Such A Beautiful Night




He’s right.


All my life I have lived for other people. Even back when I was not yet Dara of 2NE1 or the “Pambansang Krung-Krung ng Pilipinas”, I have always been in second place to everyone.


I never once complained. I actually loved the feeling of being able to do something worthwhile for someone. 


But there will also come a time when even an energizer bunny like I am would eventually get tired. Everyone has their limits too.


I don’t know if it’s Jiyong’s familiar and comfortable arms that kept me warm despite the shivering cold the night had brought that made me think of things I shouldn’t have been thinking.


Do I still love him?


I looked at his face and saw stillness, like the tranquil water that slowly traveled along the Han River. 


He was beautiful. My words could not even justify the beauty that he exuded tonight.


Any woman would have given her life to be where I am right now, safely tucked in his arms, being held like a fragile baby.


But somehow, something did not feel right.


I looked at his eyes and searched for the answer I was meaning to find. He was the man I once loved, the man who pursued me even after all the pain that we had inflicted on each other.


My eyes were focused on his, not letting go for a mere blink. And there I found it.


Hurt. His eyes were full of hurt. Despite the love and warmth that he wanted to make me feel, he was still hurting.


I found myself edging closer to him as I let my heart speak.


“Ji, mianhe.” I told him as he looked into my eyes. He wanted to say something, that I was sure of, but I pressed my finger on his lips, wanting him to listen to what I have to say first.


“I’m sorry for causing you so much hurt. I didn’t know just how much until now.” I told him. He smiled at me and brushed off a few loose strands of my hair.


“You must have suffered a lot, giving up on your principles to make up for one mistake.” I whispered as I breathed in the familiar scent of our favorite river.


He looked down at me and smiled as he leaned his chin on my head and gently tightened his hold on me. “It was my fault, though. I was a fool to kiss a girl in public just to make you jealous. I seriously thought you and Nichkhun were together at that time.” He shook his head at his foolishness. “I have hurt but everything’s ok now. You’re here now. You’re going to erase whatever pain or hurt that will come my way.” He breathed those words as if they were meant to be heard by me alone. He shifted a little and held my shoulders, turning me to face him. He looked at me intently as if making sure I would listen to every word he was about to say.


“After tonight, I’ll go public.” 


I looked at him with wide eyes. Is he serious?


He looked at me and nodded as if hearing my unspoken words. “I’ll tell everyone that what Yoona and I had was just make-believe. It’s time I set the record straight.” He said with so much conviction I almost believed that everything will turn out for the better.


But Yoona…


Something was bugging me and for a moment, I was able to point it out. 


“I know you’re right when you said that we shouldn’t always put other people ahead of us. But Ji, doing that will cause major damage on Yoona’s career and yours! You kissed her in public then announced that the two of you were dating and now, after three months of supposedly dating, you’ll just announce to the world that you lied about your relationship? You’ve been in so many scandals already, Ji. Adding another won’t do you any good.” I warned him. “And what about Yoona? You know that she will get the most hit for this. Surely, people will say mean things about her. Can you stand seeing that happen?” I felt myself getting agitated. I knew too well how it feels to be on the receiving end of the netizens’ wrath. I am a girl after all and I know no girl or person deserve to receive the hateful words rash fans could brutally send.


Jiyong shook his head in frustration. “What do I do then, D? Continue living in this lie?” He asked me, exasperated. I closed my eyes and felt my head was about to explode from too many thoughts running on my mind.


“I honestly don’t know too, Ji. I honestly don’t know.” I shook my head regrettably.


He cupped my chin and smiled weakly. “I guess this is just one of those ed up situations, neh?” He chuckled bitterly. I placed my hands on both his shoulders and rubbed them as if giving warmth.


“You will pull through this, Ji. I know you will. You always have.” I told him meaningfully. He smiled at me and bit his lips.


“But that’s because you were by my side during those times. You were the one who bravely held me when I didn’t want anyone to even lay a finger on me during that plagiarism scandal I had two years ago. Instead of pushing me away, you held my hand and clasped it tightly with yours when news about me dating Kikoman hit the news. You were always there, D, that’s why I was able to pull through all those scandals.” He breathed as he gently caressed my cheeks. “You have always been my strength, D. Everyone who loves us know that.”


