Chapter 79
You Said Remember Me II
“Victoria?” Nana’s voice perched on her ears.
Snapping out of the sudden realization, Victoria turned to look at the young girl in front of her. The girl who would head on in into Eunhyuk’s future.
Pressing her lips together and swallowing Victoria gripped her empty hand to discover that the hair curler was no longer with her. She glanced around the floor for it but paused when Nana held it out to her.
“Are you ok? Should we do this later?” Nana wondered worried.
“No, no. I’m fine,” Victoria lied. “I’m sorry. I’ll finish this for you.”
Nana returned to her usual spot and Victoria entwined Nana’s locks around the bar of iron.
/ / / / /
Donghae glanced at Eunhyuk unable to utter a word and got up. He headed up the stairs and found Victoria doing a makeover for Nana. Silently, he watched her from the foot of the door.
What was she thinking about with that small frown on her face?
It bothered him, but he couldn’t say anything.
/ / / / /
Nana stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. The pink dress had fit her just as perfectly as Yuri had said it would. The makeup on her face didn’t quite make her feel like herself. Victoria had done a good job.
She sighed and took a deep breath before stepping out of the room. Honestly, Nana hadn’t wanted to go with Changmin. He was just dragging time to make her stay there longer, but then she also needed to talk to him. The game had already ended.
When Nana unlocked the door and stepped out she paused with her unexpected surprise. Eunhyuk was standing beside the door, back against the wall. He turned to look at her quietly.
Was he really not going to say anything?
Nana averted her eyes embarrassed with the makeup and began to walk by immediately stopping when Eunhyuk reached out for her arm.
“You don’t have to go, do you?” questioned Eunhyuk.
Her heart loudly thudded against her bones.
“Don’t go.”
Was he pleading with her? Nana really felt shocked. She turned to look at him and Eunhyuk very slowly turned to look back at her. His eyes look so deep and sullen. What had he been thinking about for such a long time to make him look so weary? Nana felt her heart go out to him, but she couldn’t stay. No matter what, she needed to talk to Changmin.
Very gently, she pried Eunhyuk’s hand off her arm. For a long time while she stood there, she wanted to say something but nothing came. In the end, she just left him there.
/ / / / /
Changmin turned when Nana came into the living room.
“Wow, aren’t you pretty?” Donghae commented with a smile.
“Thanks,” Nana managed to mutter.
“Shall we go, madam?” asked Changmin.
“Ah…but how are we going to get there?” Nana wondered.
“I called a cab,” Changmin reminded before taking her hand and leading her toward the door. “We’ll be back everyone!”
They ran outside with the door closing after them and entered the waiting taxi.
“Ah!” Changmin exhaled leaning back into the seat. “You look very pretty today.”
“Did you buy that?” Nana asked looking at his tux.
“Uh…no,” Changmin replied. “Something I had from a while ago. Are you excited?”
Nana slowly nodded. He could tell she wasn’t. She came because he’d asked, because Yuri had told her to just go. That was right, Yuri had urged Nana to just say yes. How was she at work now? Busy? Or just dazing off at her desk?
“Changmin,” Nana called, “should we go somewhere nice after the musical?”
“Hmm?” Changmin snapped out of his thoughts. “Why?”
“Remember I said I wanted to talk to you?”
“Oh…yea. Sure.”
Actually, he didn’t remember her saying something like that at all.
/ / / / /
Eunhyuk slid the back door open surprised to see Victoria sitting at his favorite spot. She turned to look at him as if she’d been expecting him.
“What are you doing?” Victoria questioned with a smile. “Come out.”
With no other choice, Eunhyuk slid the door close behind him and sat beside Victoria. He was quiet. What did he want to say? Was there anything to say at all?
/ / / / /
Victoria pressed her hands together before stealing a glance at him from the corner of her eye. It was a very quiet day. Even the wind didn’t seem to be out. The fluffy white clouds drifted from away from the sun suddenly allowing a thick yellow light to land upon them, but the large tree from above helped shade them away from it.
Why was Eunhyuk being so quiet? Even if he didn’t want to say anything, Victoria had a lot to say.
“She left, didn’t she?” Victoria asked.
Was she prying into Eunhyuk’s wound by asking?
“Yea…”
He didn’t continue. Was there really nothing else for him to say?
“Eunhyuk, you’ve changed.”
He didn’t bother to make a comment. Even if he was listening, he didn’t want to say anything. Why?
“I’m sorry, Eunhyuk,” Victoria apologized and finally got him to tilt his head up a little. “I was happy we could always talk like we always did even after everything. I was very happy, I’m always happy around you. I was thinking I rely on you much more than I should on Donghae. I must’ve given you a lot of burden. I’m sorry.”
Eunhyuk slightly turned away from her. Did he hurt? Had she hurt him?
“Eunhyuk, if I ask you a question, would you answer with honestly?”
He, of course, didn’t answer.
“Eunhyuk, do you remember when you asked me if I thought you reminded me of Donghae?”
He bit down on his teeth. It was so visible through his jaw line.
“You said you had a question after that. Do you remember what it was?” Victoria asked. “If you ask now, I’ll answer you.”
Eunhyuk spun around to look at her.
“What are you talking about?”
“So you’re going to feign ignorance?” Victoria asked.
Eunhyuk was countering her with a question that had nothing to do with it at all. He was going to change the subject if she didn’t take the offensive.
“Had you wanted to ask what you would’ve been to me if you came before Donghae?” Victoria questioned.
A visible frown appeared on his face. He didn’t want to face it. Was he panicking that she was asking? Was his heart beating just as fast as hers out of nervousness and anxiety?
They were quiet for a long time. She wanted to wait for him to answer. To say something. In the end, he did not even say a thing.
