What is Right? What is Wrong?




I stepped out of the studio and went to my favorite place in the Avex Group Headquarters. The scene from the balcony was calming. Contrary to the busy street below, the morning sky was blissful, a haven to local birds flying carelessly.


The scene inside was overwhelming on my part. Ever since she came back with him after last night, it seemed that something has changed. It was as if suddenly, I couldn’t bring myself to go near her. Like a huge barricade had been formed between us.


I noticed that she would cast me a look every now and then, would smile at me every now and then. But even her most radiant smile, the smile that had been my vitamins to go through the day, could not make me smile sincerely now. 


Maybe it was the knowledge that person who once held her heart had come back to claim her. 


Probably it was the knowledge that whatever we had during the past months could easily be erased with the memory of her past love.


What am I to you, Dara?


Who am I to you?


I looked up to the sky.


How come the peaceful sky can’t even calm my restless heart?


Then I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I didn’t have to turn around to recognize that touch.


“Practice’s done?” I asked her. 


“Aniyo. CL-roo and Minji-ah are doing their piece.” She said softly.


I didn’t say anything. I just continued watching the sky.


“Khun Khun…” She started.


“Hmm?” I murmured, signaling for her to continue.


“Are you mad at me?” She asked me hesitantly.


I turned around and faced her.


“Why would I be mad at you, noona?” I asked with a smile.


She looked down and fidgeted with her fingers. “You seemed to be avoiding me inside the studio…”


I looked at her, waiting for her to continue. She looked shy and unsure.


“It was like you became cold to me after I came back from last night.” She finished.


I just looked at her and examined her face. When I did not say anything, she spoke some more.


“Are you mad at me because of last night?” She asked, this time she asked it without any hesitation.


“Why would I be mad of you because of last night?” I asked her curiously.


“Well, I texted you last night that I was on my way home and I guess I thought you guys waited for so long and…”


“Aniyo. I understand.” I told her sincerely.


“I knew you needed time to clear things out with him. You owe that to yourself.” Dara nodded.


“Kansamhamnida, Khun Khun…” She bowed her head in gratitude. I turned my back to her and watched the sky again.


“But it doesn’t mean I’m happy with it.” I admitted, bowing my head as pang of guilt ran through me. I know it was unfair to burden her with my feelings but I knew I shouldn’t go on with my charades any longer.


‘Khun Khun…” She said as she hesitantly placed her hand on my shoulder. I turned around again to meet her eyes.


“I saw how you suffered the first time you saw him here. Have you forgotten that, Dara?” I noticed her flinched, probably surprised that I didn’t call her noona for the first time.


“It’s not that we’re getting back together…” She started. “He just wants another chance. He said he’ll court me again and he’s willing to wait until I’m finally ready to accept his love again…”


I smiled. “It seems you have already made up your mind, then.” I told her, looking at her meaningfully.


She just stared at me and bit her lip, looking like a little kid lost and unaware of where to go.










I contemplated the words of Khun Khun as I made my way back to the studio.


“It seems you have already made up your mind, then.”


Have I really made up my mind?


Did I just rush things because I succumbed to the feelings of the past?


I shook my head vigorously.


Aniyo! I decided to give Jiyong a chance because that is what my heart wants.


I genuinely want to give him a chance. I don’t want to live a life of regret, not knowing what could have happened if I didn’t give Jiyong a second chance.


But what about Khun Khun?


I heard a little voice whispered in my head. I was confused. 


Why would Khun Khun have anything to do with this?


“But it doesn’t mean I’m happy with it.”


Aniyo! Khun Khun only treats me as his noona. He’s just overly protective of me because he knows how much I suffered before. He just did not want me to endure that kind of pain again.


I tried so hard to convince myself that that was the reason behind his sudden change of action. Yet, I continue to have this nagging feeling he was trying to convey something else.


But I don’t want to read too much into his actions. I know he only sees me as his noona and nothing else.


I entered the studio where Jiyong happily greeted me with his disarming smile.


“Dara-sshi!” He waved frantically, like a little boy who spotted his crush.


I smiled at him and waved back. I approached Big Bang and sat in between Jiyong and Seungri.


