Here I am.

I'm yours.
 

I love you.
 

Because Seung Hyun was busy with some business we only could meet after three days. That left me more time to plan everything out perfectly. I even went to buy new, extra manly clothes, baggy jeans and an over sized hoodie, all from men's clothing shops.

Damn, I am dressing up for the player again. Argh, why can't I just give up? The heck am I trying to prove him now?

Wrapping a bandanna around my head before putting on the cap and stopping in front of the mirror to take the last glance at myself, I nodded with satisfaction. So I looked like one of those skater girls, in fact I even bought a skateboard so I could carry it around. I don't even know how to skate but who cares? As long as I look manly enough.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that skater girls look lesbian. I am just going for a little tomboyish and sporty look. So please, don't misunderstand me!

I arrived to the restaurant early, in fact 40 minutes too early. I was feeling impatient so I couldn't stay home any longer. Of course, the restaurant was a simple pizzeria, it couldn't be anything too romantic. Looking gloomily around myself, I kept fidgeting in my seat and sighing. Waiting for him was so nerve wracking and I don't know when was the last time I had felt so nervous and anxious.

I was finishing up my third cola bottle and trying to surpass the nervousness within myself, to no avail. My hands kept trembling. What if something goes wrong? What if Seung Hyun actually likes skater girls? What if he won't believe me when I say I don't like him. What if he has some kind of super good proof of me liking him? What am I gonna do then? Will I have to just admit everything?! NO! I don't want to admit anything. Besides, I don't like him! I don't, never, no, ARGH! Okay, maybe a tiny little bit?

What will happen if I won't be able to convince him that I don't love him? What do I do? I will never find out about the secrets if he tells me to never come to Paradise Kiss again.

I fiddled with the bottle. I think I might just chicken out. And why the heck am I so nervous about meeting him? And suddenly, for some reason, I started feeling like I was going on a real date. I haven't felt like that for ages. Why is it Seung Hyun again? Making me feel so anxious in a good way...

"Nuna?"

I looked up and saw Daesung stand in front of me. Not believing he was there I blinked and pinched myself.

"Do you skate too?" he asked, a bright smile spreading on his lips. My eyes flicked at the skating board he was holding. "Weird, I haven't seen you around" he rubbed his chin.

"Hey, you comin' man?"

"Just a sec" Daesung waved at some guys. "But why do you look so pale?" he turned to look at me with concern. "Are you feeling sick somewhere?"

"Daesung!" I yelled. Startled, he stepped back and other customers turned their heads at us. "I mean, sorry" I lowered my gaze. "Save me..." I added very quietly.

"Wait, is it about that guy?" Daesung quickly took a seat across me. "Is he coming here?" he looked around. "Or is he here already?"

"What if I fail?" I actually felt a lot better when he was there. Yes, my sunshine, fill me with your energy!

"Well, I told you not try to look cute" Daesung leaned his elbow on the table and placed his chin in the palm of his hand.

I stared at him in disbelief. He was supposed to encourage me, not make me feel worse. And he sighed giving me a look filled with so much adoration. No, he can't be signaling I look cute. NOOOO! I wanted to roar.

"Don't I look manly enough?" I asked in panic. "It took me ages to decide on these clothes."

"I think you look cute" Daesung held a thumb up. "I like this style. A lot" he winked playfully.

Joking his time away, isn't he?! I'll kill him later.

"What? No!" I gasped. "Noooo."

He nodded with a pout on his lips "You fail" he smirked.

"What if he thinks I am cute?" I cupped my cheeks.

"Wait, want me to act as your boyfriend?" Daesung suggested. "That will make him stop thinking you like him and I can always beat him up if he continues to bully you."

It's not even funny how he was talking about those things with a smile on his cute face. I covered my forehead with my left hand. Nothing goes my way nowadays.

"You two..."

I looked up and Daesung glanced over his shoulder.

"Hyung?" he asked in confusion and then quickly turned to look at me. "Is it hyung? That guy?"

I just lowered my head in shame.

"Daesung, I thought we had an agreement" Seung Hyun crossed his arms over his chest.

"I didn't know she was talking about you, I though-"

"How stupid can you get? Aigoo..." Seung Hyun lightly slapped Daesung's head and then his gaze shifted at me. I stared back at him my eyes slowly squinting.

"An agreement?"

