The Price of Fame




I felt my heart stopped beating as I felt myself landed on the rough, unforgiving ground.


Pain...


Why am I feeling you now?


I should be numb. I shouldn't be breathing.


But why am I still feeling you?


Pain...


I closed my eyes but opened it once again after I felt an excruciating pain.


I squinted my eyes, convince that if death didn't take me earlier, it would certainly now, considering the immense pain I was feeling all over my body.


I felt myself gradually losing strength, my breath coming in in short gasps.


I raised my arms slowly, feeling a heavy burden preventing me from doing so.


Exerting much effort, I struggled to twist my body and see what the burden was.


And right before my body gave up, I saw the last vision I have expected to see.


Lying beside me with arms firmly holding me was him, looking at me with bewildered eyes.


I raised my hand again, determined to touch him. At least it would somehow make me feel that I was still alive.


I caressed his face and with my last remaining strength, I whispered softly,


"Khun Khun..."

































I was frantically running with the fastest pace, determined to bring her to safety.


Dara, why did you do that?!


She was almost lifeless in my arms, blood gushed out from several cuts from her body.


I was on my way to her dorm to when I saw her standing in the middle of the road with a dazed look on her eyes.


She made tentative turns, as if she was utterly confused as to where she would be heading to.


Just I was about to run towards her, I saw a speeding truck emerged out of nowhere.


I felt my breath got caught on my throat as I saw her still standing unfazed, rooted to the ground.


Without thinking twice, I dashed towards her, determined to pull her out of danger.


Her eyes were focused on the truck honking loudly at her, not even realizing I was already nearing her.


Then she made a turn, a stupid turn just as I was about to pull her towards me.


With all the strength I could muster, I lunged towards her and held her tight, pulling her towards me to the unforgiving ground.


It was a hard fall but I didn't care, as long as she was lying safe on the ground.


I felt my body ache, probably from the impact of our fall but she was worse.


Her arms and legs were filled with cuts and bruises due to her hard fall.


The impact of our fall caused me to lose my grip on her, causing her body to bounce off the ground.


I immediately crawled my way towards her and held her in my arms, determined not to let her go.


"Dara..."


I whispered softly to her ear.


She was still breathing but looking at her almost lifeless body made me shake in fear.


Please wake up, Dara. Please wake up...


And she did. She opened her eyes but squinted as she felt a huge amount of pain.


I cradled her in my arms and rocked her slowly, even if I, myself was gradually weakening.


I couldn't be weak right now. i have to give her strength.


She opened her eyes once again and twister her body to look at me.


She held out her hand and gently caressed my face.


I thought I saw a faint smile as she did.


And with a voice as soft and soothing as an angel, she whispered my name.


"Khun Khun..."



















I was pacing back and forth outside of her room. Around me, people were moving in brisk speed, loud voices can be heard, adding more anxiety to my already troubled heart.


Just as I was about to lose control from waiting for too long, I heard the opening of the door.


"Mr. Horvejkul?"


I squinted my eyes and turned to the man who spoke my name.


"Neh." I nodded vigorously. I approached him in a haste, anxious to know her condition. "How is she?" I asked, almost in a whisper.


"Ms. Park is lucky. She just got several cuts and bruises but other than that, she's fine." He told me calmly.


How the hell can he be so calm when she just fainted almost stopped breathing??!


"But she fainted!" I almost screamed that out but I managed to control my emotion. "She looked so lifeless earlier." I whispered hoarsely, with my eyes rooted to the ground.


"That's normal, Ms. Horvejkul, considering the trauma she'd just experienced." He told me, calmly, again. 


People were now looking at us weirdly, probably since I wasn't wearing any mask or disguise. The hell would I care to disguise myself knowing that she was still lying motionless on a hospital bed.


He guided me towards his office where we could speak more freely, away from the scrutinizing eyes of the spectators in the hall.


"From what you told me earlier, how she was looking dazed and confused standing in the middle of the street and how her body bounced off hard on the ground, it is most likely she went into trauma." He explained after both of us have settled in his office. 


"You told me she was just standing and staring at the speeding truck, right?" I nodded my head. He nodded too as if I confirmed what he was thing about.


"She went through trauma which was caused by the terrifying event she just experienced. Trauma is one of the most dangerous state a person can go through and sometimes, if the trauma is too much, it may even cause to death."


I shuddered with his words and felt my hands grow cold.


"Thankfully, what she went through was minor trauma that's why she only fainted. Her consciousness gave in after experiencing too much shock, pain and exhaustion." He finished as she shuffled the papers that were scattered on his table.


"But how long will she be unconscious?" I asked, my voice trembling.


"From my observations earlier, she might wake up after a few hours. Her wounds are not that deep. It's just she was probably too shock and exhausted that's why she fainted."


I breathed a sigh of relief at his words.


