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♥ TITLE 3/5: The title is kind of long, but not hard to remember and very eye-catching. At first, I thought that it was a Hunger Games type of storyline, but it turned out to be different, so I was a bit confused. So far in the story, Donghae is trying to just make it through life, and we really don't know much about Eunhyuk, so the title hasn't come into full effect yet.

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION 7/10: The foreword is really good, it really makes catches the reader's curiosity, as well as the excerpt from the story. However, some of the grammar in the bolded section was wrong, and the excerpt.
Should be: {"How will Donghae face his life? Which actions should he take"?} The period between the sentences makes the words and questions run smoother.
In the excerpt, after someone speaks, there always has to be a punctuation mark and a capital letter at the beginning of the new sentence.
Should be: {"We need to go now". He turned around, but instantly felt someone holding his wrist.}
Also, it's hard to tell who "smirked" in the next sentence. Make sure use periods instead of commas, it helps the transition of sentences run smoother.
Should have said: {He looked back at the tall guy who was now holding his wrist firmly. He smirked and said, "I'm Lee Hyukjae".
Overall, the foreword is very good, it doesn't give too much away, but has enough information to make the reader interested. Well done.

♥ STYLE + DESIGN 2/5: Here is where you loose some points. The font type you used is very good, the right size for reading, but it's the sentence style you used that is very hard to read.
Throughout the story, after each thought, you start a new paragraph, each line about a sentence or two, which is unnecessary. Remember: only start a new paragraph when a new person speaks, when the detail has reached more than 4-5 sentences, or when a different thought/action is brought up.
Ex: "Ahmmm". Donghae was thinking of the answer he would give him when he saw the group looking over to him.<
He immediately entered the music store pulling the boy with him.
He had a bad feeling, they weren't the kind of guys to have friends with, he could feel it.
Should be: {"Ahmm..". Donghae was thinking of the answer he would give when he saw the group looking over to him. He immediately entered the music store, pulling the boy with him. He had a bad feeling, that they weren't the kind of guys to have friends with, he could feel it.}

Having too many single sentences in a story can be hard to read, so don't be afraid to bunch some sentences together in one paragraph, it makes a huge difference.

The poster is really good, especially  with how the dark colors fit the mystery and dark secrets of both characters.
You did pretty good overall, there's nothing else to be pointed out here.

♥ PLOT 15/30: This story is still on-going, and is only a few chapters long, but we can see the plot emerging from the story, even though it's very vague. This story is about Donghae going through hardships to becomes a dancer, while he struggles with his inner problems, and meets Eunhyuk.
I really have no idea what's going to happen next, since nothing has really happened yet: Eunhyuk is very mysterious, and his meetings are short, so I really don't know what to make of him, or the impact he's going to have on rest of the story.
This story has a long way to go, because it's just getting started, so don't feel bad. This story has a lot of potential, and time to develop, so don't worry about this section too much.

♥ CHARACTERIZATION 9/15: Like I said in the plot, I really don't know much about Eunhyuk and his character, but we know quite a bit about Donghae. I really feel for Donghae's character, he's very tormented and depressed, but he sees something in Eunhyuk that makes him very curious. 
I really want to learn more about Donghae and his life, and much more about Eunhyuk. Also, I wonder if Kyuhyun will appear more in the story, and his relationship with Donghae, and how Eunhyuk knows him.  This story has a long way to go before it ends, so make sure to make the characters relatable and loveable, because it's the characters that make the story, not the plot.

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING 13/20: Your spelling isn't what's lowering the score, it's the grammar. Instead of explaining, I'll just give you three tips on grammar that will come in handy:
1.) It's better to use 1 period than 4 commas. Periods help the dialouges and thoughts run smoother, and look good when read. It gives the reader a chance to stop and start again, instead of the words running on.
2.) Always capitalize the next work after a sentence. {Ex: "Hello". He said happily.)
3.) Never put quotations on thoughts. Some writers do it, but they're meant to be italicized, not quoted since they aren't saying the words out loud. {Ex: What should I do today? Hmmm... He thought with a sigh.}
That's all you need to know. Just remember these tips and you're all set. Good job overall.

♥ FLOW 5/10: The story isn't that developed, but the plot seems to be going kind of fast. Don't be afraid to slow down and add more detail, it helps the story form on it's own.

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT 3/5: The plot is interesting, but the grammar mistakes and writing style made it hard to read. It's a good story, it just needs some fixes here and there.


♥ OVERALL SCORE 57/100

a/n: Don't worry about the low score, you just have to fix a few things, and write more! Mostly because your story isn't done, and not very far along, it's really hard to grade because a lot has yet to happen! This story has a lot of potential, and the more you put into it, the better it will be in the future!
Thank you for requesting, thank you for letting me be your reviewer. I hope that I was able to help you with your story through this review. I hope to see you here again sweetie, thanks again!

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