“I was just one of the reasons you were able to pull through. G-Dragon is fearless onstage but Kwon Jiyong, Kwon Jiyong is indestructible. You’re so much stronger alone than what you give yourself credit for. You have been through so many sacrifices that could have broken any other man but you… you’re still here.” He looked at me with such piercing eyes that I felt myself melting on the spot.


“But I’m not whole. Not until you come back to me, D.” He tilted my chin to level my eyes with his. I felt shivers creeping up on me as I saw the intensity and passion in his eyes. 


I almost stumbled, not knowing what to say to him. When I finally was able to find my tongue, incoherent words came out. I breathed in for a few seconds and when I calmed down, I told him what my heart was sure of.


“But I’m not yet ready to jump into a relationship, Ji. I just started dating Khun and then you came back…” I put my hands on my head and shook it in frustration. “I was ok with Khun. I was moving on and finally accepted that you will no longer be a part of my life. I was starting to be happy with him. Then you came back and now my life, it has gone haywire again…” I looked up at him and cupped his face. “I can’t deny that I feel something for you, Ji. But starting a new relationship with you with this state of mine, I’m afraid, will just be unfair to you.” He bowed his head. “I can’t give you my whole heart just yet. Not when I’m still confused.” I gently tore myself away from him and started heading towards the car when he took my right hand, stopping me on my tracks.


“I understand, D.” He said softly. I turned to him and saw him smiling tenderly at me. No hint of bitterness was seen in his eyes. “Maybe the separation and the hurt have caused your heart to forget about me but I will make it remember again.”


“I will make you remember just how much I love you, Dara, that until now, this heart of mine still belongs to you and no one else.”


He didn’t wait for me to answer as he guided me towards the car and sped off into the silence of the night.
















Silence.


I looked at the person sitting in front of me and frowned. The cat was obviously ignoring me, meticulously inspecting her fingernails as if it’s the most entertaining thing to do than look at me.


How can she ignore my great presence?? How can she act nonchalantly after flaunting her oh-so perfect body and grinding against that giant, Ok Taecyeon onstage?!


Did I just say “oh-so perfect body”? No, what I meant was that unbelievably lanky, void of any curve, body of hers. HAYYYYYYYYSSSSSSS!!!!!


That cat’s definitely going to get it from me!


I saw her glance up to me finally. I quickly darted my attention away from her as our eyes met but not before I caught the smirk she had on her face.


I quickly turned my head towards her again and let out a tongue. I saw her smirked again.


Geesh, Seungri! Is that the best you could do?? HAYYSSSSST!!


I realized that I was pitifully losing against the cat in our silent war so I decided to focus my attention on our oldest member who was sitting painfully straight and stiff like an alien who had just arrived on earth.


I saw him stole a glance at Bom-noona while the latter turned her head away from his gaze. I saw how hyung’s face fell and in a matter of seconds, his face turned into a poker face, staring at nothing in particular.


I turned my attention to Bom-noona and saw that she slowly turned her head to the left and stole a quick glance at hyung. Hyung, on the other hand, was looking like he was in a daze, completely unaware that the object of his affection was looking at him. After a few seconds, Bom-noona sighed, picked up her fork and started writing something on her plate which made a slight irritating noise. I cringed as the sound made my teeth hurt a bit.


TOP-hyung looked at her, as if broken from a spell. He cleared his throat and spoke for the first time.


“Noona, you look a lot better now.” He said with so much stiffness he sounded like the late General Kang Kon giving orders to his army. Not that I know how the great General of North Korea sounded when he spoke as I wasn’t even a fetus at the time the Korean war broke out. It’s just the way hyung sounded made me think of a general going to war.


I couldn’t help but let out a giggle but quickly held back when I saw the dangerous look on Bom-noona’s face as she slowly looked up from her plate.


“What do you mean I look a LOT better now?” Uh-oh. I gulped. I know that face and tone so well. My nerves had been so familiar with those as I was always on the receiving end of those look and tone.