"You can even bring her home by tomorrow and let her rest at home. She needs rest and peace more than ever. And you, you might want to have your cuts tended too." He advised me and I was thankful for the brief concern he showed but my cuts were nothing compares to hers.


"Kamsahamnida." I told him as I bowed my head.


It was a good thing I could bring her home tomorrow for I didn't want the media to catch on what happened to her. They would surely ask questions and the last thing Dara needed were pesky reporters and malicious controversies.


I left the doctors office and headed to her room as soon as I've gotten the doctor's approval.


I slowly and quietly entered her room, making sure that I didn't cause any noise.


She looked so helpless, lying motionless on the cold white bed. I approached her and seated next to her, quietly observing her as she slept peacefully.


I caressed her hair. It was messy and tangled, probably from her harsh collision on the ground. I gently rubbed her cheeks, thankful that despite her nasty fall, miraculously, her face was left unscathed. 


Maybe the heavens couldn't bear to touch her beautiful, angelic face.


I felt her stir a little which made my heart leaped with joy.


But almost immediately, it dropped to the floor when she called out for him.


"Ji..."


I felt a pang in my heart. 


It hurt so much that even though it was I who saved her and it was I who was with her, her heart still yearned for him.


"Ji..."


She repeated, her voice meek and feeble.


I leaned closer to her and gently whispered.


"He's not here, Dara."


I saw her forehead crease as she took my hand, her eyes still closed.


"Ji... hold me please..."


She pulled my hand closer to her. Her voice was pleading, begging me to do what Jiyong should have been doing.


And though it hurt like hell to hear her wanting another man to hold her, I succumb to her wish and laid next to her, cradling her in my arms.


"Hold me always, Ji... don't ever let me go, please..."


She was crying softly in my chest, her voice muffled against my drenched shirt.


"Ssssshhh... don't cry, Dara."


I caressed her back gently as I held her tighter, making her feel all my love that remained only for her.


"Ji... don't leave me... don't you dare leave me..."


"Stay with me always, Ji... promise me that..."


She was dreaming, dreaming of the man who have won her heart.


And though I wasn't the man she wanted to hold her, the man she wanted to stay by her side, I still told her the words I knew would bring her comfort and peace.


"Ji will always be here for you... Ji will never leave you..."


I kissed her forehead softly as I felt my own tears dreading to escape.


Then I saw her smile faintly with closed eyes, her face the reflection of bliss and contentment.


And right then and there I knew, my sacrifice was all worth it.































The streets were uncharacteristically crowded even if it was already dawn. 


It was New Year's Eve and people flocked the streets, joining in the merriment.


But I was not in the mood to join in the festivities for my mind was elsewhere.


My mind was racing with so many thoughts swarming my head.


I just found out from Bom-noona that she didn't return to their apartment.


I tried calling her phone but every time, it would register that it was out of service.


I tried roaming the streets of Seoul, uncaring if I didn't have a disguise, unmindful that people were already buzzing about me.


"OMO! Isn't that G-Dragon?!"


I looked at my watch and frowned as I saw that it was already twenty-three minutes past two in the morning.


"IT'S REALLY HIM! OMONA!!!"


Where the hell are you, Dara??!!


I ran towards my car and headed to another direction. I had been going in circles, dropping by all the places she had gone to or had been fond of going to.


Han River... Yeolbong... YG building... roooftop... Lotte World... Seoul Forest... Mirror Lake...


But everywhere I go, I couldn't seem to see even the faintest image of her.


My body wanted to give from too much exhaustion but my heart wouldn't stop until I see her safe and sound.


Maybe the reason I can't find her is because she doesn't want to be found?


I reasoned with my mind.


So I made my way back to our apartment and sat by the entrance of the building.


I decided to wait for her there, no matter how long it would take for her to return.


I knew that what she saw earlier was too much. 


It really looked that Yoona and I were kissing for I was frozen on my spot when Yoona attempted to deepen the kiss.


It was that exact moment that Dara found us, in that compromising situation.


I clutched my chest when I felt a seething pain spread all over my chest.


The hurt in her eyes...


The betrayal she thought I committed...


The disappointment which she just couldn't hide...


It was all too much for me to take.


No, D... don't think of me that way...


I know your heart know that I can't do that to you.


D, have faith in me, please...


Have faith in us...


I bowed my head as my mind and body succumbed to sleep, unaware that the sun had already risen.







































"JI!"


I woke with a jolt as the last image in my head was that of Jiyong, silently crying while begging me to have a little faith in him.


I winced and held on to my head gingerly as piercing pain shot through it.


Suddenly, images of Yoona and Jiyong half-, locked in each other embrace flashed in my mind, making my head hurt even more.


I shook my head vigorously, determined to shake the pain away as well as the doubts that clouded my mind.


NO! Jiyong wouldn't do that to me... 


My mind was silently screaming.


He knows how much I value his trust. He wouldn't throw that away so easily.


I was convincing myself more than anything.


