Slowly,Gently,Tenderly



I couldn’t sleep last night. I twisted and turned but somehow, all I could think of was the past events that shook my life here in Tokyo. 

Coming to Tokyo, I was ready to forget all the painful memories that I’ve endured in Korea. I was lost and distraught, scared and unsure. My once almost perfect life, though filled with stress and controversy, spiraled out of control and suddenly left me in the cold.

I told myself that I’ll start anew here in Tokyo. I would leave behind all the bad memories and make happy ones here. I met new people who were significant in shaping who I am today. I kept old friends who have continued showering me with love and guidance, sharing in my journey of self-renewal.

I was well on my way to recovery; I was slowly accepting the things that I cannot change. 

Then he walked into my life again, the ghost that symbolized the innermost fears that I have kept hidden from everyone. He was my insecurity. Walking away from my life, he confirmed the fear that I have successfully erased the moment he uttered the word “saranghae”. That I was not worthy of his love and that all guys are not meant to be trusted for they will only break your heart once they have it in the palm of their hands.

I tore the walls that I have built to protect me from hurting further but the mere sight of him, the mere touch of his hands. All of these were enough to make me break down and looked like a fool.

But I won’t let that happen anymore. It’s been eight months already. I have cried enough. I have suffered enough. I have pretended enough.

It’s time for me to move on.

It’s about time that I start anew.






I couldn’t sleep last night. I twisted and turned but somehow, all I could think of was the past events that shook my life ever since I ended things with her.

Ending our relationship, I thought that it would bring her the peace that she wished for. Instead, it brought her pain beyond what I imagined or expected.

It was the first time I ever saw her cry like that. It was the first time I heard her yell like that.

She was a person who closely guarded her emotions. She was the wall that can never be destructed.

But she crumbled in front of me. 

It was then that I started to realize that what I have done, instead of protecting her, had only caused her so much pain.

I only wanted to protect her. 

I only wanted to give her the peace she had wanted so much.

I sacrificed my love for her in order for her to move on with a normal, peaceful life, away from the controversies that hounded the name G-Dragon.

But now, I realized that what I have done has caused her more harm than good. More hurt than peace of mind.

That’s why I decided to correct the mistakes I have done in the past.

It’s time to straighten things out and let the truth come out once and for all.

It’s about time that I regain the love that I once lost. 







Kwon Jiyong cleared his throat. He was a man on a mission.

“We have already secured sajangnim’s and Teddy’s approval to accompany you to your shoot for the commercial.” He informed us in a business-like manner.

I looked at him seriously. “What about, Teddy?” I asked, copying the tone of his voice. “Can’t he just be the one to accompany us?”

He looked a little taken aback by my tone and what I’ve said but he shrugged it off. “He’s busy arranging the lyrics for the remix of your song.” He replied. “Mr. Matsuura has been pressuring him since yesterday.” He added.

I heaved a sigh. I looked at CL and noticed that she was smiling mischievously.

“You said earlier that you guys are our personal assistants for the shoot, right?” She asked, as if contemplating every word she just said. The Big Bang boys all nodded, although evident that they were not as excited as they were a while ago.

“Well ok then!” She dropped her bags on the floor that Seungri was standing on. Seungri looked at her, confused.

“Eh?” He asked, not knowing why CL did that. CL walked towards the door.

“You told us that you will our personal assistants, right?” She asked. “Then, as part of your first task, carry our bags.” She said sweetly.

Bommie smiled, amused. She set down her bags in front of Seung Hyun and winked at him. MInji hesitated but Youngbae volunteered to get her bags. She smiled and thanked him. Youngbae tossed the other bag, the bigger bag, to Daesung who groaned as the bag fell on his stomach.

Jiyong looked at me, as if expecting that I’d do the same. I ignored and walked straight for the door, carrying my two heavy bags and pretending that they were as light as feathers.

I suddenly felt someone grabbed the two bags from me. Before I could protest, Jiyong walked out of the door, carrying my two heavy bags and made his way outside the building. I called out to him.

“Ya! Who told you to get my bags?!” I yelled, infuriated. Jiyong turned back and looked at me.

“It looked like you were carrying two persons.” He snickered. I frowned at him. 

“Hurry up. You don’t want to keep your 2PM friends waiting, don’t you?” He asked sarcastically. I narrowed my eyes at him.











We were cramped in one van. Jjang Mei, our manager, was seated in the front passenger seat. CL and Minji were sandwiched by Daesung and Seungri. Bommie occupied the window seat of the second row. I was about to sit next to her when Seung Hyun materialized from out of nowhere and sat beside her. I saw Youngbae already sleeping at the back row of the van, his feet blocking the entrance to the window seat.

I shot Bommie a desperate look as I noticed that there was only one row left vacant and only Jiyong and I were the ones left without seats.

