Hope



It happened.

I, Sandara Park, fell once again to Kwon Jiyong’s trap.

It wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t part of the plan at all.

I have constructed the perfect plan – one where I would completely erase Kwon Jiyong from my present.

But like an unexpected storm coming down just when a house was being restored to its former glory, I was being led to the source of my pain.

I wanted to tear my eyes off Kwon Jiyong. I wanted, for just a brief moment, to be blind. To not be able to see the tenderness in his eyes, as if pleading for something I could not comprehend.

So I closed my eyes. It was the only solution I could think of at the moment.

I closed my eyes and told myself repeatedly that I should forget him completely.

He has no right to walk back into your life.

He has no right to make you happy.

You can find happiness

but not from him.

It should not be from him.

I opened my eyes and looked at him once again.

His eyes. It was still the way it was when I closed mine.

Did it not leave me even for a second?

I shook my head as if shaking the thought away.

I continued looking at him, this time careful not to give anything away.

I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

I stared hard at him, conveying my thoughts loud and clear.

You may have hurt me,

but that would be the last time.

I promise, Kwon Jiyong,

I took a deep breath.

you will never hurt me again.






My heart leaped when I heard YG’s announcement earlier. It was like my prayer was answered even if I haven’t blurted it out.

My eyes automatically went to her, my precious butterfly that had escaped my grasp.

I saw her staring at me and for a moment, I saw the familiar eyes that made me fall in love with her again and again.

I saw the tender eyes that had looked at me with so much fondness in the past.

For a moment, I felt as though she was looking at me the way she did the first time we met.

My heart couldn’t stop beating. It was beating so fast I thought it would explode any minute.

And amidst all the complications, hurt and disappointments, I saw hope.

I saw that it was within my reach, just waiting for me to take hold of it.

I closed my eyes and silently thank our sajangnim for his help, for unwittingly helping me get a second chance to prove my worth to her.

I opened my eyes and saw her with hers closed as well. She looked like an angel silently chanting her prayers.

Then she opened her eyes and looked at me once again. I had expected to find the same tenderness she showed me earlier.

Instead, her eyes reflected coldness.

Resentment.

I stared hard at her, uncertain what to make of it all.

Why the sudden change?

It wasn’t long before I was able to get my answer.

She conveyed it through her eyes, loud and clear.

You may have hurt me,

but that would be the last time.

I promise, Kwon Jiyong,

My heart stopped beating for a moment.

you will never hurt me again.






“Araso!” sajangnim exclaimed as our group started buzzing about the latest announcement. 

I looked at her and noticed that she fell silent all of a sudden, her expression unrecognizable.

I heaved a sigh and looked back at our sajangnim. 

Why do you have to do that?

Why do you have to get them together again just when I’m starting to inch my way into her world?

I knew it was crazy, being selfish and greedy when it comes to her.

Who am I in her life, after all?

I’m not Kwon Jiyong, the man she used to love.

For her, I’m probably just a friend,

a shoulder she can lean on,

an ear that would willingly listen.

It was a role I did not despise. I willingly volunteered myself for the job.

It’s just that I couldn’t help hoping that someday, I would be able to remove Kwon Jiyong from her heart completely,

and replace his memories with mine.

I laughed silently upon realizing my thoughts.

Hayssst, Khun! When have you started getting greedy all of a sudden?

I looked at her and smiled bitterly.

It was when I gotten to know her.

Got to be close to her.

Got to share my days with her.

I bowed my head and shook my hair, as if preventing my crazy thoughts from overwhelming me.

It was when I realized I have fallen in love with her.






Bommie poked my side and motioned for me to follow her. I looked to where her eyes were pointing and saw Kwon Jiyong and Tabi already anticipating our arrival.

I heaved a sigh and followed her.

Though trembling inside, I did my best to walk with much conviction, as if my feet were leading me to a stranger, someone I would be meeting for the first time.

We stopped a moderate inches from them. I silently thanked Bom for walking no further.