I should have asked him. I should have more faith in him.


I felt my arms ached when I tried to elbow my way out of my bed.


"I need to ask him! I need to get his side before I jump into things!"


I was about to land my feet on the ground when a hand stopped.


"Where are you going, Dara?"


I looked to my right and saw Khun Khun barely awake, with eyes heavily-lidded.


"Khun Khun? W-what are you doing here??"


I was dumb-founded.


I slept in one bed with Khun Khun.


And what's more, I was not in my own room.


I was inside a cold, monotonous hospital room.


I felt another surge of agonizing pain as flashbacks of last night’s incidents came pouring in on my mind.


I was standing in the middle of the road, lost and distraught.


Cars were honking loudly, screeches sounded while they try to avoid hitting me.


I took hesitating steps with no clear direction, unfazed of the chaos I was causing.


Then suddenly, a speeding truck advance towards me.


I froze, unable to think on my toe as the truck came dangerously near me.


And just as I would already be free from the seething pain in my heart, I felt myself being roughly pulled and tossed to the ground, my body bouncing like some inanimate object.


Then I saw him laying next to me, holding me so tight as if afraid to let me go.


"Khun Khun..."


He saved me yet again.


"Where are you going, Dara?" He asked me once again.


"I need to find Jiyong. I need to know the truth."


He looked baffled and confused.


"But you're still weak, Dara. Just rest for awhile more and then you can go home and talk to him." He said, almost pleading.


"I can't, Khun Khun. My mind's going crazy now. If I don't talk to him anytime soon, my head will explode from too much crazy thoughts!" 


I held on to my head as another surge of pain came.


"Dara..." He held my hand and slowly massaged my head. 


"Why do need to talk to him so bad? What truth are you talking about?" His voice sounded concern.


"And why were you standing in the middle of the road last night?"


His questions left me dumb-founded.


I guess I have no other choice but tell him. Sooner than later, he would probably found out about it anyway.


"I saw Yoona and Jiyong kissing." I said flatly.


I saw him froze but then regained his composure after awhile.


That was one of his differences with Jiyong. 


Ji was too transparent with his feelings and emotions... 


... while Khun Khun was a hard shell to crack.


"But something's telling me to go back to him and seek for the truth. I kept having this nagging feeling that I should have confronted them instead of running away."


I heaved a sigh as sudden realization hit me.


"I should trust him more. I just have this feeling that he wouldn't hurt me like deliberately."


I looked at him and saw him nodded.


"Arasso. I will bring you home them."


I smiled at him, grateful for his understanding and support.


We were about to leave the room to check out when I realized something.


"SH*T!"


Khun Khun looked up to me in alarm.


I looked at my reflection and bit my lip.


My bare arms were filled with cuts and bruises, same with my legs which were wrapped in bandages.


I looked like I just ran around the forest, getting myself scratched and cut by several branches.


"I can't go home to the girls like this." I pouted.


"Why not?" He chuckled probably amused at me pouting like a little kid.


"Look at me. I look like a mummy!" That made him laugh even more. I pouted even more.


"If I showed up looking like a mess, for sure they will worry about me and I will spoil their New Year spirit."


"They already have had more than enough share of anxiety worrying over me for the past eleven months."


I bowed my head in shame. I just seemed to make the people I love worry too much about me.


"Are you okay with wearing my clothes then?"


My head shot up and looked at him, confused at his words.


"Why?"


He shrugged his shoulder. "You said you don't want them to worry. I think my clothes are big enough to hide the bandages."


He smiled faintly at me.


"Oh." I said meekly but then a smile formed on my face. "Is it okay with you?" I asked hesitantly.


"My dorm's just ten minutes away from here. Wait for me."


After thirty minutes, he came back bringing along a pair of ladies' pants, shirt twice as big as I am and a jacket.


"Where did you get the pants? Don't tell me you wear ladies' pants?" I wriggled my eyebrows at him teasingly.


"That's Yanin's pants. My sister left it the last time she had a sleepover."


I nodded in understanding and made my way towards the comfort room to change.


After finishing, I stepped out of comfort room and was met by a chuckling Khun Khun.


"YA!"


He chuckled even more when I started approaching him.


"Mian, Dara. It's just that~ HAYSSSST!!! You really... HAHAHAHA! You look like a penguin! HAHAHA!"


I looked at the mirror and saw my hideous appearance.


The shirt and the jacket were enormous but the pants fit like second skin.


I turned to him when I heard another round of loud laughter. I was about to lunged at him when I felt another surge of agonizing pain shot right through me.


Wincing in pain, I struggled to walk normally.


"Don't overdo it, Dara. You're still weak and your body's still sore."


I smiled at him, touched by his concern as he guided me out of the hospital room.


"It's okay, Khun Khun. I've been through more hellish pain than this. I can survive this."


I winked at him which made him smile widely for the first time that day.








































I woke up to a roaring sound of engine nearby. I looked at my watch and found out that it was just 5:30 A.M..


