It's a lie that sets you free.

"Are you in love with me?"

"I'm not"

"Are you lying?"



What do you think?


I stirred in my sleep and started slowly waking up. The clean blankets felt good against my bare skin and I felt something warm move beside me. I frowned a little because my pillow was kind of hard. Still, not caring about anything but that relaxing feeling I cuddled against that soft but very solid thing beside me.

Something chilly slid up my side making me feel all giddy inside, I felt it brush against my neck and cup my cheek. I smiled in my sleep my hands pressing against something warm and I felt steady drumming against my palm. I inched closer and my lips brushed against something incredibly soft, like a cloud. I was kissing a cloud. I chuckled, letting my hands caress that warm and soft thing.

"Nhmmm" someone mumbled beside me and I felt wet kisses on my cheek, slowly trailing my neck and my shoulder. Rolling on my back I let a happy smile linger on my lips, that felt so incredibly good. As if I was flying in the wide sky and clouds were kissing me all over ever so gently.

Then something sharp gently hit my skin as it grabbed the strap of my bra and pulled it lower, those gentle lips grazing across my skin. Something slid over my legs pressing me harder against the soft mattress and I breathed in that wonderful scent.

Wait a second. This doesn't smell like my house. And who is...

My eyes flew open and I narrowed them down seeing... Seung Hyun with the strap of my bra in his mouth and his hand resting on my left . His eyes were closed and it was his leg that had slid over me. What? My jaw dropped. Are we ?

And then I screamed.

"HUH?! What, what?" Seung Hyun slightly opened one eye. "Babe why are...you...screa-" his eyes opened as wide as mine were.

"Oh my God" he mumbled when he realized it was me sitting there.

I quickly pulled the comforter over myself and glanced if I was still wearing my pants, luckily I was and my bra was still on. Then I glanced at Seung Hyun who was only wearing his boxers.

He stared at me and scratched his head, I stared back at him as yesterday's events slowly replayed in my mind. And I still couldn't understand what happened that made me do such crazy things. But...

"You weren't even drunk" I hissed at him. "If you were drunk I would understand but you weren't" My accusing eyes blamed him and he lowered his gaze in shame.

"I'm just a man too" he said in a weak voice.

"But I was drunk" I said slowly. "I was drunk and you weren't."

Seung Hyun didn't say anything, he just kept his head lowered.

"So why did you do it?"

"Eish, nothing happened" he tried to sound positive but his face stiffened when he saw how gloomy I was.

"You kissed me, you took off my top, you slipped your hand in my pants, you cried, you hugged me, you told me this was about love, you" I spoke in low voice.

"Are you in love with me?"

His face turned pale. "I'm not."

"Are you lying?"

Seung Hyun covered himself with the blanket. "I just got lost in the moment" he muttered. "Damn..."

Biting my lower lip I shifted my gaze off him. I could remember clearly all his words, his touch and kisses and I shivered. Either he is madly in love with me or... or then... I don't even know.

But him being in love with me would be too normal, it has to be something creepy and weird. Why did he do it? Why did he let me go so far? Is he really a nonchalant player? Was he really only thinking about his own needs? I didn't know he was like that. I mean, I was drunk and he wasn't!

I'm so stupid. What the heck did I do now? Didn't I just decide to accept Jiyong in my heart? Why did I kiss this guy? I mean, sure, one night stands are okay sometimes. But why now? Why now when I decided to love someone else?

How can I ever face Jiyong and he even gave me this pretty necklace. Fck, what did you do now Dara? I just couldn't resist, he pulled me in, he put a spell on me. Damn, shame on me. I should have just... left.

"Heuk" Tears streamed down my cheeks. I know that crying now is just stupid but I don't know what else to do. What should I think about this whole situation? And I even told him I love him.

Even if I wasn't really serious I still said it, I said something that I couldn't ever tell Jiyong. Why him? Why this stupid player? I looked at Seung Hyun from under my bangs and sobbed. He stared back at me, looking so very helpless.

"I hate you" I mumbled.

"Be reasonable" he his lips. "We are two adults, a man and a woman, in a hotel room, on a bed. Why something like this couldn't happen? It was just a stupid mistake."

"But you weren't drunk" I muttered "And you still kissed me. Why?"

"You asked me to" he simply said. That's too simple!

Biting my lower lip I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. "Get out!" I yelled. "I don't want to see you ever again!"

