Monday morning

Sooyoung was finishing her suitcase, which was actually a backpack with pajamas, , her medicine and a few other things. She followed Yuri's advice and will spend a few days in the dormitory with the girls, since yesterday she completed the two weeks of rest that her doctor and her mother established for her to leave home. She has clothes there and everything, but she wasn’t sure if she had clean pajamas and how many clean she had there. I haven’t been in the dorm for two months, I must have left a mess in my room. She thought. She really wanted to stay with Stella, but after trying all sunday to call her and be ignored in every attempt, she was no longer sure if she would be welcome in her home. Yesterday she arranged with Siwon to talk today and after that, where she finally intends to break up with her fiancé, will ask him to leave her in the dormitory.

She sat up in her bed and sighed in frustration. She really missed Stella. And that feeling that made her stand determined to finally break with Siwon. the terrorist. I need to stop it. Maybe Stella will talk to me again when she knows that I've finally fulfilled my promise. She sighed again and had her thoughts interrupted with a message on her cell phone. It was Stella's.

She took the phone and then read it.

“I saw your calls now, Soo. Sorry I didn’t answer, but I was busy yesterday.”

Sooyoung took a deep breath and thought for a minute if she should try to call again or not. Yuri said that I need to talk to her to clarify what is happening and not jump to conclusions. Maybe she was really busy and not avoiding me.

- “Hello Stella.” She greeted hesitantly.

- “Hey Soo.” Sooyoung realized that Stella was different, she was distant.

- “It's all right?” She asked worriedly.

- “Yes, I’m fine. I was cleaning something here.”

- “Hmm sorry to interrupt.” Sooyoung said sadly. She wanted to talk to Stella a lot, but she realized that once again the older girl was avoiding her. “I can call you later, but I really want to talk to you.” She insisted, and Stella couldn’t resist. She has been avoiding talking to her all week, but she was very frustrated with this situation. She misses Sooyoung too. A lot.

- “You're not interrupting anything. How are you?” Stella started their conversation this time.

- “I'm not well.” Sooyoung replied.

- “What happened, Soo?” Stella asked worriedly.

- “I miss you.” Sooyoung replied in a choked innocent voice. Stella smiled at what she heard from the girl, but at the same time felt sorry for her.

- “I miss you too, Soo.” Stella replied sweetly.

- “Why you didn’t come to see me?” Sooyoung kept asking in a weak voice.

- “Sorry, Soo, but I was busy this week.”

- “But you went into the dormitory to see the girls on Friday.” The idol was still speaking in a weak voice, but this time surprised Stella who didn’t know how to respond.

- “The girls called me ...”

- “I called you to come, too.” Sooyoung interrupted Stella who sighed and could not answer the girl.

- “Are you mad at me?” Sooyoung asked in a way that Stella remembered a child.

- “I'm not, Soo.” She replied smiling with the childlike manner of her future girlfriend.

- “Are you sad to me because I didn’t break up with Siwon? You gave up on me?” Sooyoung asked, and Stella could hear that the girl was crying.

- “It's not like that, Soo.” Stella tried to respond without giving much detail. She didn’t want to tell Sooyoung what had happened on Wednesday when Mrs. Choi kicked her out, not by phone, but Sooyoung was anxious, very sensitive and was bothered by Stella's simple answers.

- “I promised I'd break up with him, Stella. Sorry if I didn’t it last week, but everything went wrong and to make things worse I didn’t see you for days and unfortunately couldn’t leave the house to go to see you.” Sooyoung ran over the words and tears streamed down her face. “You didn’t answer my calls and I thought you had given up on me.”

- “Soo ...” Stella tried to speak, but again was interrupted by Sooyoung.

- “Sorry if I let you down. I know I'm a coward and you deserve someone better.” Sooyoung was utterly moved by her emotions. “But now I can leave home and I'll finally break up with Siwon.” She spoke firmly.

- “Soo, I already...” Stella tried to speak, but Sooyoung interrupted her again. She needed to finish saying everything she wanted before she got more thrilled.

- “I don’t know what happened this week for you to be sad with me, but I know that whatever it is I deserve it and you're right. But please, wait for me. I'll break up with him today and then I can have you by my side whenever I want.” Sooyoung spoke in a choked voice, but Stella could feel her sincerity and determination. “You will wait for me?”

- “I will, Soo.” Stella responded and now she’s the one with chocked voice.

- “You will be the first to know that I break up with him. I'll call you.”

- “Okay. I will wait for you, Soo.” Stella answered and hung up the phone not expecting Sooyoung to finish. She didn’t know how she would end that call, but she didn’t want to know. She wanted to end the phone conversation as quickly as possible. Avoiding the girl during the week was already difficult and not being able to tell the reason was even worse.

Of course she wanted Sooyoung to break up with Siwon. She wants it more than anyone else. But the discussion she had with Mrs. Choi on Wednesday shocked her in a way she didn’t expect. She had experienced homophobia before, but it was not only the prejudice that made her sad, but the fact that she had been so careless about the situation. She was blind by desire to stay with Sooyoung ignoring the fact that the girl is a straight idol of a Christian family who is engaged to another idol. She knows the way she wants to go with Sooyoung will not be easy, but she needs to take one step at a time so she can have the girl by her side. For now Stella was happy with Sooyoung's determination to break with Siwon and this gave her hope. Who knows, this will be the first step for her to finally be my girlfriend?

Just an “okay”?! She didn’t say goodbye. She didn’t even give me room to say goodbye. Sooyoung thought and wiped her tears. Did she not believe me?

- “But she said that she wouldn’t give up and you be wait for me, you stupid, so don’t disappoint her the second time.” She thought aloud then picked up her cell phone and saw that it would still take more than two hours for Siwon to arrive. She then left a message for him to come soon and smiled to see that he agreed and in 30 minutes he would be there to pick her up.

This time there is no way out. I need to do this. She was finishing dressing when her cell phone rang. But this time she felt goosebumps. It was not a good sign. When she saw the unknown number on her screen she knew who it was. For a moment she thought about not answering him. She did not want to hear what he had to say. She didn’t want to have to deal with him now or never again. She took a deep breath.

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