A Confession of a Lonely Heart




Awkward, that's probably the best word to describe me, Sandara Park.


People who weren't close to me used to say that they feel a certain awkwardness whenever they were with me. I couldn't blame them though for thinking that way since I knew that I, myself, found it hard to open myself to new people or speak with them comfortably.


Another aspect of myself that made people feel awkward around me would probably be my fickle-mindedness. Yes, I am not perfect and I am not afraid to admit my weakness. Along with this unwanted trait that I have, I am also a moody person. My friends could attest to how easy it was for my mood to change, in as fast as a split second.


It was no wonder I was stuck in a sticky situation now. Eleven months ago, my heart was broken into pieces, shattered like a fragile glass that shook my whole being.


Three long grueling months after, I made a vow. I vowed to myself that I will never let that man be a part of my life again.


I moved on with my life. I met new friends and with head held high, I took on life's every strife. Significant people entered my life and one particular person left a mark that was hard to erase no matter how I may try.


Khun Khun.


He was there for me when I broke down after seeing Jiyong for the first time after our break-up. It was his shoulder that I leaned on when things were beginning to get rough. It was his smiles that cheered me up whenever the day was throwing me with countless crap.


It was him who helped me rebuild the broken Sandara Park.


He became my friend, my ally, my confidant. He knew things about me that even Bommie, my dear best friend, could never understand. He was that something/someone familiar in a cold, lonely, foreign land.


I later on realized that he was playing a major role in my life, much more major than what I expected. Spending more time with him, I’ve gotten to know the side of him that could make any girl's heart flutter and cheeks turn red.


Needless to say, I was one of those girls whose heart fluttered and cheeks turned red with his single gesture. He was so transparent that even a person deemed dense such as I could tell that his intentions are pure.


The night before we went back to Korea, I was ready to give my heart to him. Finally, after a long period of waiting for my heart to be at peace, I found the assurance I was waiting for and decided to offer my heart to the man who eventually became the man of my dreams.


Fate, however, seemed to have found me as its favorite source of entertainment. The night of our return to Korea, my heart made a complete U-Turn and found its way back to where it originally went. He came marching into my life once again and the once stable heart of mine did back flips, somersaults and cartwheels much to my dismay and amazement.


Kwon Jiyong.


Yes, how easy it was for him to turn my perfect world upside down with the mere sight of his piercing eyes and heady gazes I have craved for so long.


Kwon Jiyong. No, I shouldn't have let you into my life again and yet, I did and now, you're causing my heart to falter and do things I know would be so wrong.


Kwon Jiyong. Maybe, just maybe, this heart of mine still longs for you no matter how I try to deny.


Kwon Jiyong, don't look at me with those eyes. You know how it breaks my heart to see you cry.


Kwon Jiyong, it's not fair. It's just not fair that my heart still longs for you when I have already promised another man that I'll always be there.


Kwon Jiyong, do you know just how much I yearned to be in your arms again and yet, my mind tells me that I still can't fully trust you? It pains me to know that you still love me, that you still long to be with me but all we can do is just watch each other from afar because that's the right thing to do.


You are bound to your promise to your fans to love and treasure Yoon-ah while I am bound to my vow to myself to open my heart to Khun Khun, the man in my life who remained constant...





“What are you doing, Jiyong?” I asked him as he placed his jacket on both our heads, protecting us from the heavy rain that has fallen.



“Protecting us from the rain. Artists like us cannot afford to get sick. You and the girls are going to perform Lonely in Inkigayo, right? How do you expect to perform well if you start sneezing and have runny nose?” He spoke like a true sunbae but underneath his bossy tone, I could hear the genuine sound of concern.


“Kamsahamnida, Jiyongie and sorry for making you worry.” I bowed my head from shame at my clumsiness and also to hide my cheeks which were now forming into a shameful reddish color.


“YA! YA! You always make me worry!” He scolded me as we resumed walking. Even in the heavy rain, there were still quite a number of people walking around the busy streets of Myeong-doong. “Why are you walking out here when it’s raining heavily? And where is your car by the way? You shouldn’t be walking here without a disguise!” He added furiously.


