Pick Up

Night Serenade

Author: relau99 

Reviewer: BFInspirit20

Title: 5/5

This title is short, sweet and easy to remember. It also fits very well with the plot of the story.

Foreword + Description: 7/10

Very unique, and a very cute-sounding story! I like how you start the description with a question, and continue on with a first person incarcerator. The only thing that I took points off for was the grammar and tenses. 

Instead of saying "I got a crush on my neighbor", switch it to something like "I developed a crush on my neighbor", it makes the sentence flow better.

Also, make sure to watch the tenses such as "Will this crush of mine end up crushing me"? Instead of "Would this crush of mine end up crushing me"? It gives off the sense that the narrator has no idea what will happen, making it sound like she is going on the journey with the reader, making the story attractive to the eye. 

Style + Design: 5/5

The font style was perfect to the story, since it was very easy to read and fit the cuteness of the story. The poster, which is very cute by the way, fits the story as well, especially with the dormitory setting and Chanyeol's guitar.

Plot: 25/30

This story is very cute, and it made me smile as I read it! I was excited to see if Chanyeol and the lead would end up meeting each other, and that they would sing their song together! I like how it was a simple story, and how it was the perfect length so it didn't drag on. I loved the cute ending, but I wanted to see what happened afterwards, it didn't really feel complete. This is a great story to read at night, and it's an awesome story for those who love to read cute romances with happy endings.

Characterization: 11/15

I loved all 3 characters, including Baekhyun, but I wanted to know a little more about Chanyeol and the lead's best friend. This story is short and simple, so the characters don't need backstories, but it adds more depth to the story as a whole. The story is fine without talking about them a while bunch, even Chanyeol since his POV gave some insight on his character. Overall, the characters fit the theme of the story well, but they could use a bit more detail.

Grammar + Spelling: 17/20

Your spelling was good overall, rarely any spelling mkstakes. All I have to say is to mke surento watch your tenses so the story flow stays consistant, and make sure to watch your punctuation. Well done overall.

Flow: 8/10

The entire story progressed well, and didn't seem rushed, although the ending came pretty quick. Other than that, the story was well, and I can't imagine the story with a different ending.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

I loved this story! Although the ending came all to quick, I thought that this was a cute story and I enjoyed it!

Overall Score: 82/100

A/N: Although you scored lower than a 90 and this story won't be featured, this is still a very cute story! Always remember to read over your work, never be afraid some detail to a character or scene, and most of all: have fun! This story is so cute, I hope to see more of your work in the future. Thank you for requesting, thank you for letting me be your reviewer, and hopefully we'll see you here again soon! Take care! :)

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