Doctor has injected some fluid into her to calm her down, her stain of tears could be clearly seen on her cheeks. She went berserk and threw things around her when Donghae and the others started to hold her. She threw a flower pot and almost cut herself with the shards. The commotion made doctor and nurses rushed to her room.

“We could just try again,____. Don’t do this to me...”

**

“Hey, you’re awake. You ok?” Donghae cupped her chin warily as soon as he heard she whipered. Doctor told him that she was in unstable emotion, which is normal after miscarriage happens. He told him that he should be patient and always be on her side. He has to act strong even though he is broke inside, for her. He has to act like nothing happened, even though he himself was having a hard time getting over it, but he has to....For his wife. That's why he stay mute about her 'suicide' earlier. He decided to take her home rather than staying at hospital. He knew she hates to be there.  “We will go back home after you take a bath, okay? Shh, it’s okay, don’t cry.” Tears were b in the corner of her eyes, but Donghae wiped it away. Every tears that she produced, killed him. Seeing her wife spent her day after the baby been taken away from her, killed him. If he could, he just wanted to feel what she feels, and if he could, the pain and sadness she felt, been thrown at him so she could feel nothing but happiness again. Oh how he wanted to do that..

“Hey ____.” Siwon and Eunhyuk approached her. She was just fixed her eyes on the ceiling and sometimes she closed them for a while.  “Are you hungry?” Siwon asked and offered a small piece of apple to her, but her expression remain blank. She looked it for a second but then she moved her eyes’ direction. Sensed that ____ won’t accept his brother’s offer, Eunhyuk pulled Siwon’s hand and ate the apple, accidentally bit his fingers.

Siwon groaned and did some of his gestures, Eunhyuk was shocked as he chocked while he was trying to apologize. It’d bring her laughter if it happened in different time...different place...and different situation.

The door opened after a knock then the nurse came in. “It’s time to bath, Mrs.”

“I will bathe her.” Donghae requested, didn’t really care for the nurse’s answer as he started to her cloth.

“Hey, do it in the bathroom!” Eunhyuk slapped his hand away from her. Donghae was panicked.

“Sorry. Baby, come here.” He put his hand under her neck while the other under her thigh, then he lift her up and carried her to the bathroom in bridal way.

Minutes later, he walked out of the room, wearing a gloomy face. His two members knew in just a minute Donghae would burst into tears if the nurse wasn’t there.

“She is still inside..” he pointed at the bathroom at the nurse. She immediately rushed there while Donghae sat on the couch.

“She is bleeding...there. I don’t brave enough to see it now..”

**

Once they arrived at their house, ____ entered their room and closed the door at Donghae’s face. He decided to leave her alone because he thought she needs some space. Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were there, Henry and Zhoumi went to SM to practice for their upcoming concert, while the others were on their schedule.  He then took a seat across Ryeowook and Kyuhyun at the dining table.

“Teach me how to cook, Ryeowook-ah..” Donghae pleaded. He couldn’t cook, and when she was pregnant, he tried to make some food but all of them failed. He still remember the first time he made egg fried rice for her and he burnt the egg, but she still ate and finished it as it’s the best food she ever had. Now he wanted her to eat the food that he cooked, not the burnt one but the delicious one. He usually just bought food for her or do delivery to make sure she has eaten enough.

“Cook what, hyung? Ramyun? How’s her by the way?” Ryeowook tilt his head to the left.

“Hyung i know you don’t do cooking but ramyun is the easiest food to cook. Geez, do you want me to bring up my ‘Han River Ramen’ again?” Kyuhyun teased. His ramen was well-known among the members as he put too much water at it and it turned out to be tasteless.

“I want to cook for her... She hasn’t ate anything since this morning and now it’s time for dinner.” Donghae checked his watch. He had no idea if she had appetite or not, but he just need her to at least consume something. She refused to eat;  she just drank water.. only a sip of it.

“But i’ve made porridge for her. And i have to go for radio recording now, i will teach you some time. Is it fine, hyung?” Ryeowook then stood up and left, leaving Kyuhyun with Donghae alone.

“Ne, ne.” He stood up and began to pour the porridge into a bowl. It was warm and smelled delicious. “She will like this.”

“So how’s her? Siwon hyung texted me that she was still bleeding, is she ok?” Kyuhyun began to question him. Donghae replied in a short sentence, telling that the doctor said it’s fine for her to bleed.  At first he thought that something bad was going to happen to her again when he saw the blood and some clots. But he remembered the doctor has told him before...

“She's fine...physically, i guess. But mentally? Definitely not. I’m going upstairs to feed her, make yourselves at home.” Donghae tapped the magnae’s shoulder as he walked past him. He climbed the stairs and knocked the door of their room. He entered and closed the door behind. Their room was dark, the curtain was closed, and the light was off. But he could found her lying on the bed, sheet was covering her all.

He put the sheet off her and revealing her face. She was closing her eyes, and he knew she wasn’t sleeping. Her heavy breath like suppressing tears proved him. He sat on the floor near the bed.

“Yeobo, let’s eat. I prepared some porridge for you.” He  scooped and brought it close to . But she didn’t open it, she just stared at him in the eyes, “No.” Her hoarse voice welcomed his ears after she rampaged earlier at the hospital.

