"I love you. It's not a good thing."
 

"You should run away."

"Now, before I catch you."
 

After we came from our little trip I had nothing much to do so I just followed Seung Hyun around like I was some dumb brainless creature who didn't know how to think on it's own. But it's not like he was moving around much, he just grabbed his pillow and announced he'd go take a nap in the fields. I noticed how droopy his eyes looked again and he kept yawning too, tiredness clearly reflecting on his whole profile.

Seung Hyun looks cute when he is tired. He becomes very clumsy, tripping over smallest things and even his own feet. This makes him look vulnerable and lost, like a little puppy without his mother. I wanted to grab his hand and guide him to safety but didn't have enough guts. He would get wrong ideas again and I didn't want that. I didn't want to seem desperate

My eyes glued at his back I followed him down the stairs but it pained me to see his shoulders sink lower as if the weight of his problems was too much to bear. Just like my father who got betrayed by my my mother, his shoulders sank like that and he cried, crumbling down like he was nothing. He broke.

But Seung Hyun didn't cry, he smiled at me and his smile didn't even look sad. It was gentle and beautiful. So I got this feeling everything was all right when nothing really was, nothing. How can you know something is broken if it looks just fine?

"Here, have it." He handed me the pillow when I slumped down on the ground.

"I'm fine" I simply said but before my head came in contact with the ground the pillow was pushed under my head, anyway.

"Don't be stubborn, I don't like sharing what's mine so you should feel honored right now" Seung Hyun chuckled as he sat beside me. He doesn't seem like a greedy person but then again, who knows what he really is like. "Feeling tired?"

"A little" I admitted and yawned.

"Me too" he whispered playfully and lied down, placing his head on my stomach. Of course, there had to be some catch for him to give up on his pillow. The next thing he will probably ask me to play with his hair.

"Pepsi-"

"I know." My fingers sank into his soft hair before he could finish his request. "But I haven't washed my hands for a while though."

"I haven't washed my hair for two days."

"It feels clean though..." Great, even his hair is perfect.

I thought he fell asleep because he didn't say anything for a long while but then he suddenly spoke, his eyes tightly closed.

"This place is pretty nice."

"Well, there is a reason I sometimes come here, you know."

He sighed.

"Hey Snickers, tell me something about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

"I dunno, just tell me something what comes to your mind, like your happiest memory or something."

"My happiest memory..."

"Something like that."

"You don't want to hear."
 

"Just tell me."
 

"I don't think that's a good idea."

I pulled gently on his hair. "Say it."

"Okay, but I feel bad for saying this. Just, so you know..." he sighed. "When I saw her for the first time and felt that powerful electric pang strike my heart, it was pretty amazing."

A bittersweet smile lingered on his lips. Geez, how cheesy coming from a guy's mouth. Electric pang?

"Then why do you sound so sad?"

"Because it's just a memory now" he pouted. "If only it was possible to forget... that would nice."

"Then you wouldn't have a good memory like that" I reasoned.

"And be happier."

"So what happened to this Soo Yeon?"

"You said we were talking about happy memories."

"Fine. So, you fell in love with her at the first sight?"

"I didn't know it was love though, it took me a long time to figure out. Maybe too long..."

"Do you still see each other sometimes?"

"Pepsi, we are talking about the past."

"Why be so secretive about her? It would be nice to meet her one day. Someone who looks just like me, it's pretty amusing. Maybe we could change places" I played with the thought.

"I don't think that's such a good idea" Seung Hyun suddenly sounded somehow bitter.

"It would be a blast. To live a few days as someone else."

"And what if something unfortunate happens and you can never go back to being yourself?"

"What could possibly happen?"

"I don't know" he shrugged "Anything..."
 

"Never mind then" I mumbled. I still think it's a good idea. "So, about this Soo Yeon, when did you meet?"

"I'm too tired to talk about these things."

"You are making it obvious you don't want to talk about it."

"I am trying to be obvious."

I chuckled at his words and saw him smile too.

"Why not? What's keeping you from saying I met her in high school or I met her when we were still kids..." I continued, feeling now more relaxed than before.

"I don't want to reveal everything about myself. Being mysterious is the most important part of being y."

I rolled my eyes, my gaze following a certain cloud that looked like a frog.

"I still remember when I called her name for the first time and then she..." Seung Hyun suddenly grew quiet.

