Review:

Thanks for the Memories

Author: mafalda

Reviwer: BFInspirit20

♥ TITLE  4/5

Ah, the infamous title from Fall Out Boy. It is a good title because it doesn't give away what happens in the story, it is very simple and easy to remember. It fit the theme of the story pretty well, good job.

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION  9/10

I became very interested once I read the foreword. I have never read a fanfic where Kai is an artist, and I wondered what kind of masterpiece he made. I didn't know until I read the tag and actual story that D.O was in the story, but it doesn't really matter because the foreword is perfect the way it is. I took off one point because the opening sentence just sounds a little odd when spoken aloud. Other than that, very well done.
 

♥ STYLE + DESIGN  3/5

Sadly, I had to take points off for the poster. I didn't really like how it only showed Kai, and also that the picture used was a photo of him at the airport. The man in the background kind of takes away from Kai's face and position. Also, the font on the poster is fine, but the T in thanks should have been capitalized. Remember that the poster sets the tone and mood of the story! Other than that, the appearance of the story itself was done very well.
 

♥ PLOT  24/30

I liked the way you jumped back in forth from the past to the present, leaving the reader guessing the relationship between the two boys. Overall, it was a very good story, and I really felt for both characters. I took off points because this story feels incomplete, and kind of general: You didn't say who Kai was engaged to, why he didn't tell Kyungsoo his true feelings, or what happened to Kyungsoo that caused Kai so much grief. I can tell by the style of writing that this story was meant to be a one-shot, but it needs to have a sequel, and I mean that in the most positive way! I want to see what happens to the two boys, it can't end yet!
 

♥ CHARACTERIZATION  14/15

I really felt for Kai's character: the pain of unrequited love, and being unable to tell your love to someone because of someone else or your own fear of rejection. Since Kai was the only character that we could read the thoughts of, I was curious as to what was causing him so much anguish. I took points off because we are very unsure as to what caused him so much pain, only that he loves Kyungsoo but he was unable to tell the boy his feelings because of something that happened.
 

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING  19/20

Your spelling was very good, I really didn't see any problems with it. The only thing I took points off for was a slight overuse of the word And when staring a sentence. Other than that, everything else looked really good!
 

♥ FLOW  10/10

I thought that the story was set at a good pace, nothing was rushed, good job.

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT  4/5

I really enjoyed reading this story, I just wished that it could continue because it feels incomplete. Great job on it!

♥ OVERALL SCORE:  87/100

A/N: Because you did not receive a score of 90 or higher, your story is unable to be featured in the featured story corner. However, this story is very good and I will make sure to recommend it to people! I hope that you enjoyed my review! I noticed in the request that the owner of this shop, DobuOnew, read it first and you wanted my opinion, so I hope that you liked reading my review! Thank you so much for requesting, I hope that I was able to help your writing, and I hope to see you stop by again real soon :D

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