"You are so, so, so..." Seung Hyun shook his head. "So you were seriously asking me on a date?" he looked desperate.

"I thought fairies are smart." I saw a smile tug his lips up.

"What did you think then?" I frowned. "I need to..." I suddenly grew quiet.

"Nuna, you could have asked Taeyang hyung or Jiyong... you know... out?"

I stared at them both in disbelief. Don't tell me... they... Seung Hyun... this situation right now... My jaw literally dropped.

"And now you tell her?" Seung Hyun growled "What were you thinking when she asked your help?"

He knew I would?

"But I thought she was talking about some other guy" Daesung insisted.

"What other guy?" Seung Hyun asked in disbelief. "You are both so stupid. AISH!"

So it was just an act all along? A simple act? I scoffed, my fingers gripping on the cola bottle. So Seung Hyun made fun out of me once again. I was the only one taking this all seriously and stressing over it. How could he play with me like this? I... this... I have no words to describe how I feel.

"You must be proud of yourself" I said dully as I stood up. "Making fun of me must be the meaning of your life or something."

Seung Hyun suddenly looked troubled and apologetic. "Listen, it's not what you-"

"I don't want to hear" I glared at him. "Go to hell."

"Wait nuna" Daesung sprang up from his chair but I didn't stay to listen what he had to say.

I felt so empty as I walked down the street. So all along, I have been worrying for nothing? I should feel relieved so why aren't I? Why am I so angry? Seung Hyun probably didn't mean anything bad with this, he just wanted to help me and Jiyong get together.

But... It hurts. I placed my hand over my heart. I feel like a fool, like an idiot and so stupid. I fell into his trap again and for a flash second I though I am really falling for him. Our kiss a few days ago, my lips were still burning. His touch, I could still feel it linger on my skin. Gracious God! I can't be falling for him. This is crazy! I hate players, I hate how they use love like a toy and that's exactly what he is doing. This is depressing.

How could I ever think I like him when he changes women every day, like socks? And right after kissing me he goes to kiss Bom without thinking it's weird. I mean nothing to him, nothing. I am nothing! Now I feel even more depressed. Damn, he just wants to get me and Jiyong together, even Taeyang has somehow been left to the background as if he knew when to step away. I can't like someone who doesn't care, that will hurt so much.

I don't want to. I don't want to like him, I want to like Jiyong.

I slouched my shoulders and dragged the skating board behind myself. My faint heart is definitely a curse. Why do good looking men have this strange ability to invoke women's feelings and so easily? What's so special about them? Why do they use their strange powers just to get their selfish ways.

Stupid Seung Hyun, how could he do something like this to me? Even after I was willing to overlook his weird behavior. I don't even know how long I walked but then I slumped on a bench at some random bus stop and sulked.

He made a complete idiot out of me. A complete idiot.

At some point two guys sat on my both sides and I knew who their were. I knew they followed me all the way.

"Go away."

"I'm sorry" Seung Hyun pat my shoulder. "But I don't even understand why you are angry at me."

Of course you don't!! I rolled my eyes. I don't get it either.

"Nuna, please don't be angry. Let's go eat ice cream it will cheer you up."

"I don't want to eat anything. I'm pissed right now so keep your distance."

"I can't believe you never thought about the idea of someone pretending to be your boyfriend." Seung Hyun chuckled.

"If only I wasn't so stupid" Daesung sighed. "That would have been like from a movie" he added with a tint of amusement in his voice.

"So fairy, you missed your chance to feel like a heroine in a movie" Seung Hyun ruffled my hair.

"Don't touch me" I slapped his hand and sent a death glare his way. Seung Hyun pouted pulling his hand away and lowered his gaze in shame. Yes, repent, that's what you ought to do.

"I'm so freaking angry at you now. Always just having your fun and making me look like an idiot. Stop playing with my feelings like that."

His smile stiffened when he saw the hurt in my eyes and he looked away from me.

"But he did it for you" Daesung punched my shoulder. "Nuna, let's do something that will cheer you up."

"Yeah" I glanced at Daesung. "Let's kill the useless player."

"Even though you are cute when you sulk, I still like your smile more" Seung Hyun sighed. "Who will shower you with compliments if you kill your oppa?"

"Shut up" I glared at him .

"You don't have any idea how I feel. I feel like, like-" I poked his chest. "I feel used, I feel betrayed and stupid! You always make me feel like I'm so incredibly stupid."

