It's been a long time since I dreamed about my appa and I was happy he decided to visit me on a moment like this. Seeing his face, even though in a simple dream, made me feel a lot better, at ease. I felt like the chains around my heart had been broken and I could breathe again. I swear I felt his touch when he ruffled my hair and I swear I heard him hum that melody I haven't heard for so many years already. He smiled at me so lovingly and hugged me so softly. My dear appa, I miss you so much.

"Appa, I miss you a lot. Can't you come back?" I asked him in the dream but he didn't answer anything. And maybe that was for the better, a negative answer would have been painful to hear.

"I want to hear a story" I grabbed his hand when he was turning around, about to leave "Tell me one before you go."

But he stayed quiet, he didn't say a word and it broke my heart. I wanted to hear his voice.

"Appa" So many tears streamed down my cheeks but all he did was just smile at me. Then slowly he raised his hand and wiped my cheeks dry.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I left like that.” He whispered.

"No, I'm sorry" I hugged him tightly "I'm sorry I didn't tell you enough how important you are."

"Dara, you need to slowly start forgetting about me. Don't miss me, it makes me sad."

"But you are my appa, how can I just forget about you?" I asked in disbelief "I have only one appa I don't want to forget about you!"

"Aish, you brat" his hand let go of my hair and his warmth left me. "You need to let go and start living on your own.”

"No, don't go." I grabbed his hand.

"I need to." he smiled sweetly and slowly detached my fingers from his hand.

"But I don't want you to go" I pouted.

"If you miss me you can look at the sky and I'll be there somewhere. I'm always with you. Even if I am gone forever I will always be there. Forever and always, together."

"How can you trust so much in Seung Hyun? He said he is going to crumble down one day" I yelled after appa when he sat on his cloud and started moving away. NOOO! How could he leave me. Seung Hyun you bastar.d you are taking everything away from me, including my sanity. What the heck do I do with always and forever? It's not even anything solid, just two words.

"No!" I opened my eyes in shock about to stretch out my hands and grab onto appa's cloud. I wanted to go with him no matter if the sky would crumble down or not. Instead of seeing clouds or appa, my eyes sunk into Seung Hyun's deep eyes.

He was leaning over me with a loving smile on his lips and his eyes were full of love and care. Exactly like appa's smile. Since when? I blinked a few times. He looked like an innocent angel for a change.

"You are awake" he spoked softly his hand still playing with my hair and his other hand resting on my hand that was placed on my abdomen. I realized my head was lying on his lap, the door was open and the rays of setting sun softened Seung Hyun's facial features making him look all gentle and delightful. I felt warm breeze kiss my skin and it sent shivers down my spine. For a moment I couldn't tear my eyes off him because I just couldn’t.

"What do you think you are doing?"

I felt how his fingers slowly slid away from between mine.

"You were seeing a bad dream" he sighed "I just-"

"Don't touch me!" I shrieked and quickly sat up.

Glancing out I noted the car was parked in front of a field, the green grass looked very inviting and warm fresh air kept pulling me out. The first thought that striked me was an urge to escape.

But while I was crawling over Seung Hyun’s hands wrapped around me and he pulled me in a hug, my back colliding against his chest. No matter how temptingly his scent and warmth tried to make me calm down I refused to calm down.

"L-let go" I stuttered panic striking me. I don't even know why but I mean, he was acting all creepy again, it was freaking me out. I needed some alone time, asap.

"LET GO!" I yelled.

"Please, calm down" He whispered burying his face into my back. "When will you calm down?"

"Aish" I grabbed his hand and bit him, immediately his embrace loosened and I jumped out from the car.

"Dara!" He shouted after me when I took off and ran into the field.

The smell of flowers was strong, the ground soft and I heard grasshoppers everywhere around me. I think a few butterflies hit my face while I ran but I didn't care. I was going crazy, I think I have finally lost it, I am just-

"Stop" Seung Hyun grabbed me but because I struggled back and we were still kind of running we both fell on our faces on the ground, I am not sure but I think I swallowed a bug... YUCK!