"She what?" I asked lazily.

"I think I forgot."

"No you didn't. What did she say? Told you off?"

"Kind of" he uttered a soft laughter. "I'm sleepy, let's not talk anymore" he moved a little, searching for a better position.

"You fell in love with a girl who insulted you?" I asked in disbelief. "You are crazy."

"Not only insulted, she made me feel miserable. From day to day it was just pure torture."

"Then why do you love her so much?" I wanted to know.

"Because" Seung Hyun smiled sweetly.

"Just because."

"Uh..." I scratched my forehead. "Seriously, why?"

This reminds me of myself and Jiyong. Why do I like him again?

Just because...

"Just because, she was there for me when I needed her and I know that deep in her callous little heart she cared for me a lot" Seung Hyun chuckled.

"And you know what, her moon used to be broken too. We were so similar though completely different, we needed each other, completed each other and together we were invincible. Anything was possible, nothing stood in our way.

Someone like that... you get to meet and fall in love with a person like that only once in your lifetime. Afterwards, nothing can beat that feeling and you find yourself missing it so much it kills you."

"Sounds great, I mean the first part." I stared at the sky, my eyes empty.

I couldn't deny I was feeling jealous, I wished a love like that could happen to me too. Something as beautiful.

"But this makes me wonder, what the heck happened to you two?"

"A stupid mistake" Seung Hyun sighed. "I ruined it all so naturally, I get to suffer for being a foo-" he cleared his throat "An idiot."

"It's not like you to give up halfway" I closed my eyes, feeling the wind sweep over my face. "It sounds strange."

"I'm weaker than you think" Seung Hyun turned to his side and I felt his eyes on me.

"Don't stare."

"When it comes to... her, I am so weak I can barely breathe" he whispered. "But only when it comes to her."

"So, you have a weakness too" My eyes fluttered open and I raised my head a little to see his twinkling eyes, our gazes locked. "That makes you more human."

"More human than a donkey?"

"No, you are still a donkey."

He pouted cutely.

"And you will always be" I said firmly.
 

"Fine" He buried his face into my stomach. "So Pepsi, what about your memories?"

"Well" I stared at the sky again, ignoring him snuggling against me, though it felt comfortable.

"I don't know... I think the best memories are ones about my grandma and then Jiyong. It's a pity he never met her. He would have deserved her scoldings" I snickered.

"Jiyong? You guys must have been quite a duo back in the days" Seung Hyun smiled sweetly.

"You should have seen us" I smiled too. "I miss those days."

"I can imagine" he sighed as if he missed those days too.

"Wait, you are not seriously going to sleep on my stomach" I propped my upper body on my elbows and looked at him, a little suspicious. He had this delighted smile on his lips.

"It's pretty talkative. I find it amusing to listen to it's ramblings."

"Get off" I flicked his cheek.

"Shhh, it's telling me a fairy tale."

"About what?"

"How ice cream and noodles met in your stomach, fell in love and continued their journey to the south together not knowing what will become of them" he snickered.

"Very funny" I mumbled dryly as I lied on my back and closed my eyes.

Guess, it doesn't feel that bad having him there. That Soo Yeon bit.ch doesn't know what she is missing on. I am just going to hate her from now on even though I don't know the whole story. To make this smart pants player so sad and heartbroken, she must have done something really bad. Even though he is taking all blame on his own shoulders... He seems like that kind of person, someone who is always blaming himself.


"What kind of name is Soo Yeon? That's so stupid! Do I look like some dumb country bumpkin to you? Besides, it's rude to remember people's names wrong. You are so stupid! My name is not Soo Yeon it's..."


I still remember when I met Jiyong for the first time, he was so quiet and sad as if whole world had collapsed on his petite little shoulders. When I think about it, the Jiyong now is a complete opposite from the Jiyong in the distant past, when we were just kids. I guess, people change a lot when they grow up.

He cried every night when we were supposed to go to sleep. When I asked him what was wrong he said he was scared, and when I asked what he was cared of the list went on and on for so long I fell asleep. I am not sure if he continued crying but in the morning, his eyes were still red and puffy. I didn't know what to do with his whiny a.ss.

