My Kind of Girl





I heard other people say that they can die from getting their heart broken.


Mine had been broken twice but guess what? Yep, I’m still alive.


Three months ago, Kwon Jiyong broke my heart. 


At first, I thought I would die, literally, because I was having a hard time breathing from crying from time to time.


But you see, Bommie taught me a trick she claimed have helped her each time she felt like being suffocated from all the tears she was releasing.


The trick was to blow your nose so hard that you feel your tonsils, together with your larynx and esophagus would come out unintentionally. After doing that, you face the mirror and say, in the most convincing tone, the words “I am beautiful though my nose, as red as it is, could put Rudolf to shame. You (insert the hateful name of the person who broke your heart) are a pest and I would seriously love to step on you and squish you repeatedly like I would do to that annoying little cockroach that prance around my closet!” After saying those lines, congratulate yourself from getting rid of that nuisance in your life and start anew.


Yes, I did all that. I even asked Bommie to write it all down so that I wouldn’t forget the minor details.


You see? That’s why Bommie and I were called “Park Sisters”. We think alike and almost do the same childish things.


Really, we’re the oldest in our group. Kkkkk.


So why am I making fun out of my previous heartbreak, you might ask? 


Well, let’s just say that I can freely and openly talk about it now without bawling my eyes every time someone would mention Jiyong or even something that would relate to him.


If it were two months ago, I’d still probably be the walking zombie Dara, lifeless, dull and a crying machine.


Now, though, the “Adorkable-Goddess D” Dara is back once again. 


And yep, they are calling me scattered brain again. HAYYYYYSSSST!!!


But actually, I’m glad they’re doing that, calling me scattered brain and all.


It makes me feel that the old Dara is back, the old Dara before Jiyong chose to break my heart.


So you must be wondering what has happened for the past three months that made the old Dara come back, right?


Well, let me give you a rundown of the events that led to the much-awaited return of the Adorkable-Goddess D and scattered brain Dara. Let me, Sandara Park of 2NE1 TV (wink), give you a blow-by-blow account!


The first month after my heartbreak was spent for work. Yes, I needed a distraction but finding a fling or a one nightstand just wouldn’t cut it for me. For heaven’s sake I’m already 27! I’m way past the “playing around” stage. So the most logical target was of course, work.


Day and night I slaved myself with work. If I wasn’t shooting a commercial or a music video, I would be practicing at the dance studio, giving my all to perfect and improve my dancing skills.


If in Korea, we avoided variety shows like a plague, here in Japan though, we were BFFs (best friends forever) with them! We went from one show to another, meeting different hosts and mingling with different celebrities. Have I told you already that I met Hero Jaejoong of JYJ? He’s so hot, I swear! (Ok, that was Dara the Fan Girl talking) I also met Heechul in one of the variety shows we guested in and he was so hilarious! I swear I feel like I could stay with him for a long time and not get bored at all. But the person that caught my eyes was the Japanese JE (Johnny’s Entertainment) idol, Jun Matsumoto.


If in Korea, Wonbin was my ideal guy, here in Japan, it’s Matsujun! Yes, we’re in nickname basis right now. Kkkkk. Aigoo… I swear he’s so cute and oozing with so much charisma!


So when I was asked in a variety show one time who my ideal guy was…


“Jun Matsumoto!” I gleefully answered but then turned beet red when I heard people hooting and screaming in delight. KYAAA! I’m so embarrassed now, OMO!


“But in all your interviews, you always mention that you like younger guys. Jun is older than you though.” The host insisted. 


Ya! Does the host have a crush on my Matsujun?!


“I can always change my ideal guy.” I smiled brightly, earning cheers from the audience.


Two days after that show was aired, I received a call from someone unexpected.


“Hello?” I asked, unsure.


“Hello!” It was a friendly voice. “Is this Dara Park?” His English was perfect.


“Neh, I mean, yes!” Something about his voice told me he was not Korean.


“Good!” He sounded relieved. “I’m Matsumoto Jun, by the way. I got your number from Jaejoong. Hope you don’t mind.”


Don’t mind? Is he kidding me?? I could kiss Jaejoongie right now for giving him my number. Kkkk!


“Oh, I don’t mind.” I tried to sound as casual as I could though deep inside, butterflies were doing their own little dance around my stomach.


“So I was wondering, maybe we could go out to have dinner? You know, just a friendly dinner. I would like to get to know you.” 


In any other occasion, I would have turned him down, seeing as how we just talked for the first on the phone. But it was the way he asked me that I agreed.


“Is it ok if I brought along a friend?” I asked him. I was already composing the spiel I would say to Bommie to convince her to come.


“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “If that’s the case, I’ll bring a friend along too.”


“Alright.” We bid our goodbyes and hang up.


It didn’t take long actually to convince Bommie to join my dinner date with Matsujun. All I need to do was mention Matsujun’s name followed by the phrase “bringing along his friend” and before I knew it, Bommie was literally dragging me out of the apartment and into our van where I drove the two of us towards our “date”.


