Review:

Faith on Us

Author: ErinKrystal

Reviwer: BFInspirit20

♥ TITLE  4/5

I've never seen this title used before. But I think it would sound better if it was called "Faith In Us", since "Faith On Us", doesn't sound right. Other than that, it's short and easy to remember.

♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION  6/10

I saw in your request form that you are not fluent in English, so I expect that your grammar is not going to be 100% correct. But the description was very hard to read. To make it sound clearer, it should say something like "People say that we can't always get what we want, that the things we dream for will never happen. But they always forgot one thing: Hope:". It's easier to read and makes the reader interested to read it.

As for the foreword, it was also hard to read. It's nothing too big, I can still understand what you're trying to say, but the grammar is off. (Ex: He lurked himself behind the true identity of his. It's not an easy task for a person liked him". Should say something like: "He hid behind another identity, a task that wasn't easy for someone like him".)

(Ex 2: She was born with a silver spoon in , money all over her, and a fame that she did not even has to chase for it". Should say something like: "She was born with a silver spoon in , money all around her and fame that wasn't even hers, a spoiled child". It's shorter and easier to read).

Other than that, god job, it made me wonder what would happen in the story.

♥ STYLE + DESIGN  4/5

You used a very good poster, although it's a little blurry. I loved the font colors, especially the red for "Us". The quote is perfect for the theme as well. Very good job.

 ♥ PLOT  23/30

Ahh, the rich storyline: someone who has it all cannot buy love. Classic and very sweet, but  I like how Eunchae keeps her distance from Seungri even though she likes him, because she' afraid of getting hurt again. We slowly learn about Seungri's past as well, and wow, what a sad background :( I took points off because the story's plot isn't entirely clear, and also because it's incomplete. I'm sure that it will get better in the chapters to come :)

♥ CHARACTERIZATION  12/15

The characters are interesting so far as we are learning about each one of them. I took points off because I want to learn more about the characters, which is slowly happening, but also they feel a little empty. Try adding more emotion to the characters, don't be afraid to let them show some tears or have a long speech about how they're feeling. Get those feels out there, it'll make the story shine!

♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING  15/20

As I wrote before, I know that English isn't your first language, but the overall idea of the story can be see. However, the tenses are off and it makes the story hard to read. I would suggest finding a co-author who could edit the mistakes, because believe it or not: stories with bad grammar receive less publicity because of the mistakes. I promise, the better the grammar, the better the story.

♥ FLOW  9/10

The story is incomplete, but it seems to be going well: it isn't rushed or too slow.

♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT  3/5

The story isn't over yet, so I couldn't enjoy it fully! But just make sure to update soon and work super hard on it, and I'm sure that I will enjoy it more when I read it in my free time! 

♥ OVERALL SCORE:  76/100

A/N: Aww, because you didn't score a 90, your story is not able to be featured in the featured story corner, However, this story has a lot of potential! Sure, the grammar needs to be checked, but it has the chance to be a great story if you truly care about it and work hard making it! I'll stay subscribed to the story if you ever need more help, as long as you put in the effort, deal? :)

Thank you so much for requesting a review from me! I hope that I was able to help you with your writing, make sure to work hard on this story and your other ones! Hopefully we'll see you here again! Take care sweetie, fighting! :D

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