"You are not" he smiled sweetly and slid the back of his finger along the bridge of my nose.

"I said don't do that" I grabbed his hand and bit him. How many times have I done this already?

"Dara, don't be ridiculous. I didn't do it to make you feel stupid. I just wanted to help." Seung Hyun sounded cheery but he looked kind of hurt. Why is he hurt? What did I do?

"Yeah, he just... erm" Daesung stared at Seung Hyun's hand that was still my mouth.

"Are you hungry?" he asked out of the blue. I just squinted my eyes at him and bit harder.

"Tsh, hey, let go" Seung Hyun tugged his hand but bit him even harder.

Feel my pain you lousy bastar.d! Thanks for playing with my feelings! But instead of expressing pain on his face he kept smiling that amused smile. That fake smile.

"She is definitely hungry" Daesung was convinced.

"I've had enough of your flirting insanity" I finally let go of Seung Hyun's hand. "I'm leaving forever, goodbye."

"Eh? Nuna, wait. You are not angry at me, right?" Daesung trailed after me. "Please, don't be angry."

"I'm not angry at you" I sighed. "But I am not talking to that player idiot ever again."

"I know what will make you feel better."

"No, I don't want to eat ice cream."

"Nope, remember my friends at the pizzeria?"

"What about them?"

"Want to come watch how we skate? Everyone is really good" Daesung smiled. "Let's buy something to eat and go to the park, nothing is as fun as skating on a day like this. It's warm and the sun is shining so brightly. Come on nuna, show me one of your pretty smiles" Daesung nudged me in the side.

"No" I turned my head away from his cute face in order not to give in.

"At least, come with me" He grabbed my hand and tugged me to the opposite direction. "Come."
I gave up resisting because he was just too cute and adorable to resist.

On our way we grabbed some take away food from Mc Donalds and went to the park. It's been a while since I are a big mac last time. I hope Jiyong won't come around and make fun of me. And besides, I was actually getting pretty hungry so I ate with good appetite while watching Daesung and his friends skate. They tried their best to cheer me up by doing funny tricks and making fun of each other.

I didn't know seeing people get hurt would be fun because it sure was funny when someone fell down in a weird position. No one got hurt so it was okay to laugh a little. They were laughing at each other too.

I have no idea where Seung Hyun disappeared to but I was happy he was gone. Still furious at him for making fun of me in such a way, I frowned when his name flashed in my mind. I know, I know. He just tried to help but in what way? Pulling the strings of my heart any way he wanted?

It was scary to realize how he had me in the palm of his hand like that. Since when and how? Why do I let him control myself like that? Why is it that everything he says has such a strong effect on me? When Jiyong told me he is in love with me I never gave it any deep thought so why the heck only thinking about falling for Seung Hyun makes me blush like an innocent ?

Sunlight kissed Daesung's skin as he jumped high in the air, I gasped when I watched him get down that railing and clapped my hands, a laughter escaping my lips. I saw some girls stare at him and his friends. They weren't that good looking but good enough.

I nodded approvingly, Daesung would make a cute boyfriend. I grabbed my soda and bit the straw between my teeth. I wish I was high schooler again. Hmmm... I wonder if Daesung furthered his studies after high school? Probably not.

"Dara, I'm sorry."

I shuddered and slowly turned to look to my left. Seung Hyun stood there with a careful smile on his lips.

"I didn't know you'd take it so seriously."

Damn, he put on that miserable look again. Like a little puppy trying to please you. How can you resist that?

"Tsh" I scoffed but couldn't say anything else.

He looked like he was genuinely sorry. Again, melting my anger so easily with only one look and I hated myself for giving in so easily.

"Whatever" I lowered my eyes. It would be useless to go against those puppy eyes, he is just too charming.

Seung Hyun sighed and took a seat next to me.

"Seriously, I wasn't planning to make fun of you or anything. I was just getting annoyed by the lack of progress between you and Jiyong. I thought this was perfect plan but it failed miserably" he pouted.

"Maybe because I like Taeyang more?" I said bitterly.

"Whatever, just... as long as..." he ran his hand through his shining hair "Whatever."

Surprised by his words and sudden silence I turned to look at him. He looked troubled and maybe a little depressed.

"You didn't have to attack me like that about liking you" I said blandly. "You gave me a shock."

"Could it be you really like me?" he teased right away.