They were already waiting for us when we came in. The friend Matsujun mentioned turned out to be Ikuta Toma, another JE idol who’s the same age as we are and is definitely cute! By the way Bommie’s eyes were twinkling as she looked at him, she must have agreed as well.


The date turned out to be great. Matsujun surprised me because he was all serious in his shows. I didn’t know he had a funny bone to him as well.


Being the gentlemen that they are, they offered to bring us home but we refused (Ok, it’s more of I who refused. Bommie looked like she was about to say yes but I spoke before she did.).


Before we parted with them, Matsujun leaned towards me and I suddenly felt the urge to back away thinking he would kiss me.


I was disappointed though when I realized he was just going to whisper something.


“I hope we can go out again. Just you and me. I’d like to get to know you more.” He smiled and I felt myself melting at his stare.


But I’m a girl who learned her lessons well and I knew that my heart was just starting to heal.


“I really had fun tonight,Jun. Because of tonight, I think I won’t regret choosing you as my ideal guy.” I giggled, his smile growing bigger.


“It’s just that right now, I don’t think it’s healthy for my heart to be romantically involved with anyone.” I told him honestly.


I looked up at him and was surprised to see a look of understanding on his eyes.


We continued exchanging communication after that. He would text me words of encouragement whenever I have a broadcast or would text me just to say “hi”. We became friends and I was satisfied with that.


That night, Bommie and I arrived at the apartment around midnight. We were both surprised to see Khun Khun standing outside the apartment building, in his pajamas.


We tried our best to be unnoticeable as we slowly made our way towards the building entrance.


“YA! Dara-noona! Bom-noona!”


We stopped in our tracks and slowly turned around to face him. We gave him an innocent smile.


“It’s midnight. Where have you been?” Geesh, he sounded like Sanghyun!


“We, uh, met with some friends.” I told him gingerly. 


“Friends?” He raised his eyebrow. Ok, seriously, he’s giving me the creeps.


“Hayyyst! What’s the use of lying, Ssantokki?” Bommie turned to Khun Khun. “We went on a double date. Now, what are you gonna do about it?” She sounded like she was challenging him.


“D-date??” Khun Khun asked as if wanting us to confirm that what he heard was right.


I felt the need to explain myself. “Don’t worry, Khun Khun. There will be no second date.” I winked at him before following Bommie towards the building entrance.








The second month became a lot easier for me.


Finally, our Anna Sui commercial was released in Japan! I marveled at how great we looked in front of the camera while the fans started to notice the undeniable chemistry between Nichkhun and I.


“OMO! Ssantoki! Look at this!” Bommie was squealing delight as she was scanning some random site earlier.


I rushed to his side, so did Minji and CL-roo, and we huddled close together, staring at the site she was looking at.


“Look! You and Nichkhun have fans now. KHUNDARA!”


It was crazy. Our commercial was shown just hours ago and now, there’s already “Khundara”?


“Unni! Do you think Khunnie-oppa saw this already?” Minji giggled like a kid being tickled.


He must have because shortly after, he texted me.


We have fans now, neh? KHUNDARA! ^_^


I laughed at his cheerfulness.


Ya, Khun Khun! Wipe that silly smile from your face!


I was just teasing him though. That silly smile was the reason I got interested in getting to know him.


But it’s true. We were hot items in Japan, especially after our Music Station performance of “Don’t Go Away”. I must admit the choreography of that performance was nerve-wracking! There were a lot of skinship between Khun Khun and I. Not to mention that the skinship were steamy.


In a matter of days, Khundara fans grew in number. We were surprised that the Japanese fans received our pairing positively, considering that Khun Khun has a lot of fangirls and apparently, I have my share of fanboys as well. Comments that were posted in several sites were almost all positive.


KYAA! Dara and Nichkhun just look so good together!


YES! I hope they would date soon!!!


Definitely my favorite pair at the moment!


Oh, I’d definitely ship these two!


They’re just perfect for each other!!!


Nichkhun and I would smile while reading the comments thread. It had been our hobby to check on the sites that have our articles.


I must admit that the skinship in our “Don’t Go Away” performance made my heart flutter on more than one occasion. 


It was as if our nearness and growing friendship were making me consider other things.


But being a girl who learned her lessons well, I knew that jumping into a relationship with him, especially after knowing that he has feelings for me, would be unfair to him. I wasn’t completely healed though.


So I just enjoyed whatever we had at the moment. I must admit though that him acting like an oppa made me giddy on more than one occasion.


And now that I was on my third month, Nihckhun and I were closer than ever. We still went to our favorite ice cream parlor in Ikebukuro just like what we’re doing now.


“KYAAAA! Why don’t I ever get tired of this ice cream?” I exclaimed. I ate a large portion of her ice cream.


We sat on one of the benches and shared a comfortable silence.


It wasn’t long before I broke our silence.