I reluctantly took the window seat while he settled in the seat beside me. I shifted uncomfortably.

The ride on the way to the location of the shoot was a long, quiet one. The only sound we could here was Youngbae’s loud snores.

I felt my phone vibrated and immediately took it out of my pocket.

Noona! Are you on your way to the shoot? =D

I smiled upon seeing the text.

Neh. Are you there already? ^_^

I sent the message. A few minutes later, I received his reply.

We just got here. The place is huge! 8)

I laughed at the smiley he used. I keyed in my reply and sent my message.

Waaa! Are you getting cross-eyes or something? Kkkkk! ^_____^

Thru my peripheral vision, I saw Jiyong glanced at what I as doing.

I received another text message. I immediately opened my inbox.

Ya, Dara-sshi! What are you laughing about??

I glanced at Jiyong who was looking ahead. I decided to ignore his message.

After a few minutes, I received another text.

Ya! Are you ignoring me?

I erased his message, furious at his audacity to act like nothing happened.

I saw him dialed a number and pressed his phone to his ear. After a few seconds, my phone rang.

I angrily picked up my phone and yelled. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”

The person on the other line hesitated. “Uhm, noona?” He asked, timidly. I gasped.

“Khun Khun!” I exclaimed. “Mianhe, I thought you were...” My voice trailed off as I heard Jiyong snickered.

“Aniyo, it’s ok!” He answered, suddenly cheering up. “I was just checking where you guys are.” He said.

“Mianhe! We were caught by traffic and couldn’t get out of the expressway.” I explained, worried.

“No worries, noona.” He probably sensed the anxiety in my voice. “I, uh, we were just worried about you guys.”

I smiled. “Aw, you’re so sweet, Khun Khun!” I teased. I heard laughter on the background.

“Gotta go, noona. We need to try our wardrobe already.” He said as I heard Taecyeon calling them.

“See ya!” I said cheerfully as we ended our call.

“See ya! Don’t wanna be ya!” I heard Jiyong said sweetly, mocking me under his breath. I shot him a look that shut him up.

Hayssst… this will be a long ride!


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We arrived at the location of the shoot twenty minutes later. 2PM members greeted us warmly as we entered the location.

“Wassup, 2NE1!” They greeted us. We all smiled and waved at them.

Mr. Matsuura came from behind 2PM together with a beautiful Japanese lady. We found out that she’s head of Marketing of Anna Sui. To her left is an eccentric-looking man with long curly hair. He turned out to be the director of the commercial.

“As you all know, you are here to shoot the latest commercial of Anna Sui. As the latest endorsers of our perfume brand, we chose you because we want to focus on the youthfulness of Anna Sui. As we all know 2PM and 2NE1 are considered two of the hottest icon groups for youth today.” The head of Marketing said. 2PM and 2NE1 beamed at what she said.

Don’t we look youthful too? Seungri wanted to ask out loud

It was Mr. Matsuura’s turn to speak. “Thanks, Ms. Kitagawa.” He bowed towards Ms. Kitagawa an she did the same. “I will let Mr. Riyosawa explain the concept and details of the commercial.” Mr. Riyosawa cleared his throat.

“Basically the concept is…”




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“For this commercial, our main pair will be…” Mr. Riyosawa looked at his pointers.

“… Ok Nickhun and Dara Park.” He said. Almost immediately, the group cheered.

“Whoa whoa whoa, Khunnie Boy!” Junsu patted Nichkhun’s back. “Looks like your pretty face will be overexposed to the camera again.” He laughed.

“Aigoo! The two of you look too cute together!” Bom noona pinched my cheeks.

“Dara unni! This will just be a walk in the park for you for sure!” Lil Minji exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Chansung snickered. “Will there be a kissing scene?” He asked. I looked to my right and saw Dara noona blushed.

I felt my cheeks getting red as well. Damn you, Chansung-ah!

Mr. Riyosawa nodded. “Yes.”

I clutched my heart as I felt it beat uncontrollably.



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“Kissing scene??” I managed to let out a small voice as I felt my heart began to constrict. Seungri was looking at me with wild eyes.

“Hyung!” He was holding me by my arm. “Are you ok, Hyung? Can you hear me?!” He yelled to my ears.

“Ya, babo! I’m not deaf.” I said, annoyed.

I looked at Dara and saw her blushing. Despite feeling that my heart was tightening, I couldn’t help but admire her beauty. This is my favorite look of her, when she is suddenly caught off guard and she doesn’t know what to do.

Looking at her angelic face, I can almost feel my heart being at peace. My peace, however, was bothered by the voice of the director.

“Our main pair is ex-lovers in this commercial. They broke up because the guy committed a mistake and lost the trust of the girl.” The director explained. I stole a glance at Dara who was listening intently.