"Dara" he said my name so gently it sent shivers down my spine. Great, now whenever he says my name I will be reminded of the last night. "I don't see what's the problem?"
 

"The freaking problem is that I am supposed to be in love with Jiyong. I was supposed to call him yesterday and he is supposed to be here so why are you here?

In the end, why is it always you?!"
 

"I thought you liked Taeyang more" Seung Hyun frowned.

                                                        
"Shut up!" I wiped my eyes but tears wouldn't stop falling.

"I don't know about anything anymore. Can't you tell I am confused? Just because everyone keeps saying all kind of things. I asked Jiyong to go out with me, like date, you know. But he said he doesn't want to and yesterday he said he wants to after all. What the hel.l?!"

I swallowed, feeling the bitter taste spread in my throat, it hurt. "

What the he.ll? He chases after me and then he says he doesn't want me?" I asked feeling how sadness and pain all swarmed over me.

“I knew it all along, why must he always hurt me? I should have never asked him out..” I whispered as I cried harder.

"This , I hate my life" I sobbed loudly.

"What was wrong with me? Why does it have to be you?"

"Why must you be so upset about waking up next to me?" Seung Hyun pouted.
 

"Because I want my fool" I cried like a little kid, I cried all my frustration away.

"I want my fool here, now!"
 

"Yah" he chuckled crawling a bit closer.

"Stay away!" I warned. "Keep those erted hands to yourself."

"I wonder who was it who touched me all over and asked me to stay?" he teased.

"Why don't you rub it in my face a bit more" I growled in answer.

"Stop crying." Seung Hyun wiped my tears away and pinched my cheek. "Crybaby." His smile was so gentle again.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"I wake up next to a woman almost every day, and usually all the way" he uttered a laughter.

"Why? Why did you kiss me? Tell me now."

I wanted to grab the front of his shirt and shake him but realized he didn't have a shirt on. My fingers squeezed into tight fists. Damn it, I actually enjoyed every single second of our little moment yesterday. He sure is good with women...

"Why are you blaming only me?" Seung Hyun let out a sigh and his hand wrapped around me pulling me closer to him and my head bumped into his chest. He smelled so good, heavenly.

"What are you doing?" I asked weakly.

"Don't cry" He my arm. "Everyone makes mistakes, every single person in this world."

"Mistakes?" I scoffed. "What if I told you I enjoyed it? Eh?" I asked sarcastically. "Every bloody second."

He didn't say anything and then I realized something because my hand was resting over his heart. I moved a little and pressed my ear to his chest. His heart, it was...

"What are you doing?" he flinched. I looked up and my jaw dropped, he was blushing. Priceless, Seung Hyun blushing.

"Why are you blushing?"

"Because you are being damn cute" he said weakly, avoiding eye contact. Meek, so very meek.

"Are you sure you are not in love with me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just having a weak moment" he mumbled cupping my cheek with his hand and stared deep in my eyes.

"Very weak..." a whisper escaped his lips and I blushed too. Does he have to be so alluring? His powerful gaze pulled me in and I even held my breathe.

"Let's just forget about this, okay? Besides, nothing really happened yesterday, we just kissed and touched each other a little. So what? It's not like we really care about each other that way? Yeah?" his voice was soothing and I knew he was trying to cheer me up. But why did his words just hurt me more?

I pouted, my eyes filling with tears again. I think I am PMSing and that's why I am overly emotional (please be it).

"Awww, come here little one" Seung Hyun wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down.

We both fell on the soft mattress and he threw the comforter over us, all the way.

"What are you doing now?" I sobbed quietly.

"Everything will be all right" he hugged me closer as he planted a kiss on my forehead. I closed

my eyes feeling a little better. Again, I was getting lost in the moment. His warmth and closeness, I found myself getting more and more attached to him with every second and it scared me.

His warm fingers brushed my and my tears started drying up. Listening to his steady breathe and restless heartbeats relaxed me so much my eyelids grew heavy and my eyes closed half way.

Slowly looking up I realized his eyes were closed while he my hair, that mysterious smile appearing on his full lips. Hmm... suddenly his lips looked kind of familiar. Moving my arm a little, I let my fingers touch his lips and slide over them, he squirmed and his eyes flew open.

 Without a word he looked me straight in the eye, with only one mesmerizing look making my heart leap like it had never leaped before and my body grew rigid from the chemistry exploding between us. My lips parted but before I could say anything his hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me closer. When I saw him tilt his head I knew he was going for a kiss, his fingers burned me and then...

