Pick Up

The Chosen Twelve

Author: Vixxtn 

Reviewer: BFInspirit20

Title: 4/5

I can tell right by title that this was a story about EXO and their powers, which is a good thing, but a bit overused. I didn't have to think about the meaning behind the title, so I give you credit for being original.

Foreword + Description: 9/10

You did a great job with the foreword by not giving away too much, and giving just enough information to interest the reader. I also like the warning you made, it was really cute. I took a point off because the font was  a bit too large, and that the first letter of each word didn't have to be in caps.

Style + Design: 4.5/5

The font used, and the pretty background you guys used for this story, really helps with getting into the story. I took off half a point for the poster because, it doesn't say the title of the story.

Plot: 23/30

I think that this story is really good overall. Like a classic story of a journey, each hero is faced with challenges filled with death, triumph and love, and I think that you guys did a good job with the journey itself, as  well as connecting the MV's to the story.  I love how you used Shugo Chara characters as the guardians, and I love all of the different K-pop artists you used throughout the story.

However, I took points off for the ending. It seemed quite rushed with Lay leaving and everyone else getting married to each other. I don't know, maybe I was expecting a much bigger ending to the story, but it felt incomplete. I noticed that you guys made a sequel, but sadly I can only judge based on this story. Also, I felt that the scenes between the pairings were unnecessary to the plot, it would have been fine without it.

Characterization: 10/15

I really didn't learn much of the characters on an individual basis, I learned about them through the pairings. I personally felt that the characters weren't truly portrayed, only through their powers and slight voice. Don't be afraid to add more detail and voice to a character, it may make the story longer, but it will help readers connect to each character better.

Grammar + Spelling: 13/20

You spelled almost everything correctly, but there were some capitalization mistakes as well as some missing punctuation throughout the story. Make sure to stop and re-read everything, so everything looks good and brings out the story.

Flow: 6/10

I felt like this story was smooth in the beginning, then felt a bit rushed when all of the members of EXO were introduced along with the pairings., and rushed with the final chapter. Not too bad, the story was still easy to follow, so that's good.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

I liked this story, but the rough transitions and the grammar mistakes kind of took away from the story. It was good, but not the best I've read.

Overall Score: 72.5/100

A/N: Even though you didn't receive a 90 to be featured, this is still a good story! It's mostly the grammar that brings the story down, everything else is good! Just remember: edit, take your time, and have fun!

I am very sorry about the wait for this review, I really hope that you won't be too upset with us. Thank you so much for requesting, thank you for letting me be your reviewer, and we hope to see you here again soon! Thanks again! :)

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