Chapter 75
You Said Remember Me II
Yuri had kicked everyone out of the kitchen after breakfast and Victoria found herself sitting in the living room beside Donghae. The TV wasn’t blaring so they were just sitting in silence. Victoria was trying to organize the things she’d seen that morning in her mind and find as many answers as she could by herself before she would confirm them.
Her thoughts were quickly ruined when Donghae suddenly entwined his hand in hers. Turning to look at him with raised brows she found him lying his head against her shoulder.
“Must I always be the man in this relationship?” Victoria asked folding her fingers over his.
“My Eunhyuk has grown up, Victoria.”
Victoria let out a small snort. Donghae surely had his own way of speaking about others.
“He grew up way before you did.”
“What do you think will happen to Eunhyuk after Nana goes home?” Donghae wondered. “Do you think he’ll head back too?”
“Well…” Victoria droned on. “Why are you even asking me that?”
He snuggled his head into her neck, “Because I feel that Eunhyuk has deep strings attached somewhere and if I don’t do something, I’ll be watching him in misery. He really has a way of battling with the demon denial.”
Victoria blinked silently. “Strings attached?”
“Of course, didn’t I just say that?”
A smile crawled onto Victoria’s face, “You’re really worried about Eunhyuk and Nana?”
“Of course, I’m worried,” Donghae nodded his head. “We have to look out for them together.”
“Yea, sure we will,” Victoria rubbed his hair with her other hand.
/ / / / /
Yuri scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed the already clean pan. The soapy formula was all over her hand now. She didn’t know what to do. Yuri felt so bottled up.
“Aish!” she shook her head, her long hair falling out from her messy made up bun sliding past her shoulders.
A loud sigh of frustration belted out of her and all she could do was let her head hang forward as if in deep despair.
Changmin’s sudden happiness full of pretension over breakfast made her want to break something. Must he really do that in front of her? Must Nana be so hesitant in saying ‘Yes’?
Yuri knew where Nana was coming from, but to keep hearing Changmin speak in the middle of breakfast…in that voice…
And the musical. He wanted to take her to the musical…
She clamped her eyes shut before she would have to face the dreadful feelings coming up next. It was already there, residing in the pit of her heart. The dirty feelings she hated.
Jealousy.
Yuri hated it, she despised it. She wanted to chase it toward the end of the world and burn it up, toss it into an erupting volcano. She wanted to get rid of the feelings.
Why, why, why! Why were they there in the first place?! Why must she harbor such feelings?! And for him! That jerk who never even looked around him. The moron who didn’t look around twice.
Yuri heaved another sigh helpless to her emotions. She wanted to belt out a cry. To let the others know that it wasn’t just Nana who was suffering emotionally, but her as well. She wanted them to know that Changmin was quietly suffocating her.
Her hand clamped around the sponge and her eyes shot open when she heard footsteps from behind.
“Yuri?”
She tightened her grip without even meaning to.
“Hey, could you do me a favor?” Changmin questioned.
Yuri repeated to herself that all she needed to do was listen.
“Could you help me buy the tickets to the musical?” he continued. “You know when you come home from work…”
“Ok! I will!” Yuri suddenly yelled spinning around to face him.
Changmin stared back at her shocked, surprised.
“Wh…why are you angry?” he stuttered.
Yuri stared back at him screaming at him inside her head.
“Do you really like Nana? You like her?” Yuri shook her head while asking. “Can you stop professing it to the world already? I get you! I know how you feel, so enough with it! You don’t need to be bounding around telling each and everyone of us about your god damn feelings! Would you look around a little?!”
“Yah…” Changmin started.
Yuri was fuming and she couldn’t stop it. She gritted her teeth and felt anguish tears seep up. Nana had cried to her the other day, it made Yuri feel remorseful, guilty, perhaps a little greedy. But Changmin had taken all her feelings and she couldn’t do a damn thing. She couldn’t even help herself while trying to save Eunhyuk and Nana under her wings. What could she do!?
Letting out a groan she stomped pass Changmin and shut the door to the room at the back. She needed to be alone. She wanted to be alone. There was a sudden need to cool down before she’d embarrass herself in front of the others.
/ / / / /
Changmin pestering her that morning had made her nervous. She almost felt bad for him for some unknown reason. Perhaps, when they had their time alone…or on the day when she went to see the musical with him she’d talk to him then. Tell him to face his own feelings. Changmin needed to stop shying away from Yuri and face his true feelings head on. Because…would there even be a possibility that Yuri liked Changmin too?
