I have to forget about that peaceful place I long to be in.'” I remembered that bittersweet smile she gave before looking up to the sky as if letting out a silent prayer.


“I told her then that she could still continue on pursuing her dream without fear of feeling hurt, being judged negatively and being harmed. She laughed and punched me playfully, telling me that I was just joking around. But I was serious. That night, with the stars and the moon as my witness, I swore to her and myself that I would do everything to protect her and keep her away from harm.” I glanced at my ring finger and smiled as I saw the ring that reminded me of my promise to her.


“What happened then? Why did she almost fly away? From your story, it seemed that you two were having a great relationship…” Ho Dong-hyung asked me and I could tell that he was too engrossed with my story.


I sighed as I remembered the night I broke her heart. “We did. We had such a great relationship that people around us envied what we had. You see, our relationship was built with friendship and trust as our foundation. But one night, I broke her trust.” I shook my head sadly as I regretted that thing that I did.


“You cheated on her?” Seunggi-sshi’s eyes narrowed and I wondered if he knew who the butterfly I was talking about.


“Ani. I told her a lie to push her away.” The crowd gasped again. “I told her that I was getting tired of our relationship and I wanted to end it.” I bowed my head as I remembered all the hurtful words I told her that night.


“But why did you say that??” I looked at my back and saw comedian Jung Juri eyeing me with a frown. I guess I deserved that.


“Because I wanted to protect her. I was already an idol then, a controversial idol at that. I didn’t want to drag her name into my scandals. She was far too fragile to be involved in those dirty scandals. She had gone through a lot and the last thing I wanted was to add to her pain.” I confessed. 


“But you did. You added to her pain when you broke her heart with your lies.” I gasped when I realized that Byul-noona was also part of the guests. She was seated across me from the left side.


I looked at her and saw anger in her eyes and I nodded, acknowledging my fault. “Neh. I was too rash and a fool to think that that would be the solution to our problem. I didn’t realize that what I did only hurt her more…” I felt a tear rolled down my eye and soon after, fresh tears flowed uncontrollably.


“I love her. God I love her so much! There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to have her by my side and if only she knew how much it killed me to say all those things to her… I felt as if I was slowly dying while I was telling her my lies.” I was bawling now, uncaring if people would talk about me tomorrow with a headline “G-Dragon cried like a baby in Strong Heart”.


“So the two of you broke up?” Seunggi-sshi asked, his face unreadable.


“Neh. She went away for a long time and I thought that her being away would do good for both of us. It did good for her as I heard she have finally moved on but it wasn’t the same for me…”


“Every day without her was like torture for me. Everything I saw, every place I went to, every song I heard, it all reminded me of her. It all reminded me of how stupid I was to let go of the most important person in my life. It reminded me of how big a fool I was to let my butterfly fly away.” I wiped the tears from my face and tried my best to smile.


“But then she came back. She walked into my life once again, though she’s now a little different from the butterfly who once fluttered her wings for me. I realized that a lot has changed over the time that we spent apart. If before her heart only belonged to me, I was now sharing it with another.” I gave a brief glance towards Nichkhun who was staring at me with an unreadable expression.


“So you’re butterfly has found another mate, is that what you were trying to say?” Narsha-sshi of BEG, asked me. I looked at her and nodded.


“Something like that, although they are not official yet. That’s when I realized that I should do everything to get her back. I started wooing her again.” I smiled genuinely as I remembered our date earlier.


“And until now, I am still wooing her. I swore to myself that this time, I will never let my butterfly fly away from me again.” I finished as I glanced at Nichkhun, making him know that I meant everything I have said. He just smiled at me meaningfully, as if telling me he wouldn’t back away from my challenge.


I heard the people inside the studio erupted into thunderous applause and cheers. They seemed to be touched by my story.


“Aigoo, I was crying the whole time he was telling his story. Yoona-sshi is one lucky girl! G-Dragon-oppa, marry me!” Kim Hyo Jin-noona screamed like a fan girl which got the people laughing. Though I wanted to tell her that no, Yoona is not my butterfly but Dara is, I just decided to play along with it as I remembered Dara’s words to me last night. I did not want to upset her.


“Hayssst! You must cross my dead gorgeous body first, Hyo Jin-ah before you get to my little dragon. Ain’t that right, oppa?” Jung Juri-noona batted her lashes playfully at me which earned another round of laughter from us.


“HAHAHA! Now it’s time to find out who will win this round. Will it be TOP-sshi’s peaceful Shiba Park sky or G-Dragon-sshi’s butterfly who loves to fly away?” The audiences anticipated the announcement. After a few seconds, the monitor showed a video of me being awarded with a yellow trophy while some confetti filled the screen. I won against TOP-hyung! HAHAHA!


The audiences screamed as TOP-hyung gave me a high-five, acknowledging his defeat.


“Now, let’s see who will be the next one to challenge our Strong Heart winner… Lee Joon-sshi says “Noona, saranghaeyo!”