“But you need to eat, you haven-“

“I don’t have baby inside me, so whom i’m feeding to? I am not hungry.” She sarcastically said. “I want to be alone.”

It took a moment for Donghae to back to his sense. “I will leave it here, if you hungry you can eat it.” Then he stood up and kissed her forehead before exit the room.

**

Kyuhyun was sleeping downstairs as he wanted to look after her too, she is his best-friend after all and her condition killed him. Henry and Zhoumi had back and were asleep while Leeteuk and Eunhyuk stayed at the upper floor’s room. They decided to sleep over to help Donghae, while the others waited for the next day for their turn.

No sound was heard in the house, everyone was sleeping soundly as the long day tired them. Except for one, ____.

She couldnt’s sleep at all, but she just pretend to close her eyes when Donghae entered their room to sleep.  He held her tight in his embrace until he fell asleep but somehow she managed to escape and go out of the room.

She was now at the baby’s room. Not a week ago, they were busy buying baby’s stuffs and they were organized in there. She grabbed a teddy bear from the baby box and clutched it tightly on herchest, then she sat on the corner. The room was dark as she didn't turn the light on, but the light from the window lighten it a bit. She stared at the baby box, at the carpet and toys, the bookshelf, the baby shoes that they bought. The plane and a barbie doll with a hair brush were on top of the desk. She smiled weakly as she remembered that day when they went out shopping.

They both were really happy that day. Everything seemed so perfect and well and they have bought baby stuffs but they lost him at the end.

She couldn't think straight, she just sat there blankly. Until...

"Yeobo?" The door swung open. Donghae poked his head out of the opening and took a quick look around. "Yeobo are you here?" Since the room was dark, he couldn't see clearly, he stepped in and noticed a figure sitting on the corner of the wall. He'd think that it was a ghost if his wife wasn't missing at the moment. "____?"

He approached her and squated to her head, "I was looking for you, i thought you were going to do something stupid again." he muttered then he took a sit next to her and pulled her to his lap. She automatically rested her head on her chest, leaning on his upper front, while her hands stayed on top of her stomach with the teddy bear. He circled his arms around her waist tightly as he kissed her face.
 They were silent for minutes...maybe almost an hour, they both don't care. They enjoyed each others' present, and even though they had experience lots of skinskip, they have hugged each others for countless time, but at that time, their hug wasn't just simple, as if it symbolize their love and their grateful for having each other. He tighten his hug as he remembered her 'action' at the hospital. It made him shudder.

"We've lost him already, and I don't want to lose you too, I don't want to see you cry nor feel pain and sad. Let me feel it for you, share it with me so you don't have to  bear it by yourself? Don't do anything stupid and leave me here alone. I'm here for you, ____-ah.. I'm here.." he assured.

She didn't reply immediately ; she just stared down at the teddy bear.

"It's a girl, not a boy." She insisted with sound of whispering. Since she left the hospital, she didn't talk as loud as normal people talk. If you don't open up your ears clearly and pay attention to what she said, then you won't be able to hear her.  She and Donghae always have a different mind about the baby. Donghae always thought that it was a boy, while she thought of the opposite. They sometimes argued about this subject but now the baby is gone, but she still didn't want to lose.

"Yes, Of course, It's a girl." He sighed in defeat, he knew in this condition he just needs to listen to her, and accompany her.

He heard her breathing became heavy as the tears streamed down her cheek again. Hearing his wife, the woman he loved cried, because of someone they had together, because of the grief and the sorrow she was feeling......Feeling his chest tighten, like the feeling he had been supress, flew out. Tears started to run down his face but he quickly wiped them away. He didn't want to show her that weak side of him. Using his thumb, he wiped the tears from her face and soon that hand went to the side of her face, carefully her cheek while the other hand rubbed her back.

"Yeobo-ah, i love you... No matter what. I'm happy just to have you by my side.. Don't leave me, okay?" he could feel her nodded between her cry as response.

The sun has risen but he was still up, rocking his body in slow-motion. Her cry turned to be sob and soon it turned to sniffles when he started to lull her. His body was stiff and tired, especially his legs...but if his position comfort to her, then he willingly to stay put. Even in her sleep he could imagine her having a bad dream when she wrapped her hands around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck, and letting a heavy-sad sigh escaped from her lips.

"It's okay...I'm here..." he mumbled as he tapped her back, putting her back into sleep.

yo hey! :D

is this chapter sad enough to make you cry or at least sad? kekeke

i'm just trying to put somethg new bcos donghae and her never really had a 'serious' problem before

i hope u like it even if it's not the chapter that u want

any suggestion or ideas u want to share for this ff? :)

i want to say thank you for reading & subscribing this. hello to all my subs ;)

i just finished downloading BIGBANG'S new MV : BAD BOY!!

the song is so gooooood!!! i've played it for more than 10 times already. 

can't wait for fantastic boy. boom shaka shaka!

i drove my dad's car earlier to go to my course and it was raining so heavily, i didn't see the brooklet and the right front wheel of my car entered in.

i was so shock and scared at that time and i was crying so hard>//< and the bumper fell off

aaaaaaaaaaa!! i was so careless :(

subscribe and comments are loved, especially the long one  ;);)

happy march!