“I was wearing one earlier!” I said defensively. “I just put it down while eating ramyun and some kid ran away with it.” I pouted while keeping up with the Great Dragon’s strides.


“I knew it! That ramyun does you no good, really. HAYSSST!!!” He hastened his pace as the rain intensified. We made a dash to the nearest phone booth and locked ourselves inside it to keep us warm and away from the unforgiving rain.


Though the booth was quite small, we still managed to fit inside, thanks to our skinny bodies. I stared at him and let out a giggle.


“WHAT??!” He asked rather harshly but it didn’t stop me from giggling. I was so used to his tantrums that I knew it was nothing.


“You look so funny looking wet and angry! HAHA!” I grabbed my stomach when I saw him flare up even more from anger. I swear I could see smoke coming out of his ear, nose and mouth. OMO! He’s indeed a dragon! HAHAHAHAHA!


If his flared up anger wasn’t able to make me stop laughing, the change in his expression, however, made me gulp in fear. “So you think this is funny, huh, Sandara?” He asked me with a voice so dangerously low. I meekly started backing off little by little as he charged towards me with a dangerously slow pace. “You think getting me all wet and angry is so DAMN funny, huh?” He asked again, this time showing off a naughty smirk and an evil glint in his eye.


He continued charging while I tried my best to avoid physical contact with him. Somehow, his words and his tone had managed to scare me and at the same time, awoken my sleeping hormones.


“You want to know what happens when I’m REALLY wet and angry, huh, Sandara? Oh, but I think you already know that, don’t you?” He said in a husky, teasing manner. I felt my throat ran dry as I felt the cold, hard wall against my back. Uh-oh. Dead end.


“Why did you stop, Sandara? Nowhere to go to?” He asked with a victorious smirk plastered on his face. CRAP! I silently cursed myself for joining him inside this damn small booth. I’d rather freeze to death outside than die of a heart attack courtesy of the ertness of the Great Kwon Jiyong.


“W-what are you doing, Jiyong?” I asked him nervously as his hand reach towards my face. CRAP! I sounded like a lost little kid. And now, he’s going to touch me??


Relief washed over me as he took a few loose strands of my hair away from my face and tucked them behind my ear. I thought...


“I just tucked your hair.” He chuckled as my cheeks turned red. “You thought I’d touch you inappropriately? Like this...” He glided his finger down my bare arms, causing me to shiver from his touch along with the coldness of the weather.


He must have felt my shiver for he suddenly grabbed me towards him, pulled me into a tight embrace, enveloping me in his comfortable warmth.


“Don’t do that again. D. Don’t run away in the rain again without an umbrella or anything to protect you. I don’t want you to get sick again...” His voice was so gently, as if I was listening to an angel speak. I buried my head on his chest and closed my eyes.


“Minji was feeling sick and needed medicine but there was no stock inside YG.” I said softly.


“Still, you could have asked the staff to buy that or even me. No need to do everything by yourself. You’re not a superhero, you know.” He mildly scolded me while still caressing my hair. It was such a good feeling, being in his arms again like this, although we’re not together anymore.


“I know that. Mian.” I said apologetically, feeling my eyes starting to well in tears.


He released me from his embrace and gently lifted my chin. “Hey, no need to apologize, okay?” He said reassuringly, causing my tears to retract from falling. “I was just worried about you, D. I saw you dashed out of YG and got curious. I thought you were scolded again by hyung so I followed you, thinking you’d need someone to talk to.” He answered seriously. I was deeply touched by his concern for me.


“Mian. I always make you and the people around me worry. It seems that it’s all I ever do.” I told him as I bowed my head in shame.


“Hey, it’s not that.” He lifted my chin again to level my eyes with his. “It’s just that you look so frail that’s why people feel the need to protect you more than the others.” He told me with a smile. In spite of my gloomy mood, I smiled as well.


“Kamsahamnida.” I told him sincerely. I looked outside and saw that the rain had stopped and the sun was now shining brightly. “OH LOOK! It stopped raining!” I said cheerfully.