“Khun Khun, tell me honestly. Did you ever fall in love? I mean, be-before me…” I looked down, shyly.


I could tell he was surprised at my question. After awhile, he shrugged his shoulder. 


“I did, before. I was so in love with her but things got so complicated.” I watched him intently.


“Why? What were the complications?” I was curious of his story.


“Well, for one, she’s an idol. I met her when we were doing a commercial together with some other artists from both our groups.” My eyes grew wide upon hearing his revelation.


“Sh-she’s an idol too?” I squealed. Crap, Dara! You sounded like a effin’ pig!


“Yup. Even though she’s an idol, she was humble and approachable, though. Maybe that’s why I was able to gather some nerves and asked her out. She said yes.” 


I was starting to get too engrossed with his story that I wasn’t aware that my eyes stopped blinking.


“We dated for a few months last year. We were both so happy that we were able to date and keep our relationship a secret.” He smiled. He must have been reminiscing the moments they shared. “Then, it was announced that I would be joining “We Got Married” and will be married to Victoria. That’s when things got sour.” He told me with a hint of sadness.


I stayed silent, letting him continue.


“She started getting jealous of Victoria. I knew she tried very hard to be understanding but you see, seeing the person you love being sweet to another girl is just very hard to digest. I heard from her friends that there were times she would be crying while watching the show. I tried so hard to assure her that what I was doing to Victoria was all for the show. She said she knows it’s the truth but she couldn’t help but feel hurt every time she sees it. Things got worse when Victoria and I started to gain some fans.”

I nodded my head. “Khuntoria?” I asked him. He nodded.


“We also had fans but compared to Khuntoria, our fans were not that many. She started getting antis when an article in the internet linked her to me. Khuntoria fans started bashing her and saying mean things about her which I know were not true.”


“I saw how much she suffered and it drove me insane to know that I was partly the reason for her suffering.” He looked sad again and remorseful. “So I did what I thought was best for her.”


“And that is?” I asked him, anticipating his answer.


“I drove her away.” He bowed his head. 


“Why?” I asked him, not comprehending why he did that.


“The same reason Jiyong drove you away. I wanted to protect her. I didn’t want her to suffer anymore. I wanted to free her of all the negativities surrounding her the moment we became a couple. I told her that I have fallen for Victoria and our relationship would not work anymore.” I saw guilt in his eyes.


“Which is not true, isn’t it?” I was asking for a confirmation on his part.


“Neh. God knows how much I loved her back then. I only saw Victoria as an onscreen partner, a friend. The things I did for Victoria, I wanted to do those to her. When Victoria and I went on a date, she was all I could ever think of.”


“Did she found out the truth why you drove her away?” He shook his head.


“Who is she?” I asked, curious on the identity of Khun Khun’s former lover.


“It doesn’t matter who she is. She’s living her own life now.” He told me with a smile.


I just had to ask him one last question.


“Do you think she’s happy now?” The question made him flinch.


“I really hope so, Dara. I hope she wouldn’t do anything that she would regret later on.”


I don’t know why but Khun Khun’s last sentence really bothered me. It was like he was implying something.


My thoughts were interrupted by his question.


“We’ll be going home tomorrow already. For sure, you will see Jiyong at the MAMA tomorrow. Are you ready to face him?” He asked me seriously.


I stared back at him. “It will be hard to face him. That I’m sure off. But I will not be afraid if you will be there to cheer me on.” I smiled at him.


He looked at me for awhile and smiled as well. “That’s my girl!” He tousled my hair.


Suddenly, he grabbed my arm and started dragging me to the street.


“Where are we going?” I asked him confused. He did not answer and instead, continued walking.


It did not take long before I saw where we were heading.


We were in front of Avex headquarters.


We entered the building and went inside one of the studios. He approached the piano and motioned for me to do the same. As I got closer, he sat in front of the piano and told me to do the same. I sat beside him and gave him a curious look.


“Whenever I feel bad, anxious, angry or depressed, I usually play the piano.” He started playing the piano. 


“I found that it actually soothed my nerves, calming me all at once.” He turned to me.


“What do you want to play?” He asked me. I looked at him, dumbfounded.


“I, ah… ahm…” My mind went blank! After a few seconds, I heard a faint music playing inside my head.


“How Can I Not Love You. That’s the song I wanna learn how to play.” I told him without meeting his gaze.


“That’s the one by Joy Enriquez, right?” I nodded. 


He started rummaging through piles of score sheets. His eyes lit up upon finding it.


“I’ll play the piano while you sing.” He told me as he started doing his magic on the piano. I cleared my thought as I began to sing.


‘Cannot touch.


Cannot hold.


Cannot be together…’


We stayed that way for awhile with him, playing the piano while I sang about my past heartache. I felt my eyes drooping after awhile and leaned my head on his shoulder.


He still continued playing the piano as I was still hearing the faint tune of the song like a lullaby inviting me to rest my heart as it would be facing tomorrow the man who broke it.