+ REVIEW                                                                                                                                                               

♥ TITLE 5/5: A commonly-used title, but it fits the story very well. You really captured the idea of first love through Ji Won and Sehun's relationship.

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION 7/10: The foreword is very simple and kept to the point, but there are some grammatical errors that take away from the effect. (Ex: "But what is she met a guy and falls in love with him". Should be: "But what is she meets a guy and falls in love with him"?)
Other than that, the pictures and descriptions are good, giving just enough info to keep the reader reading.

♥ STYLE + DESIGN 3/5: The poster is good, but it didn't quite fit the tone of the story. Looking at it, I was expecting a sad tale about first love, but it was exactly the opposite- A happy story. Regarding the font, the font size is really good, but is inconsistent near the end of the story.

♥ PLOT 20/30: The story follows the foreword, going through Ji Won's and Sehun's relationship together as first loves. I think that the story progressed at such a fast pace, we really didn't get to enjoy the story to it's full potential.

♥ CHARACTERIZATION 7/15: There were many characters in this story, but even with the many points of view, there was little depth to them. I think that if the characters had more personal thoughts about home or school and that they weren't so focused on one another, the characters would have been more memorable and had a bigger effect on the story. Also, I personally think that Sehun and Ji Won fell in love a bit too fast and so the story was rushed as well.

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING 12/20: Throughout the story, there were many errors in grammar that really took away from the story. I know that you don't speak English that well, so don't worry about this part too much.

♥ FLOW 4/10: The story had a clear beginning and end, but the story felt quite rushed with many random things happening at once. The plot should have been developed at a slower pace, allowing the characters to grow along with the story.

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT 3/5: This story was cute, but the constant in change of views and errors in grammar that made the story a bit hard to read. I understand that English isn't your first language, so don't take this too personal. The story is still fun and light, a good story to read on a day off.

♥ OVERALL SCORE 61/100

a/n: Don't worry about the lower score, this was your first fanfiction so don't worry. Grammar and plot development is something we learn how to do as we grow in writing, as well as character development. The best advice I can give is: Let the story flow, don't be afraid to add more detail to the story and bring your characters to life.

Thank you so much for requesting for a review, and we're sorry for the delay. I hope that you don't mind that I took over your review and I hope that I was able to help you with your work. Thank you so much and we hope to see you again soon! :)

 + REMINDER                                  


01. Don't forget to comment after picking up the review
02. Also follow at the rules of somnium review shop
03. Do comeback again ;)