Trapped




I stole a glance at her. She was sitting beside me by the passenger seat, looking outside the window as if lost in her own thoughts.


She didn’t realize that I already adjusted the heater so that she won’t get cold.


She didn’t realize as well that I placed a blanket on top of her 


I didn’t think she realized that I was even there seated at the driver’s seat.


It was as if she was lost in her own world, a world where she put up a wall that was impenetrable.


I wanted to reach out to her. I wanted so much to comfort her with my words of hope. 


But how can I do that?


How can I say that the pain will soon go away to someone who had been hurt again and again?


How can I give hope to someone who had lost it, regain it for awhile, only to lose it again so suddenly?


How could I teach her to forget when the wounds that had been inflicted were still fresh from her memory?


Tell me, Dara. 


How can I help you?


I felt so helpless sitting beside her and not being able to do anything to lessen the pain she was feeling.


I felt so useless being so near her yet I couldn’t offer my arms to comfort her.


She just wouldn't allow herself to be comforted.


I heaved a sigh as I looked at her once again.


The Dara that was once lively and energetic faded away completely.


Instead, the Dara that was sitting beside me was lifeless and void of the colors that attracted people to her.


“Dara.” I gently tapped her shoulder when we reached their dorm. “We’re here.” I told her as I turned off the engine.


She just looked at me as if in a daze.


I heaved a sigh. “Come on. I’ll walk you to your dorm.”


I went out of the car and immediately ran to her side, opening the door for her.


She absentmindedly placed her hand towards mine and let herself be guided by me.


We walked like we were strangers, silent and tentative in our steps.


I walked two steps behind her, giving her the privacy that she needed.


She turned to me when we reached the door to her dorm and looked at me hesitantly.


“Khun Khun, I…”


“You should go inside now. It’s cold out here.” I told her, concerned about her well-being.


I could tell she was hesitant to go inside.


“Khun, you want to come inside? The girls are not home and I’m…” She looked down as if scared to admit the six letter word.


Lonely.


I looked at her innocent eyes and had to shake my head.


“Dara, you know that it would just be unhealthy for both of us to spend this time together.” I told her. She bowed her head as if embarrassed at her suggestion.


It’s not that I didn’t want to be there for her especially now that she’s at her lowest.


I was just not that confident that I could control myself once I was alone with her, especially knowing how vulnerable she was at the moment.


She looked at me with pleading eyes, though, making me it hard to resist her.


“Khun Khun, please… Just for tonight, stay with me.” She pleaded, her eyes welling with tears.


“I don’t want to be alone.” Her tears were falling now.


I felt the familiar ache that I felt when she confessed that she cannot love me the way she loved him.


How can I say no to you, Dara?


I took her hand and went inside her dorm, leaving all sense of reason behind the door.















She was crying the whole time we were inside her room.


I have already lost count of how many tissues she had consumed.


I have lost track of how many sighs she heaved since we arrived.


I laid her on the bed for her to rest but even the comforts of her bed could not stop the tears from falling.


I could feel her pain with her every tear.


I wanted to hold her so tight and make her feel my warmth to assure her that she was not alone.


That I am just right here for her to lean on.


But I did my best to control myself, afraid that I might take advantage of her vulnerability.


The moment I saw her hugged herself though, my heart took control of my body.


My arms reached out to hold her and wrapped her in my embrace.


She accepted it without complaint.


My hand caressed her back while the other hand combed her hair gently.


I let her cry the remaining tears until they gradually subsided.


How many tears have you already spilled, Dara?


We didn’t utter a word to each other.


We just stayed there, close to each other, letting our bodies communicate with one another.


I was giving her comfort.


She was letting me comfort her.


I somehow felt relieved that she’s letting me take a peek inside that wall she was starting to build around herself.


I felt her steady breathing and realized that finally, she would be able to rest her eyes that she exhausted from all the tears that flowed.


I gently laid her to bed once again, making sure that my movement would not wake her up.


I sat for awhile and watched her, thanking the heavens that she looked so peaceful while sleeping.


At least she could find peace, even if it was just in her sleep.