"Dara, let's talk. We need to talk" he groaned.

"I don't wanna" I continued with my stubborn attitude.

"Please."

We were both getting up and cleaning out faces from the soil. I tried to spat the bug away.

"Don't come here" I warned.

"Please" he pleaded throwing himself at me and hugging me tightly while we were still on our knees.

"Listen to me."

"Is it something confusing?" I asked desperately. "Please, no more confusing things."

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Everything. Just, I'm sorry" he whispered. "Really sorry."

Finally, his warmth got it's hold of me. I knew that this moment would come at some point, his stupid calming warmth. I like his warmth so much it hurts.

I wrapped my hands around his waist, buried my face into his chest and cried. I couldn't take it anymore. I was angry, frustrated, sad, scared and desperate at the same time, I just needed to cry. I sobbed like little kid and my body trembled while I let it all out. All those emotions that were tangled into a painful knot inside of me, I let them all out.

Seung Hyun sighed.

"It's okay" his warm hand caressed my back "Cry. As long as you need, just... cry."

He hugged me tightly "I'm sorry about everything. Nothing is your fault and you are not stupid at all. I am stupid and it's all my fault because I am so selfish. I'm sorry."

Hearing his voice just made everything so much worse and I cried even harder. While all kind of thoughts zoomed in my head all I could get was a very bad feeling about everything what was going on.

My heart hurt, I was scared what future would bring, I was afraid of losing something important, I was afraid of being left alone and abandoned, I was just afraid and worried. And he was saying sorry like he was sorry from the bottom of his heart, so sorry it hurt.

For what? I couldn't say if he was apologizing about what has already happened or about what will happen in the future. And I couldn't even tell if he cared about me at all or not. What if he doesn't care? Why is that such a painful thought?

"Make me forget about everything" I muttered between my sobs. "Please, I don't want to think about anything" I cried out.

I wished I could just faint, fall asleep and sleep for 100 years until everything gets solved. I can't believe Jiyong turning me down would bring me into this state.

Seung Hyun gently pushed me away from himself and looked me in the eye. He looked sad and sorry and he was biting his lower lip, not knowing what to do with me. I think he noticed my pleading look because his eyes darkened making him look even more sorry and sad. His hands cupped my cheeks and he wiped my tears away but there were still so many tears left, they kept falling, more and more.

"I hate these tears" he mumbled, still wiping away my tears with his thumbs. "Don't cry."

"You said I could cry as much as I want" I sobbed. "I can't stop anymore." A helpless smile crept on my lips.

"I take back my words, stop crying" he whispered "Stop it."

"Then make me forget about everything."

Taking me by surprise he leaned in and kissed me sending my heart into a totally different dimension of speed while my body froze like I was an ice statue. That kind of annoyed me because... seriously, is kissing his answer to everything?

"What are you doing?" I shrieked after showing him away.

"Making you forget" he said looking determined and leaned closer.

"Stay away from me" I covered with my arm and fell on my .

"Stay still." He grabbed my shoulders and started pulling me closer.

"No" There was no other way out so I head butted him and sent his head flying backwards.

"AH" Seung Hyun exclaimed in pain and grabbed his forehead "What was that for?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Why a kiss? I don't want to kiss your dirty lips!" I rubbed my lips with the sleeve of my shirt.

"I know you enjoyed it" he suddenly smirked.

"No you don't" I tried to crawl away but he scooped me in his arms. "No skinship" I grabbed his hand but he pulled me back and soon I fell against his chest my head landing just under his chin.

Without losing any time Seung Hyun wrapped his arms and legs around me and placed his chin on top of my head. I was totally captured.

"Stay still" he ordered.

