[IN THE DORM]

“Why are you such a crybaby???”

Nayeon and the others are teasing me because I'm crying, again. They caught me while watching TV. I am touched with what I watch that makes my eyes teary.
“I’m just touched... What’s wrong with that?” I say as I'm wiping my tears.
“It’s a freakin' Discovery channel! You are watching a crocodile having lunch. What’s so touching about that??”
“I feel sad for the buffalo. I imagine if it has a family waiting for him. Its children waiting for his dad but he doesn’t come back home. And they are waiting and waiting and waiting.......”
“Mwahahaha! That’s so dramatic,” Jeongyeon laughs so hard.
“It’s supposed to be an educational show....” Mina says.
“I get it if you are scared while watching that. But get sad? Really???” Nayeon adds.
“Hehe... Yeah, it feels too weird indeed,” I answer them.
“Aww... Let her be~ Haeju is just a soft girl~” Sana hugs me behind the sofa.
“But I think it’s too much, Unnie. She cries on literally everything,” Tzuyu tells us, ”One day after taking a shower, she came into our room with a red face. I thought she was missing home or something. But when I asked what happened, she said that she thought about how hard the life of a PLUMBER!”
"That's so random!"
“Really???”
“Whoaa... She said that?”
“Angg~ It was kinda sad for me,” I try to convince them.
“That’s too far, Unnie. I’m a crybaby myself. But I don’t cry on things like that,” Dahyun sits beside me.
“Yeah, I think we need to help Haeju with her issue,” Jihyo suggests, “If we work as a team, I think we can change her a little bit.”
“True....”
“Agree....”
“I can’t imagine if one day you just cry in front of the public. People might misunderstand you. They probably will make some articles about how mean JYPe treats its idol,” Chaeyoung suddenly becomes so serious.
“Ow, that’s scary...”
“That really can happen!”
“Even your makeup is often ruined because she cries all of sudden.”
“Oh yeah, I remember that!”
“Or when she cried on her first Twice performance.”
“She made us all cried tho.”
“Hahaha....”
"She easily gets panicked."
"So true!"
“We need to help Haeju.”
“Yeah...”
“Thanks, guys,” I say, “You all so care with me. So kind...”
“Wait, does that make you touched again?” Momo checks my eyes and, yes, they get teary again. “Oh my God, Haeju, that’s enouuuuuuuuuuuuugh!!!"
Including me, everybody laughs at that. I wipe my eyes. Hmm... Maybe I really need to change.

I need to be tough.

***

[AT THE AIRPORT]

Right now Jihyo, Nayeon, and I are waiting for someone. I haven’t met this person for a long time but I’m not sure if I miss her or not. My relationship with her is not really nice, but still, we need each other. Or maybe not? In fact, this person is coming back from far away in America. She has left me and my little brother here alone for a couple years. What a not-caring woman.........

“Haeju! Haha, you are taller,” She says as she spots me and walking towards here.
“Oh, you notice.....” I answer her carelessly.
“Annyeonghaseyo, Haeju’s mom!” Jihyo introduces herself. “We are Haeju’s friends. My name is.....”
“Yeah yeah, you are Twice. Of course I know who you are! I’m not stupid,” she answers. “By the way, where is Richard, Dummy?”
"Huh? Who’s that?” I'm confused.
“Your brother.”
“It’s Haneul!”
“Yeah, that kid.”
“Hhh... He cannot pick you up because he really needs to meet his professor at this hour. So he asked me. It’s so fortunate that I have no schedule and they (I’m pointing at Nayeon and Jihyo) can drive me here.”
“We are also curious how beautiful Haeju’s mom is. You have a really pretty daughter,” Nayeon adds.
“I've called your little brother, Dummy. He should be here instead of you!”
“How can you say that in front of my friends?! They have spent their time to pick you up.” I see Jihyo and Nayeon are just smiling there awkwardly. She really never cares about me or my friends. As usual. She knows nothing about my life!
“Hoaahm~ Anyway I get jet-lagged. Let’s take your mom to the home quickly. I also need to wash all of my undies. You don’t live at home anymore, do you? Wash your own clothes, I’m tired. Oh, I’m also so hungry-“
“And?!” I cut her.
“Im Nayeon. Park Jihyo. You have prepared something to eat for me, right?” She asks them. Eh, she knows their complete names? 
“We can stop by at the nearest restaurant,” Jihyo responds her.
“Good. Now... Where is your car?”
“Umm... This way, Ma’am,” Nayeon then leads us to the parking lot. Ah, poor them. I have told them not to expect much from this arrogant and weird woman.