“Noona, noona!” My smile grew bigger upon hearing my favorite greeting of Seungri.


“Seungri-ah, you’re still soooo cute!” I pinched his cheek. Jiyong narrowed his eyes at their maknae.


“Ya! Stop acting cutesy with Dara-sshi!” He pouted. I laughed as Seungri stuck his tongue out to him.


“So what if I do? As far as I know you’re still not noona’s boyfriend yet. And noona finds me cute. Right, noona?” He twinkled his eyes at me. Jiyong was ready to pounce on him.


”Why you pabo…!!!!” Daesung stopped Jiyong from getting to Seungri while the latter hid behind me.


“Hyung, don’t do it! He’s not worth it!” Daesung cried out, struggling to restrain Jiyong who was still fuming and wanted to break free. Seungri widened his panda eyes at Dae-dae.


“What do you mean ‘not worth it’, huh? You want to lose your precious Doraemon collection?!” Seungri challenged, still hidden behind me. Youngbae, Tabi and I were laughing our off watching the whole scenario.


Daesung looked at him gravely. “Leave my Doraemon collection alone.” He warned, his voice dangerously low.


“Then stay out of this!” Seungri stuck his tongue again. Daesung let go of Jiyong and as he broke free from the grasp, he ran towards the maknae.


“Noona, noona! Save me!” Seungri wailed, struggling to hide behind me. I smiled at them before putting a serious face.


“Kwon Jiyong…” I warned the attacker. Jiyong had a pained look on his face.


“Please, Dara-sshi. Just this once. Let me pull that tongue of that pabo.” He pleaded. My eyes twinkled in amusement.


“Now now, Jiyongie. That’s not the way to treat your maknae.” I gently patted Seungri’s head like I was patting Tam-Tam. Jiyong heaved a long sigh before retreating to his spot.


“Arasso…” He bowed his head. Seungri came out from behind me and stuck his tongue out to Jiyong triumphantly. Jiyong raised his head in time to catch him doing that and prepared to attack again.


“NOONA, NOONA! LOOK!” Seungri pointed towards Jiyong who was ready to attack again and hid behind me once more, using me as his shield against their Great Kwon Leadah.








2PM could not believe that the guys who were acting like little kids having petty fights are actually Big Bang, the phenomenal boy group in South Korea.


Junsu’s mouth hung open watching Big Bang ran around like loud rowdy kids. 


“Seriously, these guys are our seniors?” He asked their group. All the remaining members nodded like robot, mesmerized at the display of immaturity in front of him.


“Man, watching them doing that embarrasses me.” Junho covered his eyes as if not wanting to be witness to all that was happening,


“Can you believe that the guy chasing their maknae, running around like his was set on fire,” Wooyoung pointed to Jiyong. “is one of the most influential leaders in South Korea’s music industry today? Spawning hits after hits.” He shook his head in disbelief.


“I actually admire their relationship.” Chansung confessed. All eyes were now at him as if intrigued with what he said.


“I have been talking a lot to Young Bae recently and found out a lot about their group.” He continued. He eyed the tallest in the group, Seung Hyun.


“You see T.O.P. there?” He pointed towards Seung Hyun. “He may be spacing out most of time or randomly blurt out words, but if push comes to shove, you can always rely on him to give you the best advices, no matter how bizarre they may be at times.” The boys nodded, eyeing Seung Hyun intently. Seung Hyun turned to them and gave them a weird, dazed look before focusing his attention to the window.


Chansung chuckled at his groupmates’ baffled expressions. He then motioned for them to turn their attention to Daesung, the chinky-eyed boy laughing.


“Daesung might have his eyes set on Doraemon but most of the time, the group turns to him when most of the members are becoming irrational, especially when it comes to girls. He’s the most sensible in the group and a mere smile from him can be enough to perk you up in the morning.” He smiled remembering Young Bae’s story about how the issue of Seungri not cooking beef was settled with the help o Daesung’s reasoning, using his Doraemon collectibles.


“Seungri…” He looked towards Seungri who was wailing like a kid as Jiyong already captured him and was holding him in a headlock. “He may look playful and annoying most of the time, but he can be the most loyal and faithful friend. Him and Jiyong can be like that most of the time but according to Young Bae, Seungri’s always ready to back the leader up when he needed it.”