I stared at his arms and legs in disbelief and waited for him to speak but he stayed quiet. We sat there for the longest time and in the I started feeling stupid. What would you think if you saw two people sitting in this kind of position in the middle of a random field? And because it rained today the soil was still a little moist and our clothes got dirty too. Just perfect. How romantic indeed... And I think a mosquito bit me because my arm was itching like crazy.

"Damn it, say something" I finally grunted trying to push his hands away but the more I struggled the tighter he hugged me.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked quietly, very calmly.

"Something..." I mumbled.

"Tell me what's wrong? I thought you got into a fight with Jiyong but I saw him just before I saw you and he seemed normal."

"It's none of your business what happens between us."

"And what if I say it is?"

"Why would it be.

"Just because."

"That's not an answer."

"If you are wondering why I am even asking it's because you looked like you wanted to cry and then you put that stupid fake smile on your face. You looked so heartbroken I wanted to cry too." he said slowly.

I don't know why his words made me blush "Anyway" I mumbled "Why did you cry when it rained?"

"I didn't cry" he said promptly "You just imagined." Why does he keep denying?

"But if you would have cried then why?" I tried again.

"I don't really cry... much. I'm a guy you know."

"Then I am not telling you what made me feel bad!"

He stayed silent, maybe he was pondering whether he should tell me about his crying. Well, I got my answer when I eavesdropped on him and Bom but what he said back then didn't make much sense.

"At least you are okay now" Seung Hyun sighed. "I'm sorry if I scared or freaked you out or anything. It wasn't my intention."

"Bom was saying something about toys..." I started.

"Next time don't just keep it all inside. When it hurts you have to scream and shout to let it all out, okay?" Seung Hyun leaned his forehead on my shoulder "Geez, making me look totally uncool and all" he chuckled.

"You cool? Ha" I scoffed. "You are not cool at all, especially not in that pink tee. Tsh!"

"Even when you think no one hears... that no one knows your pain..." he whispered.

"Someone just might know it all" he breathed out and hugged me tighter. "Sky is always there you know, always and forever."

Something about his words made me think. I looked up and felt strange knot in the pits of my stomach as I saw the light blue sky above our heads. A butterfly flow past me and somewhere in distance I actually saw a light rainbow, about to fade away. Somehow, the world started to fade away and my eyes got blurry.

There was something about the way Seung Hyun held me, with so much care it scared me. My heart was so restless today and I held my breathe wanting to make it stop from beating. Stupid heart, stop being so noisy.

"Love."

Seung Hyun's fingers pinched the heart pendant.

"Love" he whispered again finally getting my attention and making the hairs on my neck stand. He sounded like a narrator in a fairy tale.

"Stop running away from it when it's trying to catch you. Idiot, stop running away already. Because love is a happy ending, always and forever and ever. Don't run away from love, you have to follow it."

"What do you mean with that?"

Seung Hyun mumbled into my shoulder, his voice wavering a little.

"What?"

"He... is hurting a lot too. I can't stand him looking like that, it's so painful, it hurts so much. I wish you could understand him a little better. I wish you could just love him and never ask a question. Jiyong..."

"But who is he?" my question escaped in a form of a soft whisper. I didn't really know what I meant, I just asked.

"Silly, he is your fool."

"If you want us together that bad then why did you kiss me just now?"

"Always asking questions" Seung Hyun chuckled. "Phabo, you stopped crying right?"

I closed my idiotic mouth, he was right. I asked for that, didn't I?

"Besides, isn't it better to kiss me than some random guy?"

"Tsh, I don't see any random guys here."

"But if I didn't take you here you might have considered going to some club and hooking up with a random guy."

"Why do you know me so well?" I asked dully and felt his embrace loosening, he straightened his legs and unwrapped his arms from around me but I didn't feel like escaping anymore. I just kept leaning against him while he propped his upper body with his hands. S

eung Hyun sighed and leaned his cheek against my hair. It's funny how this position didn't feel awkward at all.