I tore my gaze away from her and looked at my watch. 10 P.M.


I knew he was still awake.


I left her room and made my way outside 2NE1’s room, making sure the door was locked as I closed it behind me.


Once outside, I took my phone out and dialed a number.















I was sitting in one of the benches outside his dorm just as I have told him earlier.


I couldn’t believe I would be talking to him again after I had lowered my pride and admitted that the girl I love was in love with him.


I couldn’t believe that I would still take time to get his side of the story when he is my rival after all.


Why did I still feel the need to make everything right for the two of them when I can easily sneak my way to Dara’s heart and replace him?


Right, it’s because I love her.


I love her so much that all I want is to stop her pain and let her be happy again.


I shook my head.


How have you come to this point, Nichkhun?


I let out a chuckle at the irony of the situation.


I automatically looked up when I heard footsteps coming my way.


As expected, it was Jiyong looking distraught.


I waited for him to take his seat on the bench beside me.


“Tell me Jiyong. Do you take pleasure in seeing Dara hurt?” I didn’t waste any minute of my time with him.


I saw him flinched from my harsh words. I felt he wanted to say something but didn’t continue.


“I just don’t get how someone who claims to love her with all his heart can just easily treat her like trash.” I couldn’t stop myself from blurting those out.


He looked me straight in the eye. “I guess I deserved that.” He said seriously.


I just smirked at him. “Damn right you do.” I hissed under my breath.


I looked at him once again and noticed a trace of sadness in his eyes. 


Sadness and regret.


For awhile, I felt pity for him.


But then the image of Dara crying her heart out eventually erased all that.


“Tell me Jiyong. Why did you have to do that?” I was getting frustrated. “Why did you have to make her believe you still love her and then leave her again for another girl?”


I saw him shift uncomfortably as if that topic the last thing he wanted to discuss.


“I’m doing this for Dara, Nichkhun.” He bowed his head. “She doesn’t deserve a lowlife like me. I’ll just bring her harm.” He looked at me and his eyes showed that he was helpless.


“Then why did you have to bring her to Lotte World? Why did you build her hope only to crash them in the end?” I just couldn’t understand what was going through his mind.


“Because I wanted to spend the last day of my freedom with her. I wanted her to feel that my love for her is real. That even if we’re not together I wou---“


I took a swag at him and punched him hard on the face.


He lost his balance from the impact and landed on the ground. His lower lip was bleeding from my punch.


“That even if you’re not together you still lover her? How selfish can you get huh, Jiyong?” I was fuming with anger as I eyed him still laying on the ground. “You know very well how Dara’s suffering and you would still let her hang on to you knowing that you already admitted to dating someone? What is Dara then? You’re other woman? What makes Yoona then?” I was so agitated that I didn’t realize the things that were coming out from my mouth.


I waited for an answer but heard nothing but the silent rustling of leaves.


I heaved a sigh. “I really thought you were different, Jiyong. I thought you were different from the G-Dragon we’re used to watching onstage.” I shook my head. “That’s why I willingly gave her up though it tore me apart. I thought finally, she will be with someone deserving of her love.”


I bowed my head and started walking away.


“You let her go before and I let her come back to you.”



“But don’t expect too much from me now.” I smirked, my back was still turned against them.


“And don’t expect her to come running back to you.”


“Because I won’t let her.”













I was done packing my things when I received a call from Nichkhun.


“Dara, our flight is at 12 P.M."


I checked my watch. 8 A.M.


“I’ll pick you up there, arasso?”


"Neh."


I carried my suitcase as I left our room for the second time.


It was time for me to bid my goodbyes.


But not before I did one last thing.


I went up to his room and found Seungri standing, looking dazed and sleepy.


‘Seungri-ah, can you please give this to your hyung?”


I took out the Chrome Hearts ring that he gave me. It was the ring that he gave me during our first anniversary.


That was the ring that was identical to the Chrome Hearts ring I gave him. The ring that had my name engraved inside the ring.


Those were our promise rings, the rings that symbolized our promise of love and devotion for each other.


Our promise of friendship and companionship.


Our promise of forever.