I drifted off to my own world as Lee Joon-sshi of MBLAQ narrated his story. I wasn’t listening to him at all but his last sentence caught my ear.


“So, I was really embarrassed but I brought myself to say to her ‘Dara-noona, saranghaeyo!’” Lee joon-sshi shyly exclaimed as the audiences cheered him on.


I felt my ears caught fire as I heard him giggled like a schoolboy with a crush.


Fanboy, argggghhhh!!!!


“So the MBLAQ boys dared you to confess your admiration for Sandara-sshi?” Ho Dong-hyung asked, looking amused. The annoying boy who couldn’t seem to wipe that stupid grin off his face, Lee Joon-sshi, blushed as he nodded in agreement.


“Neh. She’s Joon-hyung’s ideal girl!” MBLAQ’s maknae, Mir, who somehow reminded me of Seungri-ah, blurted out unmindfully.


“I like Dara-noona too!” Eunhyuk, a member of Super Junior and Teuk Academy, proudly announced which earned a playful slap from his hyung, Heechul.


“YA! Don’t steal my ideal girl!” Heechul arrogantly exclaimed while gathering his long hair and pulled it into a palm tree hair which earned cheers from the audience. “See. We look alike!” That earned more cheers from the audience while it got sneers from me.


Hmp! He’s old already. He does not even fit D’s description of her ideal man!


A naughty smile crept up my face as I remembered her interview.


‘When I think about my ideal man that I would like to date, G-Dragon comes into mind…’


I couldn't help but let out a giggle upon remembering her confession during one of her interviews.


“G-Dragon-sshi, what we’re you giggling about?” Ho dong-hyung teased me. I raised my hands and waved them frantically. 


“Aniyo!” I laughed with the audiences.


“Arasso. Moving on, let’s see if Lee Joon-sshi’s confession to Dara Park will beat G-Dragon-sshi’s flying butterfly.” The audience all cheered as I won again.


“WOW, G-Dragon-sshi! You’re such a hit!” Seunggi-shhi teased me while I gave off a big smile.


“Arasso. Let’s move on to another idol who we know has a lot of screaming fans. It’s 2PM’s beastly idol, NICHKHUN-SSHI!”


The audiences erupted in applause and cheers as my rival took on the spotlight.



















“Kamsahamnida, SNSD and Jun Matsumoto! What’s this all about, Nichkhun-sshi?” Seunggi-sshi read aloud which got the people in the studio buzzing about. 


“Neh. I really have to thank them from saving us from a stampede.” I smiled widely as I started narrating my story.


“Us? You were with someone as well?” I nodded to Ho dong-hyung. 


“Neh. I was walking with a friend in Ikebukuro one night. We just had ice cream that night and we were on our way back to our apartment when suddenly, a flock of fans surrounded us. Even though we were in disguises, somehow they were able to recognize us.” I laughed as I remembered how she and I panicked upon seeing the fans gathered around us.


“The fans were multiplying every second that we stood there, frozen. They were asking for autographs, pictures and questions which we did not know how to answer.” My smile grew wider as I remembered how she clung to my arm as if asking for protection.


“What were the fans asking you?” Seunggi-sshi asked me. I recalled some of the questions of the fans and smiled briefly.


“A lot. They were asking why we were out when it was already midnight. They also asked if we were dating because they said that we look good together. They asked how long we’ll be staying in Japan. Those type of thi~~”


“Fans asked if the two of you were dating? You were probably out with a famous celebrity as well seeing as how both of you needed to disguise yourself and the fans thought you two looked good together.” Oh crap. I talked too much!


“Neh, she’s a celebrity friend.” I admitted nervously, though still smiling to conceal my nervousness.


Ho Dong-hyung let out a sneaky smile. “Why don’t you give us a clue on who this celebrity friend of yours is?” He cocked his eyebrows at me teasingly. 


I felt myself blushing at his teasing. I cleared my throat and decided to do my own “hinting”.


“She’s a member of a famous girl group.” The fans went wild upon hearing my first hint.


“MORE! MORE!” Seunggi-sshi taunted me which I replied to with laughter.


“ANI! ANI!” I waved my hands frantically, telling him I won’t reveal anything, anymore.


“Anyway, we were frantically thinking of ways to get out of that sticky situation.” I hastily continued with my story so that the hosts wouldn’t be able to pry further.


“The first thing that came to mind was to point at a random guy and yell out ‘Look! It’s Jun Matsumoto!” I re-enacted how I was able to divert the attention from us to the very famous Jun Matsumoto-wannabe which made the audiences broke into fits of laughter.


“Jun Matsumoto is a very popular idol in Japan so it was natural for the fans to turn their attention towards the supposed idol. That gave us the opportunity to escape. Seeing as how the fans got distracted, I grabbed her hand and we ran as fast as we could.” The audiences laughed and cheered as I shyly admitted what we did.