“The girl is now leaving Japan to go to some foreign country. The guy realized that he can’t let go of the girl and decided to follow her. He’s following her scent all throughout the airport scene. The girl’s scent is what leads the guy to the girl.” He continued, letting us feel the flow of the story.

“The end scene will be the guy finally caught up with the girl in the tarmac. He yells her name, “Dara!” and then the girl will turn around. The guy will run to her and hug her, whispering gently the word “ai shi teru…” Mr. Riyosawa whispered tenderly. I was on the verge of vomiting.

“Then, the guy will pull away from the hug, hold the girl’s face and slowly, gently pull her close for a sweet…” I held my breath.

“… kiss.” Mr. Riyosawa finished, dreamily.

I felt my stomach churning, ready to vomit the breakfast I took earlier.



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The 2PM boys were trying out some more outfits in the dressing room as the outfits they wore earlier did not pass the liking of Anna Sui. They were sharing the dressing room with the Big Bang boys who were not allowed to stay inside the girls’ dressing for obvious reasons.

Jiyong was silently observing the 2PM boys, seizing them up, especially the guy they called the Thai Prince of 2PM.

Nichkhun pulled off the shirt he was wearing, revealing his perfectly-sculpted abs and well-toned muscles. Jiyong couldn’t help but gulp and look suddenly at his own, untoned muscles and unsculpted abs. Geesh… I know I should have tagged along bae when he went on workouts. Dammit!

Seungri passed in front of Taecyeon, making sure that he noticed the flexing of biceps that he did. Taecyeon only chuckled and pulled off his shirt, revealing the perfectly-sculpted and well-toned abs of his. Seungri narrowed his eyes and quickly went to Seung Hyun.

Seung Hyun was communicating with Junsu thru his laser-like eyes. Do you know that Bom hates pandas as much as she loves corn? Junsu narrowed his eyes.
Well, she hates the movie ‘ET’. Junsu snickered. Seung Hyun’s eyes widened.
Are you saying that I’m an alien?? Sueng Hyun continued to stare hard at him. 
You’re the one who said that not me. Junsu snickered some more.

Daesung was about to communicate with Junho and Wooyoung using his eyes as well when the Mr. Matsuura entered their dressing room.

“We shall be shooting the first scene now!” With that, 2PM and Big Bang ran almost at the same time, squeezing themselves through the exit door.



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I, with the rest of 2PM and 2NE1, minus Dara, shot the scenes where I had to run to follow Dara’s scent inside the airport. It took us ten takes to get it right due to some distraction from the sideline.

CL kept on giving Seungri deadly stares as she noticed that the latter was staring at Taecyeon with his panda eyes.

Bom and Junsu felt uncomfortable as if someone was shooting deadly lasers towards them.

Minji was looking worriedly at Daesung who seemed to be intent on making Junho uncomfortable.

But being the professionals that we were, we overcame the little obstacle and were able to finish the scenes.

I heard Director Riyosawa spoke thru my earphones.

“We will be moving to the tarmac now.” He said. “We shall be shooting the kissing scene.”

My heart suddenly leaped a bit.



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I nervously made my way to the tarmac area of the airport. Director Riyosawa informed me that we will be shooting the “kissing scene”.

I looked over to Khun Khun who smiled when he noticed that I was looking at me. I smiled as well despite my anxiety.

The director was giving us instructions and I was listening intently to it, making sure that all instructions will be absorbed. 

I heard the word “action” and almost immediately, the actress in me took over.

I heard Khun Khun called my name. 

At that moment, I felt my heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice calling me.


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“Dara!” I called out to her. I was panting heavily as I was running earlier. 

Dara turned around, her hair swaying as she did so, as if dancing with the gentle breeze that passed by her.

I was stunned by the beauty that I saw. Her innocence shone brightly as the sun reflected her ethereal beauty.

It took all of my strength to carry on with the scene, all the while aware of the fatal attraction that I was having for my noona.

I ran towards her, hugged her as tight as I could as if my life depended on it, just like the way I held her when she was crying during that fateful night.

I took in her scent, felt her breathe lightly as our bodies closed in on each other, closing the gap between us.

I wanted to stay in that embrace for a little more, feel her close to me a little more, hold her in my arms a little.

But I painfully let go of her, knowing that what we are doing is just plain make-believe.

I gently touched her face, tracing my fingers on the outline of her face. I felt her take quick little breaths.

I cupped my hands on her fragile little face and whispered as gently and softly as I could.

“Ai shi teru…” I looked deep into her eyes, letting her see all the hidden emotions I have kept inside me. Her eyes shown recognition, as if affirming that she knows what I wanted to convey to her.

I pulled her close to me and bent a little, letting our lips come closer.

Slowly.

Gently.

Tenderly.

I closed my eyes as I felt her tender lips touched mine.