Victoria pressed on, “Did you really mean it, when you confessed to me back then? Should I really have been your girlfriend? Did you hurt even when I went after Donghae so blindly?”
“Victoria!” he scolded.
Victoria shook her head, “No. Is that why you’ve been so caught up with yourself? Why you’ve been so conflicted, why you couldn’t talk to anyone?”
Her heart really went out to him. What could she do, though, to make him open up again? Why had Eunhyuk gone through everything so silently and alone?
“You weren’t alone, Eunhyuk.” Victoria finally said. “I…I thought about it too.”
“Don’t talk anymore,” Eunhyuk clamped his eyes shut as if hoping it’d block out his hearing too. “I don’t want to hear it anymore.”
Victoria stared at him for a long time refusing to turn away. Even under her eyes, Eunhyuk couldn’t hide. She watched his eyes bounce off the ground while he tried to organize his train of thoughts.
“Do you know what the scariest conflict between friends is?” Eunhyuk asked. “It’s when two friends like the same person.”
She thought she knew what was coming next.
“Yes…” he continued. “I liked you, but my feelings couldn’t compete with Donghae’s. I’d rather cherish these feelings than share them with anyone else. Yes, I was quiet because Donghae regarded me as a rival after that incident. I was quiet because I couldn’t talk to anyone. Yes, I isolated myself because I didn’t want it to seem like I was trying to cut into your relationship. Yes, I was hiding…”
Victoria put an arm around him hugging him close to her.
“I’m sorry, Eunhyuk,” she apologized. “I put you through this. I’m so sorry.”
“No one said it’s anyone’s fault,” Eunhyuk pointed out. “It’s ok. It’s just because…I came a bit late. I wasn’t in the same line of work as Hae, so I couldn’t have met you. I’m sorry for making you worry, Victoria. Lets return things to the way they once were after this.”
Victoria nodded against his shoulder feeling almost resolved. And she hoped that Eunhyuk wouldn’t carry the burden anymore after all this.
/ / / / /
Donghae shut his eyes against the stairs. The turmoil burning within him was only heating up into something worse, but he couldn’t say anything. Not now. He couldn’t say anything and that made him feel helpless.
“What are you doing?” Yuri asked suddenly appearing in front of him.
Donghae opened his eyes to look at her. Yuri frowned somewhat at him before turning to head into the kitchen, but Donghae shook his head.
“What?” Yuri asked.
“Don’t go. Wait a few minutes before you go in.” Donghae said, his voice dry.
/ / / / /
A bright stage consisted of dancers in uniforms sewn just for the show blared in Nana’s eyes. The dancers pranced back and forth running across the stage singing their melodious songs, but none of it transmitted itself into Nana’s brain. She’d zoned out. Ever since she entered the brightly lit auditorium to the time when the lights dimmed out and the only lights that shone were the spotlights landing upon the stage, she’d zoned out.
Changmin, who sat beside her, seemed deeply immersed in the musical. All that contained Nana’s mind was when Eunhyuk had told her not to go. Had he finally chosen to express his feelings? At long last, had he?
Nana finally shot out of her thoughts during the standing ovation. Like a robot, she imitated the others and clapped her hands.
“Where should we go?” Changmin asked walking out with her.
“Huh?”
“I thought you said you wanted to talk. Where should we go?”
“Oh yea…” Nana recalled trying to snap out of her daze. “We could just go sit outside by the stairs or something.”
“Really? You’re quite simple,” Changmin remarked.
Nana tried to light up her face with a tiny smile while they followed the crowd out. Outside of the grand Victorian theatrical art building Nana sat atop the long stairs winding down toward thin trees along the sidewalk. Bright lights shone on their back from the glass doors and Nana observed the thick crowd disperse toward the parking lot on the other side of the sidewalk.
“It’s really warm out tonight.” Changmin commented.
Nana nodded in agreement wondering what Eunhyuk and the others were up to.
“So, what did you want to say?” Changmin asked.
Nana felt her eyes fall to the long edges of the pink dress. Yuri was a glamorous person. Anything she had would look good on her.
“Changmin, do you remember when you first asked me to do this favor for you?” Nana asked. “And when I said you’d have to take responsibility if my feelings became real?”
Changmin’s pursed lips fell apart, but he nodded without a word.
Nana turned away from the dim blue-green sky with the early moon in the sky. Her eyes landed on his thinly shaped face.
“I don’t think you can do it.”
His eyebrows flung themselves up. He hadn’t expected her to say that.
“You said you were going to push Yuri away, show her you can take care of yourself, but you haven’t really done that. All you’ve done,” Nana pointed out, “is make her worry and hurt her.”
Changmin couldn’t say anything. He had no words to refute her statements.
“Can’t you see it? How she worries about you and how she tries to give you the utmost comfort you deserve,” Nana went on, “how she first came running when you were in the hospital. She took care of your parents. Hasn’t she been taking care of your this whole time you two have been together? Changmin, if you look around a little, it’s not that hard at all.”
She could see the realization of it all hit his face. Yes, he was probably thinking of all those times spent with Yuri she didn’t know about. Nana was glad to see it, though.
“Thank you, Changmin, for doing everything for me,” Nana thanked. “I’m really happy, you made me feel really welcomed here. You were like…another brother I never had. I’m going to go first. I’ll see you back at…home.”
Nana got to her feet and climbed down the stairs one at a time. One at a time. She’d leave them all step by step. She would forget each and every one of them one at a time.
***Yes, Donghae saw Eunhyuk & Victoria hug. He saw Eunhyuk hug Victoria the first night and now he sees it again
***Nana finally trys to tell Changmin about Yuri's feelings. That is only if he can understand about them before it's too late.
spring semester ends this friday and i'm off for summer break :D i'll get back on track with YSRMII
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