I looked at TOP-hyung and saw him froze. Oh no, hyung! You will surely get it now…


I suddenly felt bad for my hyung at that moment.


Finally, TOP-hyung mustered his courage and cleared his throat. “W-what I meant to say, uh, noona was that you lost a lot of weight and looking slimmer than ever.” He managed to say with conviction. I sighed in relief and smiled. Whew! I thought he wouldn’t recover from that.


But I guess I spoke too soon.


I really don’t know if TOP-hyung had somehow adopted Jiyong-hyung’s incredibly stupid habit of speaking aloud his thoughts after hanging out with him a lot during their “High High” album promotion days or he was just so excited to dig his own grave as he felt the need to add the words he spoke next.


“I mean, you looked a little heavy when we left Japan. Probably the remaining three months you girls had in Japan was so tiring and…” 


His voice trailed off when a loud clanking of a utensil against a plate sounded. We all looked at Bom-noona and saw her eyes turned into flaming red. Her hands gripped the edge of table and she was breathing dangerously heavy breaths. I looked at TOP-hyung who was gulping hard, as if realizing the gravity of the situation.


Haysssssst hyung!! Why couldn’t you just shut your mouth and cut the cheese in front of you like you always do when you’re bored??


“So, I looked HEAVY, huh?” Bom-noona said finally, emphasizing the word “HEAVY”, as she slowly looked up and met TOP-hyung’s eyes. Hyung’s ever famous “piercing eyes”, the eyes that can make anyone shudder in fear, suddenly cowered in terror.


“Uh, no-not that, I mean, aahh--- noo-noo-n—noona.. I didn’t mean to, ah, HAAAYSSSST!” TOP-hyung suddenly slapped his head continuously in frustration. We all looked at him with wide eyes as we couldn’t comprehend what he wanted to do at that moment.


I looked at Bae-hyung and signaled for him to rescue hyung but he just smiled at me and shrugged his shoulder. He was obviously enjoying this. What happened to our Youngbae, the Youngbae who always mediate and rescue us when we’re in deep sh*t?? Hayyyyssssst!! I knew introducing him to Kwon Yuri was a bad idea. Now, he’s suddenly acting all cool and stuff.


I took the initiative to save my hyung from further embarrassing himself. I just couldn’t bear seeing our cool and charismatic rapper making a fool out of himself all because of a girl.


“Noona, I think what hyung wanted to----“


“Mind your own business, RAT!” My eyes widened at the audacity of the cat to cut me while I was talking about something important. I lost my composure and stood up.


“YA, CAT!! DON’T YOU DARE CUT ME WHEN I’M SPEAKING! DON’T YOU KNOW THAT WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO SAY WAS IMPORTANT???!!!” I gave her my fiercest glare and she stood up and glared back, leveling her gaze with mine.


“WHO ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, RAT???!!!”


“WAS I TALKING TO YOU?! AS FAR AS I CAN REMEMBER I WAS TALKING TO BOM-NOONA! ARE YOU BOM-NOONA? NO, YOU’RE NOT! YOU DON’T HAVE KILLER LEGS LIKE HER! ALL YOU HAVE ARE------“


“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CALL ME HEAVY, SEUNG-HYUNG!”


“I DIDN’T MEAN IT THAT WAY, BOM. YOU KNOW I DON’T…”


“…. LANKY LEGS THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY BELONGED TO A CHICKEN AND….”


“I DON’T HAVE LEGS THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY BELONG TO A CHICKEN!! EVERYONE PRAISE MY BODY!”


“THEN WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HUH, SEUNG-HYUN?? WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU MEAN? I PRAY PLEASE TELL!”


“I, UH….”


“WELL, EVERYONE, EXCEPT I, IS BLIND!”


“WHY ARE YOU STUTTERING NOW, SEUNG-HYUN-AH? OH, DID I SCARE YOU, LITTLE BOY? DID BOM-NOONA STRUCK FEAR IN YOUR HEART? BOO HOO!”


“HAYSSST…. WHY ARE YOU EMBARRASSING ME, BOM????!!!!! IT’S NOT THAT I SAY YOU WERE FAT OR SOMETHING!”