I mean, 'my mom’.......

***

[ON THE BACKSTAGE]

“Phew! That was crowded,” Momo says as she is entering our waiting room. The rest of the members are following her.
“It was fun. Once were so energetic,” Jihyo says.
“Yeah...”
“I’m glad I didn’t make any mistake today.”
“Same! The song was kinda hard for me.”
“The song is unusual indeed. The lyrics are too deep!”
“Yeah, it sounds kinda sad...”
“Well, I’m glad Haeju didn’t cry on a stage. Hahaha!” Jeongyeon starts to tease me again. No need to wait too long, now everyone is talking about that. I can’t blame them. I’m still a crybaby until today, even yesterday! In a car on the way back to the dorm, my eyes became teary again because of something ridiculous. It was so embarrassing.

“Unnie, you really need to control your emotion!” Dahyun tells me.
“Yeah, Ju, we become sentimental too because of you,” Sana adds.
“Remember, you are an idol! Your face belongs to the public. You don’t want them to see you crying, do you?” Jeongyeon asks me.
“No........” I answer.
“Then try not to cry!”
“Oh, I have an idea!” Nayeon says excitingly, “How about we train Haeju?”
“How?”
“Wait, listen to me first! How about we’ll try to make her cry while she is trying to hold it? Like a simulation.”
“I think that will work,” Momo says.
“Sounds mean to me...” Mina is holding my hand.
“But we are doing it for Haeju! You wanna change yourself, right, Ju?”
“I guess....”
“See?”
“Ok, I agree.”
“I agree”
“Me too.”
“Guys, we are going to meet the photographers outside the building. That means there will be so many people outside, right? This is the right time! How about Haeju holding it in front of them?”
"But why should she cry now?”
“Mm, we need to make her cry somehow... I know. Tell her something sad!”
“Ju, close your eyes....”
I close my eyes as Mina tells me. Someone plays a sad song in the background.

With her soft voice, she tells me a story.........

"Imagine you are going back home. You see there are a lot of your relatives there. It's so unusual. They look at you like they're pitying you. You know they want to tell you something, but no one says a thing. You don't know what's happening. Then your little brother comes out from the house while crying. You ask what happens but all he does is telling you to follow him. He grabs your hand and pulls you into the house. In one of the room, people are surrounding the bed. There is something on it. Now you are wondering why can't you see your mom. She is the one who supposed to be in your home, not these people. Then, your brother pulls you getting close to the bed. And there you see it, your mom is lying there. Her eyes are closed. She is a wearing such a pretty dress. So beautiful. 

Mom, why are you sleeping? You ask her. She doesn't answer. You touch her hand. It's so cold and stiff. Mom, wake up! Why are our relatives here? You ask her again, hoping that you'll get an answer that you want to hear. But, no. You already know what's happening. Later you realize there is an empty coffin beside the bed of the same size as your mom. Mom... You call her again but with a trembling voice this time. Tears are flowing on your cheeks. Your brother hugs you. You can feel how sad he is by his cry. At that time, you start to realize that she has left you. You remember everything you have done to her. You want to apologize. You want to let her knows that you love her. Just one more time, you want to see her smiling.......

But your mom has gone forever........"

No need to be explained more, I'm crying listening to that. Then Mina tells me to open my eyes. All the members are looking at me right now.
"Okay, Ju. Now calm yourself down. We need to get changed and meet the media outside. We will keep whispering you the story," Jeongyeon says.

"But this time, try not to cry......."

(to be continued)