"No" I said promptly, even though it must be a lie. I guess I like him a little.

"I rest assure you. There is no way I would ever, I mean ever, fall in love with a sleazy player like you" I said proudly. "I have more self respect than you think." Or then not?

"That's good to hear" he ruffled my hair sounding a little hurt yet relieved at the same time.

"But I like you a little, anyway" I said meekly.

"You are... kind of... nice" I shifted my gaze off his face, a little embarrassed. "But not now, only when you are not making fun of me. And I am still angry..."

A cute smile appeared on Seung Hyun's lips as he watched me stammer and that adoring look in his eyes made me grow silent.

An awkward silence fell between us. Geez, we are acting like some fresh couple or something. Why isn't he saying anything? I glanced at Seung Hyun but suddenly he seemed to be deep in his thoughts and just stared blankly in front of himself. I moved my gaze away from him and looked to the opposite direction. For the longest moment we just sat there without a word, somehow the atmosphere was making me feel anxious.

"I-"

"This-"

We both said in one voice and I glanced at him from the corners of my eyes.

"That" I blinked when I saw him holding the necklace.

"You" he said at the same time with me.

"What?" I asked, my eyes lingering on the necklace for the longest time.

Seung Hyun cleared his throat, his eyes shifting away from my face and back. I almost smiled realizing he was actually feeling awkward, maybe for the first time in my presence.

"You can have it back now" he smiled.

I frowned "But a few days ago..."

"Because I wanted to fix it" Seung Hyun's smile stiffened a little. "Sorry about that too. I was in a really bad mood that day and you wouldn't give it back so... I don't know what went into me" he said hesitantly. "I'm just... just really sorry. About everything."

I pinched the heart pendant between my fingers and turned it around. Now along with Always & Forever there was Fairy & The Fool craved on the other side.

"Because of this?" My eyes flicked at him. "You wanted to have it because of this?" I asked him in disbelief. "Why didn't you say so?"

"I didn't want to, it was a surprise" he smirked faintly, holding in his breathe. "Do you like it?"

"It's you again" I eyed him with suspicion. "Why is it you and not Jiyong?"

"It's my gift to you two." he shrugged.

"You know how romantic Jiyong is" Seung Hyun said with sarcasm lacing every word.  "So, I am just helping a little. It's cute, isn't it?"

He took the pendant between his fingers and examined it with that gentle smile on his lips as if he was looking at something incredibly precious.

"It's perfect."

My heart started beating weirdly, my breathing becoming sharp and a little painful. I tried to control it by holding my breathe in, desperately trying to steady my heartbeats. He was making me feel weird again.

"Okay, shall I put it on for you?" he leaned a bit closer.

"No" I leaned away. "I can do it myself." My cheeks flustered, a meek pink spreading treacherously over my skin and I was afraid it would give out my true feelings.

"It's a little complicated, let me do it for you" Seung Hyun said casually.

"Don't come closer" I crossed my arms in front of my face.

"Huh?" He gave me a weird look. "I won't touch you anywhere funny, I promise."

I blushed harder. Not that I would object... My thoughts started trailing off into PG 18 land again. This is what I mean, the guy turns me on.

"No, not because of that" I averted his eyes.

Embarrassing me again... I don't want to smell his cologne and feel his touch on my neck. It feels too good, too addicting, too much of everything and leaves me thirsty for more.

"Turn around, stop acting weird" Seung Hyun laughed. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I just don't feel comfortable with you around" I put on an irritated face trying to hide my nervousness about him being so close.

Trying to hide my heart, trying to ignore what it was telling me.

It's not like my words mattered because like always he invaded my personal space, anyway. Without waiting for me to turn around his fingers already brushed against my neck as he locked the necklace. He leaned over my shoulder to see better and swept my hair to the side.

My heart sped up when I felt his warmth and touch. Why is he always torturing me so much? I even felt his breathe on my hair. I wanted to hug him, my arms inched to wrap around his waist and pull him closer. I felt breathless, here I go again with this useless crush. Balling my fingers into fists and biting my lower lip I tried my hardest to resist him.

"Okay, it's done" he finally said and I quickly pushed him away.

"I need the bathroom" I said sounding kind of weird and dashed away.

"It's the other way" Seung Hyun shouted after me. I stopped and slapped my forehead. Stop blushing, stop blushing, stop blushing. With my face lowered I turned around and quickly walked past him trying to act indifferent, luckily I was wearing a cap. But I bet he noticed me acting weird an all.