“BLIND?? EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT YOU IS BLIND? DO YOU WANT ME TO POKE MY FINGERS AND PULL OUT THAT PANDA EYEBALLS OF YOURS SO YOU WILL BE BLIND AS WELL, HUH????!!!”


“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? SO THAT I WON’T BE ABLE TO LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS, HUH? JUST ADMIT IT, CHAE-CAT! YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS! J-E-A-L-O-U-S! JEALOUS!!!”


“WHY YOU, RAT… I WILL KILL YOU!!!”


“YOU WILL DEFINITELY BE DEAD BEFORE THIS NIGHT ENDS, CHOI SEUNG-HYUN!!!!!”


“AH, SO YOU’RE THREATENING ME NOW, HUH, CAT? WE’LL LET’S JUST SEE HOW FAR-----“


“WOW! ALL OF YOU GIRLS HAD GROWN SO MUCH TALLER NOW!”


The four of us including Bae-hyung and Minji looked at Daesung who was smiling nervously, his chinky eyes could barely be seen.


We all looked at him, dumbfounded at his remark. Minji eyed him with a weird expression.


“Oppa, the last time you saw us was three months ago. How could we have grown so much taller in just three months?” She asked so innocently that TOP-hyung and I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. Bom-noona and the cat shot us a warning look.


Dae-hyung’s face paled and slumped on his seat, unaware of what he’s going to reply.


We all fell silent after that.


A few minutes had passed…


*SILENCE*


*CRICKETS CRICKETS*


*SWATTING A FLY*


*LOUD GULP OF WATER*


*UTENSILS CLANKING AGAINST A PLATE*


*LOUD SIGH*


“Oh my… DID SOMEONE DIE?!”


We all looked at the person standing by the door. Dara-noona was standing, covering with eyes wide open. Behind her, our great Kwon Leadah, Jiyong-hyung, stood, eyeing us in confusion.


I looked around and saw the dreadful face of each one. 


“What’s wrong, guys? Seriously? What’s happening? Who died??” I looked at Dara-noona’s stressed face. Her eyebrows knitted in anxiety. Her face looked like one of those distressed anime characters that I couldn’t help but laugh my a$s off, almost falling off my chair.


“Waaaa…. YA! SEUNGRI-AH! WHAT’S SO FUNNY?!!” Her face turned crimson red and her nosestrills flared up as if blowing fire. She truly was the Dragon Girl.


Everyone, including Jiyong-hyung, laughed at the dense, scattered-brain, Dara-noona. 



















I was still fuming mad after being laughed at for a good few minutes. Seriously! Why isn’t anyone taking me seriously??


I glared at Seungri who gave me an apologetic look.


I felt Jiyong held my hand and massaged it gently, calming my nerves. “Hey, give the maknae a break, will you? You know he’s just being playful. And I must say you really look funny earlier----“


“WHAT??! So, what am I now, Jiyong? A CLOWN??!” I raised my voice as I aired my frustration. 


“Geesh, would you hold it a little? You really are a dragon girl.” He chuckled while continuing to massage my hand. I blushed a little at his last remark. “What I meant was you were so funny that you broke the tensed atmosphere earlier.” He told me as he pointed out towards the people who were now cheerfully and happily conversing among each other.


I looked at the happy and excited faces of my girls and saw the eager faces and wide grins that the Big Bang boys have. I couldn't help but feel happy upon knowing I did something good.


“So I really broke the tensed atmosphere, neh?” I asked him with a satisfied smile. He smiled at me widely and ruffled my hair.


“Yes you did. You once again proved YG-hyung’s theory that you can make the impossible possible!” He teased me. I punched him playfully by the shoulders and laughed with him.


We laughed and talked, catching up with each other. I found out that he was busy writing new songs for their upcoming English album, an album to be co-produced by Dr. Dre, one of the most influential rapper-producers in the U.S. I shivered when I realized that Dre Dre was the one who discovered Eminem! He would surely help a lot in the boys’ goal of dominating the U.S. market.


“WOW!! That’s amazing! With your undeniable talent and Dr. Dre’s connection and influences, I’m sure you guys will be such a hit there!” I couldn’t help but give him a hug as I was so happy with his news.


