Review:

Daddy Brings Home Food

Author: KirbylovesToto

Reviwer: BFInspirit20

♥ TITLE: 4/5

I honestly had no idea what to make with this title at first galnce. But once I read the description, I realized that it fit the theme, so I was pleased that you made it simple and easy to remember.

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION  7/10

The foreword was very odd, beacause I had never seen a description like yours, and I had no idea what to expect from the story: If it really was a simple story about Junhong wanting food and Yongguk giving it to him, or it it was something more. Nonetheless, I was more than curious to see what happened so I continued reading.
 

♥ STYLE + DESIGN  3/5

I loved the way you font you used and the way you divided the sections of the chapters, but since there was no poster, I had to take points off.
 

♥ PLOT  28/30

I have only one word to describe this story: powerful. The emotion, the constant inner demons that Yongguk is facing about his dead wide, the loss of his job, and his true thoughts about his "special" son had my heart practically breaking in two. When the first chapter ended, I thought thought that Yongguk was going to kill Junhong, much like the ending in John Stienbeck's Of Mice and Men, but he didn't which had me on the final chapter. The ending was so shocking, but very unique because I did not expect it at all. The ending was very good and captured the story well, and the story was just amazing. I have had yet to read such a powerful story like yours, well done.
 

♥ CHARACTERIZATION  14/15

Since Yongguk was the only speaker, you did a good job on Junhong's character as well. The way you described his actions and how Yongguk understood his son's behavior made them both seem so real. The pain Yongguk felt as he struggled to love his imperfect son was so heart-wrenchimg, I was almost in tears from the beauty and sadness of it all. Yongguk is a character that I will never forget, not only because of his mouth-dropping action at the end of the story, but because of the human-like voice you gave him. Awesome job.
 

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING 18/20

I read in the request form that English is not your first language, and that you mostly speak Mandarin. Your use of English is very good in this story, I honestly thought that you were fulent based on your writing. You only had a few mistakes here and there with a word or two, but your vocabulary was exceptional and flawless, adding to the beauty of your story.
 

♥ FLOW  10/10

This story was at a very good pace throughout the two chapters, no problem here.
 

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT  5/5

I really liked this story: the inner relationship and the struggles between a father and son, and how far a father would go to love and protect his son. I honestly cannot believe that you're only 12 years old and you wrote this amazing story: you are truly talented! This story will be with me for a long time, because I will never be able to forget the amazing ending and characters. Well done, thank you for the good read.

♥ OVERALL SCORE:  89/100

A/N: Because you did not recieve at least a score of 90, your story is unable to be featured in the featured story corner. However, I will make sure to spread the word about your story because you did such an amazing job! Thank you so much for your request to this shop: I hope that my review will be of some use to your writing, and I hope to see you here again when you write another fantastic story! Take care until next time, and thank you again for requesting! ! :)

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