Sooyoung had asked to turn off the lights in her bedroom not because she was sleepy, but because she wanted to be in peace and use the privacy that the darkness gave her so she could cry alone. Waking up and realizing that she was alive made her sad, thinking about dying made her feel sad, the fight with Soojin and her parents made her sad, everything about the show today made her sad. She was happy that apparently the marriage request had worked out and nothing had happened was a sign that the terrorist was satisfied, but to think about it only made her sad.

I lost Jessica because of that.

Thinking about Jessica and the conversation they had earlier made her even sadder.

I said yes to Siwon, will she say yes to Donghae? Maybe she changes her mind after I passed out today? Maybe she felt sorry for me? For a moment Sooyoung replaced the tears with a shy smile in the hope that Jessica would be waiting for her. How I wanted that kiss, but she’s refused. She wants nothing with you, Sooyoung. Even for pity. You are a coward, neither Jessica or anyone wants you. And the smile quickly gave way to tears.

The day of the terrorist attack and the day the terrorist visited her were definitely the worst days of her life. But after everything that happened today, December 24 of 2011 promised to be the worst day ever. If in the other two days she had also good memories, today she had nothing. Nothing positive happened today. Right on Christmas, my favorite date.

She sighed and looked around her room. Empty. Only her there.

I should have accepted the nurse's invitation to attend the hospital staff's Christmas dinner. At least I would not be alone here. But after everything I've done today and in the last few weeks I think I deserve to be alone today.

- “You are really stupid.” She thought aloud.

 - “I disagree with you.” She knows that voice and had the confirmation as soon as Stella the lights.

Stella was happy. After everything Soojin had told her, she did not expect to be met with a smile from Sooyoung. But soon she saw that her face was in tears, but she decided not to comment about that. Apparently it was a good idea to come here.

- “This smile is for me or for this?” Stella lifted her purse full with food.

- “It’s for you.” Sooyoung replied in a choked voice as she wiped her tears. She had stopped crying, but seeing Stella there, saving her Christmas made her feel emotional again.

- “Hey, I hope they are t