I felt him tightened his hug, rested his head on my shoulders and sighed. I slowly pulled away from his hug and scrutinized his distressed face.


“Hey, Jiyongie.” I cupped his face and leveled it with mine. “What’s wrong?” I asked him. He looked at me and sighed again.


“Mian. It’s just that I’m getting really pressured into coming up with good songs, especially coming up with English songs. It’s so hard knowing that it’s not my primarily language.” He confessed. I felt his dilemma and squeezed his hand to somehow give him comfort.


“Do you really have to be the one to write those lyrics? I mean for sure Dr. Dre has his own lyricists or even Teddy-oppa can do that. He was an English major, right? Hayyyst! YG really is burdening you with a lot of things…” I said in frustration. Come on, give this guy a break! He’s only 23 for crying out loud! Goodness!


He smiled at me as if to calm my worries. “It’s ok, D. I was actually the one who requested that. I want to still be able to write songs for my group, especially now that we’re venturing into foreign grounds. Call it selfish but I want to be a major part of it. I want to make my members feel that though I am not familiar on some of the things we’ll be doing, I’m still willing to give it a try. I’m hoping that by doing that, my members’ worries will be eased off and they will gather enough confidence.” He admitted a little shy. 


I beamed at him proudly. He really has matured a lot. His words not only made me feel how much he values his role as the leader of Big Bang but also how much he values his relationship with the boys.


“The boys are lucky to have you as their leader.” I told him proudly as I played with his hands. He looked up at me with a little boy’s eyes, asking for assurance.


“Really?” He asked me. I smiled again. 


“Neh. Don’t worry, I’ll just be here for you. I will support you and the boys ‘til the end.” I smiled widely, assuring him that I will stick around.


His smile widened and I saw a sparkle in his eyes. “You said that, D. Take responsibility for it, ok? I need my inspiration in order to write those songs.” He pouted like a child.


Although I still haven’t decided at the moment, one thing was clear though. I wanted to be part of Kwon Jiyong’s life. Whether as a friend, a lover or a labelmate, I will surely be there for him to cheer him and give him strength even in silence.


“Neh, Jiyongie. I’ll be here for you.” I told him meaningfully.




















I couldn’t help but smile upon seeing Jiyong and Dara-noona happily talking with each other. Finally, after eight months of suffering, the two seemed to have found the old Dara and Jiyong who could light up the whole room with their eye smiles and dorky personalities.


“Ya! Why are you smiling like a fool?” I turned around and saw Bom looking at me with an amused expression. I blushed involuntarily upon being caught.


“Ani. I just feel happy seeing the two going back to normal.” I pointed towards Dara-noona and Jiyong. Dara-noona was slapping Jiyong’s arm furiously while Jiyong laughed hysterically while continuing to imitate the sensual dance steps Dara-noona did earlier at their MAMA performance.


I heard Bom giggled. I was beside her now as Seungri and CL were talking by the corner of the room with Minji , Dae and Youngbae. “They looked so happy, neh?” She asked me. I smiled in reply. “I almost missed that giddy side of her. I mean, she was also giddy with Khunnie but I guess, she has a different giddiness with the two boys.” Her statement made me curious.


“So Dara-noona and Nichkhun are actually together?” I was shocked. Sure, 2PM’s and 2NE1’s performance earlier showed the surprising chemistry between the two, but I never thought they were actually an item.


“Oh crap! Why’d I slipped?” I heard Bom muttered under her breath. I looked at her intently, as if telling her I know the truth already. She finally sighed in defeat. “Arasso, arasso! But promised me you won’t tell this to anyone, ANYONE, ok? Especially to that maknae of yours who just couldn’t keep his mouth shut.” She gave me a warning look. I zipped my lips, promising my obedience. She continued after being satisfied with my sincerity. “Alright. Yes, they just started dating a few days ago before we left Japan. Although I can feel that Ssantokki has special feelings for him, I know she’s not yet in the stage where she loves him.”


I tried to process what she told me. “So you mean, the two of them are not a couple yet? Just a “mutual understanding” type of thing?” I asked, a bit confused. 