Every time after his mother finished reading us some fairy tale she switched off the lights and wished us good night after pecking us on the cheeks. It was something my mother had never done and I liked it, everything she did made me feel so loved. But as soon as the door closed Jiyong would sigh and in no time start crying. He was very quiet but I still heard him sobbing.

What did I do?

After insulting him, making fun of him and finally after trying to soothe him... nothing worked. I told him there are no monsters and witches, the end of the world won't come and no one would eat him while he is asleep.

But when he asked "What if we wake up and our parents are gone? What will we do all alone? Who will take care of us?"

I didn't know what to say because, I knew it would be possible. I had gone through something like that too and my little heart beat nervously. One day it was my mother, maybe the other... my father too?

I thought for the longest time and then I finally came up with an answer that was good in my opinion.

"I know a good place. We can go to heaven."

I sat up in my bed, that was a small tatami on the floor, Jiyong's was on the other side of the room. To my disappointment he didn't seem to be satisfied with the answer, probably thinking I meant we would die. But I didn't think about dying. I thought about the orphanage. It has always been a place, where I could come and be always welcomed, like a second home.

"The bus fare is not very much and in my piggy I should have enough money for two tickets, we can lie about your age so you can go for free" I pondered aloud. "Since you are so scrawny and small. Even if you are five, I can lie you are three." My plan was perfect, or so I thought.

"There can't be a bus to heaven" Jiyong pouted, tears falling from his eyes. "I don't want to die."

And he cried even harder.

"Stop crying you... you... pu..pu.. lion king" I growled at him, using a new word I had learned from older boys that day. "

It's a place on earth, so we don't have to die. One day I'll take you there. You know, even if everyone leaves you I will be here" I smiled and grabbed my favorite soft toy, a worn out bunny that I had had around since I was a baby, and handed it to Jiyong.

"Here, you can sleep with Mr. bunny, if you hug him real tight he will make your worries go away."

That's what I told him when I squatted in front of his bed. And to me, he looked so miserable while carefully peeking from under his comforter, sniffling and his eyes moist. He almost looked like a bunny. Kind of cute.

"You are a true loser" I sighed and pat his head. "Always crying like a little girl, what a disgrace of a brother I have here. Other brothers protect their sisters from bullies but you are no use."

He pouted a little angrily. "But you are bigger so it's easier for you to fight."

"I'm not fat, my bones are big" I glared at him. "If you keep making fun of me I'm going to leave too."

"No, no" Jiyong's eyes widened in shock. "You are not big at all and you are pretty too" he spoke quickly.

"That's good" I sat on my and crossed my legs. "What else?"

"Well..." He gave it a thought. "You are funny, good at drawing, fast at eating and your voice sounds good and you are also very smart" he smiled a little.

"It's all true" I nodded. "You should eat faster too or one day you will die from being so small and thin, and you need to practice singing too and you are bad at drawing and" I paused because Jiyong was looking at me dully.

"What? I am telling the truth."

"Good night" he mumbled and turned his back at me. "I think I feel better now."

"Hey, you have to thank me for lending Mr. Bunny to you."

"Thank you."

"And?"

"Thank you princess."

"You welcome servant" I snickered as I got up and walked back to my bed. "If anything shall happen to him you will pay with your life."

"I see..."

"By the way. You can't go anywhere either."

"I promise."

His voice was firm and for once he sounded like a boy, even giving me the feeling of safety and comfort. Satisfied with his answer I lied on my bed, all ready to fall asleep but as I was drifting into the dreamland I suddenly felt a tug on my comforter. My eyes fluttered open and I saw Jiyong squat beside my bed.

"What now?"

"Mr. Bunny isn't helping" he gave me my toy back.

"What? No way, it always helps me."

"But for me... it doesn't seem to work at all, at all" he hiccuped.

"Not again..." I groaned in despair.

Jiyong looked heartbreakingly sad as he lowered his eyes and his lips trembled.

"Yah! Don't dare to start that annoying crying and whining again" I gasped in shock. "I wanna go to sleep." I whined.

"But I can't help it, I don't want to cry but tears come on their own."

I saw another big one roll down his cheek and I groaned even louder.

"I'm just scared of being alone" he whispered.

"But I am here."

"When I close my eyes then it feels like I am alone."

"Then, let's sleep together" I suggested and while he was busy thinking I got up and pushed his tatami next to mine. He has always been like that, thinking and thinking...