I quickly got up and saw Nichkhun exited the driver's seat and made his way towards the passenger seat.


My eyes widened and gasped as I took in her appearance.


She was clad in men's clothes and from the looks of it, it was NIchkhun's.


I watched gingerly as Nichkhun gently held her elbows, helping her walk as her legs were spread, limping slowly.


My teeth gritted in anger as my mind raced through all the possibilities.


She has been gone the whole night...


He drove her here...


She's wearing his clothes...


She's limping...


"Dara, don't try to walk fast. Your body's still sore from last night."


His words hit me like thunder, aiming straight into my wounded heart.


She's sore...


Her body's still sore from last night...


"It's okay, Khun Khun. I can manage. It's normal."


My blood boil upon hearing her words.


"So it's normal for you to spend the night with a man?"


My voice surprised the two who was completely unaware of my existence earlier.


"J-ji... what are you doing here outside?"


Her eyes were wide in shock, probably alarmed that I have caught her.


"I was waiting for you, D." I moved closer to her. "I was waiting for you all night." I said in a voice so dangerously low.


I saw her face softening as she raised her hand to touch my face.


But I was quick to grasp her hand even before it was able to make contact with my skin.


She winced in pain as I held her wrist tightly.


"OUCH! Ji, it hurts!"


I ignored her cries and continued staring at her, my eyes blazing in fury.


"Jiyong, don't hold her so tight. She's still weak." Nichkhun warned me but I just snickered at him.


"Stay out of this, Horvejkul. This is between Dara and I." I hissed at him.


"I won't let you hurt her." He said which enraged me and made me tighten my hold on Dara's wrist.


"AWWWW!"


Dara cried in pain but my ears seemed to have lost its function as thoughts of what must have happened last night between the two flooded my mind.


"JIYONG, STOP HURTING HER!" 


Nichkhun advanced towards me and tried to push me away from her but I just held on tightly to her, unaware of her cries and pleas of pain.


I gingerly pushed Nichkhun to the ground like a madman. My mind was going crazy with the thought that the mean-spirited fellow touched my girl.


"JI, STOP IT!"


I turned to Dara and saw that she was about to run to Nichkhun. My mind went berserk which made me pull her harshly towards me.


"AAAAARGHHHHH!"


She cried in pain once again, but this time, it was louder and a more painful cry.


"WHY ARE YOU RUNNING TOWARDS HIM, HUH? I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND, RIGHT? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING TO HIM THEN? WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU LAST NIGHT THAT MADE YOU SUCCUMB TO HIM LIKE THIS? DID HE PLEASURE YOU MORE THAN I DID BEFORE? DID HE YOU SENSELESS THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SORE ALL OVER??!"


My mind was too clouded with negative thoughts that I was not able to control the words that came out of my mouth.


"YOU BAST*RD!"


I saw Nichkhun running towards me with unforgiving eyes.


But even before he could have reached me, a sharp pain shot through me as I felt a hard slap on my face.


I turned to Dara and saw that she was crying and breathing heavily. Her eyes were seething with anger and disgust.


But what calmed my raging emotions was the pain and disappointment I saw in her eyes.


Almost immediately, I regretted the words I yelled at her.


"BAST*RD!"


She yelled those words and it pierced right through my heart.


"D..."


I tried to come closer to her but she raised her finger to stop me.


"You want to know why I'm sore all over? You want to know if he ed me senseless? YES HE ED ME SO HARD THAT I SCREAMED HIS NAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN! HE ED ME SENSELESS THAT WE BROKE HIS BED AND THRASHED HIS PLACE! HE ED ME SOOOO DAMN HARD THAT I GOT ALL THESE CUTS AND BRUISES ALL OVER MY BODY!"


She hastily took of the jacket she was wearing and revealed her arms that were filled with bandages. She rolled up he pants and revealed the same thing. Her legs were filled with bandages as well.


I felt my heart constricted as I saw her pitiful state. She was still crying as she held on to her pants, her eyes blazing with anger while staring hard at me.


"Dara... wh-what happened..."


But I wasn't able to finish my question as she walked past by me and limped her way towards the building.


I was about to follow her when a hand pulled mine, preventing me from doing so.


I looked irritatingly at Nichkhun but was met with a hard punch on the face instead.















































"How can you be so low, Jiyong?"


I just looked at Nichkhun and said nothing. We were both sitting on the ground, both nursing swollen and bruised faces.


The truth is I was really embarrassed by my actions earlier.


"Do you know what really happened, Jiyong?"


I just squinted my eyes at him and looked forward.


"Dara almost got hit by a truck last night."


His words made my breath stop.


"W-WHAT?!!"


He remained calm and looked ahead.


"You heard me. She was almost hit by a truck last night."


I felt my hands turning cold. I must have paled at that moment for I felt my blood being drained out of me.