"I'm the sky after all" a carefree chuckle escaped Seung Hyun's lips "I know everything."

"No, really..."

"Should I kiss you again?"

"Who knows where those lips have been?" I said with sarcasm. "So, no thanks."

"Indeed" he took my wrist and brought my fingers to his soft lips.

"What are you planning now?" I asked with a sigh.

"These lips are tainted" he whispered "Very poisonous" he said playfully, like he was talking to a kid.

"I knew that already..."

"Good, if you don't want to die you better not kiss me then" he let go of my hand.

"It's you who walks around kissing me, three times already."

"So you have counted?" he asked playfully.

"I wonder" I looked up and forced Seung Hyun to lift his head off mine, my neck started to hurt already. "I wonder why do you kiss me when you want me and Jiyong end up together? You shouldn't be touching me at all and sitting like this here, we shouldn't be doing it."

"I let you go but you stayed there."

Is he blaming everything on me now? I watched Seung Hyun's chiseled jaw and slid a little lower to get a better view. He looked down at me and smiled, genuinely. His eyes twinkled playfully and I smiled back at him.

"What are you going to do about it then?" a little smirk lingered on my lips.

"Should I kiss you?" he leaned down a little.

"You won't dare" I giggled my eyes staring back into Seung Hyun's. His smile widened and he dipped his head even lower.

"You are daring me?" his dirty hands cupped my cheeks and he planted a quick peck on my lips. A little upside down kiss...

"Yah" I squirmed away from his hold and frowned. "Now I have soil on my face." I didn't even realize I ended up sitting on his lap.

"Yeah, you look like an football fan with my finger prints on your cheeks" Seung Hyun chuckled warmly and wiped my face with his sleeve "My baby sister is so troublesome, so dirty, so... cute."

"You just kissed me and now you are calling me your sister?" I raised a brow.

"Forget about the kiss like it never happened."

"One innocent kiss means nothing."

"You are a pretty good kisser though" a lopsided smile tugged my lips "My ex boyfriend at kissing and I almost married him. How stupid I was back then... Sometimes I think it's a good thing he actually two timed me and we broke up. If no I'd probably be unhappy now. Not just because he was a bad kisser but also because, he didn't really make me that happy..."

It sickened me to admit that all along he had been just a replacement.

"We would have had a house and kids by now..."

"Kids are cute, though" Seung Hyun smiled. "I want to have kids one day."

"You with kids?" I laughed.

"What? Now Daesung is my kid, I am raising him well."

"Yeah, to be another player" I teased.

"Jiyong too, he is like a kid."

"He is my kid too" I stopped laughing "Hey, he is more my kid than yours"

"He is my husband" Seung Hyun pouted "And so he is more mine than yours."

"Okay, so he is my kid and your husband. Deal?"

"No, I want him to be my husband and a kid too." Seung Hyun pouted.

"Greedy... By the way, would you mind telling me how you two even got married?"

"I don't know" Seung Hyun shrugged. "It was a morning surprise on our Las Vegas trip."

"Wait, you are telling me you really got married" I asked in disbelief. "You went to Las Vegas, that's cool."

"Yup, but it's not real so don't worry, you can still marry him."

"No but seriously."

"Seriously" Seung Hyun laughed. "Daesung married his jacket. We still have the documents."

"His jacket?" My jaw dropped. "You are kidding me."

"We got a bit too drunk. I am glad we didn't wake up next to each other in the morning or something like that." Seung Hyun said with disgust in his voice. "Daesung slept next to the toilet bowl, I got locked out on the balcony and Jiyong fell flat on his face in the hallway, he was hugging his shoes all night long. Las Vegas is definitely a crazy place."

"No way" I laughed from my heart. "That can't be true."

"I swear it's the truth" Seung Hyun smiled happily. "Hold on." He rubbed something off from under my eye making me stop laughing, he looked so concentrated.

