Review: KimmyNurry
♦ Memories | Somnium Review Shop ArchiveLUHAN FELL IN LOVE WITH A NINJA GIRL!
- by KimmyNurry
reviewer: WolfGirl88
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♥ TITLE 2/5: Well, what can I say? First of all, I would like to suggest you to change the tittle from LUHAN FELL IN LOVE WITH A NINJA GIRL! to LUHAN IS IN LOVE WITH A NINJA GIRL. Second if all, why do you put that exclamation mark? Third of all, I read your foreword, and Luhan isn't in love with Hana yet, so the tittle is not suitable for your story.
♥ FOREWORD + DESCRIPTION 7/10: The foreword and the description are good. But I suggest you to stop until the quotes only for your description and put the rest in your foreword. It's too messy. The layout is not that good too.
♥ STYLE + DESIGN 3/5: The poster is good, the font is great also. But not for your story layout. It's still messy.
♥ PLOT 27/30: The plot is still considered new as I don't really read many stories with ninjas in it. And good job because as I went through your story, you managed to impress your readers and they enjoyed your story.
♥ CHARACTERIZATION 13/15: You did well explaining their characterization. Perhaps you've been though the same story in your life because I can easily understand your characters in this story. The thing is, you should've write something about Hana suddenly attracted to Luhan because she suddenly love Luhan just like that. I thought Hana doesn't like Luhan.
♥ GRAMMAR + SPELLING 15/20: Throughout the story, I don't really see any spelling mistakes but yes there are a lot of grammar errors. But don't worry. Since English isn't your first language, you can still improvise.
♥ FLOW 8/10: The pace of this story is going not too fast and not too slow. Nice job! It's not easy writing a story with more than twenty chapters without making the flow going a bit fast but you did it.
♥ OVERALL ENJOYMENT 5/5: It's a good story. I will have to subscribe in order to read it. But I am satisfied with this story so I won't unsubscribe so don't worry. I will read this story because it's so cute. Luhan and Hana, they are both so cute in this story.
♥ OVERALL SCORE 80/100
a/n: Not a bad score you got there! Right? Don't worry, all that you will have to do is too practice more and perhaps improvise your grammar? English is not that hard, you know? So, keep on updating your story and fighting!
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