"Do we still need her?"

Twice makes a comeback with a ballad song. Our agency uses Twice's last kidnapping moment so well, our new song becomes a hit on every chart. Typical JYPe. To be fair, all the members have got medical treatments for their physical and mental health. All free until they were fully recovered. I think the members are also cheered up with the huge success of this comeback so, yeah, it's okay. My solo project was a total dud anyway. People say that it was all boring and forced. Now that Twice's name has finally returned to the surface, people start liking them again, or start seeing their good sides. And nothing makes me happier than that.

"My reason for loving Twice is always because of the OT9....."

I try not to feel it this way but now the comments from our fans on the internet always attack me. So are from the TV shows and media interviews. Well, maybe not attacking. They just always bring up the same issue. It's like the reason for me being here is not good enough for them. It's weird for them to see me stay in Twice. The toughest question for me is always 'Why are you added to Twice?'. Well, I have many various answers for that. I think I still can handle that. It just doesn't stop.....

"I think her time is up.'

But, nah, I don't really care with that. Nothing makes me concerned more than the members' condition. I'm glad that they look happy with each other again. They start laughing at things, joking around, acting gay to each other, etc. I'm glad all the joy has returned, even though it doesn't really feel the same.....

That's being said, now I can share what I feel to them. I was afraid before. I was afraid to make them felt worse if I told my depressed feelings. Maybe now it's okay (?). Shall I start? Honestly, I feel a little bit down too these days. I need someone to talk. I walk to my room to find my-- I'm surprised that she just comes out of the door without saying anything. Just walks away. Almost hits me. "Tzu.... Tzuyu?"

I enter the room, thinking if I shall catch her up or not. She doesn't seem okay but so am I. Then I decide to walk back to the door and close it. "Tzuyu!" I call to find her

I find her in the kitchen, closing a bottle of Pocari. As soon as I come in, she glares at me.

"What!"

"Ah... Uh.... Nothing." That makes me startled. "Umm.... Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," She says while putting it back to the refrigerator. Then Tzuyu walks away, passing me, going somewhere. I follow her. She goes to the balcony. Her handphone is already there before her.

I sit beside her. "You don't look okay. Is there a problem?" I ask her carefully.

"Huh......"

"Did I make a mistake? I'm sorry....."

"I SAID I AM FINE!"

"I... I get it."

It's quiet for a while. Tzuyu is busy with her phone when I don't know what to do. I think I shall start a conversation.

"Do you know when you guys were disappeared, that made me hold the fan-signing alone. Unfortunately, Onces were not satisfied. I felt like I couldn't entertain them haha... Oh my God, that was sooooo embarassing!" After a second, I ask myself why I tell her this story.

She doesn't answer anyway. Just a hum.

"To be honest... I feel like I complain too often. All I do to you is whining."

"It's okay, Unnie. It doesn't really affect me," She answers. "How many times should I tell you that?"

"Mian....."

"Stop saying sorry. I'm sick of it."

"......."

"And don't cry! Gosh, you're so predictable," She says right when my eyes start to get teary. She sees it. "Huh, as expected." 

Then I look back at her.

I laugh.

I laugh!

I laugh so hard.

"What's so funny???" She gives me a weird look

"Exactly! Nothing's fun. Not anymore. Hahahaha....." I wipe my tears.

She's confused. I'm sure she is.

"Okay okay, I get it, Tzuyu," I say as I'm thinking to go back to my room or not. In the end, she stays there. I leave. 

***

Raj Oppa somehow manages to become my personal manager. His status is still Twice's manager but all he does is taking care of me. I don't know why they give him that job. It's not just me who's confused. The members are wondering why the new manager is always around the new member. Oh, do they still see me as a new member?

"We have a meeting next Thursday, Haeju. Be prepared, " Oppa tells me when both of us are alone.

"What meeting?"

"You and Jype CEO. Park Jinyoung will be there too."

"Oh... PD-nim? What is this about?" I ask him.

"I'm not sure."

"Have you told the other members?"

"No, they only invite you."

"I see......"

"Actually, I think I know what the meeting will be about," He speaks again.

"What is it?"

"Hmm..... You do read all the news recently, right? People keep talking about you, Haeju."

"Yeah, I aware of that. I've been asking myself if I shall stay or not...... No no, I must stop thinking negatively!" I talk to myself.

"Haeju...." He touches my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know, Oppa......" 

Raj Oppa clears his throat. "There's no shame in moving on. If you don't enjoy being here anymore, don't feel obliged to stay back for the sake of others. Move on. Find other places and other people who you can have fun with. It's how life is."

"Y... You think so?"

"And as people start leaving, you can leave them as well without breaking anyone's heart. We'll be sad. We'll miss you for sure. But we'll wish you the best because we know it's the best for you. It will be ended for good so you don't have to worry. You've done many fun things anyway. I'm sure you already get enough good memories here. Hey, don't be hard on yourself, okay? Even heaven knows you've tried!" He rubs my back until it's shaking, as shaken as my heart right now.

"Yeah, you're right," I say to him shortly.

"Haeju!" He calls my name. I look at him in the eyes. "Trust me."

I feel stuffed in my chest. I don't know that it's THIS hard to accept reality. But then I realize this is not something bad. It's just......

".....Oppa," I call him.

"Yes?"

I lay back in the chair. Exhale deeply. Stretch my back. Get my fingers relaxed. I guess I've sat for so long. Then I imagine talking to everyone who has already supported me so far. I smile as I remember all the love I've received. Maybe I don't deserve it but I'm grateful. I love them back. All of them! Really! I love you, guys!!! But now I just need to say this one thing. I hope you can understand.......

.....Every story needs an ending.

((author's note)) To be continued to the next chapter.....