"It's an eyelash" he held his finger in front of me. "You have to blow it away and wish."

I stared at the eyelash, then at him and then at the eyelash again. What to wish for? There are so many things I want but nothing seems important enough right now. I want, I want... I glanced at Seung Hyun and he was looking at me with that gentle smile on his lips. His lips...

"What's your wish?" he asked innocently. Didn't he know how delicious and tempting he looked when he had that innocent look in his eyes?

"A kiss." I smiled meekly.

"What?" he looked at me like I was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

"Erm" I lowered my gaze.

He quickly leaned in but for some reason I lowered my head feeling shy all of a sudden and my heart skipped a nervous beat. He pecked me on the cheek.

"That's all?" I looked at him, feeling disappointed.

"Yah, I'm not going to kiss you without a reason. It would be unfair for Jiyong." he leaned away. "Should we go now?"

"No" I said giving him a sneaky look.

"What?" he asked sounding amused.

I spread out my hands, wrapped them around his neck and leaned in for a kiss. My eyes closed before my lips made contact with his lips so I didn't see his reaction, he probably looked shocked.

I thought he'd push me away but he actually kissed me back and we slowly fell over on the ground, me landing on top of him. If you want to know what was going through my head at the moment, nothing. I didn't care if it was Seung Hyun or someone else. Just feeling someone's comfortable warmth was enough.

Seung Hyun is such a good kisser I wanted to melt into his arms. His lips were soft and addicting. The fact that my heart never skipped a beat made me feel so comfortable, letting me know that there will never be an awkward moment after the kiss is over. I just wanted more and deeper. My hands itched to rip his clothes off and my body heated up wanting to feel his skin against mine. Him? I don't know, he hugged me and kissed me back letting me do whatever I wanted with his hotness.

"Seung Hyun" I whispered my lips hovering over his, just because I wanted to say his name. Just because.

"What?" his hot breathe hit my lips when he chuckled, amused.

"I want all of you." I broke our kiss and planted a kiss just above his collar bone. From the way his body reacted I knew he liked that. More, I kissed his neck, bit onto his skin playfully and it all just more and more. His scent was so y, his every touch burned me and I wanted to bite really hard onto his beautiful neck. I felt like a vampire.

"Whoa" he suddenly pushed me away. "Wait."

I opened my eyes and to my horror realized my hands were under his tee, all over him, my leg was hugging his legs and his neck was covered in my drool. My eyes widened in shock.

"Why did you turn on your charms?" I cried out.

"Me?" he laughed. "Yah, you are the one who kissed me first "You bad, bad, bad fairy" he squinted his eyes at me and brought his face dangerously close. We were lying on our sides on the cold and wet ground and our clothes were so damn dirty. Seung Hyun smirked with amusement.

"I swear, you are losing your control. That's worrying" he teased, wiping soil off my face.

"Stupid y player" I hugged him and buried my face in this chest.

"Ooofff" Seung Hyun breathed out. "Not so tight" he whispered helplessly. I loosened my hold of him and he my back, his touch comforting me so much I wanted to melt into a puddle of nothing.

"How about, before anything else happens, I'll take you home" he whispered.

"Not yet" I needed to inhale his wonderful scent for a bit longer to regain my strength and prepare to face all my problems again.

"Silly" Seung Hyun planted a kiss on my forehead. His hand slid under me and he hugged me closer letting his head drop on the ground. His breathe tickled my face and I thought... It's pretty convenient to have your own player around when you need to escape the reality.

But why is it so comfortable to lie in his arms? Maybe this is how it feels to float on a cloud? I suddenly didn't want to let go because I felt like the fairy tale would just end there. Such a wonderful fairy tale.

His heart, it was beating so comfortably. For a second, a flashing moment, a very weak moment I wanted it to beat for me. How stupid indeed. But that was just a silly little thought without any meaning to it whatsoever. A romantic in me catching the moment.
 