“And Young Bae, well I guess he’s the most reasonable among the five. The group looks up to him for being rational and respects his ideas and opinions, even their leader do so.” He finished.


After finishing, he looked at the faces of 2PM. All of them showed once expression: awe.


“Wah, Chansung! Are you planning to do a documentary on Big Bang?” Junho as the group burst out laughing.










Wooyoung was about to get a bottle of water when he noticed his best friend, Nichkhun entered the studio, his shoulders slumped.

Tsk. This does not look good.


He approached Nichkhun and pulled him aside.


“Yo, bro! What’s eating you?” He asked the defeated guy.


“I think I should give her up. She’s happy with Jiyong now.” Nichkhun answered flatly.


Wooyoung studied him. “She said that?” Nichkhun shook his head. “Then what made you think she is?” Wooyoung asked, frustrated with his friend.


“She told me she would be allowing Jiyong to court her again.” Nichkhun sighed. Wooyoung waited.


“And?” He asked. Nichkhun looked at him, confused.


“And what else?” He asked. Wooyoung shook his head.


“You mean to say the only basis you have for you to give up is because Jiyong will be courting her again?” He asked, bewildered.


“Well, Jiyong is her ex and for sur~~”


“For sure noona will entertain him but him courting her doesn’t mean Dara can’t entertain other suitors as well right?” Wooyoung was practically screaming his words already.


“THAT MEANS YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER!!!” Wooyoung was now screaming in Nichkhun’s ear. All the people inside the studio turned to the two, causing embarrassment for Nichkhun.


“Aigoo, Woo! Why’d you have to embarrass me like that??” Nichkhun hissed under his breath. Wooyoung looked at him intently.


“That’s to make sure my words will go through that dense mind of yours.” He pointed towards Nichkhun’s forehead.


NIchkhun looked at Dara who was now being approached by Jiyong. Jiyong sat down beside her and took her hand, gently massaging it. Suddenly, the mere closeness of them sent shockwaves through his body. He shouldn’t be that close to Dara. 

They’re not in a relationship yet. He doesn’t have any right to claim that hand of hers.


He marched his way towards the two with so much determination that all people who he passed by could do to give him ample way to walk on.









I saw Nichkhun approaching us with an intense look on his eyes. It was something I have never seen before in him. He always had gentle and sweet eyes.


He sat down beside me and smiled at us.


“Hi Jiyong. Hi Dara.” He greeted. I gulped as I noticed Jiyong’s smiling eyes narrowed a bit.


I immediately replied, hoping to prevent a possible tension ensuing.


“Hello, Khun Khun!” I greeted enthusiastically. I stole a glance at Jiyong and noticed his eyes narrowing even more.


Omona!


Khun Khun smiled at me, the brightness of his aura coming back. “By the way, noona, the boys are planning to go karaoke later. You and the girls can come if you want to.” I saw a glint in Jiyong’s eye. Nichkhun, if ever he noticed it, just ignored it.


“WOW! I missed going to the karaoke. Alright, I’ll tell the girls.” I excitedly said despite my nervousness.


I heard Jiyong cleared his throat.


“Ok. What time should we be there?” He asked as he looked at Nichkhun. Nichkhun waved his hands playfully.


“Aniyo, it’s ok. We know that Big Bang is very busy at the moment and we do not wish to disturb you.” He answered. I could feel the sincerity there.


Jiyong let out a small laugh.


“But I insist. This might prove to be the best bonding time we can have to start building our CAMARADERIE.” I noticed the emphasis on ‘camaraderie’.


Nichkhun became serious. “It’s nothing fancy really. Just same old karaoke, you know.” He stared at the Jiyong with sharp eyes.


“Just the way we like it.” Jiyong winked at him. Nichkhun paused for a while and looked at Jiyong intently.


The two took their time sizing each other up. I held my breath, anticipating who would be the first to break the stare.


It was Jiyong. “Arasso.” He turned to me. “You’ll just ride with me?” He asked me, holding my right arm.


Before I could answer, Nichkhun held my left arm. “Aniyo. She’s riding with us.”