"I saw her standing in the middle of the road with a dazed and confused look as if she was not aware of what was happening around her. I called her but she didn't seem to hear me."


I just sat quietly, listening intently to his words.


"Then all of a sudden, a large truck came speeding towards her. I tried to run as fast as I could and thankfully, I was able to pull her out just in time."


I heaved a sigh of relief.


"The impact of us falling on the ground made me lose my grip on her and she bounced off the ground, scratching and cutting herself in the process."


I once again felt guilt.


"I rushed her to the nearest hospital which thankfully, was just ten minutes away from my dorm. She was treated there and the doctor cleared her."


He stopped, as if unsure if he should say his next words.


"And...?" I asked impatiently.


"All through the night, she just called one name repeatedly." He looked at me intently. "It was your name she kept on calling."


I felt my heart leaped but at the same time, I felt furious.


"Why didn't you call me then? Why didn't you tell me about what happened?"


He smiled bitterly.


"Probably I was selfish."


I glared at him, hatred started seeping slowly into me.


"When I was taking care of her, it just felt right. It was like the most natural thing in the world."


He smiled once again but this time, her smile was filled with sadness.


"Yet, she still called your name. She still begged in her sleep for you not to leave her."


He bowed his head and placed his palm over her face.


"She loves you so much, Jiyong. So much that even though she was hurting pretty bad, she still forced herself to check out way early in the morning..."


I felt tears forming in my eyes. 


"You know why, Jiyong?"


I shook my head slowly.


"Because she wanted to talk to you. Even though seeing you and Yoona kissing last night hurt her so much, she was still holding on to her faith in you. She said that she should get your side first and know the truth. She said that she believes you will not do such a thing to hurt her deliberately, that there must be a deeper reason to that kiss."


I was dumb-founded. I didn't know what to say next.


The girl I had hurt and doubted kept faith in me...


... while I disregarded her feelings and made her feel low and dirty.


"Now, you know why she's hurting so bad, Jiyong?"


I just stared ahead torturous pain consumed my whole being.


"The words and actions of the man she loves and trusted hurt her more than the physical pain she's feeling."


































It had been a month since the painful confrontation happened.


YG-hyung decided to give Dara a three-week break to let her recover from the trauma she had experienced.


I tried to visit her in her dorm to talk to her but the girls blocked me each time, telling me that Dara gave them strict orders not to let even a strand of my hair pass through the front door.


I was going crazy not being able to see her and talked to her but I knew that i deserved that. I have stooped so low and hurt her in the most degrading and disgusting way.


To add to my misery, I found out from Seungri that Nichkhun was constantly visiting her, tending to all her needs like a sweet, caring boyfriend.


*BLECH!*


"How is she?" I asked Bae who just walked in.


"She's doing fine. She said that she asked YG-hyung to let her join the girls in their practice for the Angel Price Music Festival performance."


"And hyung allowed her?"


"Neh. He probably thought it would be healthy for Dara to do her normal routine. Plus, the media and fans would be all be wondering if she wasn't performing with the girls."


I nodded to what Bae said.


"At least she's okay now..." A faint smile appeared on my lips.


Bae held out his hand and held my shoulder.


"Sorry, Ji..." He said apologetically.


"Why?" I asked him though I already knew what he would be saying.


"I just feel bad that I can freely visit her while you, the person who loves her the most, can't even steal a brief glance at her."


I smiled weakly at him.


"Did you bring the lunch box I prepared?" I asked suddenly, almost forgetting that I sent Bae there to give her that.


He nodded.


"Did she eat it?"


He shook his head.


I felt my heart dropped.


"But the girls ate it. Dara-noona said she had eaten already and was full that's why she didn't eat anymore."


I felt my tears welling again.


"Bae, I want to apologize to her, make it up to her but how can I do that when everyone else prevents me from doing so? How can I do that when she, herself, is the one blocking me?"


I felt like a child complaining to his father.


But it was too much. All I wanted was to apologize.


Can't they give me that?


What price do I have to pay just for her to forgive me again?




























"Unnie! I'm so happy you can join us now!"


I beamed at Minji who was jumping up and down as we headed towards our dressing room.


We were invited to perform at the Angel Price Music Festival and we were all ecstatic for we would be in the company of our fellow idols.


And yes, that included BIGBANG.


Which meant I would see him, no matter how I have tried to avoid him the past three weeks.


It is inevitable, Dara. You live in the same world, breathe the same air.


"This is it! We're up next!"


CL-roo's voice boomed out of nowhere, breaking me from my trance earlier.


"Ssantokki, what are you still doing there?" Bommie called me out and I realized that their hands were already placed on top of each other.


I ran towards them and placed mine on top. We all looked at one another and smiled.


"2NE1, NOLJA!"






































I walked into backstage left and watched her performed with so much joy and energy that one wouldn't believe that just weeks ago, she almost lost her life in a traumatic incident.