Splashing some cold water on my face made me feel refreshed and a lot better. I can do it. I glared at myself through the mirror. Dara, you can handle one player. You can be around him without blushing and thinking how hot he actually is. Just imagine he is ugly and disgusting or think about Lee Jun Ki.

I felt quite strong when I left the bathroom but when I saw Seung Hyun sit casually on the bench with his both arms on the backrest and his legs crossed, I felt weak in my knees again. The way his hair shines when sun rays hit it, the way he smiles, the way his eyes twinkle, there is something magical about it, like a fairy tale. Bringing his hand to his alluring lips he laughed at something and following his gaze I saw Daesung lying on the ground on his face. He quickly scrambled up and almost fell again when he accidentally stepped on his skating board. I smiled at the sight too. Cuteness overdose. Then I glanced at Seung Hyun again, hotness overdose.

Ah, his blazer was ed revealing his fresh and ironed collar shirt and I swear I could see his abs press through the fabric. His silver wristwatch glinted in the sun and his necktie hung loose around his neck.

What am I going to do now? I wanted to turn around and run away, far away. When I go sit next to him, I bet he is going to act all super sweet to make up for his outburst a few days before.

 How the hell will I handle that? Should I act like I'm still mad at him? But then he will start his flirting to try to make me think about something else. Aish, I grabbed my head. There is no way out from this spell. He is not a player, he is a magician.

After spying on Seung Hyun for the longest while I decided there were no other opinions but to go back to him. Besides, I just saw him glance at his wristwatch.

"Was the line really long?" Seung Hyun asked when I sat next to him, specifically speaking, as far as possible from him.

"Yeah, so annoying" I lied indifferently.

"Hey, do you know how to skate?" he suddenly asked and poked my skateboard with his foot.

"No" Then I realized how stupid it is to carry a skating board around and not know how to skate.

"You can't?" Seung Hyun raised his brows.

"I mean, I am just beginning to learn" I grinned and scratched the back of my head. Aish, why do I have to do that whenever I feel nervous and why do I feel nervous whenever I look at him?

This day is weird.

He smiled sweetly "Show me."

"Why? So you can laugh at me when I fall?" I asked sarcastically.

"I won't laugh, I just want to see" he insisted "Really."

"Then can you skate?"

"I can" he nodded.

"You will have to show me too."

"If only I wore some other clothes" he grabbed a fistful of his blazer.

"Well, you can skate a little in that."

"I won't say how expensive this suit was, you would faint" he grinned.

"If anything happened to it... I won't live. It's my favorite" he explained. I eyed his stupid suit and saw no difference compared to all his other suits.

"Unless" I caught Seung Hyun look at me from head to toe and the look that seemed to strip me from my clothes made me shiver.

"What?"

"Well, you are wearing men's clothes, right?"

"How did you know?" My eyes widened and I slapped myself mentally. Why tell him?

"Because I usually wear men's clothes too" he laughed. "So, what size?"

"Why do you want to know? You think I am fat?" My eyes turned into slits.

He laughed "No. That just looks like my size."

"You are saying?"

"After you show me how you skate I can show you how I do it if we exchange clothes."

"Exchange clothes?" I shrieked. "Forget about it, it's not worth it."

"See that girl there" Seung Hyun pointed somewhere and I nodded when I saw two girls sit on a bench chatting and watching the boys skate.

"I bet 3 thousand won that she will be so impressed with my skating she will ask for my phone number."

I narrowed my eyes at Seung Hyun "Why should I care? Besides, I already told you I don't like you hanging with other girls beside Bom."

"What, are you my mother?" Seung Hyun looked at me dully. "What should we do then, sit here doing nothing?" he raised a brow.

"We can watch boys skate."

"I don't like watching boys skate" A playful pout lingered on Seung Hyun's lips.

"It's been a while since I did it myself. I bet you are just scared to fall in love with me, I look pretty good doing all those tricks."

I let out a dirty laughter. "I don't believe you can do any of those tricks! No one looks as good as Daesung does."

"Du'h, I taught him how to skate" Seung Hyun said proudly.

"No, you didn't" I eyed him with great suspicion.

"And some of his friends too" Seung Hyun added proudly.

"That's a lie!"