“Yeah, too bad.” I thought I heard him mutter something with a hint of disappointment but I was not able to catch his words since I was to engrossed at admiring the bright sun that shone.


We both got out of the booth and greeted the warm sunshine that almost blinded our eyes.


I raised my arm towards the direction of my eyes to protect me from the blinding sunlight. I gasped in delight as I saw a beautiful rainbow that formed in the sky. “Look, Ji! RAINBOW!” I squealed in delight. I love rainbows. Rainbow gives me a feeling of calm, serenity and most of all, hope. The rainbow is the hope of something good after a rain of heartaches and failures.


I felt him coming close to me and saw that he lifted his head to look at it as well. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked me.


“IT IS!” I screamed in joy. I heard him chuckle which I just ignored. I was so used of him laughing at my dorkiness. HMP! As if he himself is not dorky... I smirked and continued admiring the rainbow. “You know, this rainbow reminds me a lot about the rainbow you posted in your me2day. The one you shared with me? Both of them are so beautiful!” I sigh in contentment while still looking at the sky.


“So beautiful. My rainbow.” I felt his hot breath tickle my neck as he whispered those words to me. I suddenly raised my hands over my chest to stop the rapid beating of my heart.


I turned to look at him and felt my knees weakened as he pierced my soul with his heady gaze.


I got so lost in his eyes that I failed to notice a bunch of girls hovering close to us.


“OMO! G-DRAGON AND SANDARA PARK!” A girl yelled in delight which caused me to snap back into reality. I looked at Jiyong and saw him shaking his head as if he just awoken from a dream.


My face registered panic as a few more people gathered around us.


“GD! WHY ARE YOU WITH HER AND NOT YOONA?!” An agitated fan asked him.


“YA! DON’T YELL AT HIM!” Another fan chipped in. “I’m eHmz by the way from the Philippines and I’m an appler! Don’t mind her! You two look good together!” I smiled at her meekly, thankful that there was someone who wanted the two of us together.


“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? THEY DON’T LOOK GOOD TOGETHER! GD-OPPA BELONGS TO YOONA ONLY! YA, SANDARA PARK! GO TO NICHKHUN INSTEAD AND LEAVE GD-OPPA ALONE!” She tried to reach for my hair but Jiyong was fast in covering me, protecting me from the wrath of her fan.


“Please...” I started saying meekly. “We’re not doing anything. I-it’s just that~”


“YOU’RE A !” Another fan yelled. My heart contracted as I heard that word but I tried my best to control myself. “YOU WANT ALL MEN FOR YOURSELF. YOU’RE DISGUSTING!”


“HEY! DON’T YELL AT HER LIKE THAT!” Jiyong yelled angrily as he wrapped his arm around me protectively. I pulled on his jacket to stop him from picking a fight with his fans.


“Don’t fight them, Ji. They’re your fans.” I whispered to him. Jiyong looked at me as if I was crazy.


“What? But they’re insulting you!” He complained like a child. I just smiled at him as his fans continued yelling explicits at me.


“They’re shippers. They want you for someone else that’s why they’re enraged when they saw you with me.” I calmly told him. How ironic that I managed to sound calm when inside I felt otherwise.


“Normal? Calling you a is NORMAL?!” His voice is starting to get loud again so I gave him a warning look.


“Just bear with them, Ji. Understand where they’re coming from.” I told him softly. He stared at me for a long time and sighed.


“WHAT A ! TOTALLY NO SHAME!” An angry fan yelled. I felt Jiyong’s arms tightened against mine and I felt protected. Some fans followed and for awhile, I feared I would be thrown with tomatoes and eggs until a voice screamed.


“STOP HURTING DARA-NOONA!”


My head snapped into the direction of the voice and saw Seungri running towards us.



“SEUNGRI-AH!” I yelled. I saw Jiyong gave him a nod in gratitude.


“Seungri, please accompany your noona to YG. I’ll take care of this.” Jiyong ordered his maknae. I was about to protest but he continued. “Don’t worry about the medicine, D. I’ll bring it when I get back.” He told me with a serious expression. I found myself smiling at his thoughtfulness despite of my current situation.