What’s the use of keeping it now when all of those promises are being broken one by one?


I walked away before Seungri could speak, leaving in his hand the promise of forever of Kwon Jiyong.



















I was silently watching her from afar.


Even when sadness was engulfing her, her beauty still stood out.


I wanted to run to her and hold her so tight.


I wanted to tell her that I will erase all of her pain away.


But I can’t. I can’t be selfish.


So here I am, standing from afar, silently watching her as she boarded her flight back to Japan.


I took out the other half of our couple rings, the one that I gave her and held it close to my heart.


I closed my eyes and recalled all that transpired before our eventful date in Lotte World.




I was surprised to see that Yang Goon hyung was not alone in his office.


Seated on the couch were two familiar faces.


Lee Soo Man, the chairman of SM Entertainment.


And beside him was the girl that I kissed the night of the party, Im Yoon-Ah.


I was confused as I looked at hyung’s troubled expression.


“Good that you can join us GD. Is it ok if I call you GD or would you rather I call you by your real name?” Lee Soo Man asked, baring the authoritative voice he had mastered all these years.


“Jiyong will be fine.” I respectfully replied.


“Alright, Jiyong. We won’t beat around the bush.” He spoke with so much authority that you’d feel you have committed a crime fitting for a capital punishment.


“We are here to do damage control.” He gave me a tabloid with the cover picture of Yoona and I kissing. What’s worse was the caption.


G-Dragon and Yoona having a wild good time!


I felt a lump starting to form in my throat.


“Yoona has been called a lot of things since that tabloid came out this morning." 


Mean-spirited Lady.


Wild girl.


Party girl.


Indecent.


Attention-seeker.


.


Devil hiding behind an angel’s face.


."


I saw Yoona flinched at the last word.


“And many more.”


He leveled his gaze at me.


“Because of your recklessness, Yoona is suffering from very bad publicity.” 


I bit my lips from too much guilt.


“Because of your recklessness, the image that Yoona worked so hard to achieve has been tainted and damaged.”


I shot Yoona an apologetic look but she just bowed her head down.


I looked up at Lee Soo Man.


“I know what I did was wrong and I realized that I have compromised Yoona because of that.” I bowed my head in apology.


“Please sir, I will do anything to make up for what I did.” I told him sincerely.


“You want to make up for what you did?” I nodded.


"That’s simple though."


“Date Yoona.”


I stared hard at him, unsure if what I heard from him was correct.


“Pardon?” I asked him.


“You have to date Yoona.” Lee Soo Man told me. I turned to hyung and saw that his forehead creased in disapproval.


“Isn’t that too much, Soo Man-sshi? We all know that they don’t have feelings for each other.” Hyung debated. I felt touched that he stood for me.


Soo Man just coolly smiled. “We know that but the fans don’t.”


I listened to him attentively.


“You pretend to be dating to justify why you kissed her in public. We must let them believe that they’re really together.”


I was breathing hard. [i]NO! I can’t do this to Dara. She’s waiting for me!


“No, sir. I’m sorry but I don’t think it would be wise for Yoona and I to date just because of the stupid kiss.” I told him honestly.


“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” Yoona spoke for the first time.


Lee Soo Man smiled.


“You see, Jiyong. You don’t have a choice here.” He added sternly. 


I stared at him in confusion.


He took out several pictures of Dara and I at the club, while I was dragging her.


I gasped as I saw all of them.


"The editor of the tabloid threatened to post these pictures as well but I talked to some of my connections and was able to negotiate with them."


“I am still worried though, though, Jiyong as I am sure he still have copies of these.”


Lee Soo Man placed his arm around me.


“We are willing to do everything to pacify the owner of these pictures. I’m sure you wouldn't want Dara to headline on the next issue.” He eyed me. “A scandal like this can taint her pure heart just like what they did with Yoona.” He was all business.


“For sure this will greatly affect her.”


“Would you let her suffer from the wrath of the press?”[/i]






I was reminded again of that fateful meeting yesterday.


I held the ring close to my heart.


Don’t look for me, Dara. 


I am content now just watching you from afar.