"And you can hold my hand, even though" My eyes narrowed at his hand. "Your hand is not dirty, is it?"

"No" Jiyong shook his head.

"Still, go wash it."

"But it's dark and what of a monster-"

"Go wash it" I glared at him.

"But..."

"This is why you should stop playing with dino toys and play with my dolls, then you wouldn't be scared" I said with matter of the fact voice.

"But I like dino toys" Jiyong's face fell.

"Go wash your hand and if you hear weird shuffling it's just a princess sneaking around" I said dully. "Go!"

"Okay" Jiyong said in defeat. "But if a monster kidnaps me you will be left all alone. You can't blame me!"

"Like I am scared" I said proudly.

But when he left and didn't come back for the longest time, what it seemed, I actually got a little worried. But a sigh of relief escaped my lips when I saw him run back in the room and straight next to my bed. He fell on his knees, his face pale and his hands trembling.

"It was so scary..."

"So are your hands clean now?" I asked.

"Here" He offered his left hand. "I only washed this."

I didn't even ask why, men and their logics...

"Then here" I offered him my hand. "Hold it until you fall asleep but then you need to let go. If any of my friends find out I've held a guy's hand they will never talk to me again. Keep this all a secret!"

I glared at him and he nodded silently.

"Even though this is disgusting I am nice enough to agree to hold your hand. Not everyone gets to hold a princess' hand, you know. Yuck, and you are a boy too..."

Jiyong just sighed as he lied down and grabbed my hand, closing his eyes really tight. I think he was embarrassed. I remember thinking it was kind of cute.

"But don't cry anymore, okay."

"I won't" he mumbled into his pillow.

It was him who fell asleep first but he never let go of my hand so I had to remove my fingers from his hold, which was tight. Still, next morning when I woke up he was holding onto the hem of my shirt.

Like that, every day after that day, we would always sleep next to each other and he would always hold my hand or grab a fistful of my shirt. Never letting go as if always afraid he'd be left alone in the whole big world. And I don't know why didn't I ever wonder what made him like that.


What can make a little kid so scared?


Eventually, when we grew older we got our separate rooms but occasionally I would still wake up to find Jiyong lying next to me, deep in his sleep. Or then he'd come into my room in the evening with his tatami and say he wants to sleep together.

He didn't hold my hand anymore, and instead of his face, his back was turned at me but still, when I woke up he was holding onto my shirt, always.

Well, it was very disturbing in our high school years to wake up my face buried into his back and my hand resting on his waist. I would kick him off the bed and yell at him for being a ert. He'd just yawn and say it was me who was all over him and not the other way around. I had nothing to say to that. Ever...

When I asked him why did he want to sleep next to me he'd say something like "I had a bad dream", "Sleepwalking" or "I was feeling lonely."

And when I told him it was disgraceful for a girl and a boy our age to sleep together he'd always look at me dully and shake his head saying: "Well, I don't see any girls in here. Besides, you are the ert here... and I don't mind."

That smirk, I can see it so vividly in front of my eyes even now.



Some annoying melody intruded my dreams and I frowned, moving my head a little. It kept ringing and ringing. Someone's phone.

"Yah! Jiyong turn off your phone" I grumbled but nothing happened and it kept ringing.

"Jiyong" I complained and hit what I thought was him sleeping next to me. "Turn it off."

"Geez, it's not mine" I head him grumble in answer. "I don't have a dumb ring tone like that."

"It's not mine either."

"Aish, leave me alone, I wanna sleep."

"So annoying, where is your phone?" My hand fumbled for the cellphone, never finding it. I finally realized I was lying on the grass, outside. Wait a second.

"Jiyong" we both said in one voice.

"Huh?" I slightly opened one eyelid and looked to my left from the corner of my eye.

"Hmmm" Seung Hyun mumbled in his sleep.

My eyes opened wide open. The heck? He was sleeping on his side, next to me, using my hand as a pillow and my hand was sore. I couldn't feel it. How heavy is his head? One of his hands was resting on my stomach, and did I see right?

My eyes darted at his hand but he woke up too and quickly moved it away, before I could confirm if he was holding onto my shirt or not.

Something uncomfortable dwelling in my stomach I gulped down my saliva and forgetting about our position stared at the sky. It seemed too strange to be just a coincidence. Him holding onto me like that.