Kamsahamnida. I mouthed at him which he understood as he smiled brightly at me.


I turned to Seungri and smiled at him as well. “Baby Panda, thank you!” I said as I battled with the loud voices that continued screaming nasty adjectives towards me.


Seungri smiled at me as well as we walked towards his car. “No need to thank me, noona. I’m the Baby Panda who will save the fated apple couple!” He exclaimed proudly.


“Fated apple couple? Where did that come from?” I laughed at his weird words.


“Oh, nothing noona.” He chuckled as if remembering something. “Just some random thing I read on the internet.” He continued. Surfing the net frequently. This boy gets bored too easily! I laughed silently.


I turned my head towards Jiyong’s direction. He was still there, talking to his fans. He looked so serious that I prayed he would not scold his fans. I don’t want him to get into a scandal again.


“Don’t worry about him, noona. Hyung has a way with words. He won’t get you and himself in trouble. He will surely fix it.” He told me seriously. He probably noticed that concern on my face. He stopped when we reached his car. “Noona, don’t pay attention to what those fans said about you, okay? You’re nothing even remotely close to what they said. They’re just jealous that hyung adores you.” He told me with a smile. This Baby Panda sure knows how to warm the heart of his noona.


“Neh, Seungri-ah. Noona knows that.” I pinched his nose hard which caused him to groan.


“OUCH! That hurts noona!” He yelped in pain. “You’re starting to copy hyung’s habit of violence against me.” He pouted like a cute boy. A cute panda boy.


“You’re just too adorable, Seungri-ah! Your noona couldn’t help it. I giggled.


We both broke into laughter as he started his engine and sped off, leaving the stressful scene forgotten.





You have always protected me, Jiyong. Even if you would get yourself into trouble, you still do it. Yet, here I am, being selfish and insensitive to your feelings.


Yes, you may think I am selfish and insensitive for staying with Khun Khun even though I know that Yoon-ah still has feelings for him and you still love me. But tell me, how do I find my way back to you when every time I try to do so, something or someone will pull us away from each other completely? How will I go back to your arms when every time I start to run towards you, a voice inside me screams that I am hurting the person that has done nothing but loved and supported me unconditionally?


Neh, I would gladly take the blame for being unfair and insensitive, Ji. I know I deserve that completely. But I hope that you also know that no matter how unfair or insensitive I may be in your eyes, I have loved you and cared for you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my being, even leaving nothing to me.


I have loved and cared for you, Ji.


Purely.


Wholeheartedly.


Unconditionally.




















Yoon-ah...


Suddenly, my feet seemed to be rooted on the ground. Dara and I were supposed to have left minutes ago but until now, we remained standing on the same spot, as if something was holding us down.


I looked at her once again, the girl I once loved and adored. The girl whom I promised to cherish and care for. She was right in front of me once again, hurting because of my selfishness, insensitivity and so much more.


I was about to take a step towards her when I realized my hand was still clasped in Dara's hand. Guilt immediately washed over my being upon realizing that I have neglected the girl I was offering my heart to now because of the girl who once owned that part of mine.


I looked at her in apology and to my surprise, her eyes reflected understanding.


“It's okay, Khun Khun. Go to her. She deserves to know the reason behind your actions, at the very least.” She advised me like she always does, showing the admiarable maturity that her youthful beauty has always managed to conceal.


I smiled at her in gratitude, my heart welling even more in admiration for her unwavering kindness.


She excused herself to go to the comfort room though I know it was just some random alibi she conjured to give me a chance to approach Yoona. I silently thanked her and let go of her hand, thanking the heavens as well for sending a woman like her in my life.


I slowly approached Yoona when I heard the door closed gently. When I was just a few feet away from her, I spoke to her meekly.


“Yoona, I know you probably do not want to talk to me right now after everything that has happened but there are some things I need to to tell you.” I told her hesitantly. I saw her face contorted into a frown which made me more nervous than before.


