I was now back to my practice room. I was getting ready to go practice again when unexpectedly, Onew appeared.

He entered. I stood there looking at him. I wasn’t expecting him to show up at his time, in there. I thought that probably he was there to ask for something.

“Are you busy now?”, he asked with a serious expression, “Do you think I’m busy?”, I spoke harshly to him, “Look, I’m going straight at the point.”, he said firm.

He took some breaths. I stood there waiting for him to talk.

He swallowed and finally spoke, “I miss you.”. he only said with sad and hopeless eyes. I couldn’t even tell if he was being honest on speaking those words to me.

It looked like he was telling the truth but I couldn’t believe it.

“Get out.”, I calmly said. It was too much for me. I couldn’t hear anything from him anymore.

My eyes wouldn’t meet his. With shame, with hurt, they just couldn’t look the person that had hurt me, that had hurt my heart.

“Please, Hyunji-“, he tried to talk, “Get out.”, I demanded a bit louder than before.

The heart that kept me alive was too damaged. He didn’t want to be broken every once. It would bring pain and hurt that weren’t wanted.

Onew lowered his head and when he got the courage, he lifted it up just to look at me. “I’m sor-“, he tried to speak again but with anger I yelled at him, “Get out!”, I pointed at the exit.

He gave up and turned around to leave but stopped.

My eyes couldn’t hold it anymore and tears were now covering them.

Onew looked back and saw me crying.

He slowly approached me and pulled me in a hug. Somehow I didn’t react to his hug and continued crying. After some thoughts came to my mind, I reacted to his action.

I pulled back and stood there letting the cold tears dripping down my hot cheeks.

We were now looking at each other’s eyes intensively.

Now I knew that my heart hadn’t forgotten Onew completely. He still had a ‘thing’ for him.

I felt guilty because of that. If my heart had fully forgotten Onew, I wouldn’t suffer as much as I was suffering.

“Please, leave.”, I said while whipping the tears away from my cheeks. “Hyunji, I’m sorry.”, he said, “An ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough. You think you can get here, apologize and everything stays good between us?”, I shook my head, “I know that you’re not going to forgive me for what I’ve done to you. I know that I was a jerk, more than a jerk. I recognize my mistakes and I admit that it doesn’t have possible excuse, but … I just wanted to tell you what my real feelings now are. I might have not showed them to you in the right way but that’s what I feel.”, he paused, he grabbed my hand and placed it in his heart, “This place here is nothing without your love, it’s nothing without your presence, you voice, your gaze. Is nothing without you. I’m feeling empty. My heart is feeling empty.”, he spoke sincerely.

I took my hand away and stepped back. Those words were hurting even more.

“I’m telling you, right here, right now, that I miss you. I would be lying if I said you didn’t have a big impact in my life.”, he was almost crying too.

While Onew was expressing his feelings Taemin was watching from outside. He saw everything. His heart sank at the sight of the two of us.

Taemin could already see what he had been built, what had been through just to have a place in my heart, with a simple act of apologizing from Onew.

Somehow he wasn’t angry at Onew. He just felt sad, unmotivated and that all the work he did, aren’t worth it.

He wouldn’t stay until the end, so Taemin left with his heart almost breaking.

Love could be really complicated.

If Onew wouldn’t leave, I would.

I had got enough.

Without another word a left the practice room running. I was crying like cascade. Tears wouldn’t stop falling. I was hurt. Pain was stealing the love’s place in my heart.

In the way, to find a place where I could cry alone, where I could think, where I could let out all of those tears, I bumped into someone.

As I was lifting my head to see the person I bumped into, I got surprised.

I knew that the person would question me until I wouldn’t say something about the reason of being crying.

We looked at each other and I got prepared for almost experiencing a police interrogatory.