As I opened the door, I felt a fierce glance coming in my direction. I took my shoes off and looked up. Manager oppa was looking at me in a furious way, with his arms folded in front of his chest. I was ready to hear from him. “Oh, you have your pants ripped! Are you okay unnie?”, Kyunghee noticed the wound in my knee. “Is just a little wound. I’m okay.”, I said smiling at maknae Kyunghee. She didn’t look convinced but didn’t say anything more. “Where did you go?”, Choi oppa asked still in his firm position, “I went outside to the supermarket.”, I answered him, “Were you allowed to go outside, even at this hour?”, he eyed me as if he was about to yell at any moment. I looked to the floor as in a regretting way.

He raised an eyebrow, “How did you get that wound?”, he kept on questioning, proving that he wouldn’t be that convinced with any excuse I would give. “In my way to the supermarket, some boys were running and bumped into me, and I fell.”, I simply explained. Well, it wasn’t lie, what I was saying, just the part about the supermarket. Choi oppa then sighed. “Next time say to me that you’re going outside. I’ll take you there. What if something had happened to you? It is my responsibility to take care of you guys. If anyone of you gets hurt, I’ll take the responsibility for that, because I wasn’t around or I wasn’t able to protect you.”, he then looked at every one of us, so we could understand that he was talking not only for me but for all.

We were quiet. “Okay. Time to sleep. I’m going okay?”, he said and made his way to the exiting door. He turned back and spoke on last time, “You all have my number, anything just call me!”, we nodded and he left.

We sighed in relief, I specially, since he didn’t scold me that much. At this I remembered the plastic bag in my hands. “Oh! I promised.”, I shook the bag in front of me so they could see I actually had bought something for them.

I bought some snacks and they all enjoyed.

After chatting for a bit we went to sleep.

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We had only 10 days until our debut day. We were getting nervous. Nine days passed by in a blink of an eye, as we were busy with the preparations. We filmed the music video, both drama and dance versions.

The title song we had chosen wasn’t that powerful as the CEO had said. While we were recording, I thought we would go with our first track “Just go”, but then it ended up being “Whoz that girl”. Well, the styling wasn’t cute, I think it suited us. We weren’t those type of cute girls. The only one that did aegyo the most was the maknae, but only when she wanted something, not all the time.

It was now 20^th of May. The day before our debut. We were in the dorm nervous as hell. The leader was trying to relax while listening to music in the sofa. Minyoung was eating so she could be less anxious. Yoorin was trying to sleep in the room. Minji was writing on her diary while laid down on her bed and Kyunghee was already sleeping. I needed something different.

I needed something away from everything. If I was near the members I would remember the next day and become anxious right away. I decided to go to the balcony of our dorm. There was a warm breeze outside. The balcony was pretty spacious. We had a table and two chairs and a swing made of cloth, like those we see in the beaches.

I laid down in the swing and closed my eyes. The only thing I could hear was my breathing. The sound of the cars, the horns, the street noise, it all disappeared. It made me comfortable and relaxed. I started humming a song. It was a song I really enjoyed singing, “I dream”, by 15&. It was also the song I sung to Taemin when he was at the hospital. It was a special song to me.

Then suddenly I imagined myself singing that song to a crowd that seemed to never end, in a big stage with all the lights pointed at me. A slight smile formed in my face as I enjoyed my dreaming moment. When I finished singing I looked at the crow that it had been listening attentively to my voice and they all applauded with pleasure, with supportive whistles. I smiled and left the stage.

“Hyunji, you received a text message.”, Hyunjae opened the window distracting me from my thoughts and came near me to give me my phone, which I had left in the table in the living room. “Thank you.”, I accepted the object and she left.

It was Taemin. “Call me.”. I did what I was told and called Taemin.

As usual we stayed talking for hours. He calmed me with his sweet and wise words of him. I would always listen to him when talking of performances, debuts, songs, choreographies, everything. Since he had already debuted and had much more experience than I had, I would always carefully listen to his advises and follow them all the time. He told me some things I shouldn’t do while performing, the solutions to when occurs an accident onstage etc.

And once again, I realized why I loved him so much. He wasn’t only my boyfriend, he was my best friend after all. He was my shoulder to cry on, he was my support. He was my protector, I always felt safe around him. He was part of my life, part of me. It was with him I shared all my secrets, my worries, my fears, my dreams … my love. But I knew I was the same to him. He came to me, when he was sad or having a hard time, I also supported him, comforted him, advised him …

We ended the phone call and since it was already late I went to sleep.

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(May 21^st) Today, was the day! Today was finally the day I would see my dream accomplished. It would be the best day of my life. I was finally going to debut under SME.

I and the girls woke up from our uncomfortable sleep, I can say that we didn’t even sleep because of how nervous we were. We would only go to Show Champion, at 5:30pm or 6pm, since the broadcast was at 19pm. 

I decided to get up, since I would only think about the broadcast and stress. I got dressed and left the apartment after warning the manager oppa that I would go working out.

I walked until the gym and I went to meet “our” personal trainer. “Our” because it wasn’t only mine, he also trained the girls and many SME artists. I texted Taemin that I would be at the gym.

I was coming out from the girls change room when I saw Jonghyun oppa coming out from the boys changing room at the same time. “Oppa!”, I called. Jonghyun turned his head and meet my eyes. I smiled and waved at him. He smiled back and came in my direction. “Hello Hyunji. How are you? Long time we don’t see each other.”, he said, “Yeah, that’s true. I’m fine oppa. I’m very nervous. Today is the day.”, nervously smiled, “Oh right. I almost forgot. You’re debuting today. Taemin had been talking about today since, I don’t know when.”, he chuckled. “You’re going to work out?”, I asked, “Yes. You?”, “Yeah, I need to get ride off this stress.”, I answered, “Okay then, we can go together.”, he suggested and I nodded.

We went together to the training space. Since we would be doing different exercises we waved at each other and went to our respective places. Jonghyun was going to the machines (for the muscles) and I would go to the runners. I would be running a bit.

Every time in 15 minutes the personal trainer would check up on me, if I was doing fine or if I was having any problems.

40 minutes after, Taemin arrived. He met me at the runners and he started working out too.

I stopped from running and I was going to change to another machine. As I was walking by behind Taemin I said, “Nice .”, I smirked while cleaning the sweat of my face. He smiled at my statement and answered back, “Can’t talk much.”, I chuckled and went the personal trainer to do more exercises.

I was done with my working out and waited for Taemin at the entrance.

After changing he came to meet me and we decided to go eat something before returning our dorms, so we could spend some time together alone and in peace.