But... How to explain this... Why is it him again?

"Yobosejo, oh yes" Seung Hyun sat up as he brought his cellphone to his ear. "Nee, nee, oh thank you very much. Please don't flatter me, it was nothing" he spoke with a very respectful tone of voice. Still lying on my back and my hand spread out I stared at him. "I was happy to be of a help to you, nee, nee, nee." He let out a dry business laughter, his face stiff and expressionless. "We will see next week, well then, goodbye."

After finishing the conversation his shoulders sank a little and he scratched the back of his head. Like this, he had been pulled back into the harsh and troublesome reality. I pitied him. He didn't look like he enjoyed doing business, even though he seemed to be really good at it.

"Aish, how annoying" I heard him mumble by himself. "What a prick..."

I raised one eyebrow. So much for respect.

"It was totally not worth waking up." Seung Hyun turned to look at me, his eyes still sleepy.

"I can't move my arm" I said dully. "Who gave you permission to use it as a pillow?"

"I gave my pillow to you" he grinned. "So, it's only natural for you to share a little."

"Aish" I turned my back at him and bringing my arm closer to my chest I rubbed it. "It hurts" I complained.

"Your tummy would hurt more. You see my brain is big and heavy because I am too smart for my own good" he joked.

"Tsh."

"I'm still sleepy." He lied next to me and suddenly I felt his arms wrap around me as he inched closer.

"Yah, hands off" I flinched.

"No." He buried his face in my shoulder blade. "It's comfortable like this."

"Yeah, but I don't feel comfortable."

"Just a little while" he yawned. "Let me fall asleep and then you can push me away."

"No, get away." I grabbed his hands.

"I'm cold" he whined. "You know I can't fall asleep alone, stop pushing me away while I am asking nicely."

A dull look spread on my face. "Go find someone who enjoys sleeping next to you."

"You do" he chuckled warmly. "You love it, don't you? My plushie."

"Are you hinting I'm fat?"

"You could lose a few pounds."

"You!"

"Just joking, you are perfect."

"Aish, whatever..." I guess, I softened a little when he called me perfect and then I felt a need to cover it up. "I am not sleepy anymore."

"Well, too bad cuz I am not letting go."

I groaned. "Then fall asleep quickly."

"Thanks baby" he whispered.

I swear I was so close to biting him but then a question popped to my mind and I forgot about everything else. Even him calling me baby.

"Say, why can't you fall asleep alone?"

"Because" Seung Hyun murmured, falling asleep already. "I feel lonely."

"No you don't" I frowned. "You are afraid, aren't you?"

"It's nice to sleep next to someone."

"No, you are afraid to wake up alone" I insisted. "You are afraid to be left alone, aren't you?"

"Alone..." he mumbled, his hug tightening but never becoming uncomfortable.

"That's why you always wake up so early."

He didn't say anything, his breathing becoming steadier but still, my mind cleared and I finally saw the answers in front of myself. He was like a kid who had been abandoned once, traumatized for the rest of his life.

"But you are so mean, you know" I frowned, my hand fumbling for his and I squeezed it softly.

"You are afraid to be left alone yet you are always the one who leaves first."

"I'm sorry."

My heart froze when I heard his whisper.

He is sorry.

I am crazy for having these thoughts.

"Jiyong?"

"What?"

"Jiyong?"

"Yes?"

I sat up abruptly and his arms fell off me, lifelessly, he was asleep.

"Seung Hyun?"

"Yeah?"

"Seung Hyun!"

I saw him frown.

"Seung Hyun?"

"What is it?" he finally groaned.

"Seung Hyun?"

"Tell me?"

"Are you really Seung Hyun?" I asked slowly.

"Babe, it's oppa" he chuckled and my shocked expression changed into dull one when he wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled against me.

"Sorry, I am too tired for any action right now." he mumbled. "Let's just sleep..."

"Idiot" I flicked his forehead and he frowned, stirring in his sleep.

It's Seung Hyun.

It can't be Jiyong.

I mean, how ridiculous would that be?

It's just, not possible.

Or maybe he is doing this on purpose? Just to confuse me more. Something tender suddenly struck me and I lied back down scooping him into a hug. I don't know but something about Seung Hyun lying alone on the ground made him look miserable so I had to hug him.