“Weren't you suppose to go out on a date with Dara-unnie?” She answered me indignantly which made me flinch a little. Okay, I deserve that.


“I was... but then I realized I have to talk to you first..” I told her solemnly. I saw her face softened after hearing what I said.


I saw Yuri-sshi reached for her hand as if to warn her about me. Yup, her friends treated me as if I was a man walking around with a contagious disease. Though it's offending, I couldn't cry foul since I knew that I brought that upon myself in the first place.


“Yuri-sshi, Jiyong-sshi, I hope you don't mind if I borrow Yoona for awhile.” I told them politely. Both of them looked at Yoona, anticipating her answer.


She stood up and made her way towards the exit while I remained rooted to the ground. Halfway towards the door, she turned around and looked at me.


“I thought we're going to talk? Why aren't you moving there?” She asked haughtily. I bowed my head to the other people in the room before I made my way towards the door.



























I must have stayed in the comfort room for a good twenty minutes before I left my precious sanctuary.


As soon as I opened the door of the comfort room though, I was greeted with a big surprise.


“I thought you fell asleep there already.”


I jumped in surprise as I found myself faced to faced with the Great Dragon.


He let out a soft chuckle, full of pride for having scared the sh*t out of me.


“JIYONG! What are you doing here?” I asked as I clutched my hand over my chest, still not being able to fully recover from the shock I experienced earlier. Instead of answering my simple question, he leaned forward, putting his face dangerously close to mine. We were so near each other that just a slight movement of his head could already close the gap between us.


He rested his left hand on the wall, trapping me in his confines, making sure I had nowhere else to go.


Aigoo... what is he trying to do?


“J-jiyongie... I asked what you are doing here.” I shifted uncomfortably, trying to strain my body away from his. As if finding our situation amusing, he moved much closer to me, our upper bodies almost touching due to our close proximity.


He moved his face towards mine, a little more and our lips would have touched. I felt my breath got caught on my throat when he suddenly paused and stared at me.


He then broke into fits of laughter, like a goddamned hyena.


“YA!” I punched his chest which made him laughed even more.


“MY GOD YOUR FACE! If you could only see your face earlier...” He laughed again.


“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” I hissed at him and pouted. He continued laughing.


“But it is! HAHA!” HAYSSST THIS GUY! I slapped his arm and started walking out.


Before I could go any farther, he pulled my arm, making me stop on my tracks.


“You thought I would do something erted, right?” He asked with an amused look on his bossy face. I gulped as I remembered something.


Déjà vu?


I leveled my gaze with him and noticed that his expression has changed.


“Why did you let Nichkhun go with Yoona?” He asked me seriously. I felt something heat up inside me.


“Why? Jealous?” I asked him rather irritated at his question.


He stared at me as if trying to read my mind.


“Why would I?” He asked me as if what I said did not make sense.


Yeah right, Jiyong.


“I don’t know. Maybe because you were enjoying it so much when she was feeding you earlier...” I tried my best to sound nonchalant. He continued staring at me and after a moment, he bit his lip which curved into a one-sided smile, as if figuring out something.


“Are you, jealous, Sandara?” He asked me teasingly. He would always call me Sandara when he wanted to tease me.


“JEALOUS? ME? Why should I?” I said defensively. He just chuckled.


“You’re jealous.” He smirked at me. I just narrowed my eyes at him.


“IN YOUR DREAMS, KWON JIYONG!” I retorted.


“Oh, believe me. You’re always in it.” He replied coolly.


Okay. I admit that made my heart stop.


Oh, my dear internal organ, please don’t fail me now! I still have a lot to do and dreams to pursue. Omma, Durami and Doongie are all depending on me...


I sighed in relief as my heart beat once again.


“Ya! I’m leaving.” I told him as soon as I recovered from the little heart attack he caused.


“I’ll take you home.” He insisted as we started exiting Wookie’s restaurant. “It’s already late. I’m sure you didn’t bring your car.” He said meaningfully.


I raised an eyebrow at him. “What makes you think I didn’t bring my car?” I asked, curiously.