No. She had feelings for Eunhyuk.
Nana felt her heart drop a beat and she stared out the window into the yard. Would it ever be the same looking out the window in her room? Would she always imagine herself inside Yuri’s bedroom?
A small sigh left her. She wondered if she’d made the others feel uncomfortable during breakfast. The argument between Changmin and Eunhyuk had been caused by her. If she hadn’t been such an idiot or seemed so insecure when she got here, they wouldn’t have bothered with her at all. They shouldn’t have argued that morning.
But…she couldn’t help but wonder if Eunhyuk felt anything when she announced her leave. Did he not feel anything at all? Was he perhaps a little sad to see that she was leaving? She recalled that he’d tried leaving before, but because of her foolish act he never left. Would he feel a little regretful seeing her leave before he did?
Nana honestly hoped he would regret her leaving.
But…would Eunhyuk not come talk to her at all?
Other than telling her sorry, would he not talk to her at all?
/ / / / /
Yuri could not help but give everyone the cold shoulder. She barely spoke the whole day and left Victoria to cook in silence. Yuri should have felt bad, but she didn’t want to give a damn at the moment.
She was in a truly sour mood.
While she lay in bed that night with arms clasped over her stomach, Yuri focused on the dark ceiling that represented the star-less sky. She had never known for it to feel so lonely. With a promise to organize herself and be a better person the following day she closed her eyes trying to call sleep to her.
She’d almost succeeded, but Nana shifted beside her waking her.
With eyes open again, she stared up at the ceiling. Nana’s tear soaked face and her confessions were more than visible in her memory.
Nana to her back and Yuri knew that the girl wasn’t asleep. The both of them were perhaps suffering from stress. The kind of stress that takes sleep away.
“Him,” Yuri started, “which one were you talking about? Eunhyuk…or Changmin?”
Nana was quiet. It seemed as if she didn’t want to answer. Through the silence, Yuri could hear her swallow her saliva once or twice.
“Eunhyuk.” her voice was solidly clear.
Yuri blinked a few times feeling relieved. She was surprised with herself.
“Are you leaving because of what happened between you two?” Yuri wondered.
Nana’s voice faltered a bit, “I…just miss home.”
Was it a lie? Yuri wished she could see the expression on Nana’s face because seeing her expression would tell her everything she wanted to know.
“Do you like him a lot?” Yuri pondered on calmly.
What was Nana feeling? What kind of feelings were surging through her heart?
“I’m sorry, Yuri.”
If Nana liked Eunhyuk that much, why wasn’t Yuri clarifying anything? Why wasn’t she telling Nana that her feelings for Eunhyuk weren’t as she’d thought?
The answer hit Yuri a second later. It was because none of them could confirm what Eunhyuk was feeling, so even if she said anything it wouldn’t give Nana any kind of hope. Hadn’t Nana already said that Eunhyuk didn’t have the same feelings? Then what was it? Did Nana assume that Eunhyuk liked her?
Yuri crumbled in confusion.
“Yuri,” Nana said, “thank you. I really mean it. I might have caused some trouble, but it was really nice staying here. When I return home, I won’t forget the things you’ve done for me.”
Yuri felt her head turn to look at Nana, but she could only slightly see her face thanks to the hue of the moon shining in through the window. She wondered if Nana was crying, if she was smiling, or if she was quietly praying.
There was one thing Yuri was sure about then. It was that she’d certainly protect Nana as long as she was there under her roof.
They’d have to work hard trying to bust the gang.
When were they planning to strike again?
When her alarm went off, Yuri got up without complaint. Well, it wasn’t as if she wasn’t used to waking up early anyway. Turning off the alarm she opened the door closing it after her and started down the stairs. With a slight yawn and a stretch of both arms she started into the kitchen having a fright when she saw something sitting outside.
Recollecting herself, she walked forward without turning the light on and as she got nearer recognized the back of the person sitting. Pausing by the fridge she stared at Eunhyuk’s tilted head wondering what was it that was running through his mind. Had he been bothered by Nana and Changmin as she had yesterday? Or was he feeling regretful?
If Yuri had to collect all the facts she’d realized about Eunhyuk during his stay she could simply summarize up about him. Eunhyuk was conservative, quiet, but his thoughts ran deep. He also realized a lot of things as the observer he was. And he was always weary about Nana, always. Yuri would have guessed that he didn’t like her and maybe he didn’t at the start, however she knew that wasn’t the story anymore. Not after he decided to stay and not after she found out why he decided to stay. If he didn’t like her, he wouldn’t have stayed, but the fact was that he stayed. He stayed ever so quietly and had been discreet about it.