My heart racing madly, I buried my face into his hair and sighed, confused by my own actions. I couldn't let go of him because I knew the pain of waking up alone and the feeling of being abandoned, I knew it way too well.

Who knows why tears squeezed out from my closed eyes when his hand gripped tightly onto my shirt and I felt touched.

He doesn't want me to go.
 

When I woke up I didn't expect to see Seung Hyun sit beside me, leaning back on his arms. I thought he'd leave, like always but this time he stayed. I wondered if he had ever stayed with any woman until the morning? But this was a different situation, we only slept for a couple of hours.

He looked bothered by something, his eyes concentrated somewhere far away and his thoughts clouded with something troublesome. He looked so handsome with those pouty lips and furrowed brows, so important, so VIP, so distant.

"Why are you still here?" I asked as I sat up.

"Why? I wanted be the first you see when you wake up" he winked.

"Okay" I yawned, showing him how excited I was to see him. "What time is it?"

"It's about 3pm and I have bad news" he pouted. "Jiyong can't come today, he will come tomorrow."

"Hmmm" I closed my eyes and fell back on the ground. "It's your fault I am feeling tired now, I slept too much" I complained, a frown spreading across my face. "How annoying."

"I said, you could leave as soon as I fall asleep" A gust of wind hit my face when he lied beside me and his fingers brushed against my forehead when he swept my bangs off my face.

"But you didn't, is this a hint of some kind?"

"You didn't leave either..."

"Well, what do you think?" His fingers trailed down my neck.

"Don't touch me" I growled.

"I wish I could keep my hands away. It's your fault for being so y and pretty."

"I'll sue you..."

"For what?"

"ual harassment."

He chuckled and I knew what his next move would be when he placed his palm on the ground, next to my head. I let him lean in but when I finally smelled his addicting cologne my hand raised up and I pushed his face away, not being in the mood for kissing and fooling around.

He seemed to be in that kind of mood, always and with anyone. I slowly opened my eyes and saw his amused face.

"Don't be boring."

"I am not one of your bit.ches" I spoke clearly and calmly, not really mad at him for anything. Just making sure my point goes through. But did it?

"Yes, you are not, you are my fairy" he said sweetly, propping his upper body with his elbow, his eyes gazing at me.

"Someone is in a romantic mood today" I .

"Someone isn't."

"Why would I be when you are acting all cheesy?" I uttered a laughter. "It's getting old you know."

"Should I change my tactics?" He raised a brow. "Would you like something wild and exotic more?"

I imagined him dressed as a Tarzan with banana in his hand and then he turned into a gorilla. Uh, maybe not... I was never much of a fan of the King Kong movie. What a fiasco...

"Aish, we need to go. Let's not waste whole day doing nothing, I feel like doing something productive."

If we engaged ourselves into some kind of meaningful activity it would take his attention away from flirting and teasing me. I hope.

As I was about to stand up Seung Hyun unexpectedly grabbed me and pulled closer to himself.

I yelped, my coming in contact with the ground a little painfully and my back hitting his chest. I ended up sitting between his legs. He kissed my neck sending shiver down my spine and buried his face into my shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around my chest.

"What are you doing now?" I asked idly.

"Just stay like this for a moment."

Why do I get the feeling he is breaking apart? It really feels like he is holding me for the last time. My heartbeats quickening and my face flustering, I grabbed his hands trying to pry them away but the more I struggled the tighter he held me.

"Let go" I whispered. "When will you stop fooling yourself? Do you really feel better thinking I am someone I aren't?"

"Dara..." he sighed as if pleading for me to shut up. He rarely said my name out loud, usually he'd use one of his stupid nicknames.

"Can't you see we are two different individuals?"

"Maybe I am blind then" he sounded a little unsatisfied.

"You are just hurting yourself. Stop being a fool" I mumbled. "I don't love you like she loved you and I never will, because my name is not Soo Yeon and I am not her."

When will he open his eyes? Isn't he sick of torturing himself? And... of course I will never love him like Soo Yeon did because... because I wil-would love him in my own way...

"Besides, what would Jiyong say if he saw us like this?" Magic words worked again and Seung Hyun's arms unwrapped from around me.

"Aish, can't you just forget about everything for a second?" he whined. "And get lost for a while?"

I think he sounded a little annoyed.

