((author's note)) This story below is related to this chapter. But it might be better if you don't read that. At least, don't say that I haven't warned you.......

There is one girl that I admire so much. She is not just kind, caring, friendly, hard-working, and tough. But she is also sooooo much beautiful. I'm glad I have tasted her beauty up close but, unfortunately, since "that night" both of us become a little bit...... awkward. At least, that's what I feel. There is a gap between us. There is also this bizarre feeling everytime I see her. A feeling that makes me approach her further but stops me from doing that at the same time. It's so complicated!

"How are you, Haeju?" Suddenly a familiar voice is heard from behind. Yes, only she and I who are free now. The others still need to finish their session in the photo shoot.

"I'm fine," I try to sound normal. "How about you..?"

"I'm good. Thanks!" She smiles widely. Those warming smile and bright eyes.... People usually get energized with her charm but, strangely, not me. I still feel uncomfortable with her, even right now.

"Are you okay? Thirsty? There you can get a bottle of water from the staffs," She is pointing somewhere.

"I'm okay, JIhyo. Thanks," I smile. She smiles back. Again. And, maybe because she is bored, she keeps talking with me afterward. Awkwardness is in the air. Argh, doesn't she remember what have we done?!

".......Anyway, what do you think about Twice so far, Haeju? I'm curious," She asks me at one time. Still unrelated to "that topic".

"Mm.... I enjoy it. It's kinda tiring and the public can be so meanie sometimes. But somehow I feel passionate and exciting in performing, so I don't really think about it. It's really my passion to perform as Twice. Overall, I'm happy," I answer her question.

"Glad to hear that! Yeah, it is tiring at the beginning, but you'll get used to it after a long time. Trust me!" She winks.

"Yeah, I guess so...."

"But actually, what did I want to ask you was about the members. What do you think about the Twice members, Ju?"

"Ooooh.... Well, they are nice. So kind to me. I feel so accepted."

"You think so?"

"Yeah....."

"Hmm okay.... Good good......" She looks unsatisfied with my answer. Now she is looking at the others, having no idea what to do. Awkward.........

"Haaah...." I exhale deeply, "To be honest, some of them are kinda annoying for me........." I try to answer her question more.

"REALLY?! WHO WHO?" She gets so excited to hear that.

"You know..... Sana is so random and likes skinship so much. Sometimes I get scared of her. Hmm... I cannot really talk well with Momo somehow. Nayeon is kinda arrogant and she just does anything she wants to do. She also talks to many people, so it's not easy for me to get close with her. I don't know. Maybe just me--" I tell something that might be interesting for her. Jihyo responds what I say excitingly. Then, it makes us talk a lot about it. That makes ME talk a lot about it. She makes me talk a lot with her.

Slowly I forget about that "incident".......

***

I wondered if my next conversation with Jihyo would be awkward, but it was not. I'm happy to talk with her. I still feel uncomfortable every time I remember "that", but I think it's fine. For now. I don't need to remind her about that anyway. Maybe it was not a big deal after all........ 

"Ah, I suddenly remember that night," She brings that topic all of sudden. I'm glad no one is in this room right now so no one can hear that. I don't know where Tzuyu is. Probably, she is in Dubchaeng's room. I need her omgggg......

"Wha.... What night?" I pretend that I don't know what she is talking about. I'm actually hoping that she is not talking about "that". My fingers are crossed.

She nudges me. "You knowww, when we were doing it on a night like this. Making out...."

Oh my gosh, she is talking about it!

"What do you think about that, Haeju?"

"Ah, thaaaat~ Yeah.... It's good. It was awesome....." I don't know what to say.

"I know you enjoyed it. Me too." She giggles with her unique heavy voice. "Have you done it again with anyone else?"

"NO! I mean...... Yeah, I haven't done it again since that."

"Wow, that's surprising....!" She looks really surprised. "Aren't you interested to do that?"

I really don't know what to answer. "It's not that I'm not interested....."

"So?"

"....I don't know. Maybe I just haven't found the right moment to do that."

"Hmm yeah.... We are kinda busy these days."

Actually, that's not the reason. It was just so special when I did it with her. I don't think I can do it that far with anyone else. I don't want to.

"I get it tho," Jihyo suddenly says.

I pull my head back automatically as I'm confused. "You get what?"

"I know Tzuyu is still so young. And Sana is just too innocent, although deep down she is really gay. Haha... I know you are really close with both of them the most. But you just can't do that with them. Right?"

She guesses it totally wrong. "You are so right! How do you know that?"

"I can see that. I always watch my members, you know?" Jihyo grins. Ah, if only she knows the truth.

I really want to tell her the truth......

To be honest, she is kinda beautiful tonight. With her pink shirt and hot pants. She smells nice too. I have an option to just do "that" again. But maybe not. Should I? Sometimes I'm wondering why she did it with me from the first place. To teach me?? To let me know that it's normal among the Twice members. Why didn't she just tell me verbally???

"'Why, Jihyo?"

"Why what?" She is confused with what I say accidentally.

"Oh oh, nothing....."

"Why do Tzuyu and Sana not do it with you?"

"No no.... Nevermind, I was just-"

"Why did I do it with you?" She guesses it right this time.

That makes me stopped talking automatically. Please, I answer that, Jihyo! 

"I guess I have told you the reason why I did that, Haeju, right?"

No, you haven't!

"I did it because...." Jihyo continues her sentence, "Well, you are tall and beautiful. I like your personality too. And I also felt responsible to teach you many things about Twice. I just hoped you could adapt with us. So, in order to be like that, I taught you by doing it. I hope that makes you wouldn't be awkward or shocked if you see something like that from the members in the future. I just wanted you to feel comfortable with our members," She explains it well.

Aaah.... She just felt responsible as the leader of Twice. Typical Jihyo. I should have guessed that!

"You are not angry with me, are you?"

"No," I lie. Of course I'm angry with you, Jihyo. You make me lose my ity. You change my life!

"Glad to hear that. I was so happy to do that with you, Haeju....."

I nod and smile. "I enjoyed it too........." I say. Now that's not a lie.

I'm really glad that my biggest answer about her is finally answered. We do a little chit-chat unrelated to "that topic" before she finally is coming back to her room. It's already late. Tzuyu has (finally) come back too and she looks really sleepy. Jihyo knows that I'm easily tired, so she leaves as she doesn't want to disturb us. She is a really kind leader. That makes me admire her more. I turn off the light and lay on my bed. 

So, is that it? Yes, she answers my curiosity, but what should I do now? Is this the end?? Can I not feel awkward with her anymore? Should I treat 'that night' as something not special? Does she expect me to do that??? Really, Jihyo??!

.....Do you think my problem is solved?

((author's note)) Now I'm wondering if I should try another (M) story? The guilty after writing it tho :')