“Well, I assume you were on a date with Nichkhun earlier.” He flinched a little as he said the words “date” and “Nichkhun”. “A girl would not bring her car if she’s in a date. The guy normally drives her to their destination.” He answered.


“Well, I’m not just any other girl.” I told him confidently. He then eyed me suspiciously.


“You brought your car?” He asked curiously. I paused for awhile before aswering.


“Aniyo.” I answered with a wide smile.


“HAYYSSST! What a dork.” He shook his head and laughed at my randomness.


“Come on. I’ll take you home. You have a photo shoot tomorrow afternoon, right?” I looked at him in surprise.


“H-how did you know?” I asked him, surprised at his knowledge of my activity.


“I’m your stalker.” He told me eerily. I suddenly shivered.


“YA, KWON JIYONG! That’s not funny!” I pouted at him while continuously slapping his arms. He laughed once again.


“But it is funny! This girl... HAYYYSSSST! You’re so gullible.” He flicked my forehead and continued laughing.


“OUCH!” I groaned as I rubbed my abused forehead. “Why’d you do that? You’re so mean! What kind of sunbae would do that to his hoobae?!” I complained like a child. He looked at me seriously.


“I had to do that because you are too gullible, Dara.” He stuck his tongue out at me. “Of course I know your schedule. I’m one of your producers!” He told me arrogantly.


Realization then sunk into my system. “Oh... right.” I muttered as I felt my cheeks heating up.


Me and my stupid assuming mind!


He laughed even more when he saw my baffled expression.


“HAYSSST, SANDARA PARK!” He exclaimed like a child when we were already outside a deserted alley.


“YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH LIKE THIS!” He yelled even louder while still laughing.


I stared at him and felt my smile grew bigger.


HAYSSSSST, KWON JIYONG! YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE MY HEART STOP AND BEAT WILDLY LIKE THIS!


I screamed in silence, locking those words inside my heart.

























Somewhere outside Seoul, two lost souls were looking out in the open sea. Silence surrounded the two as they listened to the sound of the water streaming peacefully and the gentle nightly breeze enveloping them with its coldness.


He broke their silence, finally speaking the words that had been a year and a half late.


“Yoon-ah, mianhe.” He told her softly.


“That’s a year and half too late, don’t you think?” She answered coldly. Her voice resonated the coldness of the night.


“It is and I apologize for that.” He answered remorsefully.


“What took you so long to realize just how big of a jerk you had been to me?” She asked him, her voice straining to let the hurt show.


“Because I thought that what I did back then was to protect you. I didn’t know that more than protecting you, I was hurting you more.” He replied as he bowed his head, ashamed of the pain he had caused her.


“Why did you have to protect me? Am I a child or something?” She chuckled, letting her bitterness slide in .


“You’re someone fragile in my life, Yoon-ah. I felt the need to protect you from all the harsh fans that attacked you.” He told her painfully.


Despite the bitterness she was feeling, she felt her heart soften. “And I am no longer like that in your life right now, right, Khun? It’s already Dara-unnie, right?” She asked him, struggling to keep her tears from falling.


“Yoon-ah...” He came close to her and was about to reach for her arms when she stopped him.


“Don’t touch me.” She said coldly.


“You have no right to touch me after all the things you’ve done to me.” She added as she turned her back on him. Her voice was cold and unforgiving.


Nichkhun felt a sharp pain in his heart after hearing her words. Before he could stop it, tears started escaping his eyes.


“Yoon-ah...” He ignored Yoona’s words and held her tightly, afraid that if he let go, she would suddenly fly away from him.


“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Yoonie.” He spoke to her just like he did when they were still together. “I couldn’t stand seeing you get hurt by what people were saying. The scandals, the nasty comments, the hateful words... I knew that they were taking a toll on you. I couldn’t forgive myself seeing you hurt like that.” He told her as tears continuously fell from his eyes.


“So you hurt me instead?” She asked as her own tears finally flowed freely from her eyes. Her back was turned against him so she let her tears fall freely.