"Wait a second" I suddenly snapped from my thoughts "We are still half ."

"Yeah?" Seung Hyun asked casually. "What does it matter anymore?" He whispered seductively as his eyes started closing and he inched closer. "Don't think about anything baby."

"Stop" I pushed his face away. One mistake is enough. "Stop this now! I'm leaving" I sat up and turned my back at him. I can't believe he thought being half is normal. I can't believe he just... he doesn't really care about anything, at all.

"No" his hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled me back down.

"Yah, let me go now!" I growled.

"But it's so comfortable like this" I felt his chest press against my back and I shivered from the marvelous sensation the touch of his skin against mine was giving me.

"You know, we could go all the way..." He planted soft kisses on my neck and slowly inched closer his lips soon finding my cheek. "What do you think?"

"I will castrate you if you don't let me go now" I growled.

"Just joking" His hands suddenly unwrapped from around me. "At least you are not sad anymore" he smirked when I turned to glare at him. Yeah, but now I am boiling MAD!

"Don't think about it" Seung Hyun closed his yes and stretched as he lied on his back. "You are pretty and y and the moment was full of chemistry. How could I not kiss you? And then you kissed me back and your soft hands caressed my skin and..." A wide smile spread on his lips. "It felt so good, is good. Why should I mfff-"

Seung Hyun's eyes flew open and widened in surprise when I leaned over and kissed him.

"It's because I love you" I whispered gently my lips hovering over his.

"What?" he shrieked.

I looked him deep in his eyes as gently as I could. "I think I have fallen for you" and I kissed him again, this time deeper, hungrier. My hand slid down his chest my fingers trailing his abs. His body grew rigid and I felt him shiver.

"Dara..." he whispered in weak voice.

"How does this make you feel?" I growled pulling my hand away from his stomach and grabbed his chin.

"You useless player, you, you" I glared at him my fingers sinking into his soft cheeks "Do you feel confused, do you? You jerk! Are you shocked and surprised?" I breathed out in despair

"That's exactly how I feel,” I whispered, feeling  tears running down my cheek.

"Chill out" Seung Hyun blew air on my face as amusement slowly replaced utter shock and confusion on his face.

“I- I..” I tried to say something but no words left my mouth as I looked into his eyes. What is this feeling in me?

He tried to push me down but I slipped away from under him and pushed him down instead. And so we rolled around the bed and wrestled until somehow falling on the floor with loud thud, pulling the comforter with us. Good thing he fell at the bottom and then the comforter landed on us.

"Let's just stop this" Seung Hyun panted. "I am hungry."

"Okay" I muttered my face still buried in his bare chest. Enough is enough. His hand brushed my back, his fingers running over the strap of my bra and I shivered, small hairs on my neck standing up. Us breathing hard only added to the moment.

"Do you want to take the shower first, or do I go take one first?" he asked lazily. None of us moved.

"How about we take it together?" I asked sarcastically.

"Sounds hot" he teased his hands sliding down my and the tips of his fingers diving in my pants.

"Okay" I quickly lifted myself off him. "I go first" I said dryly and grabbed my wife beater from the floor before locking myself in the bathroom. I can't believe I forgot we were half . All this while he saw me only in my bra and my pants. How embarrassing.


Leaning against the cold door I finally let out a deep sigh. What the he.ll was wrong with me now? I told him I love him twice without any meaning to it. How could he make me joke about love like this? Were his player qualities somehow transferring to me?

I placed my hand over my racing heart and frowned. I don't want to fall for a player and break my heart. I don't want to fall in love with Seung Hyun. How could I even think about something like that?

I'm so stupid thinking he might care. I mean, if women gladly threw themselves at him there must be something good about him. His sweet words an that gentle look in his eyes, his touch and his kisses. He is good with that all. So damn good. How could I resist him? And it's no use blaming him for everything because I am at fault too. I could have pushed him away but I didn't want to, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him so much it burned.

My fingers slowly slid over my lips and I still just want to... I felt my cheeks turn hot and my heart beat faster. He is so... hot and y... How could I be two faced like this? I decided I like Jiyong and now I just want Seung Hyun all to myself? I knew it all along, first reveal the secrets and then love.

These things were expected. Nothing comes out good when people do things in utter confusion. That's it. I must be too confused about everything and that's why. A relieved smile spread on my lips and I relaxed a little. I'm just so damn confused and annoyed. I just wanted a break from the eternal 'Taeyang or Jiyong?' brain storming and Seung Hyun happened to be there. That must be it!