One wouldn't believe that just weeks ago, the man whom she loved and trusted just made her feel like the lowest and dirtiest person on earth.


I loathed myself for making her feel that way. I hated myself for being to irrational and reckless. I despise myself for hurting her once again when I promised that I would be taking care of her.


I let myself enjoy this moment that I could freely watch her without anyone telling me to stay away from her. I let myself memorize every single detail of her. I let her presence fill my consciousness.


Be strong, D. Be always strong...





















I felt someone watching me from behind and I couldn't help but looked at the direction of the stare.


Standing to my left side was Jiyong, watching us intently.


I miss him...


A voice in my head suddenly whispered to me.


WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM??!


I chuckled at his question.


It came from you, stupid.


I was convinced that I have done the right thing, ignoring Jiyong. What he had said had hurt me deeply.


But what hurt me the most was the fact that he didn't have any faith in me.


I admit I was guilty as well for I ran out of him before he was able to explain to me but then it was a spur of the moment. I was too shocked at seeing them in that compromising position.


Maybe it was the same for him? When he saw me with Khun Khun, wearing his clothes and limping, his mind got clouded which led him to act like a madman.


I nodded, convinced that that was the reason for his outburst.


But he still hurt you and much worst, degraded you.


My shoulders slumped in disappointment as I recalled that fateful night.


I was so engrossed with my own thoughts that I didn't realize the sudden emergence of an unfamiliar man looking dangerously at me.


Without saying a word, I felt his firm grip on my waist as he hoisted me on his shoulder and walked out of the stage.


All at once, screams and buzzing were heard all over. 


I opened my eyes and saw CL-roo and the rest of the girls running after us.


"PUT ME DOWN!"


I tried to punch his back repeatedly but it was as if he wasn't feeling anything.


"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME??!"


I tried to sound brave but deep inside, I was trembling in fear.


"TO WHERE THEY CAN'T HURT YOU."





































I tried to suppress my tears as the sound of the crowd faded from my ears. It was already dark and the path that he chose to take was isolated.


“SIR, PLEASE DON’T HURT ME! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!” I was begging him for mercy but he seemed to be deaf to my pleas.


“I won’t hurt you, Dara-sshi. That’s the last thing I would ever do.” His voice became soft but his hold on me just became tighter.


“Please put me down… I won’t report you to the police… I swear I won’t…” I was on the verge of crying when I felt him stop.


“Do you really believe I will hurt you?” He asked me with so much tenderness that I somehow felt a little pity for him. He seemed to genuinely care about me.


“Sir, I-I don’t know you but with the way you’re carrying me without my consent, I can’t help but be scared…” I admitted meekly.


I felt him sigh and after awhile, he put me down gently on the ground.


I blinked a few times, shaking myself out of shock. I scanned my eyes around and found myself on a rooftop.


I turned to my assailant and found him carefully watching me.


He seemed to be in his late twenties. His face was scarred on the left cheek, making him menacingly scary.


But when you look deep into his eyes, one could see a rare gentleness, as if the eyes belonged to an innocent boy.


He bowed his head shyly when he saw me scrutinizing him. I saw that as an opportunity to flee my assailant.


But I haven’t gone a few steps away from him when he suddenly grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me towards him.


“You’re not going anywhere, Dara-sshi.” He told me with such danger that I believed his words. 


My body froze and my feet remained rooted on the ground.


“Why are you doing this, ahjussi?” Once again, I tried to communicate with him.


He looked at me and bore holes into my eyes.


“I’m doing this for you, Dara-sshi. I’m protecting you from people who want to harm you.”


He said gently as he began to rub my hand tenderly.


I felt goosebumps when he touched me. Finding his actions inappropriate, I wanted to pull away from him but the growing fear inside me stopped me from doing so.


Please… somebody please help me…


“All of the men around you don’t care about you, Dara-sshi. They just want you for your pretty face. They just want to feed their egos that Sandara Park, the most beautiful KPOP idol, is giving them attention.”


He started saying things as if he was in a trance.


“Those celebrities, they associate their names with you to get attention. They don’t care about you or how you feel. For them, you’re merely a trophy.”


I felt him tightened his hold on me.


I was baffled with what he was telling me. Nobody has ever talked to me regarding those things.


“But I, I care so much about you, Dara-sshi… ever since I saw you in Gummy’s music video, I have kept a special feeling for you…”


He advanced towards me and I felt myself shivered in terror.


“I have always wanted to be this close to you. I have always wanted to hold just like this.” I noticed his face softened as he said those words.


He closed his eyes as he brought my hand to rub his cheeks. I winced as I felt his rough skin against my hand.


His eyes suddenly turned into a cold, menacing stare that it made me gasp.


“Whenever I watch those guys take advantage of you, I couldn’t help but feel a rage forming inside me…” He stared deep into my eyes and I shuddered as I saw pure evil in them.


