Review:

Alice in B.A.P Land

Author: LoveX2254

Reviwer: BFInspirit20

♥ TITLE  4/5

I took off a point here because I've seen the idea of Alice in Wonderland in many B.A.P fanfics, including the same title. It's not bad, don't worry!

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION  8/10

I like the way you introduced Mila/Alice's character, it shows her personality. I took points off because it was very vauge, but then again, it makes the reader interested to see what happens in the story.
 

♥ STYLE + DESIGN  3/5

The poster was pretty good overall, but the blue for the word Alice doesn't look right with the rest of the picture. Also, it's called Alice in B.A.P Land, and Jongup is the only member of the group on the poster. Other than that, it looks good. Sorry to sound so harsh :(
 

♥ PLOT  18/30

Sorry to give such a low score, but the story is only on the second chapter. So little has happened so far that I can't make a fair review on the plot. When I first saw this story, I thought that Alice was actually going to end up in Wonderland with B.A.P, but so far she works as a live in maid. I'm not sure if she really will go into Wonderland, or if that's just how she refers to living with the boys, but until the story continues further, I can't make a proper review. I'm very sorry :/
 

♥ CHARACTERIZATION  10/15

So far, the relationship between Alice and Yoorae seems real and I think that Alice fits the character you described her as in the description. But as for B.A.P and Jin, I'm still unsure of their characters as of yet. I think that you should have each character spend time with Alice, that way the readers can really see what kind of people they are. Also, I took points of because, once again, the story is still in the beginning stages and the characters haven't progressed yet.

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING  20/20

I didn't see any mistakes as I was reading, very good job! :)
 

♥ FLOW  7/10

So far, the story is progressing well, but for one thing: From the first chapter to the second chapter, you jumped the story three weeks. I think that you should have had Alice spend day to day learning about the boys and their different behaviors and how they finally grow used to her. Other than that, the story is moving along well.

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT  3/5

Reading what you have so far, I'm not really sure what to think. But I know that I will enjoy this story even more as it progresses!

♥ OVERALL SCORE:  73/100

A/N: Becuase you didn't recieve a 90, your story is not eligable to be a feature in the feature story corner. But don't worry: Your story has just started, so there are a lot of questions unanswered. When the story progresses, it will receive a much higher score because it will have more detail, the plot line will be revealed as well as any relationships between the main characters. I hope that my review was able to help you, and hopefully we'll see you here again! Thank you for requesting! :D

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