"Oi, is that a challenge?" he smirked with mischief.

"Yeah, I bet 3 thousand won you can't do as impressive tricks as they do" Even if he taught them, it must have been a while since he skated last time. They are probably a lot better than him. And besides, what 29 years old guy goes to skate?

"Then hurry up, show me what you can do."

"I said I am just a beginner." I stood up and poked the skating board with my foot. Looks dangerous.

"But you can at least do ollie, can't you?" Seung Hyun asked teasingly.

Ollie? What's that? "Uh... I can just..." I stared at Seung Hyun and his carefree smile. He was keen on making me look stupid, I could tell.

"I can just stand on this and that's all" I said proudly.

"But that's a skill too" Seung Hyun teased playfully, careful not to hurt my feelings.

"Shut up" I put one of my feet in the middle of the board. Okay, here I go. I kicked some speed and lifted the other foot on too. At first it felt a little shaky but I managed to keep my balance, it was easier than I imagined, so I kicked some more speed. Hey, this is fun.

"Bend your knees" Seung Hyun instructed from behind me.

"Okay!"

I smiled happily as I went a little lower, he was right with my knees bent I felt even more balanced. Yahoo, I don't know why I felt so incredibly happy just going around on the skating board but I even forgot about Seung Hyun. Soon I got a hang of how to move to the sides.

And there I was skating around and giggling like a little girl, making complete fool out of myself. Until...

"Look out" Seung Hyun grabbed me and spun around, kicking the skating board to the side in the process. A second later a scooter drove past us and sped away. Since when was he standing nearby?

"What? When, how?" I gaped at the scooter with my jaw hanging. I was just leisurely skating around and some bastar.d dared to drive here like he pleased. This is a park for God's sake, not a highway.

"Um, would you mind" Seung Hyun mumbled.

Wait, I don't feel the ground... "Huh?" I quickly pulled my hands away from around Seung Hyun's neck.

His hands were wrapped around me under my waist and he was holding me in the air. Almost like in the hotel room when I fell off the bed. I stared at him, shocked and dumbfounded. He looked back at me his eyes questioning my reaction.

"Did you get a fright?" he asked carefully. "Hey, are you all right? You look pale."

I wanted to say something but couldn't. Let me down you idiot! I feel like my heart is going to burst with joy because you are so cool, handsome and so close. Not knowing what else to do I pinched his cheeks and pulled his face. That's when he quickly let me down.

"I told you no to touch my face" he rubbed his cheeks, looking unsatisfied. "By the way, what are you going to do about this?" he lifted his bangs and I saw a faint bruise on his forehead.

"You deserved that" I shrugged looking elsewhere.

"And the corner of my eye is swollen, it's going to bruise" he complained.

"I glanced at his face and now that he mentioned it..." A satisfied smile spread on my lips. "That looks so good on you" I teased.

"Esih, you brat" he ruffled my hair. "Next time pay better attention to your surroundings."

"I don't want to skate anymore" I said dully. Enough for me, what if that crazy scooter guy comes back?

"So I can do it now?" Seung Hyun asked with excitement in his voice.

"You want to skate that bad?"

"I said, it's been a while. And that girl" he glanced at the direction where the two girls were sitting a while ago "She is still there."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but how do we do it, the clothes?"

We asked Daesung to help carry the clothes between the bathrooms after I made it clear to Seung Hyun I was NOT going to appear half in the same bathroom with him. He didn't seem to understand my point saying he has seen everything anyway. Typical man...

I couldn't believe I agreed to do something as crazy as to change clothes with him. While putting on his collar shirt I regretted already. It all smelled like him, too much of him. Now I will feel like he is around all the time. Besides, of all colors I decided to wear black bra so I had to wear the jacket to cover it all up and while dressing up I got really hot already.

I snickered by myself, I should just sweat a lot in his clothes so it will stink later. Okay, what the hell was that thought? I hope I don't stink. I smelled myself and nodded feeling satisfied when I smelled my perfume still strong.

I hard to roll the pants up because I was afraid to ruin the legpants and also sleeves because they were so long my hands were fully inside. When I finally got dressed I came out, cooling breeze welcoming me.

If I sit still I won't sweat too much, I thought as I scanned the surroundings in search of Daesung and Seung Hyun. They were standing under a nearby tree laughing about something. Daesung noticed me first and his smile widened.

"Whoa! You look kinda cute" he dashed towards me.