“Whenever I see them, I wanted to hurt somebody…” He told me in a low whisper that I felt myself turning pale.


“Taeyang… T.O.P…. Minho…” His eyes turned into dangerous slits, making him scarier than he was earlier. “All of them are nuisances to me… all of them should be disposed of immediately…”


His words scared the hell out of me. Those people he mentioned were my friends, people who were important in my life.


But his next words triggered the worst fear in me.


“Especially that Jiyong and Nichkhun…. I will make them pay for all the times they have claimed you as theirs, especially that Jiyong, for all the times he had left you in tears.”


His words reverberated in my head, striking fear into my heart.


“Ahjussi, please don’t hurt my friends. They’re not what you think.” I cried out, begging him to listen to me. 


Looking at him though, I knew that it was a hopeless case. The dazed and faraway look on his eyes sent a message to me, loud and clear.


He already made up his mind.


“Why do you care so much about them, Dara-sshi? They don’t even care about you.” He spoke in a condescending tone.


I shook my head vehemently, refusing to believe their words. “Ani… that’s not true…” I answered timidly, suppressing the tears that were threatening to fall.


He laughed bitterly, his menacing laughter resounded throughout the rooftop.


“Neh? Then why are they not here rescuing you?”


I felt my heart dropped on the floor.


But I just couldn’t accept his words.


“Ani… that’s not true… that’s not true…” I kept on repeating those words to myself and blocking of the ominous laughter of my assailant.


“Just accept it Dara-sshi, nobody cares for you more than I do.”


“That’s not true.”


My head shifted towards the staircase as a shadow slowly made its way towards us.


“J-jiyong!”


He looked at me and his face softened as he saw my state. My tears started falling as I saw the genuine concern that was written on his face.


“I told you, Dara-sshi, that guy does nothing but make you cry.”


The assailant’s words made Jiyong freeze on his spot.


I rubbed my eyes and shook my head vigorously.


“ANI! THAT’S NOT TRUE!”


Jiyong looked at me in surprise, as if he was not expecting me to say those words.


“Though he made me cry on several occasions, he made me the happiest most of the time.”


I looked into Jiyong’s eyes and saw relief and happiness in them.


“Dara…” Jiyong began to take a few steps towards me.


“NO!!!!”


I jumped in shock as my assailant pulled me back roughly.


I saw Jiyong raised his hand as if to warn my assailant. “Don’t do that, please. You’re hurting her.” He was begging, a thing the Great Kwon Leadah rarely do.


My assailant hissed angrily at him. “Don’t act as if you care for him, Dragon. I know your ways with the ladies. I know how you love to play around with them and leave them like a rag doll after having your way with them. I know you pretty well.” He gave Jiyong a scowl.


But Jiyong was not one to be easily intimidated.


“You don’t know sh*t about me, ahjussi.”


He repaid the assailant with a vicious stare, determined not to back down.


“Oh, I know an awful lot of sh*t about you, Jiyong-sshi.” My assailant mocked him. “I know how you dated that Japanese model while you were away from Dara-sshi.”


My mind went back to the time Jiyong and I fought because of Kiko Mizuhara. That time, we almost broke up but my love for him defied all reasons and I decided to give him another chance.


“What, Jiyong-sshi? You won’t deny it? Did the Dragon lose his tongue?” My assailant was taunting Jiyong but he remained calm and collected.


“It was a stupid fling, a fling I regretted so much.” He looked at me and bowed his head in apology.


My assailant laughed contentedly.


“And that time you hit on Sulli during Inkigayo. You won’t deny that as well, won’t you?” My assailant’s voice was filled with confidence. He was probably thinking he already had Jiyong wrapped around his fingers.


“I flirted with her, yes, I admit that. But I just did what the show wanted me to do.”


Jiyong answered in a low voice, his hands clenching into fists.


“I see… but haven’t you heard of the word ‘FREEWILL’, Jiyong-sshi?”


My assailant chuckled as Jiyong appeared to be baffled by his statement.


“I thought you consider yourself as a musician? Why then submit yourself to the ways of an idol?”


I saw Jiyong’s eyes turned into dangerous slits and his muscles tensed in fury.


“I made a lot of stupid mistakes, I admit that. But those mistakes helped me realized the important elements in my life. If I hadn’t committed those mistakes, I wouldn’t have realized who I truly love with all my heart.”


He looked at me intently, burying into my mind and my heart the words he said earlier.


“Mistakes such as admitting to the worlds that Sulli is your ideal girl when you know well enough that your real girlfriend was watching?”


That hit a chord on both of us. I looked at Jiyong and saw the regret in his eyes. Tears formed on them as he did his best to speak coherently without bawling in tears.


“D… mian…” He stared at me with piercing eyes, his eyes reflected with genuine regret and apology. “I only did that because I thought it’s the only way for me to protect you. It was too late for me to realize that I have hurt you instead… the thing I least wanted to do.”