"Lost in what?" I turned to look at him and he flashed me a weak smirk.

"Me."

"Tsh" I scoffed. "I'm not stupid, you know." I'm not going to fall for a guy who doesn't love me.

"Why must you always play so hard to get? I know you want me as much as I want you?" he waggled his eyebrows.

"If you are feeling then go back to Seoul and play with one of your bit.ches. I am not in the mood and when it comes to you I will never be in the mood" I poked his chest.

"You make me feel cheap. And besides, we are at a monastery so please keep your thoughts clean."

I am sick and tired of these love games, enough is enough.

"God, you sound just like Jiyong." Seung Hyun uttered a laughter. "That's why I love you two so much. My baby brother and my baby..." he suddenly grew quiet, still staring at me.

"What?" I raised a brow.

"Let's just say, my baby cat" he pat my head. "Anyway, I am hungry."

He got up on his feet and stretched out his hand, I grabbed it and he helped me on my feet but didn't let go of my hand. I just rolled my eyes and followed him, it would have been waste of time to fight back. Well, in fact holding his hand was comfortable and I didn't even notice how a smile crept on my lips. I mean, if anyone saw us they'd think we are a happy couple.

I wanted to laugh at the thought but couldn't due to all the giddy sensations in my chest. If only he was just a normal guy...

Seung Hyun stopped, swiftly leaned closer to me and pecked me on the forehead.

"You are giving me the creeps" I gave him a weird look.

"I'm just in the best mood ever" he grinned.

"You are keen on making me fall in love with yourself, huh?"

"Who said such things? I'm just in a good mood and the surroundings are making me feel so nostalgic my heart is about to burst" he laughed in a relaxed manner and I saw his dimples. "I need to went that somehow or I'll go crazy."

"Oh my god" I mumbled. Why does he sound like he is ready to fall in love himself? "You must leave as soon as possible before you do go crazy."

"I'm afraid it's too late" he mumbled.

"What?"

"Oh!" He stopped abruptly and I bumped into him as if it had been written in the stars. His scent made me feel dizzy and as I stopped back and rubbed my nose my eyes followed his gaze and I saw a car park in front of the orphanage.

"Who is that?"

"That's..." Seung Hyun just stared at the guy who walked out from the car, silent and surprised.

Feeling curious I jerked my hand away from his hold and made my way towards the stranger. He was tall and his hair was short, dyed in reddish color. I wouldn't say he was really good looking but he was decent, and kind of cute. When he saw me he suddenly froze in his spot, his eyes glued at me and I also thought he looked a little familiar, I just couldn't point my finger at it. Besides, the longer I looked at him the cuter he looked, strange.

"Sandara Park, is that you?" he suddenly asked.

"You know me?" I gaped at him. How random is this?

"So you are." A kind smile appeared on his lips. "Don't you recognize me?" He quickly walked around the hood of his car, closer to me. "It's me!"

"Me who?" I tried to rack my brain but just couldn't put a name and face together. This is embarrassing...
 

"Bum Sang, have you forgotten"? he pouted.
 

"You?" I gasped. "But what, why, how?"

He had lost most of his weight so that's why I didn't recognize him. In fact that made me feel a little disappointed, he didn't look as cute anymore. He has to be chubby or then he is not Bum Sang at all.

"Wow, it's been such a long time we saw each other last time" Bum Sang chirped. "You haven't changed at all."
 

"And you have too much!" I exclaimed, still shocked.
 

"It can't be too much."
 

"Dude, no, it's too much. Look at yourself. Half of you is missing!"
 

"Isn't it all better now?" He spread his arms to the sides as if giving me permission to take a good look.
 

"No." A slight frown appeared on my face. "I think I liked the old you better." A smirk crept on my lips.
 

"Is that so" he uttered an amused laughter. "Should I start gaining weight then?"
 

"I have a better idea, just hand all pastries to me" I smiled. "By the way, I went to your bakery but you weren't there."
 

"Is that so? Oh no, what a pity!" He looked disappointed. "You have to come again!"
 

"Trust me, I will." I pat my stomach.
 

"If I haven't got bankrupt that is. I mean, if you want me to start eating a lot again nothing will be enough anymore."
 

For a while we just laughed, happy to see each other as if we hadn't parted at all.
 

"But whoa, what a coincidence!"
 

"Yeah" I nod