On the way back I started feeling bad. I wanted to fall asleep but because my clothes were moist I was cold no matter how high Seung Hyun turned the heat. My head kept bobbing from side to side while I hung somewhere between reality and dream land. My eyes felt heavy but I couldn't fall asleep.

Somehow Seung Hyun's presence kept me awake, he covered me with his jacket but it didn't help. Wondering if I was getting sick I felt weak and powerless, like all strength had left me. Maybe because I was cold and hadn't eaten anything after the breakfast which was so damn long ago.

When Seung Hyun stopped his car in front of my apartment complex building I just couldn't move, I felt so weak I couldn't even move a finger. With a sweet smile on his lips Seung Hyun offered to carry me home and that's what he did.

I ignored his stupid flirting and just leaned my head against his chest, feeling blissful for some reason. Suddenly it wasn't cold anymore. It was a bit of a hassle to open the door but luckily one of the neighbors happened to pass by and he helped us. I hope he didn't think anything weird but I know he did. Damn...

"I'm dead." I slumped down when Seung Hyun sat me on the sofa.

"Change your clothes." He quickly helped me sit up.

"I'll just sleep" I closed my eyes.

"Yah, you will get sick" he scolded.

"I don't care" I almost fell asleep when Seung Hyun suddenly jerked me up and sat next to me. Once again I was in his strong arms and I snuggled against him.

"Just like Teddy" I mumbled.

"I'll help you change your clothes" he said calmly and started taking off my tee.

"Wait a second" I protested verbally only.

"Just let me do it" he frowned.

"Yah, no. I don't want to" I threw myself on my back.

"We are both adults here, besides. You are wearing your underwear and I am not going to touch it" Seung Hyun reasoned "You need to change so you won't get sick."

"I really don't care" I sighed with my eyes closed, a playful smile creeping on my lips.

"Come on" He helped me sit up again. "Why are you suddenly like this?"

"I have no energy left, you it all."

He chuckled. "Here we go" He tried to pull my shirt off gently but it got stuck on my head.

"You at this" I complained when he finally threw the shirt away. "I thought you had years of experience."

"If you weren't such an octopus" he pouted cutely his eyes narrowing down.

"No looking" I barely could cross my arms over my chest.

"I've seen it so many times this doesn't make any difference" he chuckled. "I could tell how your s looked even before I saw them" he boasted.

"So do you like what you think about?" I raised a brow "This is the closest you will get, bleh" I stuck my tongue at him "What are you smirking at, put the pajama shirt on me." I felt like my hands were slowly unwrapping off my chest and I was about to fall on my back again. Seung Hyun's warm hands s around my waist making me shiver and pulling me closer he kissed my shoulder.

"You are not planning to take advantage of me right now, are you?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation" he whispered his lips gliding over my skin and up my neck.

"He he" I giggled "That tickles." I felt Seung Hyun's body stiffen and he pulled away.

"Eish" Seung Hyun sighed pulling away from me and threw the pajama shirt over my shoulders.

"Here we go" he started buttoning it up and I noticed his finger slightly trembled. He looked like he was holding back really hard. I could imagine what kind of internal battle he was going through, heck I could even see the angel and devil on his shoulders and I wanted to snicker evilly but held that in.

"I can't believe I undressed a woman just to dress her up again" he complained.

"Now the pants" he started pulling my pants off and he actually looked away. I pat his shoulder letting him know I was thankful for that.

"I usually sleep in my undies so it's okay" I smirked when he held up my pajama pants. Just wanting to a bit more.

"What? Yah, you have to wear these."

"No" I lied on the sofa and slightly kicked him "Go away."

"I think it's better if you sleep on the tatami."

"I don't care where I sleep." I yawned and closed my eyes. "Just bring me the comforter and let me sleep already."

I heard him sigh and soon he scooped me in his arms, his arms slipping under my thighs and my back. My eyes stayed closed as my head leaned on his chest when he lifted me up and I heard his rigid heartbeats.