“Two weeks after that, we had ice cream again and again, fans caught us walking in the street. This time, it was her who yelled out ‘Look! It’s Girls’ Generation!’ The fans screamed and turned their attention to a group of girls who were supposed to be SNSD but turned out to be just normal girls enjoying a night out. She grabbed my hand and we ran again as fast as we could.” The audiences laughed even more.


“WAAA! The girl you were with seemed to be playful, neh?” Ho Dong-hyung asked me which earned a big smile from me.


“Neh. She’s a very playful rabbit.” I laughed as I recalled how dorky she looked running and screaming like a kid while we were being chased by fans.


I felt someone watching me intently and I guessed right. To my left, Jiyong was looking at me with eyes that seemed to emit fire.


“Which other celebrities you used other than Jun Matsumoto and SNSD on your night outs with this playful rabbit of yours?” Ho Dong-hyung probed further. I recalled the other nights we escaped that predicament and I let out a laughter.


“Won Bin, Inoue Mao, KAT-TUN and TVXQ.” The audiences laughed and cheered as I admitted shyly, blushing as I made a “Sorry, Sorry” hand gesture to the camera in apology to the celebrities I mentioned for using their name.


“HAHAHAHA! That was hilarious! The fans must have been fuming mad at the two of you for fooling them in six occasions!” Seunggi-sshi laughed as he looked at me.


“To our fans, mianhe. We just didn’t know what to do.” I stood up and bowed in apology. The hosts along with the guests and audiences laughed harder. The atmosphere of the studio was very light except for a dark aura looming in my left side.


Jiyong, somehow, didn’t find anything hilarious about my story.


“So you admitted to using six celebrities during your night outs with this celebrity friend of yours.” A sneaky smile crept up Ho Dong-hyung’s face and I felt myself suddenly shuddering in anxiety. “Does that mean you went out on six different night outs with this celebrity friend of yours who belongs to a famous girl group but will not be named?” Crap! Why is he so good at this???


“Neh.” I admitted, feeling my cheeks turned redder than they already were.


“Nichkhun-sshi, isn’t it in an interview, you admitted that you were the closest with Dara-sshi among the 2NE1 members?” Seunggi-sshi suddenly asked out of nowhere. I saw Ho Dong-hyung’s eyes lit up as if an idea came to mind.


“Neh, I watched that! When you were asked in Music Station before your ‘Don’t Go Away’ performance with 2NE1, you admitted that you were spending more time with Dara-sshi than the other 2NE1 girls, neh?” Ho Dong-hyung asked me, his sneaky smile never leaving his face.


The audiences’ screams and cheers grew louder as my cheeks turned redder.


“Neh.” I admitted shyly which earned a loud scream from the people inside the studio. I could see that even the staff were all gathered together, holding each other's hands and giggling.


“Could it be that it was Dara-sshi who was with you when your fans caught you during those six night outs?” Seunggi-sshi asked excitedly. The studio was now filled with excited murmurs and whispers while I felt myself getting tongue-tied, lamely.


“I… ah… uhm… let’s just keep it a secret on whoever was with me that time.” The crowd groaned as I bowed my head in apology. They cheered though when they noticed me getting flustered.


“Aww, it seems we will be having a hard time making Nichkhun-sshi confess who the girl was. Let’s just play a game then.” Ho Dong-hyung smiled mischievously as he looked at me. I felt the hairs in my arms stood up as I looked at him inquisitively.


“We will ask you to choose among female idols. The idol you will choose should be the idol who you like or you find more attractive. The last idol you will choose will be named your ideal girl. Let’s call this game ‘The Ideal Girl Cup’!” A loud music blared as I felt beads of sweat formed in my head.


“Arasso! First stop, Miss A’s Suzy…” I looked at the monitor which showed a picture of Suzy-sshi smiling demurely. “… or T-ara’s Eunjung?!” I was more familiar with Suzi-sshi since we were under the same agency. Hmmm… neh. She’s the safe choice. I thought.


“Suzi-sshi!” I answered which earned cheers from the audiences.


“Arasso! For the next round…” The music played on again. I was getting comfortable now as I felt that was just an innocent game.


“SNSD’s Taeyeon or Wonder Girls’ Sohee?” I smiled as I already knew who I would pick. Of course, my fellow labelmate was the safest choice.


“Sohee-sshi!” I answered as the audience cheered again.


We were now down to the final cup. Ho Dong-hyung explained that this time, I had to choose between Suzi-sshi and Sohee-sshi.


I felt now my forehead perspiring. Who would I choose between the two when the girl of my dreams was not one of them?


When I finally made a decision on who I would choose, Ho Dong-hyung changed the way he asked his question which made me flinched and decided to change my answer.


“Miss A’s Suzi –sshi or Wonder Girls’ Sohee-sshi? The person I love is…”


I yelled my answer with much conviction.


“Sandara Park!”


The room fell silent before erupting into the loudest thunderous applause and cheers I have ever heard in my entire life.