But why did Seung Hyun do it? Though in the end he stopped me, he didn't let me go any further than just kiss and touch him. What's going on in his head? What did he mean when he said love killed him? Could it be he is not capable of falling in love with anymore? He never said he loved me and the way he acted today, it's hard to believe he actually likes me. Wouldn't he admit by now?

But then again, if Jiyong is his best friend, like I assume, maybe Seung Hyun wants to hold back. and the way he looked at me yesterday, doesn't he look at other women like that too? At least, he looks at Bom. I bet there is nothing special. Nothing. Aish, stop aching stupid my foolish heart.

I realized I didn't want to think about this. Yesterday was a mistake, just something really stupid from my part. Seung Hyun would have been stupid if he didn't kiss me, would he even be a man? Besides, he is a player.



After a long and relaxing shower I finally decided it was time to just face the truth. Besides, nothing happened so I shouldn't feel awkward. Seung Hyun wasn't feeling awkward at all, he was amused. I bet everything what happened was fun to him... I scoffed as I walked out from the bathroom with towel hanging around my neck.

My eyes widened when I saw him stand in front of the window, with only towel wrapped around his waist. He had opened the binds and bright yellow sunshine was trying to swallow him as he stood there stretching, his hands raised up.

"Erm, the shower" I cleared my throat and he glanced over his shoulder his hands dropping to his sides. He smiled. Like that, he stood there smiling and he looked like he was source of that sunlight. My jaw dropped and I blushed, was he doing this on purpose? Looking so alluring and y...

"I asked someone to bring clean clothes do you wan-" Seung Hyun grabbed a paper bag from the bed.

"No thanks" I said quickly and walked out from the bedroom.

Thanks God we were in a suite and I could escape his tempting presence to the other room. He didn't say anything else and I soon heard him go to the bathroom. Sitting on the couch I stared blankly in front of myself. Those kisses meant nothing anyway, so why the heck am I thinking so hard about yesterday now? It meant nothing.

All along I was too immersed into Jiyong and Taeyang. All this while Seung Hyun was just there, on the background. He was an interesting person, just a harmless player who turned out to be not so harmless. With his stupid jokes, lame pick up lines and gay clothes he was just another idiot. At times he was also a scary and cool gangster with his mysterious mood swings. But now, how come he suddenly became so much more.

He really became the sky in my eyes.

But maybe there is a good reason for him being on the background? Maybe there is a reason why Jiyong constantly warns me about him? What if Seung Hyun is just trying to get over some girl, maybe Bom and that's why he was so emotional yesterday? He asked me to trust him but how can I trust him? I know nothing about him, absolutely nothing. So it would be impossible for me to fall for him now, I might be harboring a crush but that's only because he is so good looking. It's hard to tell what's going on in his head and he might be thinking about anything. Anything. Trusting in people is hard.

I might have a crush on Seung Hyun but so what? I also have a long life crush on Lee Jun Ki and Lee Dong Gun. How is that different? Sounds reasonable.

That's why it has been so hard to confess to Jiyong, because all along I have been somehow crushing on Seung Hyun. He has always been there and I felt comfortable in his presence. I really need to clear my head out, I need a break from these guys.

Aish, who knows?! I can't trust my heart anymore with anything or more mistakes will happen. From now on it's better to listen to my smart brain and it tells me to take a step back. Stupid duck turned me down anyway. Maybe I was feeling bitter and that's why I asked Seung Hyun to kiss me? But yesterday Jiyong told me he loves me and... AISH! I feel like cra.p! Why am I so hung up on him turning me down anyway?

It's plain crazy how my heart suddenly wants to give up on everyone else and trust into Seung Hyun, with everything I have. I didn't even realize it before, but I have always somehow strangely trusted in him. And I don't know where this bad feeling comes from but I can feel it, he is going to hurt me so much. Yet, I want to keep trusting. How Damn foolish?

I covered my face with my palms and sighed. I will never get married. If this keeps on I will be forever stuck between two guys who love me but hate each other and the one guy who doesn't care about me but makes my heart skip a beat like he is the love of my life. My life totally .


Hearing Seung Hyun come out from the bathroom I craned my neck to see him walk past the opened door. I don't know why I did it but I stood up and strolled lazily towards the bedroom.

I carefully peeked in the room but he was already wearing a black wife beater and was in the process of pulling his pants on. The towel was coverin