His heart always beats so fast...

Seung Hyun carried me to the tatami, lied me down and tucked under the sheets. Damn he was right, it was more comfortable to sleep there. The bed sheets were clean and smelled nice.

"Ahhh, feels good" I smiled.

"Go to sleep" he sat next to me with his legs crossed. "I'll wait until you fall asleep and then I'll leave."

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him. He looked back at me, rather serious. Again, we didn't say anything, just stared at each other and I got the feeling he was my bodyguard or something. I wondered if he always did this to Bom and how did she feel like?

Seung Hyun's blond hair looked so shiny in the darkness of the room and his eyes sparkled with mischief. A playful, crooked smile spread on his perfect lips when our eyes locked. He didn't make a slightest effort to look away and even if I wanted to shift my gaze away I couldn't, he captured my soul with that mesmerizing look.

I knew he was just playing his games with me, wanting to see how far I'd go if he kept offering himself on a plate. Just like any other player, I have encountered a few during my life. Maybe that's why sometimes I can read him like an open book. Damn, I am a player myself, if I want to I can be a total bomb but it's just that I don't enjoy doing something I hate. Logical, right?

My eyes closed half way and I returned his smile, he tilted his head to the side and flicked a few strands of hair off my face, coolly. Teasing me like this... I might just give in. My eyes closed and my smile widened.

"Hey" I whispered. "Who the hell are you, why are you here and what do you want?"

"Let's see" Seung Hyun smiled playfully "I am no one, I'm not here and I want nothing."

"You clearly are here" I said idly.

"It's just a dream" Seung Hyun yawned "Fall asleep already, I want to go home" Only now I noticed how sleepy his eyes actually looked.

"Dream? Hmmm" I chuckled "Do you know what happens next in my dream?"

"I'm not sure if I want to know" Seung Hyun laughed.

I grabbed his sleeve and pulled a little.

"Hmmm..."

"Come here" I whispered.

"Why?" something playful lit in his eyes.

"I can't fall asleep when you stare like that."

"Then should I just leave?"

"No, don't go."

"You know, this is getting a bit too... intimate maybe?"

"Tsh, who is feeling what?" I laughed weakly. "No one, nothing special. Isn't this just a dream?" I was just yearning for someone's comfortable warmth, yearning so much.

"If you say so." He stood up and walked to the wardrobe. I heard him shuffle around a little, searching for something dry to wear and soon he stopped in front of my bed with his hands on his waist. He looked at me for a long moment. Feeling his gaze on myself I slightly opened my eyes. Funny, in Jiyong's clothes he looked so much like Jiyong. It was so dark I couldn't see his face.

I felt like Jiyong was standing there, that Jiyong. My heart leaped and I didn't dare to think further.

"This once then" Seung Hyun sighed as he stepped over me and lied behind me, I was lying on my side and he hugged me from behind. It's so strange how my body totally relaxed the moment I felt his chest press against my back.

What a lovely sensation it sent across my body when he pressed his cheek against my hair. Probably because I wasn't wearing any pants he never slipped under the covers. I didn't know Seung Hyun had this sweet side to him too. I mean, I expected him to be all over me by now but he was even holding back his useless flirting.

"Is this better?" he whispered sounding bittersweet.

"Hmmm" I murmured feeling too relaxed and tired to open my mouth.

"Good night.. baby..."


I never realized he didn't add 'sister' to that.
 

At some point of the night I woke up with a startle and realized I was sleeping all over Seung Hyun. I had slid my leg over his waist and my hand was hugging him tightly while my head rested on his shoulder. His hand was acting like a pillow under my neck and the other hand was grabbing my bare thigh. Why the heck did I decide to sleep without my pants today? I kind of expected him to leave after I fall asleep but he must have been really tired to fall asleep too.