It was Tabi who spoke first.

“So I guess we’ll be working with each other in this one.” He said, his eyes never leaving Bommie’s as he uttered those words.

I felt Bommie let out a quick sigh and it was my turn to poke her side, mentally telling her to get a grip of herself which she willingly obliged to.

“Yeah, it seemed to be that way.” She answered nonchalantly. Tabi’s amusement turned to confusion. He slowly raised an eyebrow.

I took it upon myself to arrange things so that no further complication would happen. 

I cleared my throat and spoke with the least emotion I could come out with.

“Seeing as Bommie is known for her strong vocals and since I have already experience rapping in Clap Your Hands, I think it would be best if I work with Tabi’s parts while Bommie will work with Jiyong sunbaenim’s parts.” I finished and looked at Bommie for her approval. She nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as well.

A voice from behind me suddenly spoke up.

“Haven’t you guys heard what we said earlier.” It was sajangnim, YG.

“We told you we want the two of you to go out of your comfort zone.” He added. He looked at Bommie.

“Bom, you will be taking Sueng Hyun’s parts.” He told her firmly. He then turned to Tabi whose eyes’ lit up.

“I expect you to guide her well.” He looked at Tabi’s piercing eyes, sharing the same intensity.

“I’ll hold you responsible if she will not be at her best during the mini concert.” Bommie took a huge gulp while Tabi just nodded seriously, comprehending the words of our sajangnim.

Getting his answer from Tabi, sajangnim turned to me. “That leaves you, Dara.” I held my breath, afraid that his next words would be the death of me.

“I expect you to do more than well during your mini concert.” He held my gaze for awhile before turning to Jiyong.

“And I expect you to ensure that will happen.” Jiyong nodded in understanding. Sajangnim paused and placed his hand on Jiyong’s shoulder.

“I leave her in your hands, then.”

He said before walking away, leaving me helpless in the presence of Kwon Jiyong.






It was past midnight but I still couldn’t get myself to sleep. I looked to my side and saw Wooyoung sleeping peacefully, snoring every once in awhile.

I decided to get up and go for a walk. I took a clean new shirt and wore it.

I left our apartment and headed towards the elevator, my mind filled with thoughts of the earlier events that have happened.

I was engaged in a silly dance battle with Big Bang’s famous leader, Kwon Jiyong.

I danced my way as if showing him and everyone that I’m willing to start to fight for Dara.

But I was brought back to earth by our sajangnims when they forced her to perform his song.

It took me awhile to realize that the elevator had stopped. I exited immediately before it could close.

My mind was still drifting when I went oustide.

Hearing that Dara would be working with Jiyong again caused unexplainable pain in my heart.

It was as if fate was working to bring them back to each other.

I bowed my head while walking aimlessly. 

I was about to lose hope when I saw a familiar figure standing near a tree, her back against me.

Despite my sadness, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Dara…” I uttered when I finally came close to her. 

She turned around and a smile formed on her sweet, innocent face.

God, how I would love to hold her face right now…

“Khun Khun…” She greeted me softly, her eyes twinkling tenderly at me.

I felt my heart beating wildly.

“ Couldn’t sleep as well?” Was all my mind could come up with at the moment.

Her smile widened, though I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“Neh.” She answered. She turned her eyes toward the road ahead of us.

“Too many things have happened.” She continued. “I don’t think I know what to do anymore.” She confessed. I could feel exasperation in her voice.

I nodded, agreeing to what she have said. “I wished it would have been simpler.” I answered, letting my sadness reveal itself in my voice.

She turned to me again, this time smiling like a little child. 

“Don’t you just wish we could just escape and eat ice cream all the time?”

She said, her eyes twinkling like the stars the lit up the sky above us.

I smiled as well, hope surging back to me.

“It had crossed my mind a couple of times.” I answered playfully.

She nudged my side and giggled.




That night, we shared laughter again and escaped.

We escaped the complications of the world and drifted towards our own world.

A simple world filled with nothing but happy memories.