His tears flowed freely along with mine.


I gave him a weak smile, hoping to give him courage to fight back.


“I understand, Ji... I understand everything…”


I felt my assailant flinch beside, shocked that I took the side of Jiyong instead of his.


It was then that I felt a cold sharp object coming in close contact with my neck.


“DARA!”


Jiyong was about to step forward when the sharp object came closer to me. I whimpered as I felt the coldness coming in contact with my skin.


“Take a step forward and I wouldn’t hesitate to plunge this to her.”


My breath got caught in my throat at the sudden threat of my assailant. All thoughts of the assailant’s gentleness quickly dissolved on my mind.


“Please, just take me instead of her. Hurt me instead of her….” Jiyong’s pleas slowly broke my heart.


“Kneel down, G-Dragon and repent for all your sins to Dara-sshi.”


I saw Jiyong looking helpless and desperate. Emotions I rarely saw from him. He was so used to being in control of things that it broke my heart to think of how hard it was for him to be subjected in such a predicament.


He was about to kneel down but I didn’t let him. With trembling voice, I spoke out, determined to sway my assailant’s wavering emotions.


“Ahjussi, I thought you care about me? I thought nobody cares for me more than you? Why then would you want to hurt me?” I asked him meekly, unsure whether I had taken the right path or had just marked my doom.


I saw my assailant’s face softened which brought me so much relief.


But my relief was easily washed away by his next words.


“I care so much about you, Dara-sshi, that’s why I wanna take you away from here. Both of us will escape this world and live peacefully with each other.” He leaned his head closer to mine, his stale, hot breath brushed my face and I shivered in fear of the dangerous maniac who held me captive.


He stopped midway and pointed his knife towards my neck, drawing imaginary shapes and numbers, making the cold steel touch my skin dangerously.


“But the only way to do that is if we experience pain. Together.”


























Seeing Dara being held helpless by her assailant, I couldn’t help but feel useless and desperate.


I wanted to lunge towards the assailant but I knew that by doing that, I would just put her life in danger.


Though I didn’t want to give up, I was starting to lose hope.


“Jiyong.”


A soft whisper sounded by the stairs.


I was about to turn to the sound when the person spoke again.


“Don’t turn. He’ll notice.”


It was then that I recognized the voice.


It was Nichkhun.


He was silently giving me directions while I acted like I was listening to the assailant spoke of how he and Dara were meant to be together.


After Nichkhun finished explaining, we put our plan into motion.


“Ahjussi, before taking Dara away, can you just grant my one last wish?”


Dara looked at me in surprise and quickly, her eyes reflected hurt and disappointment.


Mian, Dara… I must do this for you…


“What is it, Jiyong-sshi?” His voice sounded pleased and contented.


“Let me hold her for the last time.”


The assailant’s eyes turned cold and menacing.


“Please? After that, I’ll willingly let her go.” I said as I stared at the assailant intently.


He seemed to be considering my request and after awhile, he let out a sigh.


“Arasso.” He turned to Dara. “See, I’m not a bad person actually.” He smiled menacingly at Dara which made her wince.


I made my way carefully towards Dara, staring at her eyes but at the same time, keeping my peripheral vision in check.


Once in front of her, I pulled her towards me and away from her assailant but not too far away.


“Once you hear a gunshot, run towards the stairs and don’t stop running until you get out of this place.” I whispered as softly as I can, making sure that the assailant wouldn’t overhear but also ensuring that Dara would understand.


I felt her stiffened but after awhile, gently nodded as if finally understanding what was going to happen.


“That’s enough!” I heard the assailant’s voice loomed at us.


I kissed the back of her neck and held on tighter to her, completely oblivious to the demands of the assailant.


“I SAID THAT'S ENO~”


The assailant’s voice was cut short by the sound of a gunshot, making him freeze on his spot.


Quickly, I pushed Dara forward, away from the assailant. Once Dara was within a safe distance from us, I lunged at the assailant and attempted to grab the knife away from his grasp.


“Nichkhun, take her!” I yelled at her when I noticed her still standing as if in shock. I continued battling with the assailant as I saw Nichkhun grab Dara and led her to the stairs.


NIchkhun grabbed Dara and ran towards the stairs. Before completely leaving us, he threw the gun towards me. I punched the assailant and tried to catch the gun but the assailant grabbed my foot which caused me to fall on the ground.


The assailant stood on top of me with a satisfied smile on his face. Never have I seen such evil from a man before.


He held the gun towards my head, ready to pull the trigger.


I looked up in the sky and said a silent prayer, thanking the heavens that the woman I love the most was safe and out of harm’s way.


Any second now, I knew I would be facing death. I gladly accepted my fate, knowing that my death would be significant for in its exchange, I was able to save the woman that mattered the world to me.


And as I heard the sound of the gunshot, I closed my eyes and smiled.


I love you, Star… My heaven…