When I felt his hand move up towards my I quickly kicked him away and he slid on the floor. I threw the comforter over myself and turned my back at him. ert. And the sudden wave of chills hit me, damn how y... Great, now I am blushing too.

It's not that I feel anything special, though. Now, don't get me wrong. I actually have no idea why I am suddenly acting so casual around him but, he saw me in my underwear when he helped me change my clothes, what's there to be shy about anymore? Besides, he must see women all the time so why should I even care if I'm wearing anything around him or not?

I'm kind of... Kind of getting used to him, too used to him. It's like I don't see him as a man anymore, he is just... a player.

"It's cold" Seung Hyun mumbled as he crawled closer and his hand slipped under the comforter.

"Go away" I turned around and placed my foot against his stomach in attempt to push him away. "Go sleep on the sofa."

"Hubby, how can you be so mean?" he asked, probably more asleep than awake. He was mistaking me for Jiyong again. I need to ask if they often sleep together or what?

"Gimme some looove" a goofy smile spread on his lips as he stretched out his hands to grab me. "Baby, Imma lonely tonight, yo."

My lips squirmed when I tried my best to hold the laughter in. Closing my eyes I covered myself with the comforter and then let out a silent laughter, my whole body shook.

Slowly Seung Hyun scooped me into a hug slipping his arm under my neck and I let him do it because it was so comfortable to sleep in his arms. Haha, my own adorable cloud.

Taking in a deep breathe I let his wonderful scent cast it's spells on me, just today, just once I'll let myself get lost into his warm and comforting presence. And suddenly it felt like this wasn't the first time at all, like he has always been there. This familiar feeling of safety, where does it come from?

I wrapped my hands around Seung Hyun and hugged him burying my face in his chest. If I could fall asleep next to him like this every day it would be so nice. Like going to heaven.

"Good night" I whispered, listening to his steady breathing in response.

I'm not looking for us

and neither should you.

Absolutely gorgeous,

then nothing I say is true.

You won't find yourself

in these guilty eyes

nothing I say is true. 

James Blunt


The feeling of having someone's warm arms wrapped around you, that someone snuggling against you and pulling you in a tighter hug, a deep sigh, the sound of the heartbeat, soft breathe hitting your skin, comfortable warmth and pleasant scent. Solace of a loving presence, how much have I missed that, I couldn't even describe in words.

But loving presence wasn't loving at all, it was just my hopeful imagination. The difference between loving presence and just presence is so harsh.

Desperate, I somehow felt so desperate. Why is he making the boundary so transparent? Why is he making me feel so loved? A player surely knows what women like, oh how hard it is not to get tangled in his web of lies. There is no love.

I wonder how Seung Hyun felt sleeping next to me. Just out of curiosity. Was it similar to any other woman? When he fell asleep did he forget who he was sleeping with or did he remember even in his dreams? How does he do it? How come it's so easy for him, to fall asleep with a random person and sleep without feeling anything. There is only one answer.


What the hell are you trying to forget, Seung Hyun?


I am usually a heavy sleeper but after waking up in the middle of the night I somehow couldn't drift back to my senseless slumber and stayed between dreams and reality for a long while, not sure if at some point Seung Hyun pulled away from me. I think he swept my bangs off my face because his fingers brushed my skin like a cold breeze.

I stirred a little when something tickled down my arm, his finger trailing my skin, making the hairs on my neck stand up and I mumbled something about it tickling too much, asking him to stop. He didn't, because soon his finger slid back up my arm tickling me even more. A frown spread on my face and I slapped his hand away, he chuckled softly and annoyed by his teasing I turned my back at him.

I wanted to fall asleep because opening my eyes seemed like a mission impossible. And just when I was about to snap away from reality Seung Hyun's presence intruded my mind again when he placed his hand on my waist and slightly pulled me towards himself making me fall on my back. His arm was already under my neck and his upper body hovered somewhere above me.

"Wake up" his distant voice spoke. But it was too distant, like we w