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The Siren's Cry

Author: thecafewriter 

Reviewer: DobuOnew

Title: 5/5

The title is attractive, it’s unique as I haven’t seen one like it before; the length is good – it isn’t too long; I can see that it relates to the story / plotline and theme, as I right in the second chapter you mention a mermaid and later the “siren” word and explain everything; It transmits the sad and drama theme of the story by the word “cry” and I do think it fits perfectly to the story.

Foreword + Description: 8/10

The description is inviting. It doesn’t reveal too much. However, I think it could have been a bit more captivating. It’s good the way it is, I just have this feeling that it could have been more “catchy”.

The foreword was well used, as you put an excerpt, well that isn’t much of an excerpt. It is more of an insight of how it all started; and gave the readers a preview to make them interested in the story. The “Credits” and the “Author’s Commentary” could have been put in the foreword, but you I think you didn’t do it for the space it would take, maybe.

There aren’t many colors and the size of the font is good, so it’s great overall. 

Style + Design: 5/5

Regarding the actual chapters, the font has a good size; the color doesn’t hurt reader’s eyes and it’s always the same.

The writing style is simply amazing, although it’s simple and readers can follow up with the story well. It matches the theme and genre and it lures readers in. Very good!

The Poster and background suit the theme, plot and genre as well.

Plot: 30/30

Well, to start off I want to say that I’ve never watched the Little Mermaid movie and so, I don’t really know what happens in the story. I do see the familiarities it has to the actual fairy tale, but maybe I do like your story a lot more, because it happens in the present time – modern days.

For me, I really do like fantasy stories. It actually depends. I don’t like the “Lord of Rings” and “Harry Potter” for example. Going straight to the matter, I really did enjoy the junction of the fantasy world and the modern days you were able to pull off very well. You really kept everything real and believable.

The fact that you made everything connect with each thing, was really amazing. How it was in fact Luhan’s fault that the scientist had continued his search and ended up finding Jinyu; how it was actually Nickhun, who handed Jinyu to the Institute of Science; how it was Nickhun’s mother who found Jinyu on the beach, etc.

I wanted to point out any flaw that possibly had come to my mind, but I actually have nothing against this beautiful plot.

Characterization: 15/15

I must say that the characters were all creative, believable and with unique personalities. They’re all pretty well developed and they do relate to the plotline and theme.

I would like to go through all the characters that play big roles on the story and speak a bit about them.

Let’s start with the OC – Jinyu. I must say that I really like this character. Not because she’s the main, but because I just love her ignorant personality towards the human world. For her, everything is new and seems harmless or insignificant. Due to not belonging to the human world, she’s somehow naïve and generous towards others. She’s determined and tries to achieve her goal and because she’s gullible and kind, she takes all her help she can to find Luhan. That’s why I like her. 

Yixing, on one hand is a normal boy that at first sight doesn’t seem that special. However, as the story develops, he becomes different in a way I can’t explain. He’s not like Luhan, a son from a rich family that has it all and is handsome. He’s just … normal. But I just love how he becomes attached to Jinyu; how he helps her; how he explains the human world to her and protects her, even though there aren’t any feelings in the beginning. I just love how he was willing to ignore his feelings towards her and let her go to his best friend, in order to break the spell and let her live.

Luhan, in the other hand, has some sparkles of a cliché background. He’s son of rich parents, is handsome and has everything he wants, except happiness around his parents and freedom. He’s not a bad guy/jerk what makes it even more difficult for readers to root for one of boys. Besides these characteristics, one of the things that makes his character believable, is possibly his fear of the ocean and his courage to face it when rescuing Jinyu, as well as the relationship he has with Yixing.

For Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, I just love these two. I laughed so much with these boys throughout the story. Relatively to Chanyeol, I’m already used to reading about this cheerful side of him in other stories, but talking about Kyungsoo, this is a whole new side of him. I wasn’t expecting him to be this playful boy, full of unimaginable ways to get money thought. I really enjoyed his personality here.

I would go through the rest of the characters but, it would cost me the whole day and I don’t think it is really necessary. I just wanted to express how much I liked your characterization and how believable the characters were.  

Grammar + Spelling: 19/20

I just noticed some misspelled words, but nothing I think it would be worth mentioned here, as well as one or two comas, that were either missing or at the wrong place. 

Flow: 10/10

The flow was great: not too fast or too slow. It was just right. Everything flowed very well. There wasn’t a time I felt that the story was going slowly or fast. 

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

I sooooo loved this story! It’s now on my favorite stories’ list. It’s so beautifully written and everything just seems so natural that I completely fell for this story. Not to mention that Yixing is just the cutest thing ever and is my bias, so bonus points.

Overall Score: 97/100

a/n: I am soooo sorry for this eternity-like wait you had to go through. School started and then family events occurred and it turned out difficult for me to read the story. Hopefully I managed to finish it today, as I have exams coming. Once again, I am really sorry for the long wait.

Because you scored higher than 90% your story will be feature in the "Featured Story" corner. :)

Even though there wasn’t much to point out/correct, I hope my review was useful and that you liked it. I tried my best in advising you in the best way I can, with all my knowledge of English. If you did like my review, I hope you can request again in the future. I would be more than glad to review one of your works again. Thank you for requesting at our shop and keep up spreading the love towards our k-pop idols through writing! Please don’t forget to read the reminder. Fighting!

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