There was also that incident where he’d gone after her and saved her from that drunk. Plus, he’d even tried minimizing trouble by coming up with lies for Nana. And when they’d been abducted by the gang, hadn’t Donghae said that because Eunhyuk had covered Nana, Changmin had taken the shot instead?
Eunhyuk had always been protecting Nana. He couldn’t have done it in the stead of an older brother if he’d kissed her that night. Yuri was sure that Eunhyuk’s feelings surpassed the line of a friend. After all, they had spent a night together. If Eunhyuk wasn’t troubled by it like Nana was by his feelings about it, then Yuri would honestly take it as Eunhyuk really didn’t care. And if he really didn’t care, why would he be up alone at this hour staring at the pink sky?
That was it. She wouldn’t be able to watch any longer. Eunhyuk liked Nana and he’d have to face it. He’d really watch Nana leave if no one urged him to make a move. How much regret would he have to face in the upcoming days if Nana left just like that? He’d silently suffocate as she.
She strode forward and slid the door to the side. Eunhyuk turned around surprised by her sudden entrance.
“Watching the sunrise?” Yuri greeted.
Turning away, Eunhyuk half smiled. “I guess.”
“Then…you’ve been here all night?” Yuri plopped down beside him, just in front of the door.
“I slept for a while.” his voice was dry.
“Then that means you didn’t sleep for the rest of the time you’ve been here,” Yuri said. “Ah…I feel like that time is coming.”
“Time? What time?”
There was a pretty pink glow slowly saturating the sky. An orange hue was now mixing around it like a heavy fog like after a cold morning of rain. The bright orb was slowly starting to show from the bottom of the land shyly.
It was indeed an early morning. Perhaps a good start to her busy day. Yuri hoped it would be a good day.
“Well,” she started, “you’re not going to stay here forever, are you? I get the feeling that Donghae and Victoria want to return to their house after the mention of home by Nana. You miss home too, don’t you?”
Eunhyuk didn’t reply and she didn’t want for him to.
“I get the feeling that Donghae and Victoria would stay in touch with us, perhaps you would too since you’re close to them. I don’t know about Nana. It would be her nature to be hesitant about it.” Yuri said. “Would you make the effort to stay in touch with her?”
She purposely turned to get Eunhyuk’s reaction, but all she got was a mixed expression of confusion, frustration, and uncertainty. He wasn’t helping her with this conversation. Then Yuri forgot for a slight second that that wasn’t what the conversation was meant for. She wanted to chide Eunhyuk into talking to Nana. He needed to talk to her because he was most hesitant. It seemed like he was even worse than Nana when she first arrived.
“I’d let it slide, but the pressure in the air when we’re together is getting a little too arrogant,” Yuri went on, “I don’t want the relationship we all have with each other turn into cold ice just because none of us could say what’s most easiest. I can’t tell why you’re hesitating or why you can’t face it. Eunhyuk, you should really man up. I’d feel a little sad for Nana if you can’t confront the truth when she can. You should know you’re not one-sided, Eunhyuk. She’s waiting for you too, I hope you know that.”
His eyes pierced the morning sky slowly greeting them.
“If it was wrong for her to leave, I’d say lets not let her go, but home is a place where one belongs. It knows someone like no one else does. To be lonely even when you’re surrounded by people means you’re the most unhappy of anybody,” Yuri empathized, “Nana is struggling with grief and a sadness we can’t touch. I’m sure you see that in her, and even when I see it I can’t bring myself to understand why you just stand back. If she just leaves like this, I’m pretty sure we’ll never see her again.
“Talk to her. Try to expel some of her sadness. I have a feeling you’re just the person to do it. And while you try to lighten her heart, I’ll try my best to save you two from the homicide. You know, I talked to Chief Kang the other day. He’ll be here soon enough. You, Donghae, and Victoria will be safe till then. Lets all do our best for each other while we still can.”
***Right on! Yuri's words of encouragement should wake Hyuk up! I'm starting to close up on the side couple's problems, the long wait for HaeToria is almost over!
***I started dwelling upon HaeToria problems again. It'll be up in the next chapter perhaps. And I've written more about their argument, remember their awful argument? xD
spring semester ends this friday and i'm off for summer break :D i'll get back on track with YSRMII
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