“Yeah, more or less.” Bom agreed. “Although I know for a fact that Khunnie’s head over heels over her.” She giggled. 


I felt a lot better upon knowing that Dara-noona and Nichkhun weren’t a couple yet. That means Jiyong still has a chance to get her back.


Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I hate Nichkhun or whatever, it’s just that our leader had been a mess for the last eight months and as his hyung and his band member, I was extremely worried for him. I was extremely worried that he might be deteriorating. How could a leader take care of his group when he could not even take care of himself?


“Don’t worry about Jiyong, Tabi. I think he will be back on track in no time.” She smiled at me and pointed towards Jiyong who was smiling like a kid, gawking at Dara-noona who was animatedly telling a story.


I smiled at her, happy that she could sense what I was feeling. “Bom, I hope you don’t take to mind what I’ve said earlier. I only meant to compliment you.” I told her sincerely. She smiled at me and gave a little smirk.


“I know that. I just wanted to give you a hard time. Kekeke” She said triumphantly. I narrowed my eyes at her playfully.


“Why you little devil you…” I tickled her which made her giggle and wriggle. I stopped and looked deep into her eyes, my expression turned into a serious one.


“But it’s true. You really looked different tonight. Too beautiful tonight.” I whispered as I quickly gave her a peck on the cheeks, making her blush.


I didn’t care if the other saw us. Tonight, we are the only two people in this room.


Such a beautiful night…



















The celebration lasted until early midnight. We all decided to call it a night as we were all tired from our Japan photoshoot and the MAMA awards.


Jiyong drove us to our apartment just like old times. He told me he would text me to check up on me and I smiled in return.


I heard my phone beeped and reached out for it on my bedside table. As promised, it was Kwon Jiyong.


D, I had a great time tonight. I hope we could do this more often. ^-^ Ji


I smiled brightly upon seeing his text. I quickly keyed in my reply.


Me too! It feels so good… just like old times… Kekekeke ^_^ D


For sure you enjoyed it because of the good food… hayyyssst this rabbit! >;p


I laughed at his reply. I hastily keyed in mine.


YA! Why don’t you just admit that you missed me, huh?! >;p


I waited a few seconds but his text came a bit longer than before.


I really missed being with you, D…


I read his text and smile softly.


I missed you too, Ji…


I clutched the phone near my chest and rested my eyes.


Tonight, I’ll be sleeping with a peaceful heart.

















I groaned as I heard the loud ringing of our phone. I reached for my phone and looked at the time.


8 AM.


I was still sleepy as we slept late last night after having a double celebration with Big Bang.


“BOMMA! Pick-up the phone please!” I begged Bommie who was still snoring. I threw my pillow at her but she just let out a loud grunt.


“PICK IT UP YOURSELF, YOU SSANTOKKI!” She grabbed my pillow and threw it back to me, slamming straight into my sleepy face.


I groaned. Fine! I would never win against the Bominator.


“Yoboseyo?” I answered the phone sleepily. My eyes were still closed and I could feel myself drowsing to sleep any minute now…


“Ms. Park, mianhe for disturbing your sleep. Mr. Nichkhun of 2PM is here. He said he has an appointment with you.” The guard of our building informed me.


“Oh, it’s Nichkhun… please tell him tha------WHAAAAAT???! KHUN KHUN IS THERE??” I blurted out pathetically. The guard sounded surprised.


“Y-yes ma’am. He doesn’t have an appointment with you?” I felt him pause. “If that’s the case I will just-----“


“Ani! Let him in. I was just surprised he was here so early.” I told the guard. After finishing our conversation, I hastily prepared myself. I dressed up in decent clothes and hurriedly opened the door.


He was standing outside our apartment, looking all cute and handsome. He smiled as he saw me.


“What are you doing here so early??” I asked him, dumbfounded.


“Have you forgotten what you promised me?” He asked me playfully.


“Promise you? Wa-what---“


“You promised me that you will make it up to me after ditching me last night.” I cringed upon hearing the word “ditching”. “Now, come on. Change into more appropriate clothes. We’re going out.” He told me as he stepped inside our apartment. I followed him still dumbfounded.


What a way to start the day!