“I thought that if I left you, people would stop harassing you. I thought that by being a jerk to you, it would be easier for you to forget me and move on with your life. I knew that if I told you the real reason back then why I wanted to break up with you, you will just hang on to us and endure all the pain that would come your way...” His voice was filled with pain and remorse. He held on tighter to her as he heard her crying along with him. Their tortured souls were united with their tears.


“I’d rather endure that pain than this.” She held on to her heart and felt her tears spilling even more. “It hurts so much, Khun. It hurts so much to see you falling for someone else.” She cried all the hurt and pain she was feeling.


“Why her, Khun? Why Dara-unnie?” She turned to look at him. Nichkhun still held on to her, not breaking his grasp on her. “Why someone who I cannot despise or hate?” She yelled in frustration.


“Why not Victoria, huh? So I could spend all my days cursing her and making fun of her stupid little very mean face!” She exclaimed furiously.


“Why Dara-unnie? Why can’t I hold a grudge against her for stealing your heart?” She cried and broke down. Nichkhun just held on to her as she was his lifeline.


“Why can’t I hate her for making you love her enough to hurt me? Why did you have to love someone like her, her that stops me from stealing you away?” She asked him as she punched his chest repeatedly.


“I didn’t mean to fall for her...” Nichkhun said softly while he caressed her back, hoping to at least give a little comfort to her.


“But you did. You did fall for her.” She cried in pain.


“I didn’t know that falling for her would cause you this much pain, Yoonie. I thought you have forgotten about me...” He said sadly.


“But I didn’t Khun. This heart is too stubborn to forget you.” She punched her chest softly.


“Mianhe, Yoonie... Mianhe...”


It was all that he could tell her for he was being eaten by all the pain, remorse and guilt he was feeling.


She was somehow relieved that he didn’t add anything further. She was content in feeling his arms wrapped around her.


She looked up to the sky and let out a silent prayer.


Even for just this night, please let him be mine...


She tightened her hold on him, afraid that the moment she loosen her grasp, he would fly away from her.


Tomorrow, I will return her to unnie.


Just please, let him be mine tonight.


They held each other in silence, letting their tears and their heartbeat resonate throughout the peaceful night.



















Inside Yeolbong, two forgotten people were left in awkward silence.


*SOUND OF FINGERS FIDGETING WITH TABLE CLOTH*


*COUGH COUGH*


*UTENSILS GENTLY CLANKING WITH A PLATE*


*COUGH COUGH COUGH*


*CRICKETS*


*SILENCE*


*NERVOUS COUGH*


*CRICKETS CRICKETS*


*CLEARING OF THROAT*


“Uhm, Youngbae?” A brave soul finally broke the deafening silence inside the room.


“Neh, Yuri-ah?” The other person asked nervously. Since earlier, he couldn’t look at Yuri straight in the eye.


“Uhm...” The brave soul paused, as if gathering her thoughts. Youngbae stole a glance at her and saw her nervously playing with the table cloth.


After awhile...


“Nothing.” She finally answered and bowed her head. She heaved a sigh, mad at herself for losing her tongue.


Another awkward silence engulfed the room.


The silence became too deafening that they both decided to speak their minds.


“Do you want to~”


Both of them stopped upon realizing that they’ve spoken the same thought.


And when realization sunk in, both broke into genuine laughter.


Youngbae wiped the tear that had fallen from his eye from too much laughter and looked at Yuri without hesitation unlike earlier. “Yuri-ah, do you want to go somewhere?” He mustered all his courage to speak those words.


Yuri’s face lit up upon hearing Youngbae’s invitation. “What do you have in mind?” She asked him playfully.


Youngbae hesitated, afraid she was going to turn him down. “Uhm... I... uh... a walk in the park or something?” He answered uncertainly.


Yuri paused for awhile as if contemplating on his offer. Youngbae gulped and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. His mowhawk hair was beginning to bend down along with his pride.


After a long grueling seconds of waiting, Yuri let out a smile, a smile that blinded the already tiny slit of an eye of Youngbae.


“That would be perfect!” She exclaimed as she excitedly dragged the chuckling Youngbae out of the restaurant.