Review: mafalda
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Review:
Author: mafalda
Reviwer: DobuOnew
♥ TITLE 3.5/5
Well, I think the title fits the story as Amber didn’t know if she should leave the wedding because she couldn’t take it or live because without Soojung, she wouldn’t be able to live. However I took a point because I think the title shouldn’t have the “/” in there. You could have put “Living or Leaving” instead and it would have looked better. The other half was because it seems a tiny bit confusing.
♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION 0/10
Since it’s a drabble and you don’t have a foreword for it I sincerely have no choice but to not judge this section.
♥ STYLE + DESIGN 2/5
The font is at a good size and the color of it doesn’t hurt reader’s eyes. Because you do not have a poster and a background I sadly had to take 3 points out.
♥ PLOT 23/30
The drabble was short as you had said before, but from what I read I found the plot interesting. It could have gone really well as a chaptered fanfic or a longer one-shot, because the idea of Amber loving someone who loves her too, but won’t be able to have her because she’s going to marry someone else is painful yet interesting. The last part was a bit confusing because I couldn’t understand if Amber ended with her life or not, as you said “by leaving the real world (…)” so I assumed that she had killed herself. O.o
♥ CHARACTERIZATION 11/15
I can’t say much from that little piece you wrote but I was able to realize Amber’s feelings towards Soojung and that she loved her very much to the point to not destroy her wedding and let her marry with the one Soojung “supposedly” loved.
♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING 19/20
The only things I found that made me take one point out were some comas that weren’t at their best place. The rest was all good.
♥ FLOW 7/10
For a so short drabble, I should not give much points as I’m not able to determine the flow with that only little writing. However I took three points because since it was short, I found it a little bit too fast.
♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT 4/5
In this short drabble I felt Amber’s pain as she saw Soojung in the altar with someone else but not her. I enjoyed reading and since you didn’t have any spelling mistakes (at least that I saw) it was even better to read.
♥ OVERALL SCORE: 69.5/100
a/n: I’m sorry for the score, but with such short drabble I couldn’t do much. Although it was short it was good and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up with the good work and nice ideas. Fighting! Remember to read the reminder. :) And do come back again. ^^
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layout coded by DobuOnew
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