Review:

Give Me Something To Believe In

Author: LoveX2254

Reviwer: DobuOnew

♥ TITLE  4/5

Though the title is a bit long I think it fits the story perfectly. I sense the romance and the sadness from the title. The reason why I took a point out it’s just because it’s a bit long, but either way I like it. 

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION  7/10

The description is okay, it doesn’t reveal too much about the story but it gives the necessary information to the reader. I personally advise you to not write those questions. I have been trying to let go of those questions in the end of the description, because sometimes the questions we write are not suitable once they “reveal” too much about the story. An example:

“Can she keep her real identity a secret all while trying to swallow the pain in her heart?”

with this question I quickly suppose that she won’t be able to keep her identity a secret and that’s something you don’t want the reader to know. It will make the story less interesting. Instead of those questions, replace them with phrases which can make the same effect you want.

I’ll show you. Using the question above, you could put it this way:

“Keeping her identity a secret, while trying to swallow the pain in her heart will definitely be an obstacle for Acadia.”

Like this the reader won’t be so sure about if she will really be able to do it or not. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?

Oh and I almost forgot about the foreword. Sorry. I actually liked the quote you put there. It fits the story and it was smart of you to put there a quote. 

♥ STYLE + DESIGN  3.5/5

In this case I’m sad that I had to take two points out. The poster is good but in my opinion I don’t think the theme of the poster fits the story much. Because the story is more angst than fluff I guess the poster should have darker colors, to show the angst of the story. It could also have only Youngjae and OC, you needn’t to put B.A.P in there as they don’t appear much in the story, but it doesn’t make a difference too. I can’t judge your background because you don’t have one, is just plain white which sadly made me take a point out. Relatively to the font, it’s at a good size and its color is good since it doesn’t hurt the readers’ eyes. 
 

♥ PLOT  24/30

About the plot I have some things to say. Since it’s about an idol falling in love with a “normal” girl and since I think I’ve read some of these plots, it makes it less appealing for me to read because it’s not so original and it’s not so unique. But you didn’t stick with that only idea of the usual “normal” girl. The fact that you used that kind of past for the OC, made it different somehow. I liked the fact that you made the OC strong enough to go and confront her father. In general it’s not bad, but you could have joined some more obstacles, like for example, you could have made JJ actually fall in love with Youngjae and try to steal him from Lina/Acadia. I also think it would be more exciting if Youngjae actually got involved in OC’s problems.
Other than that, I don’t think it’s a bad plot.

♥ CHARACTERIZATION  13/15

As for the characterization I must say that you were able to portray the strong, tough yet caring and friendly personality of Lina/Acadia. I liked that. For Youngjae I guess you should invest more in his character somehow. I feel something missing in him, I just can’t tell what, which makes me frustrated. As for the other minor characters I think you did well on characterizing the fatherly Mr. Osterbrock. About the OC’s father I hoped something more evil, more harmful but it was fine though. And lastly, the other characters had been well characterized.
 

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING  15/20

I found some misspelled words and some verb confusions. Like when you should use “are” you used “is” and also there are some words which aren’t supposed to be there. There’s also a thing you should know. I learned this when someone reviewed one of my stories: after the quotation mark (“.”) you should never use uppercase words, unless it’s a name (of a person; a place - country, city …- etc.), alright?

Since your story isn’t very detailed as in terms of vocabulary I can see that you don’t have vast vocabulary knowledge. And since you said in the request form that English is your first language and that you’re fluent I had no choice but to take some points out. Apart from what I said above I don’t think I found anything else to point out or advise you on. I guess it’s just what I have to say about your grammar and spelling. 
 

♥ FLOW  7/10

I was slightly disappointed with the flow. I think it is too fast. In my opinion, you made Youngjae fall in love with the OC too fast and all the happenings were a bit too near of one another. Maybe you should include some minor moments, which can also connect to all the events before the important ones, like for example, things people do daily like having breakfast or dinner … I don’t known if you understand what I mean. :s

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT  3.5/5

I honestly have to say that this story wasn’t one of those that made me want to read more. Although I enjoyed it, I often got distracted by other things around me and I felt that it hadn’t that mysterious and interesting feeling, which caused me to distract from the reading sometimes.  

♥ OVERALL SCORE:  77/100

a/n: I don’t know if my advices were useful for you or not, but I hope they were. I tried to not be harsh and point out your weak points in a nice way. I hope you liked my review and don’t forget to read the reminder, alright? Hope to see you request here again. :) Thank you so much for requesting at our shop and good luck with your story!  

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