I stared at Seung Hyun when he turned around. The pants weren't loose for him, a little baggy though. He was holding my t-shirt in his hand because he wore his wife beater under the hoodie that hung loosely on his shoulders, ped. He smirked boyishly at me when our eyes met.

"Cute" he held a thumb up.

"Ha ha, this so funny" Daesung walked around me. "You look like a loan shark."

"Here" Seung Hyun handed me my t-shirt. "I don't need that, unless I can wear it around my neck and dry my sweat with it" he joked.

"No" I grabbed the t-shirt away. Though, what a tempting suggestion...

"Okay then" Seung Hyun glanced at Daesung. "Let's do it" he turned his cap to the side. "Watch me, baby" he winked.

"I'll laugh at you" I said dully and watched them walk ahead. Damn, he looks good in those clothes but something about him wearing a cap seems familiar.

Especially when I look at his back. He doesn't feel really familiar, just feels like long ago I have seen him somewhere before, like this, but where? I can't tell.

Is there anything in this wold Seung Hyun can't do? I lose. Seung Hyun is good at skating and he manages to shine brightly when he does things he full heartedly enjoys. He looks beautiful, I sighed admiring his profile as he joked and fooled around with Daesung's friends.

That's why he is my idol crush, because he is so freaking admirable. Even though he is a slimy player he still manages to look cool if he wants to, in a way only wonderful people do. To figure out Seung Hyun, is it really impossible? If I didn't know him at all, I would think he is just a simple guy, a nice one. But then again, do I need to figure him out? Why do I keep trying?

Also, that girl really went to ask for his phone number, I saw him flirt with her and she turned into a walking jelly. Why are girls so gullible? Couldn't she tell he is just an useless player? Or is it because he manages to put on that innocent facade? Is it even a facade?

He looks so real when he smiles cheerfully and his eyes twinkle. He looks so real that it hurts. If only he never had that traumatic, shocking and violent past... what would he be like now?

Maybe he would be happy, without that tint of melancholy in his eyes? I kind of want him to be happy but he often seems distracted, sad and troubled. No wonder. If there are some gangsters running after his life.

A frown lingered on my eyebrows. Where is Seung Hyun going with his life? What does he want to achieve? What do I have to do with anything? Why does he want me and Jiyong so badly together? Don't tell me he feels bad for stealing Bom from him and now... It just doesn't feel right, there must be some other reason. I don't even know if his motives are good.

"When love killed me" I whispered by myself.

What does that mean? When he said it he was in such a broken state, he was crying. How can I figure it out?

My heartbeats fastened when he looked at me and made a little wave with his hand. I pretended I didn't notice him so he waved more, an unsatisfied expression spreading across his face. He practically forced me to wave back at him so I did, a little awkwardly. He smirked and turned away, going back to whatever he was doing.

Tsh, I smiled and lowered my gaze. As I pressed my chin lower I smelled his cologne, it was hugging my body ever so comfortably as if he was hugging me. Making me smile like this...

Come to think of it. Has anyone ever made me smile like this? With so many overflowing emotions teeming in my chest, this meek smile represented something special. And I hate the fact he made me smile like this. He who doesn't care nor appreciate it, at all.


This is when I realized I was going to get hurt... totally broken.


This little crush is starting to get out of hand.


I tried to convince myself that Jiyong was the only one for me but to little avail. It was hard when I was so angry at him. Last time he didn't even listen to what I had to say, assumed things and told me off like I was some random bit.ch.

Another person I just can't seem to crack open. What the heck does he want with me? And Taeyang, after the kiss incident he suddenly became really busy so I haven't met him. I wonder if he is avoiding me on purpose or what? This leaves me with Seung Hyun.

Sometimes I feel like I am pushed at Taeyang, sometimes I feel like I am pushed at Jiyong but why do I always end up with Seung Hyun even though he is the one pushing me away?

I got bored of sitting around and watching the guys have fun, so bored I wanted to slip away and go home. But since I was wearing Seung Hyun's clothes I couldn't, cunning jerk. It was Daesung who appeared in front of me with the most outrageous idea ever.

"Let's go to the beach watch the sun set." And not only us three but his friends came along too, and some girls. Great, and I am feeling moody.

Three cars full of people and instead of getting into Seung Hyun's Ferrari I wanted to ride with Daesung's friends, their cars w